


Show Me Your Colors

by CommanderHeartEyes071215



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Attempt at Humor, Clarke is not, F/F, Fluff, Lexa is closed off, playful banter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-05-25 14:41:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 107,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14979335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHeartEyes071215/pseuds/CommanderHeartEyes071215
Summary: "Clarke was in the breakroom, sipping on a hot chocolate to try and warm her freezing body when she saw her for the first time. The woman walked in without bothering to knock. She strode across the room, sat down, and effortlessly lifted her messenger bag onto the wooden table."Clarke teaches at Arkadia High and Lexa is a new teacher.Lexa seems closed off and Clarke is determined to break through her walls, but will Lexa let her?





	1. Nice to meet you too

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with a new story which I've been working on for the past few months. I originally planned on posting it later but I honestly couldn't wait any longer

 

 

** Monday 01/08/18 **

 

Clarke was in the break room, sipping on a hot chocolate to try and warm her freezing body when she saw her for the first time. 

The woman walked in without bothering to knock. She strode across the room, head tilted up high and eyes focused on nothing but the table ahead of her. In a commanding and somewhat majestic manner, she sat down, effortlessly lifted her messenger bag onto the wooden table, then pulled out her laptop. 

The whole room had grown silent and all eyes were on the newcomer but the woman didn’t seem to mind the attention. She kept working diligently on her laptop, never once raising her gaze. 

“That’s the new teacher.” someone whispered next to Clarke, “Not very talkative.” Niylah joked. 

Clarke hummed but her eyes were still on the other woman. Her hair was pulled in several braids which had probably taken forever to make and it looked magnificent. Her jaw was sharp and she had high cheekbones. Clarke briefly wondered if that woman had been carved by the gods because her bone structure was next to perfect. 

“Griff?” Niylah snapped a finger in front of her eyes and that’s when Clarke realized that the chatter had resumed and that she was the only teacher still looking at the woman. 

A teacher, whom Clarke knew to be Ms. Forrest, one of the school's science teachers, approached the woman's table and sat opposite her. The woman looked up and gave a nod of greeting to Ms. Forrest before telling her something that Clarke couldn’t quite hear from where she was sitting. 

“So, she does speak.” Niylah said. 

Clarke hummed distractedly, “Who is she?” she asked. 

“Lexa Woods.” Niylah replied, “The new French teacher. She's here in replacement of Mrs. Jones who retired last week.” 

“She's a French teacher?” Clarke repeated, “Fuck, that’s hot.” she added quietly. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Clarke hurried to say. 

Niylah gave her a questioning look, then seemed to let it go, resuming the conversation they were having before Lexa walked in. 

Clarke couldn’t remember what that conversation was and to be quite honest, she wasn’t really interested in it anymore. She feigned listening but her attention was clearly elsewhere.

 

 

\--- _Earlier that morning---_

 

 

Lexa breathed deeply as she neared the door of her apartment, preparing herself to leave for work _._ She hadn’t expected this job opportunity to rise up and was pleasantly surprised when her best friend told her there was a vacant position as a French teacher at the school she taught at. Lexa knew how to speak three languages fluently; English, French and Spanish, and she was quite good in other languages such as Dutch or even German. It was a given that she would be selected for the job. 

She put her messenger bag on the floor, kneeled, and checked one last time that everything was in place, “The students’ list, I have it.” she said out loud, “And all the sheets, perfect.” she rubbed her hands over her black jeans, smoothing out the fabric, then buttoned up the top button of her shirt, only to unbutton it just as quickly, “Strict, but not too much” she told herself with a nod. She grabbed her jacket and walked out the door, locking it behind her. 

She arrived at school about twenty minutes early and instantly headed towards what she assumed to be the teachers’ lounge. Her assumption was confirmed when she walked in. Not one for introductions or awkward small talk, she wordlessly took a seat at an empty table and pulled out her laptop to work on it. 

She could feel stares on her but didn’t truly care. She had had her fair share of those when she was a teen and her step-brother and herself would move from school to school because of their father’s job. One stare was more persistent than the others and Lexa could barely make out blond hair in her peripheral vision, her eyes never looking up to actually get a good look. 

She heard the sound of a chair being pulled in front of her and she was about to sigh and glare at whoever thought it would be a good idea to start a conversation but all thoughts of that left her mind when she saw it was Anya, her long time best friend. 

Anya and her had met eighteen years ago at summer camp when she was eight years old and Anya was ten years old. They had accidentally crashed into one another during a race. Well, Lexa claimed it was accidental while Anya maintained her version of the story in which Lexa threw herself on Anya because she refused to lose. 

They had hated each other and pulled pranks on one another for the most part of the camp until one day, Lexa pushed the prank a little too far and put a spider in Anya's sheets while she was sleeping before waking up the girl with screams. Anya had jumped out of bed faster than Lexa had ever seen her move before and she had clung tightly to the brunette's arm. 

 _“What the fuck?”_ Anya had said, finally releasing her grip on Lexa's arm, _“Did you put a fucking spider in my bed?”_

Lexa had been mortified and had kept silent. 

She had frowned when Anya's lips had stretched into a wide smile, _“You're hardcore, dumb face, I like it.”_

And that was basically how their friendship had started. They had then spent half an hour trying to find the missing spider. According to Lexa at the time, there is only one thing worse than a spider: a spider that has disappeared from your sight. 

“How do you feel?” Anya asked, popping a box of grapes open, “Want one?” 

Lexa took one and ate it before answering, “A bit nervous.” she admitted. 

“It doesn’t show.” Anya said with a smirk, “I’m pretty sure 90% of the teachers here are already deadly afraid of you.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “No, they're not.” 

Anya raised an eyebrow, “Then, throw a glance in the direction of the man on your left.” 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Just do it.” 

Lexa sighed and looked to the left and watched as the forty-ish year old teacher jumped slightly and averted his eyes, looking anywhere but in her direction. 

“...What?” Lexa said, eyebrows raised, “I didn’t even do anything.” 

“That’s the thing.” Anya said, “You just walked in without saying hi to anyone and sat alone in silence to work on your laptop.” 

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t like small talk.” 

Anya smiled, “That was one hell of an entrance. Pretty fucking cool if you ask me.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“No but seriously, Lex. You just built yourself a reputation for the two years to come.” 

“Bullshit.” Lexa said, typing on her keyboard. 

“Real shit.” Anya said, “On my first day, I accidentally spilled coffee on someone and didn’t apologize. They avoided me for the rest of the year.” 

Lexa chuckled and saw a few teachers’ eyes widen. _What? Did they think I was incapable of laughing or what?_ she asked herself. 

Anya looked down at her watch, “Ten minutes before your first class. Follow me, I'll show you where your classroom is” she got up. 

Lexa quickly put her laptop back in her bag, then slung it over her shoulder before following after Anya, her eyes meeting blue ones for the first time on her way out. She faltered in her steps slightly but didn’t have much time to dwell on it because Anya was already far from her. _Damn that woman walks fast,_ she huffed, accelerating her pace.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“Hey, Clarke!” she heard someone call after her and slowed her pace a little when she saw that it was Bellamy, one of the school’s math teachers. 

“Hey, what's up?” 

He smiled, “Just wanted to spend some time with you, princess.” he said, “When do you finish today?” 

“Uh...3.30, I think.” 

“Perfect!” he said, “Then how about we go to that restaurant you like so much. You know, the one that serves great thaï food.” 

Clarke debated in her mind. On one hand, she didn’t want to give him false hope. The guy had been trying to score a date with her for two years already. On the other hand, she would kill for some thaï food right now. 

“Sure.” she replied, “We can also invite Octavia. I know she has a day off today and I haven’t seen her much lately.” 

 _Nailed it,_ she thought to herself. 

His face fell a little but he quickly masked it with his best attempt at a smile, “Sure, sounds good.” he said, his tone not concealing his disappointment in the slightest, “See you then.” 

“See you.” 

Clarke didn’t feel bad for rejecting him. She might have felt bad about it in the beginning but he had kept on trying for two years despite how many times she told him it simply wasn't going to happen. 

She looked down, lost in thought and didn’t see the person rapidly walking towards her until it was too late. They bumped into one another and fell to the floor, Clarke unfortunately taking the brunt of it. She groaned and blushed heavily when she realized just who had bumped into her and was now lying on top of her. _Lexa Woods. **Of course,**_ she thought and wanted to laugh at how, despite how slim the chance of that happening was, it did happen. 

“A bit cliché, don’t you think?” she joked. 

The woman didn't laugh. She pushed herself off Clarke, “Watch where you're going.” she said, wiping at the dust on her pants. 

Clarke frowned and got up, “Excuse me?” she said, “You're the one who ran into me and I should watch where I’m going?” 

Lexa stared at her blankly, “Yes.” she simply said, “Now if you don’t mind.” she moved past Clarke, knocking shoulders, and walked down the hallway. 

Clarke stared at her and closed her hands in tight fists, anger rising inside of her chest, “So fucking rude.” she muttered, fuming, “Asshole.” 

She picked up her bag and left the building, all but striding out. If they were in a cartoon, she would have smoke coming out of her ears. 

“How dare she?” she angrily said to herself, _“Watch where you’re going.”_ she mockingly imitated Lexa's voice, “Next time I’ll step on your foot.” 

Students threw her weird looks when she quickly walked across the schoolyard, features closed off and a scowl on her face.

 

 

\----------

 

 

“You what?” Anya said. 

“Told her to watch where she was going. I just explained it to you.” Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“No, I understood the first time, thank you.” Anya said, “That was my way to let you know you shouldn’t have done it.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you just snapped at her for no valid reason and let me tell you, Griffin does not forget things like that. You just made yourself an enemy, dumb face.” 

“Whatever.” Lexa said, biting down on her sandwich, “If she starts a stupid rivalry between us over something so trivial, then she's a child.” 

Anya sighed and buried her face in her hands, “You’re impossible.” she said, a smile growing on her lips, “You just refuse to admit when you're wrong.” 

“Because I’m not.” Lexa quickly said. 

Anya shook her head and let it go for now. She unwrapped her lunch and started eating too, “Well, this year is going to be interesting.” she said, laughing. Lexa was too stubborn for her own good. Add to this her inability to exercise tact when speaking her thoughts, and you had a recipe for disaster. Especially when confronted with the storm that was Clarke Griffin. Sparks will fly, and not in the romantic sense of it.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Clarke rose from her seat when Lexa entered the teachers’ lounge and she left the room. Anya gave Lexa a look that said _I told you so,_ to which Lexa replied with a roll of her eyes, “It’s not my fault if she holds a grudge for meaningless things. She shouldn’t be so sensitive.” 

Anya winced, “I think I would also be mad if someone bumped into me and then proceeded to tell me to fuck off.” 

“I didn’t tell her to fuck off, I told-” 

“Same shit.” Anya said. 

Lexa sat down, “It’s vastly different.” she argued. 

“Lexa, just admit you were wrong and go apologize.” 

“No.” 

“You're such a child sometimes.” 

Lexa scoffed, “You’re supposed to have my back, you know? As my friend.” 

“Not when you're wrong.” Anya said, “Which you are.” she added, “What's it gonna cost you to go and apologize?” 

“Just drop it, I’m not going to do it.” Lexa said, growing frustrated. 

Anya shook her head, “You know, I really wonder how you can be so smart and yet so stupid.”

Lexa's lips tugged into a small smile, “You say the nicest things.” she sarcastically said.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“So that’s why you look ready to murder someone.” Octavia said when Clarke finished recounting the story. 

“Yes.” Clarke said, “She hasn’t even apologized yet. She genuinely believes she isn’t to blame because of course Miss Perfect can do no wrong.” 

Octavia laughed, “You seem pretty passionate about this Lexa Woods.” she noted. 

“Yeah, so? She snapped at me for no reason.” 

“I’m just saying, you don’t usually get this wound up when somebody else upsets you.” 

“It’s because she acted like a bitch about it.” Clarke insisted, “If she had just apologized, things would be fine, but no, she just refuses to swallow down her stupid pride.” 

Octavia hummed, “You should go talk to her for a bit. Clear things up.” 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because you said it yourself, she won’t make the first step so it’s your job to be the bigger person and do it.” 

Clarke sighed, “I don’t want to speak to her.” she said, downing her glass of water, “I don’t really feel like getting into an argument again.” 

Bellamy awkwardly listened to the conversation, not knowing what to say. 

“Talking to her might be the reason you avoid another argument.” Octavia pointed out, “Who knows, maybe she’s nice once you get to know her.” 

Clarke snorted, “I doubt it.” 

“At least try.” Octavia said, “And if it doesn’t work, at least you can tell yourself that your issues are entirely her fault.” 

“It already is entirely her fault.” Clarke mumbled, “Okay, okay.” she raised her hands when she saw the pointed look on Octavia's face, “I’ll do it.” 

“That’s my girl.” Octavia raised her glass.

 

 

** Tuesday 01/09/18 **

 

 

Clarke waited outside Lexa's classroom for the bell to ring. She immediately regretted that decision when the deafening sound of the bell nearly made her eardrums explode. 

Students started filing out of the class and looked at her weirdly, probably wondering what an English Lit. teacher was doing outside a classroom that was for foreign languages classes only. Everyone left the room and the last student closed the door behind him, shooting Clarke a smirk as if he knew very well that she wanted to come inside. 

“Little fucker.” she whispered before knocking on the door. 

“Come in.” Lexa said from the other side and Clarke hated how beautiful her voice sounded. 

She pushed the door open and cleared her throat. She saw Lexa's eyebrows shoot up when she saw her. _Surprise, bitch,_ she thought to herself. 

“I didn’t expect to see you today. Or any other day for that matter.” was all Lexa said as she resumed placing her stuff in her bag. 

“We need to talk.” 

“About what?” 

Clarke sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy if the woman didn't drop that attitude, “Don’t play dumb.” she simply said, advancing further into the room. 

Lexa sighed and gestured at a desk in the center. Clarke pulled out the chair and sat down. Lexa, as for her, sat behind her own desk.

 _As far away from me as possible, great,_ Clarke thought. 

“I’m listening.” Lexa said, folding her hands over her desk. 

Clarke stared at her for a few seconds without saying anything. Lexa raised an eyebrow and Clarke huffed. _Stupid perfectly shaped eyebrow._

“This is so stupid.” she said. 

“Excuse me?” 

“This whole... _thing.”_ Clarke gestured at nothing, “I don’t even know where it came from. Like, why did you have to blow it out of proportion so much?” 

Lexa frowned, ready to reply to Clarke's words but the blonde kept speaking. 

“We bumped into each other and fell down, big deal.” she said, making wide hand gestures, “I hate you without even knowing you. This is just plain stupid.” 

Lexa stayed silent for a few seconds, eyes focused on the wood of her desk, and Clarke was about to get up and leave when green eyes flicked up to meet her own. 

“I acted like a child.” she admitted, “And I apologize for that.” 

Clarke was taken aback. She definitely hadn’t expected this response. She had hoped for it, but had convinced herself it wouldn’t happen. 

“You...really?” 

Lexa nodded, unfolding her hands and zipping her bag close before lifting it onto the table, “I had time to think about it and I admit, I was a jerk to you.” 

“Why do I feel like you don’t apologize often?” 

“Because I don’t.” Lexa said, “But you actually made the effort to come here to talk and sort this out and it would be really rude of me to ignore that.” 

Clarke wanted to point out that it wouldn’t be the first time Lexa had been rude but settled instead for a nod. Octavia was right after all. She would have to buy her dinner sometime, as a thank you for her advice. 

“If that is all you had to say, I’ll be on my way now.” Lexa then said. 

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, sure, uh, thanks for hearing me out, I guess.” 

Lexa gave a sharp nod in reply. She left the room and waited in silence. Clarke's eyes widened when she realized Lexa was actually waiting for her to leave the room so she could lock up. 

“Oh, sorry.” she rose from her seat, picked up her bag and hurriedly walked out, “So, uh, see you.” she gave a small smile. 

Lexa gave a nod of acknowledgement before locking the door and heading outside the school. 

“So, that went well.” Clarke said to herself, “I think.” she added.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Clarke dropped on her couch and Octavia followed after her, resting her head in Clarke's lap, “I’m so full.” she complained, “Why did I order two pizzas for myself?” 

“Because your love for pizza is infinite and you have no self-control.” Clarke replied. 

Octavia hummed, “True.” 

She grabbed Clarke's hand and started tugging at her fingers because she was bored. 

“How did it go with your colleague, by the way?” 

Clarke smiled, “It went well.” she said, happier about it than she thought she would be, “She honest to God apologized.” 

“Good.” Octavia said, “I’m proud of you for being the bigger person, Clarkey-poo.” 

“Don’t call me that.” Clarke said, rolling her eyes. 

“But it's so cute.” 

“It was cute when I was five and my dad called me that.” Clarke corrected. 

“He still calls you that.” 

“I’m trying to get him to stop so don’t encourage him by using it too.” 

Octavia laughed, “When are we visiting your old man? I miss him.” 

“I miss him too.” Clarke let out a quiet sigh, “But right now, it’s impossible. We’re in the middle of the school year and we can’t take days off” 

Octavia hummed, “Maybe during Spring break, I’ll manage to get a few days off.” she thought aloud, “And then we go visit your parents. I missed your mom’s cooking.” 

“You’ve missed real meals, that’s what it really is about. I don’t know how you keep such a body with all the junk food you eat.” 

“I go to the gym.” Octavia shrugged, “You could come with me sometime. I feel alone when I go there.” 

“No thanks.” Clarke said, laughing, “I need to lose weight but not like that.” 

Octavia rose from her lap, “What are you talking about? You don’t need to lose weight. You have a perfect body.” 

Clarke smiled, “Thanks but I-” 

“No buts.” Octavia interrupted her, “You are a sexy lady and you do not need to lose weight. Unless you know it would make you feel better.” 

“Not really. I’m happy with my body, it’s just-” 

“Then it doesn't matter.” Octavia said, “As long as you feel good in your own skin, that’s all that matters.” 

“You are like those little motivational stickers.” Clarke laughed. 

Octavia smiled, “I'll take that as a compliment. Now let’s talk about this Lexa Woods…” she paused for a few seconds, “Is she hot?” 

Clarke groaned, “I’m not answering that.” 

Octavia smirked, “That means yes.”

 

 

\---------------

 

 

“My, my, the great Lexa Woods, master of stubbornness, actually apologized.” Anya said when Lexa told her about the events of the late afternoon. 

The brunette shook her head at her friend, “It’s not that uncommon.” 

Anya looked at her with an expression of disbelief, “Uh, yeah it is.” she countered, “You apologized like, twice in your entire life.” 

Lexa laughed, “That’s not true.” she waited a few seconds, “It was three times.” 

Anya smirked and ruffled her hair, “I’m proud of you, growing up and learning how to admit when you're wrong.” 

Lexa laughed, “Shut up, An.” she smacked her hand away, “I just didn’t want to make enemies on day one.” 

“Sure.” Anya hummed, clearly unconvinced, “And doesn’t this have anything to do with the fact that Clarke Griffin is quite objectively the hottest teacher at school? After me, of course.” 

Lexa blushed and frowned, “I hadn’t noticed.” she lied. Of course she had noticed Clarke's beauty. She had eyes. 

“You're the biggest lesbian this earth has ever known. You definitely noticed.” 

Lexa looked away, “Stop trying to set me up with every woman we meet.” she mumbled. 

“First of all, I only try to set you up with the cute ones, and second, you haven’t dated anyone in the past ten months. Time to get back in the game.” 

Lexa pursed her lips, “Sorry that my last relationship fucked up my trust in people.” she said, more harshly than intended. 

Anya placed a hand on Lexa's knee, “I know you're scared to try again but not everyone is like Costia. It doesn't even have to be with Clarke, I just think you should try and date again.” 

“I don't know, Anya…” 

“Just think about it, alright?” 

Lexa clenched her eyes, “Yeah, okay…” she relented, “But I can’t promise you anything.”

 

 

** Thursday 01/11/18 **

 

 

Clarke groaned at the huge pile of tests she needed to mark for tomorrow. _That's what happens when you do things last minute, dumbass._

Technically, she could push it back to later, as many teachers often do under the disguise of _not having had the time to mark the tests due to an emergency,_ but she knew doing this wouldn’t change much. She would still end up doing it last-minute anyway. 

She bumped her head against her desk and let out a loud groan. A knock on the door caused her to raise her head. 

“Everything alright?” 

Lexa was standing near the door, still outside the room. _What the fuck is Lexa doing here?_ Clarke asked herself. She then sighed, “No…” she gestured towards the pile of tests. 

“It’s late.” Lexa stated the obvious. 

“No shit.” Clarke mumbled, “I need to finish this and I’m not productive when I'm at home.” 

Lexa stayed by the threshold, as if afraid to step further into the room. Her words were cautious and seemingly carefully chosen, possibly out of fear to say something rude and restart a fight, Clarke assumed. 

“You can come in, you know.” 

Lexa's eyes widened slightly and she gave a nod of her head before taking cautious steps. She quietly closed the door behind her, “Maybe...maybe I can help you?” 

“No offense, but you’re not an English Lit. teacher so I’m not sure-” 

“To be a French teacher, I need a perfect knowledge of the English language as well. And I’ve taught English a couple years ago.” Lexa argued, “I think I can help.” 

Clarke stared at her for a few seconds, “Why would you do this?” 

Lexa let out a frustrated sigh. Her next words were spoken very quietly, “To make up for being an ass.” 

“You already apologized, it’s fine.” Clarke said, looking back down at the papers, moving her pen along the page. 

She heard the screeching sound of a chair and raised her gaze to see Lexa seated next to her at her desk, an unmarked test in her hands and a red pen on her side of the table. 

“So you're just not going to take no for an answer?” 

Lexa shook her head and made a quick scan of the test, “So, how do I mark this?” 

Clarke placed the sheet she was using to correct in between the two of them, “The essential stuff is written here. You can correct the first two pages but leave the essays to me, it’s the one thing where I can’t really let someone else mark it.” 

Lexa nodded and they started working in silence. Clarke stole glances at the woman from time to time. Her brow was creased and she was working very seriously, checking the correcting paper sheet every two seconds. 

“That Victoria girl should probably study more.” Lexa commented when she finished marking the first two pages of the girl's test, only to see that she had replied correctly to two questions out of ten. Four of the questions had been left completely unanswered. 

Clarke shook her head, “I keep telling her that but it doesn’t change anything. I can’t force her to study. I just hope she’s doing well enough in other classes.”

Lexa was already back to correcting the tests when Clarke finished her sentence but she gave a hum to indicate she was still listening. 

Clarke dropped the upper half of her body on the desk and closed her eyes, “Much better.” she whispered. 

Lexa looked at her briefly, curious green eyes analyzing the woman's features, before she shook herself out of it and resumed marking the tests. 

After about ten minutes, Lexa heard a small, almost inaudible snoring sound and she noticed that Clarke had fallen asleep. Carefully, she gathered the stack of tests, dividing them into two categories: the marked ones and the unmarked ones. She did the same with the sheets of paper on Clarke's side, except for the ones trapped under the woman's body. 

“Clarke?” she called out but received no reply, save for the woman's even breathing. 

She very slowly and hesitantly brought her hand up to the blonde's shoulder and gently shook her awake. Clarke mumbled something in her sleep that sounded like _five more minutes._  

“Clarke, wake up.” Lexa tried to shake her again and the blonde bolted upright, startling Lexa who jumped away from her quickly. 

“Lexa?” Clarke said in a hoarse voice as she rubbed her eyes, “Why are you here?” 

The French teacher gestured at the pile of tests, “I offered to help you with this, remember?” she reminded. 

“Oh, right.” Clarke said, “We should-” her words were cut off when a yawn broke through her, “We should probably finish this quickly.” she picked up her pen. 

Lexa's hand grabbed her own and Clarke felt a tingling feeling invade her skin as the woman opened her fist and took the pen out of it. 

“You need to get some rest.” she quietly said, storing the pen in Clarke's pencil case and gathering the last papers, adding them to the pile, “Here.” she handed the stack to Clarke. 

“But I need to finish it for tomorrow.” 

Lexa shook her head, “No, you don't. It’s already 7pm.” she said, “Besides, your students won’t even realize you gave it to them late if you give the tests back on Monday.” 

Clarke sighed and nodded. She was too tired to argue anyway. She placed the stack of tests in her briefcase and got up from her chair. 

“Uh, thank you.” she said when they were standing by the entrance of the school, “For helping me and stuff.” 

Lexa gave a nod and frowned when she saw Clarke head towards her car, “Griffin, wait.” 

The blonde turned around slowly, confused, “What's wrong?” 

Lexa walked towards her and grabbed her hand to lead the two of them towards her own car. Lexa's hand was extremely soft against her skin, Clarke noted. 

“You're too tired to drive. It’s not safe. Get in.” Lexa released Clarke's hand and opened the car door. 

Clarke obeyed, trying to ignore the flutter in her chest at the concern that Lexa's actions betrayed, and they drove in silence, except for the blonde's instructions on where to go. 

“Thank you, Lexa.” Clarke tiredly said when they pulled up to her apartment building, “Have a goodnight.” 

Lexa nodded and waited until Clarke was safely inside the building before driving away.

 

 

** Friday 01/12/18 **

****

****

Clarke was running faster than she had ever run and she hated her life right now. She had never been much of an athletic person to begin with. Not even the music in her earphones could motivate her. On top of it, it was raining, as if having to run wasn’t enough already. She was definitely going to be late for work. 

She heard a loud honk behind her and turned around, frowning. The window of the car was rolled down and Lexa's head popped out of it, “Need a lift?” 

“Fuck, yes!” Clarke said, louder than intended, “Thank you so much.” she told her when she climbed into the car, “Sorry.” she apologized when she noticed she was wetting the car seat. She unplugged her earphones and put them in her lap. 

“It’s okay. Why were you running in the rain like that?” 

“My alarm clock didn’t go off.” Clarke grumbled, “And I know I set it last night!” she exclaimed, “But wait, that's not all. My car is still in the school's parking lot because you kindly drove me back yesterday - _thank you again for that, by the way-_ and the next bus didn’t arrive until half an hour later so my only option was running. And I hate running with a burning passi-” 

She stopped speaking when she saw Lexa’s expression. 

“Are you...Is that a smile?” she pointed at Lexa's face. 

“No.” Lexa said, schooling her features. 

“I thought you were incapable of expressing feelings other than anger and disgust.” 

“Disgust?” 

“I saw the face you pulled when you tasted our coffee.” 

“It is awful, Griffin.” 

“And I agree with you.” the blonde raised her arms. 

“I’m perfectly able to express emotions.” Lexa then said, “I just don't have a reason to smile when ninety percent of the people I work with are fools.” 

Clarke's eyes widened, “Here’s to hoping I’m part of the ten percent left.” 

Lexa smirked, “I’ll let you figure that out by yourself.” 

Clarke narrowed her eyes at her, “I won’t say anything because I wouldn’t want to bruise your ego.” 

“As if you could.” 

Clarke smiled, “I think I could if I really tried. I mean, how confident in yourself can you be?” 

“You can try but it’s gonna be on you if we start hating each other again.” 

Clarke squinted her eyes at her, “It was your fault the first time.” she pointed out, “Acting all superior and shit.” 

“I don’t act superior.” Lexa denied. 

“You kind of do.” Clarke said. 

Lexa's face turned into a scowl, “I really don’t. It's not my fault people are too insecure and feel judged all the time.” 

“There we go.” Clarke smiled, “I bruised your ego.” 

Lexa huffed and remained silent. 

Clarke poked her side but Lexa swatted her hand away, “Griffin, stop.” 

“So we're on last name basis, huh?” she said, “Are you mad at me or something?” 

Lexa kept looking ahead, “Not yet but I might drop you off here if you don’t stop.” 

Clarke smirked. The brunette's words weren’t friendly at all but the tone of her voice indicated she wasn’t speaking seriously. 

“You want to know what I think?” 

“No.” 

“I think you like me.” Clarke said, ignoring Lexa's answer, “We could be friends, you know?” 

Lexa let out a disbelieving laugh, “Right.” 

Clarke smiled to herself, “I’ll break through that tough exterior of yours, you’ll see.” 

“Can’t wait.” Lexa said in a monotone voice, pulling up to the school's parking lot, “We’re here.” 

Clarke unbuckled her seatbelt, “Thanks for the ride.” she gave Lexa a bright smile before getting out of the car and heading towards the school building. 

Lexa watched her leave and shook her head, trying to no avail to repress a smile.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Back to square one

** Sunday 01/14/18 **

 

Clarke groaned when she heard the doorbell of her apartment. She checked the time on her phone. _Who the fuck is up at 8am on a Sunday?_

She quickly passed a hair brush through her hair, then walked towards the door, “Fucking hell!” she all but yelled when she hit her toe against the corner of a piece of furniture.

 

 

<<<>>> 

 

 

_“Fucking hell!”_

Lexa heard the sudden yell and was tempted to ask if everything was okay but didn't. She waited in silence for the door to open to reveal her colleague, in her pajamas. Her very short, very revealing pajamas. Clarke was wearing black shorts and a white tank top, leaving arms and legs uncovered. 

“Lexa?” 

Her voice snapped Lexa back to reality and she suddenly remembered why she had come here in the first place. She cleared her throat, “You forgot this in my car on Friday.” 

Lexa handed the blonde her earphones and Clarke honest to God let out a groan, “So that’s where they were!” she exclaimed, grabbing them, “I’ve been looking for them all of yesterday!” 

Lexa clasped her hands together, “I wanted to bring them back earlier but I was incapable of doing so due to personal matters.” 

Clarke smiled, “You talk in a very funny way.” she pointed out. 

“You’re an English Lit. teacher.” Lexa said, “Proper grammar and formal vocabulary shouldn’t be uncommon to you.” 

Clarke frowned, “Are you implying I’m not good enough at my job?” 

Lexa's eyes widened, “No, that’s not what I meant.” 

Clarke smiled, “That, right here” she pointed at the brunette's face, “Is the most expression I have ever seen on your face.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Whatever.” 

“Very mature, Woods.” 

“I’m leaving now.” Lexa announced. 

Clarke chuckled, “Okay, weirdo.” 

Lexa didn’t answer, save for another roll of her eyes. She nodded once, then turned around and started her walk down the stairs. 

“The elevator’s working!” Clarke shouted. 

“I prefer walking.” Lexa said before disappearing. 

“Of course you do.” 

Clarke looked down at the earphones and smiled, then frowned. **_Wait...how did she get my address?_**

Right at this moment, her phone beeped with a new text message. 

**Unknown number - 8.07am:** _Before you freak out. I got your address and number at the administration office so I could return your earphones to you._

Clarke looked around. **_Can she read my mind? She's so weird. Dammit! She might have heard that!_**

Clarke rolled her eyes at herself, “I’m so fucking stupid.” 

Her phone dinged a couple seconds later. 

**Unknown number - 8.08am:** _Yes, you are._

Clarke looked around and saw Lexa coming up the stairs, “Don’t do that! I thought you could read my mind or something.” 

“Don’t be silly. It’s impossible.” 

“Why are you back here anyway?” 

Lexa gave a tiny, almost nonexistent smile, “I have a question. A few questions actually. About the school. And Anya isn’t available right now so I might as well ask you.” 

“Please, don’t sound too excited about it.” Clarke sarcastically said. She laughed at Lexa's blank expression, “Come in.”

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“So basically, students can wander around the hallways as long as they have this thing?” Lexa pointed at the pass Clarke had shown her earlier. 

“Yup.” 

“This is a stupid rule.” 

“I agree.” 

“If students are allowed to walk around during class, it’ll create a whole mess.” 

“Well, at first this system was installed so that students can go to the bathroom but it escalated quickly and now students use it for stupid things.” 

“Such as?” 

“Making out in the hallways” Clarke rolled her eyes, “That’s why I almost never give a pass to students.” 

“Smart.” Lexa nodded. 

“Did you just call me smart?” 

“No, I said your action was smart. Doesn’t make you smart. Dumb people can do smart things from time to time.” 

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “You really went out of your way just to make sure I wasn’t being given a compliment.” 

“Wouldn’t want your ego to grow anymore than the enormous size it already has.” Lexa smirked as she put the pass aside. 

“You’re one to talk.” Clarke said. 

She enjoyed this small banter between the two of them. Lexa was actually fun to be around, as long as you aren’t too sensitive because the woman didn’t hold back when she spoke. She was as honest as they come. Clarke kind of appreciated that. 

“Which teacher should I avoid speaking to altogether?” 

Clarke laughed, “That’s one of your questions?” 

“Yes.” Lexa nodded, “It is important to know.” she argued, “I don’t want to waste my time on people who are undeserving of it.” 

“Right to the point, why don’t ya?” Clarke joked, “Well, Mr Pike is a huge pervert who keeps talking about his time in the army as if it was an accomplishment.” 

“It isn’t?” 

“Not when you quit after two weeks because of a twisted ankle you got by landing badly from a three feet high surface.” 

“Lame.” 

“I know right.” 

“Okay so, no Pike.” Lexa committed it to memory, “Anyone else?” 

Clarke thought for a bit, “Mrs. Queen is a bit shady. I don’t know much about her but she keeps looking at everyone as if she's planning the exact way she will murder them.” 

“If murder was legal.” Lexa added. 

“I don’t think the illegality of it is what would stop her.” Clarke said and it drew a small laugh from Lexa, “Did you...Did I  manage to make you laugh?” she asked, dumbfounded. 

“No.” Lexa denied, looking away. 

“Yessss.” Clarke said, raising both fists in the air, “Call me a comedic genius from now on because that’s what I am.” 

“You're not that amazing.” Lexa said. 

“Shhhh.” Clarke placed a finger on her lips, “You laughed.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes and swatted her hand away from her face, “Anyone else?” 

Clarke thought for a moment, “Well...he’s my friend but…” 

“But…?” 

“You should probably avoid speaking to Bellamy or else he might try to score a date with you for the next two years.” 

“Speaking from experience?” Lexa smirked. 

“Sadly, yes.” Clarke said. 

“Well, you shouldn’t worry about me. There's no chance of that ever happening.” 

“I think you underestimate Bellamy's determination.” 

“And I think you underestimate how gay I am.” Lexa countered, her voice slightly nervous. 

Clarke's eyes widened and her mouth fell, “Oh.” the word slipped past her lips. _Why the fuck am I happy about that information?_ Clarke thought. 

Lexa cleared her throat after the silence stretched itself for a few seconds, “I’m gonna go.” she quietly said, moving to get up but Clarke stopped her by placing a hand on her wrist. 

“No, wait.” she said, “I’m okay with it.” she hurried to add, “I’m bisexual myself so obviously I’m not homophobic.” she let out a nervous laugh. 

“Oh, okay” Lexa nodded, eyebrows slightly furrowed, “Are there...other teachers who…?” 

“Niylah's a lesbian if that’s what you're asking.” 

“Niylah?” 

“Math teacher. Her last name is Pine.” 

Lexa frowned, then recognition washed over her face, “Oh, yes. Miss Pine. Good, uh, good to know.” 

“Why?” Clarke laughed, “Looking for a partner, Woods?” 

Lexa blushed and Clarke smiled at seeing the usually composed teacher flustered for the first time, “Not at all. I’m just happy to not be the only one, I guess.” 

“What about Ms. Forrest?” 

“Anya? She's as straight as they come.” 

“Really? I could have sworn she was gay.” Clarke said. 

“Sorry to disappoint.” Lexa said with a smirk. 

“Oh no, I’m not disappointed. Just re-evaluating my gaydar because it seems to be broken.” 

“There is no such thing as a gaydar.” Lexa said, rolling her eyes. 

“Uh, yes, there is.” Clarke countered, “I mean, mine is really fucking bad but it still exists.” 

“Sure. Whatever makes you happy” 

“Drop that attitude, Woods.” Clarke raised a finger, “Because I know that, deep down, you agree with me.” 

“I really don’t.” 

“Shhhh.” Clarke placed her finger on plump lips but it was smacked away once again, “I bet you're a real softie under that tough exterior.” 

“Not a chance.” Lexa replied dryly, “Now, can we get back to more important matters?” 

Clarke sighed, “Okay, what do you need to know?” 

“Are there bathrooms for teachers? I’m tired of having to use the same as students. Teenagers are gross.” 

Clarke laughed, “Rest easy, there are bathrooms for teachers. They're on the second floor. I can show you tomorrow if you'd like.” 

“I think I’ll manage on my own.” 

Clarke blinked twice, then nodded, “Okay, sure. Whatever works for you, I guess.” 

“Anything is better than those bathrooms. Do you know what I found in the last stall?” Lexa asked. 

“Do I want to know?” 

“A used condom.” 

“Okay, I didn’t want to know.” Clarke said, “That’s gross, Lexa. Keep that information to yourself.” 

“At least you're more familiar with...this…” 

“Because I’m bisexual? Did your poor lesbian heart give out at the sight of a condom?” 

“A _used_ condom.” Lexa corrected, pure horror and disgust written on her face. 

“Yes, I understood the first time, thank you very much.” Clarke said, “Anyways, you won’t have this issue anymore.” 

“Thank y-” 

“Assuming that none of our fellow teachers like to jump each other's bones in the upstairs bathroom.” 

Lexa stared at her with a blank face, _“Jump each other's bones?”_ she repeated, one eyebrow raised, “Really, Griffin?” 

“It’s a saying.” Clarke mumbled, a slight blush taking over her face. 

Lexa hummed, clearly unconvinced, “Are there couples among teachers?” 

“That I know of? Only among the older teachers so no risk of that happening. Oh, Jesus! I just imagined it!” Clarke said, clenching her eyes, “Oh no, closing my eyes makes it worse. I’m blaming you.” she pointed at Lexa. 

“I never asked you to picture it, Griffin.” 

“You made me think of it with your question.” Clarke said, “Your fault.” 

“If it helps you sleep at night.” 

“No, it won’t. Because now I have this image scarred in my mind.” 

“Poor you.” 

“Have some respect.” Clarke said, “I’m gonna come to school looking like a sleep deprived zombie and that will be on you.” 

Lexa hummed and got up, “That’s about all I wanted to know. Thank you.” 

“Oh.” Clarke got up, “Let me accompany you to the door.” 

“I can walk on my own.” 

Clarke huffed, “I’m just trying to be nice.” she said, “You should try it sometime. It might be a fun experience for you.” 

“Hilarious.” Lexa dryly replied, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Griffin.” 

Clarke smiled, “See you.”

  

** Monday 01/15/18 **

  

Clarke saw Bellamy approach from the corner of her eye and she accelerated her pace. It wasn’t kind but she was tired from having slight insomnia the night before and really wasn’t in the mood to reject him again. 

“Clarke!” 

She clenched her eyes tight and turned around, a fake smile plastered on her lips, “Hey, Bellamy.” she forced out. He stepped too close for her taste and she took a small step back, “What’s up?” she asked, looking around for a way out of this conversation. 

“I was thinking we could-” 

“Oh, Niylah!” Clarke exclaimed, “Sorry, Bellamy, but I really need to talk to her. It’s urgent.” she lied before walking away and towards the math teacher, “Pretend I’m asking you something important.” 

Niylah frowned but played along, nodding seriously before leading the two of them into an adjacent hallway, “So, what was that about?” 

“Bellamy.” Clarke sighed. 

“He just won’t get the hint, will he?” 

Clarke shrugged, “He’s not a bad guy but I’m tired of having to reject him over and over again. When will he understand?” 

“It seems unlikely that he ever will.” 

Clarke pushed open the door of the teachers’ break room. Her eyes instantly landed on the brunette sitting at one of the tables in the back. She gave a small, tight-lipped smile. She didn't receive anything more than a nod of acknowledgement in return but it was already good enough in her opinion. 

She made her way towards the coffee maker and felt a tap on her shoulder just as she was finishing filling her cup, hoping that the caffeine would help keep her awake. She turned around and saw Lexa, her infamous smirk plastered on her face, “You look awful, Griffin.” 

“Thanks.” Clarke smiled. 

“You weren’t lying when you said the image of our colleagues having sexual intercourse would scar you.” 

Clarke shook her head, “It did scar me but that’s not the reason I couldn’t sleep.” she said, “I’ve been having insomnia for the past week and…” she trailed off, realizing that Lexa probably didn't even care to know about this, “Anyway, I look awful, I know. Thanks for pointing it out.” 

Lexa nodded and wordlessly reached for a cup to pour herself a coffee as well. She then went back to her seat and opened her computer. Clarke eyed her for a few seconds before her line of vision was filled with somebody's chest. 

“Jesus!” she exclaimed, clutching her chest, over her heart, “Warn me next time.” she rolled her eyes. 

“We didn’t get to finish our conversation.” Bellamy reminded, “And since Niylah isn’t with you anymore…” 

“I’d love to.” Clarke lied, “But I promised I’d sit with Lexa today. We talk. Sometimes.” she poorly gave this excuse. 

“You talk...with Lexa?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are we talking about the same person?” 

“Do you know another person named Lexa?” Clarke said. 

So now, here she was, walking towards Lexa's table, knowing damn well that she hadn’t been invited in any way by the woman to sit with her. 

“Lexa?” 

The woman briefly looked up before focusing back on her computer screen, “What do you want?” 

“Honestly?” 

“That would be preferred, yes.” 

“To escape Bellamy.” Clarke said, scowling, “He’s been trying to talk to me since I got here and I really don’t want to.” 

“I don’t see what this has to do with me.” Lexa said, typing down on the computer’s keyboard. 

“I might have lied and told him I promised you to spend time with you.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “And he believed that?” she asked, “Then he knows me even less than I thought if he thinks I would ever ask someone to spend time with me.” 

Clarke frowned, “I’ll have you know I’m great company.” 

“That has yet to be proven.” Lexa replied, a small smile forming on her lips, “Allow me to doubt that claim.” 

Clarke gestured at the chair, sensing Bellamy's eyes still on her, probably to verify that she really was going to take a seat here, “Mind if I join you?” 

“Yes.” 

Clarke blinked twice before she saw the teasing smile on Lexa’s lips, “You’re such a jerk.” she said, taking a seat. 

Lexa straightened up on her seat and her eyes glanced up from the computer before falling back down, “Make yourself comfortable.” she said in a distracted tone. 

After a few seconds, Clarke saw Bellamy huff and leave the room. Judging by the movement of his lips, he must have been grumbling something which the distance rendered impossible to make out for Clarke. She sighed in relief. She was about to leave when Lexa’s eyes jumped to her and the brunette's brow furrowed. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Uhm, I don’t know. I didn’t think you'd want me to stay.” Clarke stood awkwardly next to the table. 

Lexa eyed her for a few long seconds without uttering a single word. She then gestured at the chair, silently asking Clarke to sit back down, before going back to typing on her keyboard. 

The blonde teacher obliged, an involuntary smile drawing itself on her features, “I knew you liked me.” 

“Don’t push it.”

  

**_ Later that day _ **

**__ **

Clarke frowned when she heard a knock on her door. She wasn’t expecting anyone. She hurried to slip on a sweatshirt before opening the door. 

“Lexa? Are you planning on stopping by unannounced often?” 

Lexa didn’t reply. She merely thrust a box at Clarke, “You said you had insomnia.” she said in an even tone, “This helped me when I had it a year ago.” 

With that, Lexa turned on her heels and walked down the stairs. 

“Thank you!” Clarke shouted through the staircase. 

She then opened the box and saw a small bottle that looked like perfume. There was a note next to it. 

 

_This is lavender. Put some on your wrists before going to sleep. It should help._

_-Lexa_

She also saw something else in the box. She pulled it out and saw that it was a tea bag. It seemed to be an infusion. She turned the note around.

 

_The tea infusion should help too. It’s made with chamomile and natural orange flavoring, amongst other things._

_-Lexa_

She smiled down at it, finding it difficult to grasp the fact that Lexa had gone out of her way to bring her those things simply because she had casually mentioned her insomnia earlier. Her heart felt full. 

**Clarke - 7.44pm:** _Thank you. It was very kind of you._

**Lexa - 7.45pm:** _Don’t get used to it._

Clarke laughed.

 

  **Tuesday 01/16/18**

****

Clarke skipped towards Lexa's table and she dropped a cup of coffee in front of the woman. 

Lexa's eyes jumped up to meet her blue ones, “What is this for?” she gestured at the drink. 

“That is a thank you for what you gave me last night.” Clarke beamed, “It worked like a charm.” 

Lexa hummed, “Good for you.” she tentatively grabbed the cup of coffee, eyeing its content, “There’s milk in there?” she scrunched up her nose. 

“Uh...yes? I bought it in a real coffee shop since the coffee here is shit.” 

“I only drink my coffee black.” Lexa said, placing it back on the table. 

“Oh…” Clarke said, “I can go get you another one if you want. It’s not far from here.” she was already moving to do so when Lexa spoke up.

“No need.” 

Clarke paused, then nodded. After a few seconds of stretched silence, she cleared her throat, “Well, I’m going to go.” 

Lexa gave a simple hum in answer and Clarke walked back towards her table, shaking her head at herself. _How embarrassing,_ she thought. 

However, her lips turned into a bright smile when, five minutes later, she caught sight of Lexa drinking the coffee she had brought to her. Their eyes connected and Clarke gave her a satisfied smirk, to which Lexa replied with a roll of her eyes.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“Since when are you and Griffin close?” Anya asked as she took a seat in front of the French teacher. 

“We’re not close.” Lexa denied. 

“What’s this?” Anya pointed at the cup of coffee, a knowing look on her features. 

“Coffee.” 

Anya hummed, “It’s not a black coffee, though.” 

“No, it is not.” Lexa said, clicking her pen before bringing it down on her sheet of paper to prepare the students’ upcoming test. 

“You only drink your coffee black.” 

“I wanted a change.” 

“Bullshit.” Anya said, her lips pulled into a smirk, “Blondie brought it here for you and you didn’t have the heart to throw it away.” 

Lexa didn’t reply. She simply kept writing. 

“For someone who claimed to hate her guts just last week, you sure seem to care a lot about her.” 

“I’m just trying to keep a good work relationship with my colleagues.” 

“Sure, Lex.” Anya said, “Maybe I would believe you if I didn’t know any better.” she added, “I think you like Griffin.” 

Lexa scoffed, “I don't _like_ her.” 

Anya eyed her for a few seconds. She decided to drop the topic for now upon seeing the annoyed look on Lexa's face.

 

 

** Tuesday 01/23/18 **

 

 

Clarke smiled when one of her students approached her at the end of the class, “Callie, how can I help you?” 

“It’s about...it’s about Ms. Woods.”

Clarke frowned, “What about her?” she asked, glancing up while stuffing papers in her briefcase. 

“She's your friend, right?” 

“Uh...sort of?” 

The student stopped for a second before speaking again, “Is she always this…” she stopped to think of which word to use, “...intense?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“She just gives us a lot of work and always expects us to be super attentive in class.” 

Clarke hummed, “And you want me to talk to her about it?” the student nodded in answer, “We're not exactly the closest…” 

“But we’ve seen you two talk.” the student argued, “Please. We don’t know who else to ask.” 

“Why don’t you speak of that with Lex-, uhm _, Ms. Woods_ herself?” 

“Cause she's scary.” the student’s eyes widened. 

Clarke laughed and nodded as she finished clearing the desk of her supplies, “I’ll see what I can do.” 

“Thank you.” the student said before walking out of the classroom.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“Lexa, wait!” Clarke ran after her colleague whom she could see was walking fast towards her car. _Who walks that fast?_ she wondered as she stopped to catch her breath. 

Lexa stopped in her steps and slowly turned around, her hand closed around the strap of her messenger bag, “Yes?” she raised a perfect eyebrow. 

Clarke held up one finger as she put one of her hands on her thigh and breathed heavily, “I chased you...all the way from my classroom...” she said in between breaths, “How do you walk so fast?” 

“I happen to believe I walk slowly.” 

Clarke huffed in indignation, “Yeah, right. As slowly as a freaking cheetah.” 

“Did you need something?” 

Clarke nodded and gestured towards her car with her head, “Can we talk for a bit?” 

“What about?” 

“School related stuff.” Clarke said, “It’s about your students.” 

Lexa's face turned even more serious than before, if that was even possible, “What about them?” she asked, concern for her students clear in her voice. 

“Can we speak about this in my car? It will be more quiet.” she gestured at all the students filing out of the building. 

Lexa squinted her eyes, “I don’t know if I trust you not to kidnap me.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “As if.” she laughed, “Besides, you would probably kick my ass if I ever tried.” 

“I would.” Lexa confirmed. 

“So? Can we go?” 

Lexa shrugged and started walking towards the car. She waited for Clarke to unlock the door before climbing inside, “It smells funny.” she said. 

Clarke blushed, “It’s from my lunch earlier. I ate in the car.” 

“That’s sad.” 

“The seats are comfortable!” Clarke tried to defend herself. 

“Still sad.” 

Clarke moved in her seat to find a comfortable position to sit. She gave up after a few seconds and just slumped against the seat. 

“You need to cut your students some slack.” she opted for being direct, sensing that Lexa most likely wouldn’t enjoy her beating around the bush. 

Lexa's posture became rigid, well, even more so than before and the woman clasped her hands together in her lap, “I fail to understand.” 

“They are under a lot of pressure.” Clarke continued, “And you give them huge assignments to accomplish in very little time. Maybe if you-” 

“Do not tell me how to do my job.” Lexa instantly got on the defensive, “I don’t know where you got that information from but-” 

“It was one of your students actually.” 

Lexa stayed silent for a few seconds. 

“They're tired.” Clarke continued, “And you expect them to be extra focused in class but how can they be when teachers keep acting like their class matters the most?” 

“Are you implying my class doesn’t matter?” 

“No.” Clarke sighed, “You misinterpreted my words.” 

“Oh, I did now?” 

Clarke huffed, “What’s with that attitude? It’s not my fault you don’t take your students’ opinions into consideration.” 

Lexa scoffed and her hand moved to grab the door handle, “Well, thank you for your concern but I will lead my class the way I want to. If students have any issues, I would gladly talk about it with _them._ I don’t see how this involves you. _”_

“They're scared of you!” Clarke said, frustrated, “Why do you think they asked for my help?” 

“I’ll talk with them tomorrow but don’t ever tell me how to do my job.” Lexa said before leaving the car and walking towards the bus stop. 

Clarke sighed. _Back to square one,_ she thought to herself, _and here I thought we were making progress._

****

****

\------------

 

 

“Wow.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

Anya looked at her incredulously, “I can’t believe you destroyed all the progress you two had made over the past week in just a few seconds.” 

“Me?” 

“Yes, you.” 

“She criticized my way of working!” Lexa insisted, “This wasn’t her place at all.” 

“I agree with you that she should have stayed out of it but she didn't have much of a choice when students specifically came to her for help.” 

“But why? Why did they feel the need to go talk to her and not to me?” 

Anya's eyes lit up with understanding, “So that's where all that pent up anger comes from.” she smirked, “You’re jealous that students trusted her more to fix the problem.” 

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose, “I just don’t want students to feel like they can’t talk to me.” she admitted, “Is this such a bad thing to wish for?” 

Anya shook her head. 

“I’m not angry at her.” Lexa concluded, “I’m angry at myself for causing students to be afraid to tell me things.” 

“You should tell her that.” 

“She probably doesn’t want to hear from me right now.” 

Anya snatched her phone away from her hand, pressed the call button and thrust the phone at Lexa when it rang. 

“What are you doing. She won’t even pick up the pho-” 

_“If you're calling to tell me that I overstepped my boundaries, I know and I don’t want to argue anymore. I’m tired of it.”_

Lexa's mouth opened and closed, then she swiftly grabbed the phone, walked to the bedroom, and locked herself in it. 

“I overreacted. I take full responsibility for what occurred in your car.” she calmly said, though her heart was beating inexplicably fast. 

_“Are we ever going to stop arguing over stupid things?”_

Lexa bit her lip guiltily. She clenched her eyes, “It’s my fault if we can't get along. I’m sorry.” 

_“Stop apologizing, Lexa.”_ Clarke said, _“It wasn’t my business and I should have stayed out of it. I’m sure you're an amazing teacher, I just…”_

“Want students to feel as comfortable as possible.” Lexa completed for her, “That’s understandable.” 

_“So...are we good?”_

Lexa nodded before realizing Clarke couldn’t see her, “Yeah, we are.” 

_“I’m sorry I implied you weren’t doing your job properly. That was so wrong of me.”_

Lexa breathed out a sigh, “You were just looking out for students. I’ve only been here two weeks. You obviously know them better so I should have listened to you.” 

_“No, Lexa. I don't want you to change your ways entirely just because of what I said. Maybe just...slow down a little?”_

“I will.” she pondered her next words, choosing them carefully, “Griffin?” she received a hum, “Why are students scared of talking to me?” 

A few beats of silence passed, _“Because you look like you'd snap a person’s neck if they breathed too close to you.”_

Lexa rolled her eyes, “I fail to understand what people find so threatening.” 

_“It’s in the eyes.”_ Clarke laughed, _“You look at people very intensely sometimes. Almost like you're trying to kill them with one stare.”_

“I don’t look at students like that.” 

_“Maybe you don’t realize you're doing it.”_

“Only when they clearly don’t make any efforts. Of course, I’m going to be annoyed if they don’t get something right after I explained it five times!” 

Clarke laughed, _“Hey, hate the message, not the messenger.”_ she joked, _“I’m just saying, with the way you sometimes look at people, I too would be scared of you if I was a student.”_

“Are you saying you’re not scared of me?” 

_“Uh...elaborate your question.”_

“I scare you?” Lexa's voice was small, tentative even. 

Clarke scoffed, _“No.”_ she said very quietly, _“Well...only slightly.”_

Lexa frowned, “I don't get it.” 

_“You scare the crap out of people, Lexa. It’s like we could offend you at any moment and you would decide to make us regret it for the rest of our lives.”_

“Do you really think I’m that much of a vengeful asshole?” 

_“No.”_ Clarke truthfully said, _“But those are the vibes you give off.”_

Lexa thought for a second, “Then teach me.” 

_“What?”_

“Teach me how to be social.” 

_“I don’t think I could do that. I’m not the most-”_

“People like you.” Lexa interrupted her, “I mean, at least two teachers are into you.” 

_“Two?”_ Clarke said in a surprised tone, _“Who’s the second one?”_

Lexa's brow furrowed, “Niylah? I thought it was obvious.” 

Clarke huffed, _“Niylah's not into me.”_

“She is.” Lexa countered, “It’s painfully obvious, actually.” 

_“You’re making this up. I think I would have noticed if it was the case.”_

“Think what you want but I know what I saw.” Lexa said with finality. 

_“Why do you care so much about my love life anyway?”_ the smirk could be heard in Clarke's voice. 

“I do not care about it, Griffin. I’m just very observant, as opposed to you, apparently.” 

Lexa heard a huff of indignation and smiled to herself. 

_“I am very observant.”_ Clarke argued, _“You’re just seeing things that aren’t there.”_

“Sure, Griffin.” 

_“Niylah isn’t into me.”_

“If you say so.” 

_“I can feel you mocking me. Stop this.”_

“I’m doing no such thing. It seems you are the one seeing things that aren’t there.” 

_“Don’t use my words against me.”_

“Or what?”

Lexa didn’t get to hear Clarke's reply because Anya knocked on the bedroom door, “Lex, get ready. We're going out tonight with Luna and Linc” 

_“Who was that?”_ Clarke asked. 

“Anya. I have to go. Bye, Griffin.” 

_“Wait, wha-”_

Lexa hung up the phone. A brief laugh escaped her lips when she pictured the look that Clarke must be wearing right now. 

“I’m coming!” she said to Anya before pushing herself off the bed, grabbing her leather jacket on her way. 

“That’s what she said.” Anya joked and it earned her an eye roll. 

“Very funny, Anya.” Lexa shrugged on her jacket, “Remind me why I’m friends with you?” 

“Because you love me and your life would be boring if I wasn't in it.” 

“Right.” Lexa smirked and shoved Anya towards the exit, “Now hurry up, dipshit, or else it’ll be your fault if we’re late.” 

“Okay, mom.” Anya locked the door behind them.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Lincoln nudged Lexa's shoulder, “What’s on your mind?” he asked. 

She raised one shoulder as she brought her glass to her lips, “Nothing. Just the stress of the job, I guess.” 

He hummed, “Is it really that stressful? Anya never said so but we all know she never shows it when something worries her.” 

“Make me sound like an emotionless robot, why don’t ya?” Anya said. 

“You said it, not me.” Lincoln grinned. 

Anya snapped her fingers in front of Lexa's face who was once again distracted. 

“What’s got your attention like that?” she followed Lexa's line of sight only to realize that the woman wasn’t really looking at anything in particular, more lost in her thoughts than anything. 

“It’s nothing” Lexa waved her hand dismissively, “Why don’t you tell us what you’ve been up to, Linc?” she asked her step-brother. 

“I see how you're trying to change the topic but I’m going to let you because I really have to tell you about the new intern.” he rolled his eyes upon mentioning him, “He is _terrible_.” 

Lexa tried her best to focus all her attention on her step-brother but the repetitive buzzing of her phone in her pocket was distracting her. She discreetly fished the device out of her pocket and with a furtive glance at the screen, saw Clarke's name. 

Intrigued, she unlocked her phone and started reading the texts, without noticing that Lincoln had stopped speaking and was now eyeing her questioningly, looking to the side at Anya and Luna with a raised eyebrow. 

**Clarke - 7.12pm:** _Helloo yoi_

_Wabt to hang oit somztimr_

**Clarke - 7.12pm:** _Im soo funny_

Lexa frowned. 

**Lexa - 7.12pm:** _You’re drunk._

**Clarke - 7.13pm:** _I’m not. Raven is. And apparently her new drunken hobby is to text random people from my contact list. It landed on you. I apologize_

**Lexa - 7.14pm:** _It is fine. Have a good evening._

**Clarke - 7.14pm:** _You too, Lexa_ :) 

“Who are you texting?” Anya appeared from behind her, looking over her shoulder, “Clarke, huh? Interesting.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Lexa asked. 

“Nothing.” 

“You’re lying.” 

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Who knows?” 

Lexa rolled her eyes at her best friend and took a gulp of her drink, “You’re being ridiculous.” 

“I’m not the one who has a crush on a colleague.” 

“I don’t have a _crush_ on her.” Lexa said, doing air quotes with her fingers, “Will you please drop it?” 

Anya sighed, “Okay, fine.” 

“Thank you.” 

“What does this _Clarke_ look like?” Lincoln asked, curious, ignoring the daggers Lexa was throwing at him with her eyes for having restarted the former topic of conversation. Luna sent the brunette an apologetic and sympathetic smile. 

Anya searched through the pictures in her gallery of photos and smiled when she found last year’s teachers photo, “The blonde one.” she zoomed in on the picture and turned the phone around. 

“She’s very pretty.” Lincoln commented, “And totally your type.” he then told Lexa who huffed. 

“I don't have a type.” 

“You kind of do.” Anya countered. 

Lexa didn’t bother answering. Or rather, her attention was brought elsewhere when three people walked into the bar. _Seriously?_ she asked herself when she recognized one was none other than Clarke Griffin. 

“What are you looking at?” Anya asked and Lexa tried to keep her from seeing Clarke but it was too late, “Oh! Speak of the devil.” 

Lincoln smiled, “She’s definitely your type.” he laughed when Lexa glared at him. 

“Shut up, you two.” 

She dipped her head, hoping that Clarke wouldn’t notice her. 

Tough luck. 

“Lexa?” 

She raised her head and plastered a small smile on her face, “Griffin, hello.” she said before turning back around to chug down the remainder of her drink. 

“Anya.” Clarke acknowledged with a nod, “And…?” 

“Luna” the woman smiled. 

“And I’m Lincoln, this one’s step-brother.” the man offered his hand and Clarke shook it, “It’s nice to meet you. Lexa has been mentioning you a few times.” he smirked. 

“I haven’t.” Lexa grumbled, “You’re just being annoying.” 

Clarke smiled, a bit confused, “Well, I should get back there before Raven breaks anything. It was nice meeting you, Lincoln. You too, Luna.” 

Lexa tensed when Clarke placed a hand on her shoulder and the blonde instantly retracted it. 

“See you at school tomorrow?” 

Lexa nodded, still not looking at her, “Yes.” is all she gave as an answer. 

Clarke frowned but didn’t comment any further. She merely joined her friends back at their table, seeing from the corner of her eye how Anya slapped Lexa's arm. 

“What the fuck was that?” Anya asked. 

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t know what you're talking about.” 

Anya rolled her eyes, “You know exactly what I’m talking about. She was just coming by to say hi. There was no need to be so cold towards her.” 

“I wasn’t _cold.”_ Lexa argued. 

“You kinda were.” Lincoln chimed in. 

“I thought tonight would be fun.” Lexa complained, “I’m going back home.” she grabbed her jacket and hurriedly left the building. 

Anya was about to leave her seat but Luna put a hand on her shoulder, “Don’t. She’ll be fine.”

Someone else who had noticed Lexa's outburst was Clarke. To be fair, she had been watching Lexa from afar when it happened. In a totally non-creepy and non stalker-ish way. 

She stepped outside in the freezing cold and saw her colleague seated on a small retaining wall next to the building. Slowly, she approached. 

The sound of her shoes scraping against the concrete caused Lexa to look up. A sigh pushed past plump lips, “What are you doing here?” 

“Are you alright?” Clarke ignored the question and countered with one of her own. She received a shrug in answer. She pointed at the space beside Lexa, “Can I sit?” 

“You can.” Lexa said quietly, “I don’t know why you would want to but whatever.” 

The wall wasn’t very big so they were sitting close to each other, their legs and shoulders touching, “You know, if you want to talk about it…” Clarke trailed off, “I know I’m not your first choice but...you know.” she shrugged, not really knowing how to finish her thought. 

Lexa stared at her for a few, excruciatingly long seconds, “My best friend and my brother are being annoying.” 

“How so?” Clarke asked in a quiet voice. 

“They keep pushing for things that will not happen and I’m tired.” 

Clarke nodded in understanding, “Raven is the same. I mean, she means well, but she’s been trying to set me up with people for the last four months.” 

“Eight months.” Lexa concurred, “And still going.” 

“You’ve been single for eight months?” Clarke asked. 

“Ten.” Lexa corrected, “They only started being annoying after the first couple months.” 

“Well, at least I know I’m not the only one whose friends are a pain in the ass.” Clarke said, nudging Lexa's shoulder. An almost invisible smile appeared on Lexa’s face and Clarke beamed, “Oh, so she can smile.” she joked. 

Lexa huffed, “Of course I can smile, Griffin. I just don’t see a reason to when all the people I work with are boring.” 

“Everyone?” 

Lexa stayed silent for a few beats before her voice cut through the quiet of the night, “Not everyone,” she paused. Her eyes flicked up to meet blue ones, “not you.” 

Clarke's lips fell open and she couldn’t tear her gaze away from those enticing green eyes.

“Hey, Claaaarkey!” a loud yell startled them both and Clarke nearly fell from the wall she was sitting on, “There you are.” Raven stumbled towards her, “I’ve been looking for youu.” she slurred. 

The English Lit. teacher sighed and jumped off the wall, “Sorry.” she told Lexa who shook her head to indicate that it was fine, “It was nice talking with you like that.” 

Lexa nodded and pursed her lips together, “Yes, it was.” she offered a tight-lipped smile. 

Lexa watched Clarke until the blonde disappeared inside with Raven. She then let her head drop into her hands and a heavy sigh left her lips, “What the fuck?” she mumbled into her hands. 

She caught the first bus and headed back home, spending the whole way wondering what it was about Clarke that made her feel so powerless, that made her feel like she was losing the control she usually had over things.

 

 


	3. "You like me, Woods."

 

 

**_Wednesday, the 24th of January_ **

 

Lexa pursed her lips when once again, she heard the usual chattering noise coming from the back of the classroom. 

“Collins!” she slammed her hand against the desk, calling the boy’s name for the third time since the beginning of class, “That's enough. Get out of my class.” 

The teenager smirked and slung his backpack over his shoulder, “Of course, Ms. Woods” he unabashedly winked at her on his way out. 

Lexa's glare didn’t disappear until after the teenage boy was outside, “And do not delude yourself, that I won’t hesitate to throw each and every one of you out if needed.” 

The students visibly gulped and a few snickers were heard in the back. Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“Miller. One more word and you're out.” 

“Word.” Miller challengingly said. 

Lexa sighed. This had been going on for a week. Because she had the reputation to be more strict than the other teachers, some of her students got into their heads to try and see how far they could push her buttons before she snapped, “Out.” she simply said, calmly pointing towards the exit, “And your friends can follow after you since they think it is so funny.” 

“What!?” one of them, whose name she believed to be Bryan, exclaimed, “We haven’t done anything.” 

“Don’t try this with me. You might have it easy with other teachers but I won’t allow this behavior in my class.” she warned, “Now, get out or we'll all have a nice chat with the principal about your behavioral problems.” 

“Bitch.” Miller mumbled on his way out. 

“Congratulations, Mr Miller. You just earned yourself two hours of detention. I hope you didn't have plans this afternoon.” 

Once all the troublemakers were out of the class, Lexa dropped down on her chair and buried her face in her hands. 

“Miss?” a girl called from the back row. 

“Yes, Sara?” Lexa lifted her head to look at her. 

“I just wanted to say that they deserved that.” the girl stated, “We all hate the way they behave as if they can do anything and it’ll go unpunished.” 

Her words were supported by noises of agreement among the other students. Lexa smiled slightly, “Thank you. I appreciate it.” she nodded in thanks, “Now, let’s get back to the lesson.” she instructed, “Who can read the first question?”

 

 

\------------

 

 

“You don’t look too good.” 

Lexa raised her head and caught sight of blue eyes, looking down at her with a hint of concern in them. She didn’t reply and simply went back to typing on her computer. 

“Do you ever stop working?” 

“Not really.” Lexa answered. 

“Something is bothering you.” Clarke stated. It wasn’t a question. It was merely a fact, one observable from the way Lexa's brow was creased in deep thought and maybe, a little bit of frustration. 

“I didn’t know you were so good at reading people's emotions. Maybe you missed your true calling.” 

“What’s wrong?” Clarke asked, taking a seat in front of her despite the raised eyebrow it got her in return. 

“I don’t see how telling you would change anything.” Lexa reasoned, “You don’t want to deal with my problems.” 

“Maybe I want to help.” Clarke shrugged, “If I can.” 

“It’s just some students.” Lexa revealed, “Not a big deal.” she remained evasive in spite of Clarke's inquisitive stare. 

“Let me guess, Collins and his group?” 

Lexa's eyes snapped up, “How did you…?” 

Clarke smiled, “When I started here a year and a half ago, they did everything to ensure my first year was as difficult to go through as possible.” 

Lexa sighed. Clearly those teenagers had no sense of respect for authority and that lack of respect probably extended to fellow students. 

“Collins is the leader.” Clarke said, “Wherever he goes, they follow. Just like a group of sheep, needing a shepherd to guide them and show them what to do.” she compared, “They would be lost without him.” 

“So basically, if I get Collins to calm down, the others will follow?” 

“Most likely.” Clarke nodded. 

“How did you get them to stop disturbing your lessons?” 

“I didn’t.” Clarke admitted, “I just learned how to deal with it. I’m not in my first year anymore and I’m not afraid to take the appropriate punitive measures if I deem it necessary.” 

“I had to throw his entire group out this morning because of how undisciplined they were being.” 

“Good. If you don’t start handing sanctions, they’ll think they can get away with anything.” 

Lexa looked down at her computer, “Other students supported my decision.” she revealed, “It felt nice.” 

“Students here are great in general.” Clarke said with a smile, “If you take out the few who like to stir up drama, these kids are really cool and enthusiastic most of the time.” 

“I see that.” Lexa agreed. 

In one swift movement, Clarke put her hand on top of Lexa’s. She retracted it instantly, however, when she saw the brunette's raised eyebrow. 

She spoke her next words with red cheeks, holding her hand with the other one to keep herself from reaching out again, “You’re doing a good job with those kids.” 

“It doesn’t feel like it.” Lexa argued, “Everyday I have to throw one out because of their behavior.” she sighed, “I’m starting to think the problem comes from me.” 

“It does not.” Clarke said in an assured tone, “I asked myself the same question when I started teaching but eventually, I realized some students simply do not know how to behave with discipline. Sometimes they deserve whatever sanction you give them.” 

Lexa sighed and closed the lid of her computer. She leaned her elbows on the table and massaged her temples with her index fingers. 

“It’s hard at first but it’ll get easier.” 

“I hope so.” Lexa mumbled. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply before opening them again, “I won’t bother you with my issues any longer.” she got up after placing her laptop in her bag, “Have a good day.” she added in a clipped tone before walking out of the room. 

“You too…” Clarke quietly said to no one because Lexa had already left.

 

 

**_Thursday, the 25th of January_ **

 

 

“Ms. Woods” an older teacher approached her and Lexa's eyes widened when she identified him. _Charles Pike,_ “Fancy seeing you here.” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “Seeing me where? At school? This is where I work.” she pointed out. 

His smile faltered, “Right.” he said, “Have I ever told you about my time in the army?” he hurried to change the topic. 

“Oh so she wasn’t kidding.” Lexa thought out loud, remembering how Clarke had warned her that it was all the man talked about. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Lexa said, “I have to go now.” she didn’t wait for a reply and left, leaving the man confused and at loss for words. 

She bumped into someone on her way out and quickly apologized before realizing who it was. 

“We have got to stop doing that.” Clarke grinned, “Why such a hurry? Who are you running away from?” she looked behind Lexa and saw Pike, “Ah, yes. Makes sense now.” 

“He’s worse than you described him.” Lexa said before moving past Clarke and walking towards her classroom. 

“....Bye?” Clarke said, brow furrowed. She spotted Anya in the distance and approached her cautiously, “Anya?” 

Anya squinted her eyes at her, “What did Lexa do this time?” she questioned. 

Clarke faltered in her steps, “Um…nothing.” she answered, “Why would you think she did something?” 

“Cause she has a habit of being a tiny bit too honest for her own good.” Anya said. 

“Right. Well, she hasn't said anything offensive lately. I just wanted to ask you something.” 

“Sure.” Anya unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite out of it. 

“Does Lexa hate me?” 

Anya swallowed down her food and smiled before laughing to herself. 

“What? What’s funny?” Clarke asked, confused, “Are you making fun of me?” 

Anya shook her head, “I just don’t understand what led you to think she hates you.” 

Clarke shrugged, “She’s kind of cold towards me. Like, sometimes I feel like she's opening up but the next second, she closes in on herself and barely speaks two words to me.” 

“That’s just how she is.” Anya shrugged, taking another bite of her lunch, “If you expect her to be cheery and joyful, I’m afraid you're going to be disappointed.” 

“I wasn’t expecting that much. Just a bit more enthusiasm.” 

“Lexa and enthusiasm don’t really go together.” Anya remarked, “But rest assured, she doesn’t actually hate you.” 

“Good.” Clarke smiled, then frowned, lost in thought, “Also...I’m not really in a position where I can help her with that but I think she needs help with adapting to the school. Obviously, you're closer to her than I am.” 

“Thanks for the concern, Clarke, but I think she can handle things just fine without needing someone to show her around.” 

“I know.” Clarke hurried to say, “I just thought…” 

“I’m just messing with you, Griffin.” Anya said with a smile, “I’ll ask her if she wants some help.” 

“Thanks.” Clarke smiled before heading towards her classroom to finish grading some papers. 

She frowned when she opened the door and saw Lexa sitting at her desk. The brunette's head snapped up and a similar confused look appeared on her features. 

“What are-” 

“Did y-” 

They both spoke at the same time. 

“You first.” Clarke said. 

“Did you need something?” Lexa repeated. 

Clarke looked around, a crease still present between her brow, “This is my classroom.” she pointed out. 

Lexa frowned. She looked at her paper slip and then at the number on the door, “It is written here that I’m teaching in this classroom for the next two hours.” she put the tip of her index on the schedule paper sheet. 

Clarke moved closer, behind Lexa, and she leaned forward to take a look at the paper sheet. 

The brunette blushed slightly when she felt the woman's chest pressed against her back, “S-see?” she stuttered out, “I’m teaching here.” 

Clarke hummed and moved away, and finally Lexa could breathe normally again, “My mistake, then.” Clarke said, “It’s weird because I’ve been teaching here every Thursday since the beginning of the year.” 

Lexa cleared her throat, willing the reddening of her cheeks to disappear, “Maybe they messed up the schedule.” she slightly waved the paper slip in the air, “I’ll ask.” she stood up and left the room. 

Clarke dropped on the chair and checked her watch. Fifteen minutes before next period. She waited eight minutes before Lexa walked back inside. 

“They got it wrong.” Lexa said, picking up her bag, “I’m actually teaching in the classroom across the hall.” 

Clarke tried to come up with something to say but all she could think of doing was giving a nod of acknowledgement, “See you later?” she asked quietly, not even expecting a reply. 

“Sure.” Lexa said before walking out. 

Clarke breathed out a sigh. Her relationship with Lexa confused her to no end. She had always been good at figuring people out and at socializing in general but for some reason, she could never read Lexa's feelings. The woman seemed to shield herself with unbreakable walls that left no possibility to catch a glimpse of her true self. She was fairly certain that there was much more to the woman than the few things she allowed people to see. She wanted to figure Lexa out. She wanted to see the woman for who she really was and not just for the slim part of her that she let people see.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Finn snickered when he watched Ms.Woods lock the classroom door behind her. He slapped his friend’s arm, “Hey, watch this.” he told him. 

As soon as Lexa turned around to leave, his loud voice rang through the hallway. 

“Nice ass, Ms.Woods!” 

Lexa turned on her heels faster than ever and she strode towards him with such anger that the boy's smile instantly dropped from his face, replaced by an expression of sheer horror, the color having drained from his face. 

“Follow me, Collins.” she commanded. Seeing that the boy wasn’t moving, she rolled her eyes, “Follow me. Now.” 

He gulped and hesitantly followed after her with slow, scared steps. He didn’t look nearly as confident as he did a few seconds ago. 

His friend uselessly watched Finn being escorted towards the principal’s office, eyes wide and jaw hanging. Lexa refrained from scoffing. Had they seriously thought this would end differently? 

She knocked on the principal’s door and pushed it open after being allowed entrance. 

The principal looked up and his brow creased, “Miss Woods?” his gaze then fell upon Finn, “Is something wrong?” 

Lexa gestured for Finn to take a seat which he did fairly quickly, “Yes, sir.” she calmly said, “It seems some students have an odd take on the quite simple concept that is respect.” 

The principal looked at Finn with a disapproving look and told Lexa to take a seat, “What happened?”

 

 

**_Friday, the 26th of January_ **

****

 

“Heard you got Collins temporarily expelled.” Anya said as she sat down on the chair across the table from Lexa. 

“He asked for it.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” 

Lexa buried her face in her hands, “I just don’t get it. Kids weren’t so inappropriate when I was in school.” 

Anya shrugged, “Some were.” 

“I’m gonna get a refill of coffee.” Lexa announced before getting up to head towards the coffee maker. 

She momentarily stopped in her tracks when she saw that Clarke was standing by the coffee maker. Her lips curved ever so slightly, that is until she realized she was smiling and quickly wiped the smile off her face. _What the fuck, Woods,_ she thought to herself. 

She closed the remaining distance between herself and Clarke then wordlessly filled her cup. When she moved away from the coffee maker, she knocked over a glass of water and some of it spilled on her clothes. 

“Come on.” she said, looking down at her shirt and pants, covered in water. She glared at Anya when she saw the woman laugh in the distance. 

Clarke hurried to grab some napkins and handed them to her, placing her cup of coffee on the table next to them, “Here, take this.” 

“Thanks.” Lexa said, wiping at her pants on which only a bit of the water had spilled, thankfully. 

Clarke took a tissue and started wiping at Lexa's shirt before realizing what she was doing and stopping instantly, her cheeks taking on a crimson red color. Had she looked up, she would have seen the same color on Lexa's cheeks. 

Clarke stepped back in a swift movement, “Sorry, I just...I’ll go back to-” she tried to gesture behind her but her hand knocked against the cup of coffee she had left on the table, spilling its content onto the wooden piece of furniture. 

Lexa looked up when she heard Clarke curse and her lips curled upwards. Clarke was half expecting Lexa to start making fun of her, to start teasing her like she seemed to enjoy doing, to tell her how stupid she thought she was. What she didn’t expect was for the melodious sound of the woman’s laughter to bubble out of her lips. 

And God was she screwed because Lexa’s laughter was simply _beautiful._

“Sorry.” Lexa cleared her throat after a few moments, trying to regain control of herself, “I’ll get you another cup.” 

Clarke was astounded by how quickly Lexa had switched back to her calm, detached demeanor. That woman was something else. 

She felt a pull on her arm, “Wha-” 

Niylah pulled her a bit further, “Did I imagine it or did you just make Miss _I have a stick up my butt_ laugh?” 

Clarke frowned, “Lexa doesn't have a stick up her butt.” she argued, “Is this really how people see her around here?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Niylah said, as though it was obvious, “She never smiles, let alone laugh. She never talks to anyone except Anya and she stares at everyone as if she wants to kill them. I’m telling you, that woman has a stick up her butt. And you know-” 

Niylah stopped speaking when she saw the way Clarke’s eyes widened. 

“She’s behind me, isn’t she?” 

Clarke noted the hurt look on Lexa's face but before she could even say anything, the woman placed a cup of coffee on a table and left after mumbling _‘Here's your coffee’_

“Shit.” the blonde muttered under her breath, “Seriously, Niylah?” she huffed, “Maybe Lexa isn’t as sociable as you but it doesn't mean she is uptight. What are we, twelve?” 

With that, she went to grab her bag and left the break room. She strode through the hallways, checking the numbers on each door. If she remembered correctly, Lexa's classroom was number 214, which meant it was on the second floor. 

Once she reached it, she brought her fist down on the door, knocking softly. She heard no reply but a short glance through the small window of the door allowed her to see that Lexa was in there. 

Hesitantly, she twisted the doorknob, pleased to see that the door wasn’t locked, “Lexa?” 

No reply. The woman kept her eyes on the papers on her desk. 

“Lexa.” she tried again and this time, green eyes flicked up to meet her own. 

“What are you doing here, Griffin? We wouldn't want people to know you're speaking to the woman with a stick up her ass.” 

Clarke sighed, “First off, I didn’t say that. Niylah did. Don’t put those words in my mouth when I haven't said it, not even once.” 

“But you've thought it. Not much of a difference.” 

“I haven’t.” Clarke denied, “Do you really think I see you like that?” 

Lexa shrugged and clicked her pen, bringing the tip of it down on the paper, “I don’t know, Griffin. People don’t exactly tend to be honest.” 

Clarke shook her head, “Well, I’ve been nothing but honest to you since we met. I don’t believe you have a stick up your ass. I think you just don’t want to waste your time on people who aren’t worth it.” 

“Not everyone sees it that way.” 

“Are you...are you upset by what Niylah said?” Clarke took a tentative step forward. 

Lexa scoffed, “I’m not upset by it. We’re not in high school anymore. I couldn’t care less what others think of me. I just wish she had the guts to say it to my face.” 

“Technically we _are_ in high school.” Clarke smirked, “Being high school teachers and all.” 

Lexa couldn’t fight off the smile that grew on her face, “You’re an idiot.” 

“You like me, Woods.” 

Lexa shook her head, “I don’t. I hate you.” 

Clarke grinned, sensing the sarcasm and teasing in Lexa’s voice, “Don’t worry, I hate you too.” 

The tiniest smile blossomed on Lexa's face and Clarke’s heart missed a beat upon seeing it. It wasn’t the kind of smile she sported whenever she spoke with Anya. This smile was small, tentative even. It seemed to be reserved for Clarke only and it caused warmth to erupt in the blonde's chest. 

She tried to mask her growing smile and cleared her throat, the tip of her ears pinkening, “So, you’re okay, right?” 

“More than okay.” Lexa replied, eyes focused on the way Clarke's fingers nervously toyed with the button of her sleeve, “Are you nervous, Griffin?” she smirked. 

God, how much Clarke lik- _uh_ , _hated_ that smirk, “N-no.” she stuttered out, her cheeks turning a deep shade of red, “I should go back there.” she blindly gestured behind her. 

Lexa nodded, an amused smile on her lips which Clarke couldn’t even be mad about because it was such a rare sight to see Lexa smile. A certain feeling of pride swelled in her chest at the thought that she was, voluntarily or not, the reason behind that smile. 

“Bye.” Clarke rushed out before dashing out of the room, almost bumping into a student on her way out. 

Lexa stared at the space previously occupied by Clarke and the smile grew on her features. She then shook her head and focused back on her work. 

 

 

**_Monday, the 29th of January_ **

****

****

The principal clapped his hands to gather people’s attention. Students and teachers had been gathered in the main hall to discuss the upcoming field trip. Lexa placed herself in the back, hands linked together in front of her as she watched the principal intently. She already knew what the trip consisted of, having been briefed by the principal even before being accepted for the job. To her, it was simply a matter of respect to remain quiet and attentive during a speech. 

“I know you are all excited about this.” The principal started, “But please, stay quiet until I have finished speaking. Afterwards you will be allowed to ask all the questions you have.” 

He then proceeded to talk about the conduct of the project. The following week, the junior and senior year students would fly to the town of Breckenridge, Colorado, for a ski vacation. 

Cheers erupted among the students as well as some groans from students who were most likely expecting another destination. 

Lexa saw someone approach in her peripheral vision and turned her head to see happy blue eyes looking back at her, the woman stopping only a foot away from her. 

“So, excited?” 

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t know yet. Depends.” 

“On what?” 

“On how the students behave.” Lexa briefly looked at her, “This better be somewhat relaxing for us too because I don’t want to spend the whole trip babysitting teenagers.” 

Clarke laughed, “I’m afraid you’re setting your hopes too high if you think this will be relaxing for us. Students have a tendency to break the rules as often as possible. Especially when it comes to alcohol.” 

Lexa groaned, “Really?” 

Clarke smiled sympathetically, “Then again, I’ve only done it once. Maybe this year, they will be more well-behaved.” 

“I doubt such a drastic change could occur in the span of a year. If anything, it could be even worse.” 

Clarke bumped her shoulder against Lexa's, “Come on, Woods, don’t be such a pessimist.” 

“I call it being realistic. If you don’t get your hopes up, you can’t be disappointed. You're the one who just told me not to set my expectations too high.” she reasoned. 

“While that is great logic, it’s also a very sad way to see things.” Clarke commented, “Life is made to take risks sometimes, even if it can lead to disappointment later.” 

“I don’t think putting my trust in teenagers can be considered _a risk._ ” 

“I was speaking in general.” Clarke smiled, “You really like having the last word, don’t you?” 

Lexa shrugged, “As if you don't.” 

“I think everybody does.” 

“Then you just answered your own question.” 

“But you more than the others.” Clarke finished. 

“Is there something wrong with wanting to have the last word, Griffin?” Lexa turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised. 

Clarke grinned, “Not really. I just think it’s funny how much you want to be right all the time.” 

“I _am_ right all the time.” 

Clarke laughed, “Of course, I forgot. Pardon me.” 

“You are forgiven.” Lexa said, a glint of amusement in her eyes. 

Clarke gave her a smile before they both refocused their attention on the principal who was ending his speech. 

“Each group will occupy one floor of the hotel to avoid ruckus during the night and the supervising teachers will be sleeping on the same floor, obviously. For any supplementary information, you can contact the teachers that are assigned to your group. Listen carefully in which group you are because I won’t repeat it.” 

Students quieted down and were now attentive, eager to know with whom they would spend most of the trip. 

“Group A: John Murphy, Emori Rogers…” he started listing off the names, “You will be with Mr Pike and Mrs Queen.” 

Clarke winced, “Damn, no fun for those students.” 

“Mrs Queen?” Lexa repeated, still not acquainted to all the teachers’ names. 

Clarke nodded, “Tall, blonde, scary as hell. I told you about her when you asked me which teachers you should avoid speaking to.” 

“Ah, yes. I remember.” Lexa nodded, “Good thing those two teachers were paired together and not with one of us.” 

Clarke hummed. 

The principal continued going through the list, “....You will be group B and you will go with Mr Blake” 

“He’s not paired up with another teacher?” 

Clarke shook her head, “Not enough teachers volunteered and he insisted he could take care of a big group by himself.” 

“Can he?” 

The English Lit. teacher shrugged, “No idea. He’s not stupid, though. He knows he can’t fuck this up so he’ll be extra careful.” 

Lexa winced when the principal spoke too close to the mic and it made a shrieking sound, “Sorry.” he apologized, “Group C will be supervised by Miss Griffin and Miss Woods.” 

Lexa and Clarke looked at each other. Clarke wore a satisfied smile and Lexa merely raised an eyebrow, “Looks like we’ll see even more of each other.” 

Her voice was steady but didn’t have any undertones of disappointment so Clarke replied with a bright smile, “Can’t wait.” the blonde said. 

Anya and Niylah were announced as the last group and Lexa breathed in relief when she realized she had dodged quite a few bullets here by being paired up with Clarke, considering she could have been placed with Bellamy, Niylah, Nia or Charles. Bellamy might have tried something with her and she wasn't willing to deal with that, Niylah thought she had a stick up her ass so that probably wouldn’t go well either. As for Nia and Charles, they were just plain unlikeable. 

“Please, don’t look so excited about it.” Clarke playfully nudged her shoulder. 

Lexa smiled ever so slightly, “I’m glad I ended up with you, if I’m entirely honest.” she admitted. 

“Really?” blue eyes widened slightly. 

“I mean, except for Anya, I don’t really get along with the other teachers.” 

Clarke's eyes flashed with something akin to disappointment, “Oh...yeah, of course.” she laughed but it sounded fake, even to her own ears, “I’m the lesser evil, right?” 

Lexa frowned, “That’s not what I meant. I phrased it the wrong way.” she said, looking straight ahead, “I meant that I am happy to do this with you, Clarke.” she tore her gaze away from the students and chanced a glance at her colleague. 

She watched as a smile grew on pink lips and she told herself that maybe, it wasn’t so bad to let her walls down for a bit if it meant she could make Clarke smile like this. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she mentally berated herself, shaking her head almost imperceptibly. 

The last time she had let someone through, that person had used it to hurt her even more greatly. Lexa had always been closed off, for the simple reason that it is harder for people to hurt you if they can’t figure out what your weak spots are. 

Clarke was different. Something about her, which Lexa couldn’t identify, generated a feeling of trust and ease in the brunette. She couldn’t shake this feeling away and it frustrated her because she had no idea where it even came from. She wasn’t usually one to let herself feel. 

 “We have the furthest room.” Clarke told her, “Which means we’ll get a bit of quiet.” 

“Room?” Lexa asked, “Only one?” 

Clarke smiled apologetically, “Yeah...The budget didn’t allow for us to book separate rooms for teachers.” she explained, “But if you mind it too much, we can probably figure something out.” 

Lexa felt an unfamiliar warmth spread through her chest at Clarke’s thoughtfulness, “It won’t be necessary. I think I can handle spending a few nights with you.” 

“What a humble sacrifice.” Clarke joked, her hand placed against her chest. 

Lexa grinned, “I know. What would you do without me?” 

Clarke laughed loudly. 

Neither of them noticed the small group of students staring at them with curious and interested eyes, wondering how close exactly their two teachers were. 

Gossip spreads fast within the walls of a school and it would be delusional to think teachers are spared from said gossip. There are just as many rumors about teachers as they are about students. And right now, the main topic on student’s mouth was the budding friendship between their kind, cheerful English Lit. teacher and their closed off yet fiercely dedicated French teacher. 

“You think Miss Griffin is into her?” Lucy, one of the students, asked. 

“What?” another student chimed in, “Isn’t Miss Griffin straight?” 

Three of the girls looked at him, shaking their heads, “She’s at least bisexual.” one of them said, “Trust me, I have a sixth sense when it comes to that.” 

“If you say so.” the boy, whose name was Alex, raised his hands in surrender, “What about Miss Woods? Surely she can’t also be into girls.” 

“Why not?” Lucy asked, “She could totally be. Also, look at the way she looks at Miss Griffin.” she subtly nodded towards the pair of teachers who were still chatting quietly in the back, “Have you ever seen her look at anyone like that?” 

The boy shrugged, “I don’t pay that much attention. I still don’t think they're into each other, though.” 

“I bet you ten bucks that, by the end of the trip, I can prove that Miss Griffin is into Miss Woods.” Lucy announced, holding her hand up for a handshake. 

Alex grinned, “Alright.” he shook her hand, “Prepare the money because you’ll owe me ten bucks.” 

“You're awfully confident for someone who's about to lose ten dollars.” Lucy retorted with a smirk, “I’ll see you guys after class.” she said before getting up to leave. 

Clarke watched as students started filing out of the room and she nodded towards the exit, “We should probably go.” 

Lexa offered a small nod and wordlessly followed after the blonde, careful to not bump into any students on her way out.

 

**_Monday, the 5th of February_ **

****

****

Clarke huffed after loading the last suitcase into the baggage compartment of the coach that would drive the students and teachers to the nearest airport. 

“You could have helped.” she accused, glaring at Lexa who had spent a good part of the last ten minutes watching her struggle. 

“It wouldn't have been as fun.” Lexa retorted with a smirk. 

Clarke scoffed, “I hate you.” 

Lexa smiled, that kind of soft smile that only Clarke was on the receiving end of, the kind that caused butterflies to erupt in the blonde's stomach. 

“I hate you too.” Lexa said in a quiet tone, her smile firmly in place. She then helped close the baggage compartment, “And ready to go.” she announced with a proud smile. 

“The hell you’re smiling for? You did nothing for ten whole minutes.” 

“It was very nice to watch you work.” Lexa teased her. 

“I bet it was.” Clarke rolled her eyes and a wide smile drew itself on her features before she could stop it.

All the students were already seated, some of them angry that they couldn’t sit in the back with the “cool kids”. Clarke wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. 

She took a seat, not directly at the front but close enough, and her heartbeat accelerated when Lexa climbed inside the coach and looked around, hesitating. Clarke’s hope died when she saw that a seat was available next to Anya. Surely, Lexa would sit there. The blonde pulled out her book and started flicking through the pages. 

To Clarke’s surprise, she felt a presence next to her and turned her head to see Lexa plug her headphones into her phone before placing them over her ears. 

Lexa suddenly frowned, seeing Clarke's bewildered look, and she lifted one of the headphones, “I can sit here, right? You weren’t saving this seat for anyone, were you?” 

“N-no, you can sit here.” Clarke stammered out, still a bit surprised that the woman would willingly sit next to her. 

Lexa hummed and placed the headphone back on her ear before pressing play on her playlist and closing her eyes. Clarke's eyes lingered on her, on her profile and her sharp jaw, on the calmness visible on her features and the serenity that emanated from her presence, on her- 

“I can feel you staring at me, Griffin.” Lexa brutally interrupted her train of thought, “Do I have something on my face?” 

_You’re just insanely beautiful, that’s all,_ Clarke thought but replied with a simple shake of her head instead, before realizing Lexa's eyes were closed, “N-no, sorry.” she blushed heavily and forced her eyes back on the page of her book she had entirely abandoned in favor of watching the woman next to her. 

“You know, I could give you a picture of me if you want.” 

_YES,_ Clarke’s mind screamed, “Very funny, Woods.” she cleared her throat, “It won’t be necessary but thanks for the offer.” 

Lexa smirked, eyes still closed, and she shrugged, “Oh well, the offer still stands, whenever you change your mind.” 

“I won’t.” 

“Don’t be so certain about it. I’ve been told my right profile is to die for.” Lexa jokingly added. 

_Not just your right profile._ Clarke wanted to slap herself for those thoughts, _Get a grip, Griffin._

Lexa finally opened her eyes and she slowly turned her head to the side, “You’re blushing.” she pointed out. 

“I’m not.” Clarke denied, “It’s just...the sun.” she poorly lied and clenched her eyes as soon as the words left her mouth. That was the least believable lie she had ever told. 

Lexa looked outside at the sky, filled with clouds, grey with the threat of rain pouring down sooner rather than later, “Sure. The sun.” she grinned, “It is indeed, a very sunny day.” she rubbed salt in the wound. 

Clarke hit her forehead against the seat in front of her, “Ouch.” she mumbled, “That hurt.” 

Lexa's laughter reached her ears and suddenly her embarrassment was replaced by something else entirely. She grinned and lifted her head back up. 

The coach started vibrating as the driver turned the key in the ignition. Anya and Niylah rose from their seats to count the students, making sure everybody was seated and that no student had been left behind. 

“Thirty-five.” Anya announced once she reached the back. 

“Same number.” Niylah confirmed after counting everyone. 

Bellamy, Charles and Nia were in another coach, supervising the other group of students. 

“How many students are in yours, Bell?” Anya asked through her phone. 

_“Forty-two.”_

“Forty-two...so that means we have all 77 students.” Anya smiled, content. She walked towards the driver and indicated that they could leave the school's parking lot. 

Anya punched Lexa's shoulder as she walked past her, “This is gonna be great.” 

Lexa replied with a smile, “It better be. I’m here to unwind a little, not add to my stress.” 

Clarke touched her arm to get her attention and retracted her hand as soon as green eyes settled on her, afraid to overstep any boundaries, “These trips are usually really fun, despite how hard it can be to keep up with them.” she laughed and pointed behind her at the students who were roaring with laughter at something one of them had said. 

“Where did you go last year?” Lexa asked as the coach started moving backwards to finally pull out of the parking lot. 

“We went camping.” Clarke revealed, “In a very nice camping site in Maine. There was everything you needed, beautiful scenery with lakes and rivers. It was just amazing.” she reminisced happily. 

“It sounds like a lot of fun.” 

“It is. And this year will be amazing too. I can feel it.” Clarke briefly patted her thigh, “So, relax a little. You’re always so tense.” 

Lexa smiled and let her shoulders slump ever so slightly, unable to deny that it felt nice to just empty her head for a moment, however short that moment was. 

“See, you’re not so bad at this whole loosening up thing.” Clarke told her. 

Lexa hummed and placed her headphones back over her head and on her ears. 

“Can I…” Clarke hesitated when Lexa's eyes flicked towards her, “Can I listen to your music with you?” 

Lexa smirked, “I don’t see how you could do that with headphones.” she tapped against said headphones. 

Clarke blushed, “I have earphones with me.” she fished them out of her bag, “So...can I?” 

Lexa shrugged and paused her music, unplugging her headphones and plugging in Clarke's earphones instead. She handed the left one to Clarke and placed the other in her right ear before pressing play again. 

Clarke grinned when she recognized the song. _Don’t Stop Me Now_ by Queen. 

“I didn't peg you as that kind of girl.” she commented. 

Lexa frowned, “What does that mean?” 

“I thought you’d be more into classical music or opera, don’t ask me why.” 

The brunette hummed, “I do enjoy classical music but only when I’m reading or working. Otherwise, I quite like songs from the sixties to the eighties.” 

Clarke nodded, storing that information in some part of her brain for a potential later use. 

When the first notes of _Jailhouse Rock_ by Elvis Presley started playing, Clarke jumped in her seat in excitement, nearly causing Lexa's earphone to fall out of her ear. 

“Sorry” she quickly apologized, “But my father and I, we used to listen to this all the time when I was a kid.” she smiled brightly. 

Lexa noted the pure happiness on her face and couldn’t help smiling with her, “Your dad has good taste in music.” 

“He does.” Clarke agreed, “He made sure I didn’t grow up to be uncultured when it comes to music from previous decades and I’m thankful for that.” 

When the chorus was heard again, Clarke starting dancing in her seat as much as her position allowed her to. 

“... _Everybody in the whole cell block_ ” she started singing along, “ _was dancing to the jailhouse rock_ ” 

Lexa watched her with a certain softness in her eyes, “You’re…” she shook her head instead of finishing her sentence, “I take it you like my taste in music?” 

Clarke stopped moving for a second, “I have yet to hear a few more of your songs and then I’ll be the judge of that but you’re off to a good start.” 

“I’m honored.” Lexa said as she searched through her playlist for the next song, “Bingo.” she whispered, hitting play. 

Clarke laughed when she heard the first notes, “Really?” 

“Don’t make fun of me. It’s a good song and you know it.” 

The song she had put on was _Take On Me_ by a-ha. 

“You know what, I won’t even lie. It _is_ a great song.” Clarke admitted. 

“I knew you would agree.” Lexa grinned. 

“ _Taaaake ooooon meee_ ” Clarke started singing quietly, “ _Take on me!_ ” she got closer to Lexa as she kept singing, “Sing with me, Lexa.” 

“Never in a million years.” the brunette said, looking away with a blush when Clarke's hand came to rest on her forearm. 

“Oh, come on!” 

Lexa grumbled something unintelligibly and Clarke didn’t try to force her anymore than that. 

It wasn’t until they neared the end of the song that Clarke heard Lexa mumble the lyrics quietly. It wasn’t what one would call singing but Clarke was happy nonetheless. 

“.... _I’ll be coming for you anyway. Take On Me, take on me! Take me on, take on me, I’ll be gone, for a day or twooooo”_  

Lexa laughed, “Be quiet or students will realize how much of a bad singer you are.” 

Clarke huffed and feigned offense, “I’ll have you know I’m a good singer.” 

“Not the impression I got here.” Lexa teased, searching through her playlist for another song. 

They spent the next two hours of the trip like this, listening to old songs that they discovered during their childhood thanks to their parents. Lexa honestly couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so care-free and had enjoyed a person’s company as much as she did then.

 

 

 


	4. There might be someone

 

 

** Monday, February the 5th **

 

 

“Students, please. Remain quiet. We are in a public place so be respectful.” Lexa said when students started speaking a bit too loudly at the airport. 

The chatter quieted down and they reached their gate one hour before take off. She sat on one of the chairs and Anya instructed for students to sit or to at least stay where they could see them. 

Lexa pulled out her phone and pressed on Lincoln's contact name, figuring she could speak with him for a bit before boarding began. 

She plugged her headphones in and pressed the call button. 

_“Hey, Lex. How are you doing?”_

“I’m good.” the teacher replied, “I have a bit of time before boarding begins so I thought I could call you, see how you're doing.” 

_“Oh, that's right. You’re doing this school trip thing with the students.”_

“Yeah.” 

_“You excited about it?”_

“I don’t really know what will happen so I can’t really tell.” Lexa reasoned. 

_“You’ll be with Anya anyways so it’s not like you're surrounded with people you hate.”_

“That’s true.” 

_“You made any friends amongst your fellow colleagues?”_

Lexa's gaze stopped on Clarke who was speaking with Niylah and a few students, her eyes bright and a smile on her lips, “There might be someone.” the brunette admitted. 

_“I’m happy to hear that.”_ Lincoln said, honesty clear in his voice, _“I’m guessing that means you like the job?”_

“I don't entirely hate it.” 

Lincoln laughed, _“That's already a lot coming from you.”_  

Lexa hummed in agreement. 

_“Is that special someone the woman Anya told me about when we were at the bar?”_

Lexa groaned internally, “Can we not talk about this now, please?” 

_“Of course, sorry.”_ his apology sounded sincere and Lexa appreciated that, _“Listen, I gotta get back to work now but don’t hesitate to call me if you ever need anything. I know we can’t see each other as often as we used to because of our respective jobs but I’m always here for you, sis.”_

“Thank you, Lincoln. Same thing for you.” she reciprocated, “Have a nice day.” 

_“You too, little one.”_

With that, Lincoln ended the call. Lexa put the phone back in her bag and zipped it closed. Someone sat down next to her and she repressed a smile when she caught sight of blue eyes looking back at her. 

“Excited?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa shrugged, “I guess.” she cryptically replied, “I mean, how excited are we supposed to be for those kind of things?” 

“Pretty excited.” Clarke replied, “That’s one week off work where you get to go skiing in a beautiful setting.” 

“Surrounded by loud teenagers.” Lexa completed with a knowing look. 

“Always focusing on the negative.” Clarke nudged her shoulder. 

“I’m not exactly known for being the most optimistic and enthusiastic person in the world so really, it shouldn't be surprising to you.” 

“You’ve got a point.” Clarke admitted, “It’ll be fun, you’ll see. I'll try to keep you entertained.” 

Lexa snorted then blushed. 

“Aww, that’s cute. You just snorted.” Clarke all but cooed. 

Lexa's blush intensified, “I did no such thing.” she denied, looking away, “I just had a hiccup.” 

Clarke hummed, clearly not buying it, “Weird sound for a hiccup.” she said, smiling. 

Lexa mumbled something under her breath, then unlocked her phone to see the time. 

“We’re boarding in twenty minutes.” she said, more to herself than to anyone else. 

“Which leaves us quite some time to kill.” Clarke pointed out, “We could...play twenty questions or something?” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “How old do you think I am exactly?” 

“There is no such thing as being _too old_ for twenty questions. Don’t be so grumpy all the time.” 

“I’m not grumpy.” Lexa denied. 

“I’ll start.” Clarke announced, “Do you have any siblings?” 

Lexa looked at her blankly, “Did you miss the part where I said I didn’t want to play twenty questions or did you deliberately choose to ignore it?” 

“I ignored it. Now, answer the question.” 

Lexa sighed, “I have two brothers. Happy?” 

Clarke shook her head, “Not yet.” she said, “Now it’s your turn to ask me a question.” 

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose, “This is stupid. We don't need that to get to know each other.” 

“Well, I don't really know anything about you and we’ve been working together for almost a month.” 

“Fine.” Lexa relented, “But don't expect me to give you a full auto-biography.” 

“I wasn’t expecting that much.” Clarke grinned. 

“How old are you?” 

“That’s not something you ask to a lady.” Clarke jokingly replied. 

“You’re being annoying.” 

“I’m twenty-six. You?” 

“Twenty-seven.” 

“Oh, so you're basically a fossil.” Clarke teasingly said. 

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “I’m only one year older than you.” she pointed out. 

“Okay, grandma.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes and a tiny smile crept up on her face, “Whatever, Griffin. Ask your next question.” 

“I knew you'd like this game.” Clarke grinned, satisfied, “What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not working?” 

“I’m always working.” 

“That’s a lie.” Clarke said, “Though it is quite believable.” 

“I like reading.” Lexa shrugged, “Or seeing my friends.” 

“You have friends?” Clarke teased, “I never would have guessed.” 

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” Lexa asked, searching through her bag for her portable phone charger. 

“I think I’m hilarious. Why do you ask?” Clarke smirked. 

Lexa plugged the charger to her phone and put it down on the empty chair next to her, “Alright. What is your dream vacation destination?” 

“Oh, we’re still doing this?” Clarke asked, excited, “I thought you’d stop after a couple questions.” 

“The name of the game is _twenty questions._ It would be pretty odd to stop after two.” 

“Technicalities.” Clarke waved a hand dismissively, “And to answer your question, my dream destination would be Minnesota.” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow in surprise, “Not exactly the answer I expected.” 

Clarke smiled, “My parents live there.” she explained, “I’ve spent my childhood in Minnesota and moved away for my studies. Then, I found a job here in California.” 

“You don’t see your parents often then?” 

“I try to visit them as often as possible. Hence why it is my dream destination. There's no place like home, right?” 

Lexa smiled, “Right.” 

“What about you? You often see your parents?” 

Lexa nodded, “They live close by. I visit them every once in a while.” 

“What are th-” 

She was interrupted when a student approached them, “Ms. Griffin, Murphy and Miller went to the bathroom fifteen minutes ago and we can’t find them.” 

“What?” Clarke's eyes widened, “Stay here. I’ll go look for them.” she told Lexa. 

“No, I’m coming with you.” Lexa argued, “It’ll go faster if we're two instead of having only one person searching. There are five other teachers who can watch over the students while we're gone.” 

“Uh...yeah, ok.” Clarke hurried to say, her voice thick with panic. She started striding through the airport, increasing her speed as she walked, to the point that she was nearly running. 

“Clarke!” Lexa called after her, “Clarke, slow down!” 

Clarke stopped walking for a short moment, surprised to hear Lexa refer to her with her first name for once. 

She turned around slowly, but the panic quickly crept back inside her chest, “We have to find these kids, Lexa!” Clarke said, looking around frantically, “The bathroom is there.” she pointed at it and all but ran inside. 

“You need to calm down.” Lexa calmly said when she caught up with her. 

“We lost two students, Lexa. How are you not freaking out?” 

“I’m worried but panicking will only make things worse. Do you have their phone numbers?” 

“Y-yes.” Clarke pulled out her phone and quickly searched through her list of contacts for the boys’ numbers, “Here.” she pressed the call button and waited, “Come on, just pick up the damn phone.” 

Her foot started tapping against the floor very quickly. She cursed under her breath when Miller didn’t pick up. She called Murphy's phone and started pacing back and forth in the hall. 

“Griffin.” Lexa tried to get her attention, “We’ll find them, just breathe.” 

Finally, after a few long seconds, Murphy picked up the phone, _“Hello?”_

“It’s Ms Griffin.” Clarke hurried to say, “Where are you?” 

_“Near the boarding gate, why?”_

“Is Miller with you?” 

_“Yes.”_

“Okay, good.” Clarke released a deep breath of relief, “Stay where you are. Don’t move away from the group again.” 

_“Whatever.”_ Murphy hung up after that. 

Clarke leaned her back against the wall and inhaled deeply, the tension leaving her entire body. She closed her eyes. 

“Clarke.” 

She heard a voice call for her. 

“Clarke.”

Blue eyes opened to find green ones, filled with something akin to concern and worry. Was it concern for the students or for her? Clarke didn’t know. 

“Where are they?” 

“Near the boarding gate.” Clarke answered, “They...they must have come back when we went to search for them in the bathroom.” 

Lexa frowned. Clarke sounded awfully out of breath, “Hey, are you alright?” she started reaching out to put her hand on Clarke's forearm, but retracted it before it made contact with it, “You want to sit for a bit?” 

Clarke shook her head, “I’m good.” she declared, “We should get back to the others. Boarding will begin soon.” 

“Clarke.” Lexa grabbed her hand and stopped her from walking away, “Take a deep breath.” she instructed after hearing how labored Clarke's breathing sounded. 

Clarke followed her instruction and progressively felt the adrenaline and worry leave her body. 

“That’s it.” Lexa said in a calm and soothing voice, “Do you feel better?” 

Clarke lifted her gaze and lost herself in the emerald eyes staring back at her with concern. She hadn’t ever seen Lexa’s face filled with so much emotion. 

“I’m good.” she nodded, “Thank you.” 

Much to Lexa's surprise, Clarke stepped closer and put her arms around her, wrapping her in a hug. 

“Griffin?” Lexa croaked out, cheeks reddening and eyes widening slightly, “What are you doing?” 

Her arms hung uselessly at her sides and she tried not to think too much about how nice it felt to have Clarke's body pressed against her own. 

“I’m thanking you.” Clarke said before stepping away. She then cleared her throat, “We should get back to the others.” she turned on her heels and started walking away. 

Lexa stood there, frozen on the spot. Her lips ever so slowly shifted into a blooming smile. 

Clarke turned around when she noticed Lexa wasn’t following, “Are you coming?” 

Lexa quickly wiped her smile off her face and nodded, “Sure.”

 

 

\----------

 

 

“What happened?” Anya asked when Lexa was back at the boarding gate, “You two just disappeared all of a sudden. Did you go into a secluded area to make out?” she wiggled her eyebrows. 

Lexa slapped her arm, “Shut up. Of course not.” she rolled her eyes. 

“Then what was it?” 

“Murphy and Miller had been gone for too long and we went looking for them. That’s all.” 

Anya raised her hands, “Alright, I believe you.” she laughed, “But why does Clarke look shaken up?” 

Lexa shrugged, “She was really worried, I guess. What the hell do I know?” she defensively added. 

“Easy, tiger.” Anya smiled, “I was just asking. No hidden meaning here.” 

A voice in the intercom interrupted whatever Lexa was about to say. 

_“Passengers for the flight 306 with destination Breckenridge are requested to prepare for boarding.”_

Anya clapped her hands, “Alright, students! Come over here. We’re going to count how many of you are here. Once you have been counted, please, step behind me and join Ms. Woods and Mr Blake.” 

Once they had made sure every student was present, they started boarding the plane, each student presenting their passport before moving towards the inside of the plane. 

Clarke and Niylah counted all the students one more time, moving through the rows of seats on the plane. 

Clarke then slumped into her designated seat and let out a deep sigh. According to their plane tickets, Niylah would be sitting next to her. 

She frowned when instead of Niylah, Lexa took a seat next to her, “Lexa?” 

The brunette pulled out a book from her bag, “Yes?” 

“Shouldn't you be sitting next to Anya?” 

Lexa paused, “You want me to move?” she asked, unsure, “Cause I can move if needed.” 

Clarke shook her head, “No need.” she offered a small smile, “I just thought Niylah would sit here.” 

Lexa rubbed the back of her neck, “I asked her if we could switch seats.” 

Clarke smirked, “I knew you liked me, Woods.” 

Lexa shrugged, “I just didn’t want to get the window seat.” she mumbled, “And Anya didn’t want it either so…” 

“That must be it. Yeah, for sure.” Clarke hummed, “You almost convinced me.” 

Lexa hid her smile by looking to the side, “Whatever, Griffin.” 

“Admit it.” 

“Admit what?” 

“Admit that I’m growing on you.” 

“You’re not.” 

Clarke laughed, “Come on. You totally like me, Woods. It’s okay to recognize it for what it is.” 

Lexa shook her head, “You talk too much.” she said before putting her headphones over her ears. 

Clarke laughed, “Seriously?” 

Lexa tapped on her headphones, “Sorry, I can’t hear you.” she smirked. 

“Your headphones aren’t plugged in.” Clarke raised a knowing eyebrow. 

Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke the whole time while she took her phone and tried to no avail to plug the headphones in without looking. 

“Damn it.” she muttered after a few failed attempts, lowering her gaze to finally plug it in, “There, now I can’t hear you.” she pressed play on a randomly picked song. 

“Sure about that?” Clarke said, moving impossibly closer and lifting up one of the headphones. 

“You’re making me uncomfortable. Move away, please.” 

“Since you asked so nicely.” Clarke fell back into her seat, “Your ears got all red, by the way.” she pointed out, “It’s cute.” 

“My ears aren't red, nor am I cute.” Lexa argued, looking down. 

Clarke hummed non-committedly. 

“You could at least pretend you believe me.” Lexa said. 

“I’m afraid that is beyond my acting abilities.” 

“Yeah cause you have none.” 

Clarke playfully slapped her shoulder, “Rude. I’ll have you know I once was the lead in a theater play at my school.” she smiled proudly. 

“How old were you?”

“Seven years old and they only agreed because no one else volunteered to do it but it’s not the point.” 

Clarke smiled when that drew a small laugh from Lexa. 

“You sure seem to laugh a lot lately for someone who claims to be stern and serious all the time.”

Lexa rolled her eyes at that, “One, I’ve never claimed any of that, and second, I won't give people the honor of having me laugh at their joke unless it was really funny.” 

“Ha! You just admitted you think I’m really funny.” 

“If it makes you happy…” Lexa trailed off, flipping the pages of her book until she found the page she had last stopped at. 

Clarke leaned closer to her and lifted her headphone, “What are you reading?” she whispered loudly. 

“Jesus, Griffin!” Lexa jerked away from her, “Don’t do that.” 

The blonde leaned back in her seat, laughing loudly, “You should have seen your reaction.” 

“Hilarious.” Lexa deadpanned. 

The flight attendants started miming the instructions, showing the emergency exits and explaining what to do in the unlikely event of a crash. 

“They must get tired of doing this.” Clarke said, “Every single flight. At least twice a day.” 

“You give the same lesson to six different classes.” Lexa remarked with a raised eyebrow. 

Clarke smiled, “It’s not the same thing.” 

“It’s not?” 

“Each lesson is different. Students don’t always react the same way to the things we teach them. Where some will be enthusiastic, others will find it boring. There is no way to predict how each lesson is going to go.” 

“I’d like to see students show enthusiasm.” Lexa scoffed, “I struggle to merely keep them from falling asleep.” 

“Then maybe, you could find ways to make it more entertaining.” 

“I don't think class is supposed to be a fun fair, Griffin.” Lexa scowled. 

“I’m not saying you should organize a party. I’m just saying, diversity is your best friend as a teacher. Don’t always use the same methods to teach. Show them videos from time to time or make a game out of exercises if it helps.” 

“A game?” 

Clarke nodded. 

“Like what?” 

“You teach French, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“How about teaching them the tenses with a game of Battleship.” 

“I fail to understand how one could do such a thing.” Lexa frowned. 

Clarke held up a finger and rummaged through her bag, smiling when she found what she was looking for. She pulled out a notepad and a pen and started drawing a grid pattern. 

“On the vertical column, you write the personal pronouns. I don’t know them so…” 

Lexa nodded and tapped on the paper at the first case, “ _Je”_  

Clarke wrote it down, “Like that?” 

Lexa laughed at the way Clarke had written it. On the page were written the two letters _G E_

“No.” she chuckled and Clarke couldn’t help but smile upon hearing the sound, “It’s written just like in the words _je t'aime.”_

“Oh, I know what this means!” Clarke exclaimed, blushing as she spoke her next words, “It means _I love you,_ right?” 

“Yes.” 

Clarke used an eraser and wrote the word correctly this time, “Okay, what’s the second one?” 

_“Tu”_

Clarke gave her a questioning look. 

“a T and a U” 

Clarke nodded and wrote it down, “Next?” 

_“I and L”_

How do you pronounce it?” 

“Like the word _' ill ' ._ Here, I’ll write the rest.” she gently took the pencil from Clarke's hand. 

Their fingers brushed together as she did so and Clarke looked down with a soft blush. 

Lexa scribbled down the other pronouns, speaking them aloud as she did so, _“Nous, vous, ils.”_

She then handed the pencil back at Clarke. The woman was so enraptured by the way Lexa spoke the words so perfectly that she had forgotten she was the one initially giving an explanation. 

“Right, and then you put various tenses in the horizontal column. Like...uh…” 

_“Le passé composé.”_

“What does that mean?” 

_“Composed past._ It’s the equivalent of simple past in English _.”_

“You write it.” Clarke handed her the notepad and the pencil and Lexa smiled, accepting it with a small _thanks._

“And which verb do we use?” 

“Whichever you want.” 

“ _Manger_.” 

“What does it mean?” 

“ _To eat.”_

Clarke nodded, “Write a different tense in each square.” 

Lexa clicked the pen and brought it down on the sheet

“So, now each student draws their ships and instead of saying B4, for instance, they have to say…uh... _le passé composé_ of to eat at the second person of singular, whatever that is _.”_ Clarke read with a heavy american accent. 

“ _Tu as mangé.”_  

“Yes, that. _Tu as mangé.”_ she repeated, trying her very best at a French accent. 

Lexa smiled at the way Clarke tried to pronounce the words. She couldn’t help finding it endearing. 

“That’s a really good idea.” Lexa told her, “I’ll use that but don't worry, I’ll give you credit for the idea.”

“Oh, you know...I don’t need credit.” Clarke said, “I’m not really looking for fame or anything like that.” 

Lexa's lips tugged upwards, “Sure, you’re not.” 

The plane started moving and Clarke clapped her hands, “Finally. I thought we would never take off.” 

Lexa heard her name being called and she looked around, searching for the source of the sound, until her eyes settled on Anya. She furrowed her brow in question. 

Anya nodded towards her, gesturing at Lexa and Clarke, “What is going on?” 

Lexa couldn’t read on her lips. She frowned, “What?” 

Anya sighed and gestured that she would tell her later. Lexa nodded and rested her back against the seat, making sure her seatbelt was securely on. 

“This is going to be great.” Clarke announced, beaming.

“If you say so.” Lexa quietly told her as she fastened her seatbelt.

 

 

\----------

 

 

“I told you she liked her.” Lucy said, nodding towards the two teachers who were chatting quietly a few rows behind them. 

Alex, the boy with whom Lucy had made the bet, turned around and rose slightly from his seat in order to peek behind him, “They’re just talking. It doesn’t mean anything.” 

Lucy laughed, “Oh, trust me, they're doing more than just talking. This right here, is flirting if I have ever seen it.” 

“You don’t even know what they're saying.” Alex rolled his eyes. 

“It’s all in the eyes.” Lucy explained, “And let me tell you, Griffin got some heart eyes going on.” 

“I still don’t think Ms. Woods is a lesbian.” 

“She is. Trust me.” 

“What are you two talking about?” another student, Josh, asked, leaning towards his two classmates. 

“We’re talking about Ms. Griffin’s obvious crush on Ms. Woods.” Lucy announced. 

“She doesn’t have a crush on her.” Alex sighed, “I don’t know where you get those ideas from.” 

Josh hummed, “Actually, I think Lucy’s right.” he chimed in, “They do look close. And it’s not like Ms. Woods usually lets people get close to her.” 

“As if you know her.” Alex said. 

“No but have you see how scary that woman is? I have a hard time picturing her as the socially invested and cheerful kind of girl.” 

“Okay, yes, but that still doesn’t mean they like each other. They're obviously straight.” 

Josh made a face, “I don’t think so, man. I get some gay vibes.” 

“From who?” 

“Ms. Woods definitely.” Josh answered, “And there has been rumors about Ms. Pine and Ms. Griffin dating last year.” 

“That’s bullshit.” Alex chuckled disbelievingly, “So now just because teachers hang out together, it means they're fucking? Nah, I don't believe it.” 

“Believe what you want, bro.” Josh patted his shoulder, “But we’re right.” he gestured at Lucy and himself. 

“Exactly.” Lucy lifted her hand for a high five, “And you’re about to lose that bet.” 

“You’re way too confident, Da Cruz.” Alex told Lucy, “When you inevitably lose, I want you to publicly admit your defeat.” 

“In the impossible event of it happening, I’ll publicly admit to it but you’ll do the same if you lose, or should I say, _when_ you lose.” 

“You’re on.” Alex shook her hand. 

“What about you, Josh, want to join our bet?” Lucy asked. 

Josh shrugged, “Why not?” 

“You're both gonna lose big time.” Alex said with a smirk, “Easy money, here I come.”

Lucy shook her head, “Don’t get your hopes too high, it’ll only hurt more when you'll realize that you've lost.” 

With that, they all looked back towards the two teachers who were now both reading the book Lexa had brought with. 

“Look, they're sharing a book.” Lucy said, “Goals.” she high-fived Josh while Alex muttered something about it not meaning anything.

 

 

\----------

 

 

Lexa waited for Clarke to finish reading the page before flicking it, “You can flip the page.” the blonde told her, “Thanks for letting me read.” 

Lexa shrugged, “I still don’t get why you would want to read a book of which you haven’t read the first half but you’re welcome, I guess.” 

“I’m bored, alright? And you’re not entertaining me so I had to find another way.” 

“Sorry my presence is so boring to you.” 

Clarke laughed, “You’re a delight.” she joked, “A real ball of energy and happiness. And also such an enthusiastic person.” 

“Very funny.” 

“I know.” 

“Can I keep reading or do you want to keep wasting saliva on words that hold no use?” 

Clarke smiled, “I’d be offended if I didn’t know you were joking.” 

“I wasn’t joking.” Lexa said, fighting off a smile. 

“That smile here tells me otherwise.” 

“I don't know what you mean. I’ve been told I am physically incapable of smiling or expressing any form of joy.” 

“That’s believable.” 

Lexa smiled, “Jerk.” 

“Dickhead.” Clarke retorted. 

“Very classy.” 

“I know, thank you.”

 

 

\------------

 

 

“Can I flip the page?” Lexa asked, looking to the side. She couldn’t help the smile that grew on her lips when she noticed that Clarke had fallen asleep. 

The blonde's mouth was open and her head was thrown back against the seat. Lexa put her hand under Clarke's chin and pushed her mouth closed. She then proceeded reading. A couple minutes later, she felt a weight settle on her shoulder and jumped slightly in surprise. A blush rose to her cheeks when she noted that Clarke's head had slid and was now resting on her shoulder. Blonde hair tickled her neck and warmth spread through her body. 

She tried to focus back on her book but gave up after attempting to read a line and having to read it three times over because of how distracted she was. She closed the book and placed it back in her bag, being careful to not move her shoulder too much because she didn’t want to wake up Clarke. Her colleague looked like she could use the extra hours of sleep. 

Lexa's eyes fell on the girl sleeping on her shoulder and she ever so slowly moved her free arm up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind the blonde's ear, clearing her face. She then swiftly retracted her hand as if the touch had somehow burned her. She chanced a glance around, making sure no one had witnessed it, then settled back comfortably against her seat. 

The plane started trembling as they entered an area of turbulence and Lexa gripped the armrest, “Easy.” she whispered to herself. 

Clarke awoke due to the movements of the plane, “Whaa…” she said, not entirely aware of her surroundings yet. 

“It’s just turbulence.” Lexa told her, though she herself wasn’t exactly as at ease as one would think she would be. 

“Oh, okay.” Clarke nodded, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her index finger, “Have I been sleeping for long?” 

Lexa shrugged, “About twenty minutes.” 

Clarke hummed, “I didn’t do anything weird, did I?” 

Heat rushed to Lexa's cheek as her mind automatically rewinded back to a few seconds prior, when the blonde's head was on her shoulder. 

“N-no.” she stuttered, “Nothing.” 

Clarke closed her eyes again, “I’m so tired.” she whined, fidgeting incessantly to try and find a comfortable position, “Whose idea was it again to travel low-cost?” she asked, annoyed by the constant aching in her back and neck due to how rigid the seats were. 

“I believe it was yours so that students wouldn’t have to pay too much.” 

Clarke groaned, “Ah, right.” 

Lexa's hand tightened on the armrest after a particularly violent tremor. Clarke's eyebrow furrowed, “What's wrong?” 

“I don’t really like planes.” Lexa explained, “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll dispose of your body somewhere no one can possibly find it.” 

Clarke laughed, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul. And between you and me, there's nothing embarrassing about being scared of planes. Plenty of people have that phobia.” 

“It’s not a phobia.” 

“Okay, maybe not a phobia but a fear nonetheless.” Clarke said, “You want me to lend you my hand? I'll happily let you crush it if it makes you feel better.” 

“Thanks for the offer but I’m good.” 

“Suit yourself.” Clarke hummed, “Just don’t rip off the material of the armrest. Wouldn’t want to pay for replacement of damaged goods.” 

“I won’t destroy the armrest.” 

“You sure about that?” Clarke nodded towards her fingers which were digging into the material. 

“Positive.” 

Clarke slowly reached across Lexa's waist and grabbed the brunette's hand, forcing her hand to release its tight grip. 

“It’ll be alright.” she told her colleague, squeezing her hand before releasing it, a tingling sensation in her fingers. 

Lexa gave a short nod and shifted in her seat, settling more comfortably, “I’m not really scared of planes. I just sometimes get this thing where I start imagining worst case scenarios and...you don’t care about that.” 

“I do.” Clarke countered, “I do care.” 

Lexa's eyes settled on Clarke for a few seconds before she shook her head almost imperceptibly, and she fixed her gaze on the seat in front, which seemed like the most interesting thing at the moment. 

“Anyway, I’m not scared of planes.” 

“Sure you’re not.” 

“Stop mocking me, Griffin.” 

“I’m not.” 

“That’s a lie.” 

“You have no way to prove it.” 

Lexa shifted in her seat, “Has anyone ever told you that you were highly annoying?” 

Clarke smiled, “Not really." 

“Because you are.” 

“I hate you too.” Clarke winked. 

Lexa smirked. She clasped her hands together in her lap, “I never said I hated you.” 

“You thought it very loudly.” 

Lexa chuckled, “You’re right. I did.” 

“You were supposed to deny it.” 

“Now where's the fun in that?” 

Clarke glanced down and her index scratched at the soft material of the armrest, “You’re pretty fun to hang out with sometimes, you know.” 

“Only sometimes?” 

“Yeah.” 

Lexa smiled. She closed her eyes and loosened her shoulders, ridding herself of the tension in them. She yawned, a hand placed in front of her mouth, then she decided to try and find sleep. They still had two hours of flight and she knew rest would be nowhere to be found once they arrived to the hotel. Now was her only shot at sleeping until late that night. 

“You should sleep.” 

“That's what I was planning on doing but thanks for the advice. It was very useful of you to waste words on that.” 

“You're an ass.” Clarke laughed. 

“Thank you.”

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“It’s...bigger than I expected.” Lexa dropped her bag by the entrance and waited for students to arrive with their suitcases so they could count them and check into the rooms. 

“Did you not see the pictures?” Anya asked. 

Lexa shrugged, “I didn’t get the chance to have a look.”

“You looked pretty cozy back there with Clarke.” Anya instantly changed the topic of discussion. 

Lexa groaned and leaned against the wall, “Not again.” 

Anya raised her arms, “I was just stating an observation.” 

Lexa huffed, “I know that tone, Anya. That’s the tone you use when you’re trying to imply something and I know what you’re trying to say so let me just tell you, you’re wrong and nothing is going to happen between Griffin and I.” she lifted her bag, “Ever.” 

“I’ll drop it because I can see it annoys you but you can’t possibly tell me you haven’t considered it.” 

“I haven’t. End of the discussion.” Lexa moved forward and started counting the students, making sure each of them had their suitcase in hand and that nothing had been left behind in the coach. 

Anya sighed and headed towards the reception to fetch the key cards, handing them to each group of students, not without reminding them of the rules enforced within the building.

Once the students had emptied the main hall and ran towards the elevator, followed by Anya and Bellamy's requests for them to not run inside the building, Lexa plopped down on a chair and closed her eyes. 

“Tired already?” 

“Barely.” Lexa didn’t bother opening her eyes. 

“I got our keycard. Wanna check out the room?” Clarke asked. 

“Just...one more minute.” Lexa raised a finger and her lips curved upwards when she heard Clarke laugh, “I can feel your presence close to me. It is _not_ relaxing at all.” 

“Good. Since it isn’t relaxing, you can get up and follow me to the room which is equipped with a warm and very comfortable bed.” 

Lexa opened one eye, “Interesting. Tell me more.” 

“We also have access to an indoors jacuzzi and a mini fridge.” 

“Really?” 

“No.” Clarke grinned, “We’re not nearly rich enough for that. Now move your butt. We're going upstairs.” 

Lexa groaned when she pushed herself up, “It better be the most damn comfortable bed I’ve ever lied down on.” 

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Clarke said, already pressing her thumb against the elevator button.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Lexa faltered in her steps when they entered the room, “Oh so it’s not just a shared room…it’s also…” 

“A shared bed.” Clarke completed, rolling her suitcase to the back of the bedroom, “If that’s an issue, I can go speak to the hotel manager and see if there's any way to-”

“Don’t bother.” Lexa said, “I just want to sleep right now.” she all but dropped on the bed, nearly moaning when her back connected with the mattress. 

Clarke grinned, “Too bad we have to go downstairs in ten minutes to prepare the activities of this evening.” 

Lexa let out a grunt, rolling around so that her face was half buried in the pillows, “Why can’t we just cancel those activities? Let’s just all take an eight-hour-long nap.”

“No can do. This trip has been planned months in advance and we're not changing it now. Get up, lazy ass.” 

“What are we even doing tonight?” 

“Big blind test. Get up.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes and lifted a pillow, throwing it at Clarke, “Let me sleep.” 

Clarke caught the pillow and threw it right back at a very unresponsive Lexa. The brunette merely huffed when the pillow landed on her face. 

“Thank you.” she mumbled, placing the pillow under her head. 

Clarke ended up giving up on trying to wake up Lexa. She got a start on unpacking her suitcase and started placing her clothes in the bottom drawers, leaving the top ones for the brunette. 

Ten minutes passed by and soon, Clarke was shaking Lexa awake, “Come on, we have to go.” 

Lexa muttered something under her breath but got up nonetheless, “I thought this trip would be fun.” 

“I don’t think sleeping is what most would consider _fun._ ” 

“Get your facts straight. Everyone loves sleeping.” 

“And this is why you get up at 6am every damn morning.”

“How do you know?” 

“I didn’t.” Clarke laughed, “I just figured you were the type to do that.” 

“Anyway, your logic is erroneous because although I wake up early, I also go to sleep fairly early.” 

“Boring.” 

“Reasonable.” Lexa argued. 

“Old-fashioned.” 

“Healthy.” 

Clarke laughed and grabbed one of her sweater, shrugging it on, “We better get going. The others are probably already downstairs.”

 

 

\----------

 

 

The students noisily took their place among the circles of chairs that had been previously set up by the teachers. There were seven circles, meaning seven teams composed of eleven students each. 

Anya clapped her hands to gather everyone's attention and Niylah moved through the teams, handing out small dry erase boards and black markers, one of each for each team. 

“We have organized a small blind test for you tonight. We know some of you might be tired, others would prefer to be elsewhere doing god knows what but we would really appreciate it if you could be attentive and disciplined during the following hour or so.” Clarke said, “Anya will play small excerpts of songs carefully chosen by us. The songs are from the 90s and the 00s so you probably all know most of them.” 

“Everytime a song plays, you will be given twenty seconds to share ideas with your teammates and write down a final answer on your board. If I see anyone speaking or writing after the twenty seconds allocated, your team loses the point, regardless of the answer.” 

“This is stupid. We’re not twelve anymore.” Finn huffed, throwing the marker on the table. 

“If you wish to leave, be our guest, but also know that your free time will be taken away from you tomorrow as a result. Your choice.” Lexa told the boy who instantly sat back down in silence, scowling. 

“Alright, let’s begin.” Clarke clapped her hands.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“See how she fucking looks at her?” Lucy said, nodding towards their English Lit. teacher, “She's so into her, man. How can you not see it?” 

“Because it's not there.” Alex insisted, “They're just looking at each other. Since when is this romantic?” 

“Since their eyes obviously tell more than their words ever will.” 

“Very poetic.” Alex mocked. 

“She's right, though.” Josh chimed in. 

“You're two against one. It’s un- oh! I know this song. Write S.O.S by Rihanna!” Alex exclaimed, “As I was saying, it’s unfair. I need someone who thinks like me too.” 

“No one thinks like you.” Lucy said, putting the cap of the marker back on. 

“Actually…” a small voice made itself heard, “I also don’t think there's anything going on between Miss Woods and Miss Griffin.” Angelina said. 

“You’re half blind, that’s why.” Lucy teased the girl. 

“Are you ever going to stop making fun of my glasses?” 

Lucy shook her head, “I still don’t know why you had to buy such big glasses.” 

“Cause my eyesight is really fucking bad.” 

“The size of the glasses doesn’t have anything to do with how bad your eyesight is.” 

“Whatever. Maybe you're the one who should wear glasses because you obviously don’t see things clearly.” 

“Wanna join the bet?” Josh asked, “To spice things up a little.” 

“What bet?” 

“If Lucy and I can prove by the end of the trip that Miss Griffin is into Miss Woods, Alex owes us ten dollars each.” 

“Ten dollars each?” Alex exclaimed, “Hell no, I only agreed to give the money to Lucy.” 

“Well, that was before I joined.” Josh reasoned, “The winners each get ten dollars from each of the losers. Do we have a deal?” 

“Deal.” Angelina said, “You’ll lose anyway. Even if they were into each other, good luck to prove it.” 

“Oh, we will.” Lucy smirked, “Don’t worry about it. Miss Griffin loves me so it’ll be easy.”

“Teacher's pet.” Alex mumbled.

“Ain’t nothing wrong with that.” Lucy shrugged, “Teachers love me. What do you want?” 

“Whatever.”

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Clarke exploded in laughter, “Are you for real?” she asked, drying her hair with a towel. 

Lexa looked up at her and dropped the pillow she was holding. She had spent the past minute arranging pillows in the middle of their shared bed, shaping up some sort of separation wall between the two of them. 

“Do you hate me so much that my presence irritates you to the point of building a wall of pillows?” 

“Yes.” 

“Not offensive at all. Thanks.” Clarke smirked, “So fucking extra.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

Clarke hummed, “What? _Extra?”_  

“Yes.” 

“It’s...when somebody does the absolute most even when it’s not necessary.”

“So that’s a good thing.” 

“Not always.” Clarke explained, “Here for example, it means you didn’t have to build a fucking wall between our two sides of the bed yet you did it anyway to show how badly you dislike me. I am quite flattered that you put so much effort into it, actually.” 

“You’re weird, Griffin.” 

“Says the one who thought a pillow wall was the way to go.” 

“I’m going to take a shower.” 

“Avoiding your problems won’t make them go away!” 

“You just admitted to being one of my problems. Your words, not mine.” Lexa smirked as she grabbed her sleepwear and disappeared into the bathroom. 

“You’re infuriating.” Clarke said before the door closed behind Lexa. 

“I hate you too!” Lexa replied from inside the bathroom. 

Clarke grinned and finished drying her hair with her blow-dryer before jumping into bed, instantly slipping under the warmth of the covers. 

“Lord Jesus, Mary and Joseph, this feels good.” she sighed in contentment as she finally could give some rest to her body which was sore. How was it sore when she had done next to no physical activities? A complete mystery. 

She started singing a tune, closing her eyes. 

“Griffin?” Lexa called from the bathroom. 

“Yes?” 

“Your singing is awful.” 

“Thank you.” Clarke replied before resuming singing. She faintly heard the sound of Lexa's laughter and smiled.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Lexa woke up because of some noise in the hallway. She rubbed her eyes and swung her legs to the side before walking up to the door, swiftly opening it and scanning the hallway. 

She sighed when she saw some students running from one room to another, oblivious to her presence. 

She looked back into her own room and saw that Clarke was fast asleep, arms spread out as much as the space would allow it, and mouth wide open. 

She didn’t have the heart to wake the blonde up so she grabbed a sweatshirt and left the room, placing one of her shoes against the door to keep it open. 

“Collins!” she hissed, “Get back to your room immediately, same thing goes for you, Nicholson.” she scolded the two students. 

Finn muttered something under his breath and walked back towards his room, the one opposite Clarke's and Lexa's. On his way there, he flashed Lexa a smirk and kicked the shoe she had placed between the door and the threshold. 

The door shut with a soft click and Finn smiled obnoxiously, “Oops.” he pulled out his key card and retreated to his room before Lexa could react. 

The teacher sighed at how childish this behavior was. She committed into memory that she needed to talk to the principal about Finn's recent behavior and ask which disciplinary measures were appropriate in such situation. 

She just prayed to every gods in existence that Clarke wasn’t a heavy sleeper. Here went her plan to not disturb her colleague’s sleep. 

She knocked softly three times. Upon receiving no reaction, she brought her fist down more firmly against the door and it opened after a few seconds, “Lexa?” Clarke croaked out, “If you wanted to treat yourself to a nocturnal walk, maybe you should have taken the keycard with you.” she smiled tiredly and stepped aside to let Lexa in. 

“Very funny, Griffin. It is not of my free will that I woke up. Students were running around the hallway.” 

“And you didn’t take the keycard because..?” 

“Because I had already put a shoe to hold the door but Finn kicked it so I got stuck outside.” 

Clarke couldn’t repress a laugh at that, “Rookie mistake.” she grinned. 

Lexa lay back down on the bed and this time, she grabbed the pillows and put them aside. 

“Oh, so you decided to finally destroy that wall of pillows?” 

Lexa shrugged, “It was uncomfortable.” 

“I agree. It really was weighing on our relationship.” 

Lexa laughed, “Goodnight, Griffin.” 

“Goodnight, grumpy cat.”

 

 

 


	5. "You're a pain in my ass."

 

 

Lexa’s eyes slowly fluttered open and she instantly jumped away from the woman asleep next to her after noticing how close they had ended up in their sleep. Their faces had been mere inches from each other and Clarke's left leg was spread out in a way where it trapped Lexa's own leg.

“Griffin.” Lexa shook the woman awake, “Wake up.”

Clarke mumbled something unintelligibly, then buried herself deeper into the blanket, tugging at it.

“Stop stealing the blanket for yourself, dammit.” Lexa tugged back on the covers to try and keep herself warm as well.

Clarke inadvertently kicked Lexa's thigh as she moved around and the brunette repressed a groan of pain, instead opting to sit up on the bed.

“You're the worst person to sleep next to. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Clarke gave a lazy smile, “Pretty much everyone who has ever shared a bed with me.”

“I pity each and every one of them.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you had shared a bed with Raven. She's even worse than me.”

“How is that even possible?” Lexa yawned and grabbed her sweatshirt on the chair next to the bed, shrugging it on.

“She moves around a lot, kicks you in her sleep,-” 

“So do you.” 

“I do?” 

“Seriously? Yes, you do. I’ve woken up three times because you decided to practice your soccer skills on my legs.” 

Clarke smiled, “Sorry.” she apologized in a voice that let on that she wasn’t truly sorry about any of it. 

“I’ll have bruises by the end of the week.” Lexa grumbled. 

“Well, at least I don’t talk in my sleep.” 

“No, but you snore.” 

Clarke gasped, “I do not!” 

“You don’t have to be ashamed. Other people snore too. You know, like grandpas and men in their forties, for example.” 

“Shut up, you’re inventing that.” Clarke laughed, throwing a pillow at Lexa but the brunette caught it and threw it right back. 

“Get ready. We have to be downstairs in twenty.” Lexa gave her a small smile before disappearing into the bathroom.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“How was the first night with blondie?” 

“She has a name.” Lexa glared at Anya, pointedly avoiding the question. 

“Which you don’t even use. You always refer to her as _Griffin_.” 

“And?” 

“Don’t dodge my question.” 

Lexa sighed, “It was horrible. She moved all the time, kicked me every two minutes and stole the blanket for herself.” 

“Aw, you two are like an old married couple.” 

Lexa frowned, “What in this description even made you think of- you know what, I’m not having this conversation with you again.” 

“Lex…” 

“No, Anya.” Lexa snapped, “I’ve had it up to here that you and Lincoln always try to set me up with every remotely beautiful woman I meet.” 

Anya snapped her mouth shut, “I’m sorry but you have to understand that we're only looking out for you.” 

“Well, you can look out for me without invading my private life so much.” 

Anya bowed her head in shame, “As you wish.” she relented, not wanting to upset Lexa any further. 

Anya was worried Lexa would never give love a chance again after the failure of the brunette's last relationship, but she couldn’t exactly force her best friend to date someone if it wasn’t something Lexa genuinely wanted. 

Anya sighed and watched Lexa busy herself with counting the students and dividing them into smaller groups, each group being assigned to one or two of the supervising teachers. 

Clarke moved through the crowd of students, brushing her hand against Lexa's shoulder as she walked past, “We need to get to the bus as soon as possible. Departure is in ten minutes.” she said in the teacher’s ear. 

Chills traveled down Lexa's body when Clarke's breath hit her ear and she nodded, “Sure thing.” 

Lucy slapped Alex’s arm, “Did you see that?” she discreetly nodded towards their two teachers. 

“Yeah, I saw. And even if I didn't, you just filmed the whole thing. Are you for real?” 

“I was serious when I said I would win this bet.” she winked at him. 

The students were quickly ushered towards the bus that would take them to the ski station. 

“Did you sleep well, Ms.Woods?” Finn asked with a smug smile. 

“Get inside the bus, Collins.” Lexa sharply answered, urging him up the stairs to get on the bus. 

Once every student had been counted and was safely seated inside the bus, the teachers climbed inside, only to find out that only two seats were left unoccupied. 

“You go ahead.” Lexa gestured towards one of the seats. 

Clarke shook her head, “No, you take a seat. I can stand.” 

Lexa crossed her arms in front of her chest, “Don’t be annoying, Griffin. Just sit down.” 

Clarke leveled her with a raised eyebrow, “Or what?” 

Their small argument was cut short when Charles and Niylah both took the remaining seats. 

“Good, now you two don’t have a reason to argue anymore.” Anya tapped on Lexa's shoulder, “I’m going in the other bus to watch over the students there. You two stay here.” 

Lexa muttered something under her breath and leaned her body against the side of a student's seat, “It doesn’t bother you that I lean on it?” she asked the student. 

“Not at all.” Lucy replied with a wide smile. 

Clarke grabbed the top of another seat to get a balance and shook her head, “If you had just sat down, we-” 

“Now is not the time to argue like children, Griffin.” Lexa interjected. 

Alex poked Lucy’s shoulder, “You’re right. It reeks love here.” he said, sarcasm seeping into his voice.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Niylah, Nia and Bellamy headed towards the main hall to get the skis and boots while Lexa, Clarke and Charles remained behind with the students. Anya was speaking with the three ski instructors. 

“The snow really is beautiful.” Pike started speaking, his voice almost drowned out by the students’ loud chatter which Clarke wished was louder for the first time in her teaching career. 

Lexa and Clarke didn’t react to his words. Both keeping a watchful eye on the group of students. 

“You know, we didn’t have snow when I was in the army. Strictly mud and rain.” he laughed. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Here we go again.” she mumbled and Lexa discreetly smiled at that. 

“The conditions were extreme but we made it through with determination and a strong mind.” he continued. 

“And a sprained ankle.” Clarke quietly said and Lexa barely managed to contain her laughter. 

“What?” Pike asked. 

“Hm? Nothing.” Clarke smiled, “I was just saying that it sounds like a difficult thing to go through” she lied. 

“It is.” Pike puffed his chest out, “But with enough courage and strength, you can get through anything.” 

This time, Lexa couldn’t hold in her snort. She blushed when Clarke shot her an amused smile and a knowing smile. 

Lexa smirked at Clarke, then turned towards Charles, “Tell me more about the army.” 

Clarke's eyes widened, _“Are you crazy?”_ she mouthed. 

_“I’m bored.”_ Lexa mouthed back. 

Charles smiled brightly, “I am very glad you asked. Oh man, where to start?” 

Clarke shot Lexa a glare. _Now that’s all he'll talk about for the next hour. Great job._ she thought, hoping her thoughts could be understood through her eyes. 

Lexa subtly winked at Clarke before turning towards Charles, “Oh, excuse me but I have to run to the bathroom real quick but you can tell Clarke all about it and she’ll fill me in on what I missed, I’m sure.” 

Clarke's jaw fell and she watched as Lexa walked towards the building, a feeling of betrayal settling inside her chest. _That bitch._  

She could make out the smirk on the brunette's lips as Lexa walked away. _Well played, Woods. Well played, you beautiful asshole._

_\----------_

Lexa smirked when Clarke hit her on the shoulder hard once she joined her next to the chairlifts. 

“You’re such a dickhead for leaving me alone with Pike. I had to listen to him talk about his ‘service’, if we can even call it that, for _twenty freaking minutes._ ” she groaned, “Do you know how exhausting it was?” 

Lexa hummed, “I can imagine. It sucks to be you.” 

Clarke hit her shoulder once more, “I really hate you right now.” 

Lexa smirked, “Don’t worry. I personally hate you all the time.” 

Lexa joked but it didn’t do much to erase the dread she felt at the idea of skiing. The last time she had gone skiing was long ago, on a school trip when she was twelve years old. 

From what she remembered, she was so bad at it that the instructor had transferred her to another group mainly composed of four to eight year olds. Most insulting moment of her entire life. Especially since some four year olds were better than her. 

She didn’t expect much had changed since then and she would most likely make a complete fool out of herself in front of the students and her fellow colleagues. 

“Ready to go?” Anya tapped on her shoulder and Lexa wanted to wipe that smirk of the woman's lips. 

Anya knew very well how bad she was at skiing. She had heard the stories from Lexa's mother who, unfortunately for the brunette, had spared no detail. That day, Lexa had sworn to never tell anything to her mother ever again. That promise to herself had been broken fairly quickly as she had realized that she couldn’t keep anything from the woman. 

“Shut up.” Lexa grumbled. 

The teachers made sure all the students were there and in turn, the students all sat down on chairlifts. Clarke and Lexa remained behind to make sure the last few students weren’t being left behind. 

Lexa made sure her skis were properly attached to her shoes and awkwardly started walking towards the chairlift platform. 

“Need help?” Clarke asked, a smirk on her lips. 

Lexa threw her a glare, “No. I can handle myself just fine, thank you.” 

Clarke hummed, “You just looked like you were struggling, it's all.” she stepped forward and they both sat down when the next chairlift hit the back of their knees. 

Lexa gripped the security bar tightly with both hands as the chairlift started gaining in altitude. She barely moved even as she chanced a glance down, instantly regretting it when a wave of dizziness hit her. She sat straight and closed her eyes, her body stiff and unmoving. 

She flinched when a hand touched her own, sliding against it until it was covering the back of it entirely. She glanced to her right. Clarke was staring straight ahead, eyebrows creased. 

Lexa felt the hand on hers give a small squeeze and she hesitantly started releasing the tight grip she had on the security bar. 

To her surprise, Clarke didn’t release her hand after that, she turned it and intertwined their fingers before wordlessly pulling their joined hands in her lap. 

Lexa flushed red and looked down but didn’t try to free her hand for the remainder of the climb. Lexa's heartbeat accelerated with each brush of Clarke's thumb over the back of her hand and she looked to her left in hopes to hide the blush creeping up her neck. 

Clarke didn’t talk about how nervous Lexa had become when they had started going up and the brunette was thankful for that. 

Her instincts almost made her take hold of Clarke's hand again when the blonde started letting go. Lexa stopped herself before she could grab the woman's hand and she was left with utter confusion and a tingling feeling in her hand. 

“We have to get back to the others.” Clarke said when she noticed that Lexa still hadn’t moved after getting off the chairlift. The older woman was simply looking into the distance with a pensive look. 

Lexa snapped out of her thoughts when the sound of Clarke's voice reached her ears and she managed a nod before silently following after her colleague.

 

 

\----------

 

 

They had been with the students for the better part of the afternoon, except for Lexa who had seized the opportunity to stay inside and therefore away from skiing, when a student fell after only a few minutes, and needed to be helped towards the main building at the bottom of the skiing tracks because of his now sprained ankle. 

She jumped and a gasp pushed past her lips when somebody loudly slammed their hand against the table she was seated at. 

“Jesus.” she placed a hand over her heart. 

“My name’s Clarke but thank you.” the English teacher pulled a chair out and sat across from Lexa, tugging her beanie off and dropping her skiing goggles on the table. 

“Funny.” Lexa dryly said, her eyes falling back to the cup of coffee around which she had wrapped her hands to warm them up. 

“You haven’t really had the chance to go skiing.” Clarke pointed out, “It’s a shame.” 

“Somebody needed to stay with Lucas.” Lexa reminded, nodding towards the student who was resting his leg on a bench a few feet away. 

Clarke hummed and reached across the table, grabbing Lexa's cup and pulling it towards herself before lifting it to her lips. Her face turned into a scowl when the bitter taste of black coffee hit her tongue. 

“How can you even drink this?” she placed it back in front of Lexa. 

“Nobody told you to drink it, Clarke.” Lexa told her, lifting her cup to take a sip herself, “You shouldn’t have touched something that wasn’t yours.” she smirked behind the rim of the cup. 

Clarke stuck her tongue out at her and pushed herself up to order a coffee for herself. 

“It’s really a bummer that you couldn’t go skiing.” she reiterated when she came back, “You faced your fear of heights for nothing.” 

Lexa looked down, “I don’t have a fear of heights.” she uselessly denied. 

“You’re not all that tough, you know?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, “Trying to act all unbothered and unaffected but you're just like the rest of us.” 

“Bland and sensitive?” 

“Didn’t know you thought so highly of me.” Clarke laughed. 

As Lexa took another sip of coffee, Clarke sneakily lifted her phone to take a picture of the woman in front of her. 

“Aww, you almost look cute.” she said, looking down at the result. 

Lexa rolled her eyes but leaned forward nonetheless, her curiosity having been picked, “Delete it. I look awful.” 

Clarke smiled, “You don’t.” she said, honesty in her voice, “But it's quite nice to know that you’re able to show modesty.” 

“I am modest.” 

“Yeah, once every two years maybe.” 

Lexa tried to suppress a smile to no avail. 

Clarke caught sight of it and poked her cheek, “There’s that smile again.” she tried to pinch Lexa's cheek but the brunette swatted her hand away, “Ooh, grumpy.” Clarke laughed and sat back down. 

Lexa felt heat in her cheeks and mentally berated herself. _Get a grip,_ she thought. She took a sip of her coffee, then pulled out her notebook, already planning out her future lessons. 

Clarke snatched her pen away from her hand and ignored the brunette’s wide eyes, “Nope. No working while here.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes and rummaged through her bag for another pen but Clarke stole that one too, “Seriously?” Lexa asked in annoyance. 

“Yes.” Clarke smiled, “You know what? Since you didn’t get to go skiing today, we’re going back right now.” 

“What?” 

“You heard me, Woods. Get you pretty ass off that chair.” she said while getting up, “And don’t forget your skis.” 

“What about the students?” Lexa tried. 

“The others can handle it without us. The students have been well-behaved so far and I don’t expect it’ll change.” 

Lexa wanted to protest further but Clarke's hand grabbed her own and tugged her up and on her feet. 

“Don’t forget your skis.” the blonde said while putting on her beanie and gloves, “I’m gonna let Anya and Niylah know that we’ll come back to the hotel a bit later.” 

Lexa offered a smile but it dropped as soon as the blonde was out of sight, “Fuck me.” she mumbled, pulling her beanie down to cover her ears.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“Where are Ms. Woods and Ms. Griffin?” Lucy asked when the group walked back towards one of the buses. 

“They stayed behind a bit longer to go skiing some more. Come on students, hurry up!” Anya yelled. 

Lucy wiggled her eyebrows at Alex, “Hear that? They stayed behind to go skiing some more.”

“It doesn’t mean anything.” the boy huffed. 

“It means _everything.”_ Lucy argued, “Can you imagine them, sliding down the tracks hand in hand, with the sun setting behind them and the-” 

“I think you're a bit too caught up in this whole fantasy that you’ve created in your head.” 

“Not a fantasy.” Lucy said, “You’ll see.” 

“Still waiting.” Alex grinned as he pulled out his phone from his bag and put on earphones.

 

 

\---------

 

 

“Why are you so stiff?” Clarke asked when they reached the top of the skiing track, “Is it because of the chairlift?” 

Lexa was surprised to note that there wasn’t an ounce of mockery in Clarke's voice. If anything, she sounded slightly concerned. 

“I just…” Lexa sighed and flushed red as she spoke, “Imjustreallybadatskiing” she said very quickly, without enunciating the words clearly. 

“What was that?” Clarke asked with a smirk. 

“I suck at skiing, okay?” Lexa repeated, ducking her head. 

Clarke's voice lost its teasing tone when her hand reached out to catch hold of Lexa's, “I’ll teach you.” 

Lexa was surprised to not hear a snarky reply from her colleague. Surprised, but pleasantly so, “Okay.” she quietly said, letting herself be led a bit further down the ski track, where the slope wasn’t so steep, ever so careful to walk perpendicularly to the track as to not slide down. 

Neither of them commented on the fact that they had now been holding hands for far longer than necessary. Neither of them made any move to let go either. They were eventually forced to when they arrived at the top of the skiing track. Clarke gave Lexa's hand one last squeeze before releasing it. 

“Okay, so it really isn’t that hard.” she started saying, stepping in front of Lexa, “Always remember to keep your knees slightly bent and lean forward.” 

“Clarke, if I lean forward, I’ll fall.” Lexa said, looking down at the slope. 

“General belief makes you think that but it’s false. The length of the skis makes it very unlikely for you to fall forward. Leaning back is a bad idea and might make you lose control of the skis.” 

Lexa didn’t seem convinced but eventually had to trust the younger woman's knowledge and obvious experience, “Okay…” 

“To stop, use the snowplow technique.” 

“Why are you saying this as if I know what we're talking about?” 

Clarke laughed at the confused crease between Lexa's brows, “Like this.” she demonstrated, pointing the front tips of her skis close together and pushing the heels out, creating a 90 degree angle. 

Lexa looked on attentively and tried to recreate it with her own skis. An abrupt and clumsy movement made her skis slide against the snow and she let out a loud surprised noise when she started sliding backwards. 

Clarke grabbed Lexa's jacket and pulled her back towards herself, “Where are you trying to escape to, huh?” 

“I suck at this.” Lexa complained once more, “Why are we even wasting our time doing it?” 

“It’s not a waste of time.” Clarke argued, “Now, come on. We’ll try this track. It’s one of the easiest.” 

“ _That_ is one of the easiest?” Lexa's eyes widened when she looked down. 

“Second easiest but you’re old enough to try this one.” Clarke explained, “This is a blue track. The easiest one being the green one and the hardest one being the black one.” 

“Who even does the black ones?” 

“Me sometimes.” Clarke shrugs. 

“I always knew you were weird and borderline crazy but this is on a whole new level.” 

Clarke laughed loudly and punched Lexa's shoulder, “Asshole.” she said with a wide grin, “You won’t be laughing much longer.” 

“Oh, I know. Rest assured.” Lexa said, “This is just my way of stalling.” 

“Well, no more stalling.” Clarke announced, “We’re going now.” she walked a bit forward, inviting Lexa to join her, “I'll go first. Look at the way I do it and then you’ll go. We’ll stop next to the flag over there.” she pointed in the distance. 

Lexa nodded, not having much of a choice anyway. She watched as Clarke expertly glided down the track, not an ounce of hesitation in her movements. 

“Your turn!” Clarke yelled, hands around her mouth, when she reached the aforementioned flag. 

Lexa felt her nerves growing and she took a deep breath, eyes fixed on her goal. _The red flag. It isn’t that far. I can do it,_ she told herself. 

She hesitated long seconds and Clarke gave her a thumbs up from afar, “You can do this! Come on! Don’t be a pussy, Woods!” 

Lexa squinted her eyes and moved forward. Her eyes widened and her arms started moving up and down as soon as she started sliding down the slope. 

She remembered Clarke's previous advice and leaned forward before bending her knees. She avoided, but not by much, falling ungraciously on her butt. 

Panic settled inside her chest once she had almost reached the red flag. She tried to do the _snowplow technique_ , as Clarke had called it, but she couldn’t get her skis in the right position and eventually lost her balance, falling down and rolling the last few meters. 

Clarke was beside her in an instant, “Are you okay?” the blonde asked, helping her up. Lexa could hear the blonde was trying to muffle her laughter. 

Lexa's cheeks reddened and she looked away, “You can laugh. I know you're dying to.” she wiped at her pants, now covered in snow. 

A small laugh escaped Clarke's lips and she instantly apologized for it, though she started laughing harder less than a second later. 

“I’m gonna go back to the hotel.” 

“No, wait.” Clarke grabbed her arm, “I’m not letting you leave until you’ve learned how to ski.” 

“Griffin…” Lexa sighed, “It was embarrassing enough the first time. I do not wish to relive this experience.” 

“I’m sure with some practice you'll be skiing like a pro.” 

“Now you’re just lying. I don't enjoy being lied to, Griffin.” Lexa made to unclasp her skis but Clarke grabbed her arms and clicked her tongue. 

“No.” was all she said. 

“What do you mean _no?”_ Lexa asked, irritation clear in her voice, “You can’t just tell me what to do.” 

“Yes, I can.” Clarke retorted and it made one of Lexa's eyebrows jump up.

“You’re full of yourself.” 

“And you’re too stubborn for your own good.” 

“I hate you.” 

“I hate you too.” Clarke smiled, “But it doesn't change the fact that we’re going back up there and trying this slope again.” 

“You’re a pain in my ass.” 

“And what a nice ass.” Clarke wiggled her eyebrows. 

Lexa was left speechless. Eyes wide and mouth opening and closing like a fish. 

“Very eloquent.” Clarke commented before starting the climb back up the slope. 

Lexa grumbled something under her breath but followed after her colleague nonetheless.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Lexa let herself drop down on the ground, the snow pillowing her fall, “I hate skiing so much.” she thought out loud. 

Clarke laughed and took off her skis before coming to lie down next to her colleague, “At least you got better at it.” 

“Barely.” 

Clarke smiled and noted that it was already nearing 6pm, “We should get back to the hotel. Anya said we would spend the evening in her room with Niylah and Bellamy while some students go in the town center with Nia and Charles.” 

Lexa pushed herself up and grabbed her skis to carry them back to the main building, “Let’s go then.” 

She didn’t notice the way Clarke smiled when she saw her walk awkwardly in the snow with the heavy skiing shoes on.

 

 

\----------

 

 

“You were gone for a long time.” Anya pointed out, leaning against the wall outside her room. 

“I was learning how to ski.”

Anya raised an eyebrow. 

“Clarke tried to teach me.” Lexa shrugged as if it was no big deal. 

Anya hummed and a smirk drew itself on her lips, “I’m sure she did.” 

Lexa huffed, “When will you stop? I’m serious, Anya. I’m tired of you trying to mess with my life like that.” 

“I didn’t say anything.” Anya shot back in a defensive voice. 

Lexa sighed, “Yes you did. And you always do and keep saying it's for my own good but I’m tired of it. I’m not going to get in a relationship.” 

“Because you just won’t allow yourself to even try!” Anya insisted, “How can you even know that it isn't something you want?” 

Lexa's throat constricted, “Because I know what I feel. Stop pretending to know what's good for me. You keep treating me as if I’m a child who can’t make choices for herself.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” 

“But that's what it feels like. I’m twenty-seven. I don’t need some kind of babysitter telling me what to do.”

With that, she stormed off, wiping at a traitorous tear as she walked down the hallway to her room.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Clarke frowned when Anya walked inside the room without Lexa in tow, “Where’s Lexa?” she asked.

Anya looked down, a look of guilt passing over her features, “She went to her room. She said she was tired.” 

Clarke noticed how Anya didn’t look her in the eyes when she explained the reason of her friend’s absence. The English teacher pushed herself off the ground, “I think I’m going to go see how she’s doing.” she explained. 

Anya opened her mouth to protest, “Maybe she would want to be left alone.” she tried, knowing Lexa might be in a bad mood at the moment. 

“You don't want to stay?” Bellamy asked with wide, almost pleading eyes. 

“Maybe some other night.” she gave him an apologetic look, then turned towards Anya, “And I think I could convince her to let me stay.” she smiled before leaving the room.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Lexa heard the unmistakable sound of a knock against the wooden door. She groaned, “Leave me alone, Anya.” she shouted, her voice nearly muffled by the covers. 

She heard the noise of the door being open with the keycard and silently cursed Clarke who was the only one who could have given Anya the key. 

“I said I didn’t want to talk with-” 

She stopped speaking, words dying in her throat when, instead of Anya, it was Clarke standing by the door of their shared room. 

“Hey.” the woman quietly said. 

“What are you doing here?” Lexa asked, hurriedly wiping at her eyes which Clarke could now see were filled with tears. 

“Anya said you weren’t going to come because you were tired-”

Lexa scoffed at that. 

“-and I wanted to check up on you, I guess.” 

“What, cause now you care?” Lexa said in a harsh tone. 

She wanted to take those words back when she saw the flash of hurt that passed through Clarke's eyes. She wanted to but her stupid ego made her refrain from doing so. 

“I do care.” Clarke said, her tone more gentle than Lexa had ever heard it, a contrast to the fire of determination in blue eyes, “That's why I’m here right now and not with the others.” 

Lexa swallowed heavily and she buried herself deeper in the blankets when Clarke moved closer, as if to hide herself and shield herself from the English teacher and from showing even the tiniest bit of vulnerability to someone other than Anya or her family.

She felt the dip of the bed under Clarke's weight. She didn't turn around to look at Clarke despite a strong urge to just steal a glance at her. 

“I know we don’t have that kind of... _friendship_..” she tried the word, saying it almost in fear of Lexa's reaction. When there was none, she continued, “But I’m here if you need to talk…” 

Lexa didn’t reply instantly and Clarke was about to ask whether the brunette would prefer for her to leave her alone, when a small voice reached her ears, “Thank you.” 

Her lips curled upwards, “Just so you know, this doesn't change anything. I still hate you.” She heard Lexa laugh quietly and smiled. 

“I hate you too.” the French teacher replied almost instantly. 

It wasn’t until twenty silent minutes later that Lexa spoke again, her words quiet and unsure. 

“It was because of Anya.” 

Clarke turned her head to look at her, “What was?” she closed her sketchbook and turned her body so that it was facing her colleague. 

“Me ditching the gathering and coming here.” Lexa explained, “She keeps trying to mess with my love life or rather lack thereof. I’m just exhausted.” 

“Have you told her that you didn’t want her to do that?” 

“Many times.” Lexa sighed and brushed a hand over her face, “She just won’t let it go.” 

“She cares about you.” 

“I wish she would show it in a different way.” Lexa said, eyes closed, “And Lincoln is pretty much the same whenever we all get together. When I’m alone with him, it’s not that bad, though. I just need a break.” 

“But how come she still annoys you with it even though you've expressed how bothersome it was to you?”

“Because it’s Anya and she thinks she knows best what’s good for me.” 

“That's just stupid.” Clarke thought out loud, “How can one assume to know better than the person affected?”

“It’s Anya. That’s just how she is. And it comes from a good intention but it’s just repetitive and annoying.” she sighed. 

Clarke's hand moved across the mattress and she slowly and delicately lowered it on top of Lexa's, giving the French teacher the chance to move away if she wanted to. 

To her surprise, instead of yanking her hand away, Lexa turned her hand and intertwined their fingers. 

“If you mention this to anyone, you won’t live to see another day.” Lexa said. 

Clarke laughed, “Duly noted.”

 

 

** Wednesday 02/07/18 **

 

 

Clarke didn't remember falling asleep. That’s why she was surprised to wake up to the sun peeking through the window of the hotel room. 

She felt warmth in her hand and realized that hers and Lexa's hand were still joined at their sides which was surprising considering how much Clarke usually moved around in her sleep. 

She untangled her fingers from Lexa's, immediately feeling the loss of contact and surprised to feel disappointment. She brushed it off and pushed herself off the bed. 

Lexa stirred in her sleep but remained deeply asleep, her lips parted and her now free hand was clutching at the blonde's pillow, probably unconsciously in search of the lost contact of her hand. 

Clarke chanced a look at her colleague. It was amazing to her how unaffected Lexa always made herself seem to be around their colleagues when in fact, she cared just as much as the others, if not more. She wondered what had made Lexa think she had to act so guarded around others. Maybe it was simply a characteristic trait or maybe it ran deeper than that. She believed it was the latter but honestly, Lexa was just a complete mystery to her. Everytime she thought she had her figured out, a new layer was added to the pile and it became impossible to distinguish the real from the pretense. 

She wanted to pierce through the barriers Lexa had undeniably built around herself. She wanted to dig deep enough to hit and reach the core of who the older woman was. She wanted to see Lexa's true colors and not the ones the brunette was conveniently hiding behind as a means to protect herself from whatever harm she dreaded. 

As she observed Lexa, she couldn't help but notice how young and peaceful the woman looked while sleeping. Her fingers itched with the urge to draw the woman or to touch her. She honestly didn't know which one she’d rather do most right now. She shook her head and put some distance between herself and the brunette. 

“What are you doing?” she whispered to herself as she grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Lexa released her tight grip on the pillow as her eyes fluttered open. She blindly reached for her phone on the nightstand, cursing under her breath when she knocked her glasses case off the piece of furniture. 

She groaned and shifted on the bed to pick it up, then let her back drop back heavily on the mattress. 

“Claaarke.” she said, her voice muffled by the mattress. 

She huffed when she heard no reply. The sound of the water running reached her ears and she realized the blonde was taking a shower. 

She let her eyelids drop once more and nearly fell back into a deep slumber when the bathroom door flew open and Clarke stepped out, droplets of water dripping from the tips of her hair and onto the wooden floor. 

“You’re wetting the floor.” Lexa said, mouth half covered by the pillow which she was fairly sure she had drooled on on more than one occasion during the night. 

“And you’re wetting the pillow with your drool.” Clarke teased, confirming Lexa's suspicions. 

She wiped at her mouth but didn’t move from her position, “There.” she mumbled sleepily. 

Clarke climbed on the bed and covered Lexa's body with her own, “You have to get up.” 

Lexa groaned, “You’re crushing me.” she complained, “And you're putting water all over me _and_ the bed.” 

Clarke smiled, “Am I?” 

Lexa didn’t have the strength nor the willpower to push Clarke away so they just lay there, Clarke on top of her, for five more minutes until the blonde decided to start poking her cheek repeatedly. 

“You’re annoying.” Lexa said, eyes still closed, “Has anyone ever told you this?” 

“Many times.” 

“You’re way too close. I don’t like close proximity.” 

“Not even with your favorite colleague?” Clarke asked, arms resting on the brunette's chest. 

“If you’re talking about yourself, I’m sorry to break it down to you like that and to destroy your hopes and dreams but my favorite colleague is Anya.” she said, pushing Clarke off her. 

The English teacher laughed, “Keep lying to yourself, Woods.” 

Lexa finally got up and grumpily tugged on her jeans, “Can’t we sleep some more? The students can handle being on their own for a bit.” 

“First of all, that’s highly irresponsible. Second of all, today's going to be fun. Cheer up a little.” 

Lexa offered the least genuine smile she could master, “I’m barely containing my excitement right now. What is even the plan for today?” 

“Visit of some villages.” Clarke answered, “Rest assured, we paid for guides to do the tour for us. And the students will be given some free time to buy souvenirs and such so that means we’ll get some free time as well.” 

Lexa nodded, “I guess it could be worse.” 

She turned her back to Clarke and peeled off her sleeping shirt to throw on a sleeveless button up. She heard a sharp intake of breath behind her and craned her neck to see Clarke staring intently at her back. 

“Something wrong, Griffin?” she raised an eyebrow questioningly. 

“You have a tattoo.” Clarke stated the obvious, fingers itching to reach out and trace down the tattoo. 

It covered the whole length of Lexa's spine and was a succession of circles and chinese symbols that Clarke couldn’t understand the meaning of but found beautiful nonetheless. 

Lexa hummed, “I got it on my nineteenth birthday.” 

“It’s beautiful.” Clarke stepped closer, hand raised in the air but not quite touching the other woman, “Can I?” she all but whispered. 

Lexa swallowed and nodded. There was a shift in the air that surrounded them. All of a sudden, the room grew hot, along with both their cheeks, now flushed, covered in a slight pink which Lexa hoped to hide by dipping her head. The air grew heavy and became filled with an unspoken tension, the silence hanging heavily between them. 

In the few seconds it took for Clarke's fingers to press gently against the skin of her back, Lexa's brain started working faster, images mixing and bumping together in a mess of thoughts and feelings. 

She ignored it. At least she tried to. She didn’t want to feel that way. Hadn’t wanted to and hadn’t felt that way in months. In a little under a year if she was being precise. 

She couldn’t stop the sigh that escaped her lips when Clarke's fingers _finally_ touched her overheated skin. The tension left her shoulders at the soft glide of fingers along her spine. 

“It’s beautiful.” Clarke repeated, “Does it mean something?” 

Lexa swallowed heavily. After one too many seconds of silence, Clarke retracted her hand and stepped away. 

“You don't have to tell me. Sorry” she quietly said before grabbing her jacket and stepping out of the room. 

Lexa's mind registered the clicking sound of the door but she was still standing motionless. Her hands had yet to release their hold on her shirt and her eyebrows were scrunched up together, eyes glued to an unmoving spot that was in her line of vision. She was looking at it, without really looking at it.

This couldn’t be. Lexa Woods didn’t do feelings. She wouldn’t allow it. She snapped out of her static state and threw the sleeping shirt on the bed before buttoning her shirt with trembling hands, “Fuck.” she muttered when she couldn’t quite get the third button into the hole. 

_What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck,_ were the only words running through her mind, silencing all other minor thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 


	6. "You're different."

 

 

“Lexa, I’m sorry I asked about your tattoo.” Clarke instantly said when the brunette joined them downstairs, “I should have thought about the fact that you maybe didn't want to tell me or-”

“Each circle represents someone that I’ve loved and lost.” Lexa replied without missing a beat.

Clarke's lips parted slightly, “There were six circles.” she remembered.

“There were.” was all Lexa provided as an answer, swallowing heavily.

Clarke didn't ask anything else. She stepped closer and lifted her arms to engulf Lexa in a hug which surprised the woman if the sharp intake of breath she took was anything to go by.

Lexa blushed when she saw a few students looking their way and she ever so gently took Clarke's arms and pulled them off her body, “Students are staring.” she explained when she saw the small crease between Clarke's brow and the hint of hurt tainting blue eyes.

“Oh, okay.” Clarke said. She had entirely forgotten where they were standing and who were around them, “Sorry.”

Lexa gave a simple nod and cleared her throat. She saw a few students still looking their way and her blush intensified.

“Thank you for telling me, by the way.” Clarke said.

Lexa shrugged, “You’re welcome, I guess. Now we can just go back to hating each other cause I don’t do sappy.”

“Sure.” Clarke bumped her shoulder against Lexa's, then walked off, her lips curled into a smile.

Lexa’s eyes followed the blonde until she was out of sight.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Lucy smirked in victory and she shoved her phone in Alex’s face, “See that? That’s the proof of my imminent victory.”

A video of Clarke hugging Lexa was playing on the device. Alex rolled his eyes, “Friends hug too, you know.”

“Not like that.” Lucy argued, “I don’t know about you but I don’t hug my friends like _that.”_

“I don't either.” Alex scoffed.

“Don’t look so disgusted by the idea of it.”

“Boys don’t hug each other.” Alex shrugged.

“That’s a dumb way of thinking if you ask me. And it’s exactly why y’all feel unloved.”

Alex laughed, “Right.”

“You need some love. Come here.” Lucy leaned closer and gave him a sideways hug, pressing their cheeks together, “Isn’t it nice?”

“I guess…” Alex replied, cheeks flushed.

“Now admit that Ms.Griffin is in love with Ms.Woods.”

“No one said anything about them being in love.” Alex pointed out, “You just said they were into each other _which they're not.”_ he specified when he saw the smile on Lucy's lips.

“You’re no fun.”

 

 

\------------

 

 

Lexa finished explaining the rules in vigor within the village before letting the students to their own devices for the next hour and a half. It would give the teachers somewhat of a breather.

Anya gave each group of students a map to make sure they didn’t get lost. As pointed out by some students, it was rather useless since nearly the entirety of students had access to google maps on their phones. Anya rolled her eyes and muttered something about teenagers not being able to handle themselves in the real world if they didn’t have their phones with them.

Lexa was silently making her way down the main street when she felt a sudden weight, added brutally on her back.

“Where are we going?” Clarke asked close to her ear.

Lexa carefully put Clarke back on the ground, “ _I’m_ going to eat something.” she emphasized the first word.

“Can I come with?”

Lexa bit her lip, a rejection lingering on the tip of her tongue. Her mind screamed at her to just say no.

“Yes.”

 _You idiot,_ she thought instantly.

Clarke's face lit up and the blonde grabbed her arm but Lexa jerked it away. She ignored the flash of confusion in blue eyes and picked up her pace a little.

“You’re walking too fast.” Clarke complained as she tried to keep up with Lexa's fast rhythm.

“You’re walking too slow.” Lexa countered, accelerating her pace even more and smiling to herself when she heard Clarke whine in protest.

She sat in the back of what seemed to be a small diner and she waited for Clarke to catch up with her.

“I hate you.” were the first words out of Clarke's mouth when she reached the table, “I’m not as fit as you are.”

“Clearly.”

Clarke's jaw fell open, “You're such a jerk.”

Lexa picked up the menu, “Oh, excuse me. Did you expect me to contradict you and compliment you? Cause I don’t do that.”

Clarke dropped down on the chair, “I guess I should have known.”

“You should have.” Lexa simply said, not looking up from the menu.

A waiter walked up to their table and pulled out a pen from his apron before clicking it and bringing the tip on the paper of his small notebook, “Can I get you anything?”

Lexa hummed, “A caesar salad with some water.”

“That’s all you’re eating?” Clarke's eyebrows shot up. Lexa simply hummed, picking up her napkin, “You’re weird.” the blonde commented.

“What about you, beautiful?” the waiter smirked at Clarke as he spoke and Lexa momentarily wished she hadn’t been able to hear that. She also wished she had missed the way his eyes had dipped to her colleague's cleavage. She gripped her napkin tighter, crumpling it, and she clenched her teeth.

“A cheeseburger with extra fries.” Clarke replied, smiling at the look of pure horror on Lexa's face, “Learn how to live a little.”

“If living means eating such junk that I'll die at 35 years old of a cardiovascular disease, I don’t want it.”

Clarke nearly choked on air as she laughed, “Very optimistic.”

“I’m known for being a very positive person. I thought you’d know that by now.” Lexa deadpanned.

The waiter stood awkwardly beside them, waiting for the moment he could speak again without being interruptive, “And would you like something to drink?” he asked with a winning smile, his question only being directed at Clarke _-at Clarke's breasts, if we're being precise-,_ much to Lexa's annoyance.

Clarke seemed to only now remember his presence, “Uh, a coke, please.”

“You’re definitely gonna die young.” Lexa mumbled.

“I’d rather live 35 amazing years than 90 boring ones.” Clarke said, “To each their own, I guess.”

While she spoke, she didn’t seem to notice the way the waiter’s eyes roved over her body, taking in every curve, blatantly checking her out. Lexa definitely did notice, though. And she was pissed.

“Can you leave now?” she asked, somewhat rudely.

He scowled and moved back to the front of the diner, not without throwing an obscene look in Clarke's direction.

“What was that for?” Clarke asked, eyebrows knitted.

“Maybe you didn’t notice but he clearly cared more for your chest than for doing his job properly.” Lexa angrily said, trying to smoothen the crinkles in her napkin.

“I did notice, Lexa.” Clarke calmly said.

Lexa frowned, “Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because it serves no purpose at all. It isn’t the first time it has happened and it won’t be the last. I'm tired of it too but you know nothing will be done about it. I’ve just learned to overlook it.”

It didn’t sit well with Lexa. Her eyes were glued to the intricate design carved into the wood of the table. She traced it with her fingers just to have something to distract herself with.

“Stop thinking so much. You’ll hurt your brain.”

“How can you just accept it?” Lexa finally said, “Being objectified like this, looked at like some...some piece of meat.” she huffed in frustration.

“I know my worth, Lexa. At least this one kept his hands to himself.”

“But that’s not…” Lexa huffed at her inability to form coherent sentences, _“Putain de merde.”_ the French slur slipped from her lips.

“I don't know what that means but it sounded awfully like curse words.” Clarke pointed out, “Why are you so affected by this anyway? I’m the one he was checking out.”

“Because…” Lexa couldn’t finish that sentence. She herself had no idea what the reason behind her anger was, “Because it’s wrong.” she defended herself.

The waiter came back, cockiness clear in his steps and he smugly lowered their drinks to the table before leaving, a pretentious smile on his lips.

Lexa stared at her glass without saying anything. A tense silence had settled upon them and she knew it was her fault but she refused to acknowledge it.

“Lex.”

Lexa's heart jumped in her chest at the use of the nickname but she didn’t look up. Had it been anyone else, she would have undoubtedly corrected them and demanded that they use her full name. But then again, Clarke wasn’t just anyone.

“Lex, why do you care so much about something so trivial? I would understand if he had touched me but-”

“It’s not trivial.” Lexa argued, “Maybe you see it that way but I don't and I don’t understand you.”

Clarke was at loss for words.

“I just don’t understand how men can feel so entitled to women that they believe women owe them something. That they feel they have the right to pull that kind of shit. That everytime a beautiful woman is nearby, it gives them the right to ogle and...and act like animals.”

Clarke reached out with her hand and hesitantly lowered it on Lexa's, “It’s kind of you to try and defend my honor or other women’s, but I assure you that I don’t need it.”

Lexa pulled her hand away. It was getting too much. The feeling of Clarke's skin on hers, the way blue eyes gazed into her own, the raspy, gravelly sound of Clarke's voice.

“I need some air.” she said before rising from her seat and walking out.

Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but closed it instantly after. Lexa's reaction was odd. She expected the woman to make a snarky comment but she didn’t think it would affect the brunette that much.

She rose from her seat abruptly after some hesitation, dropped a couple bills on the table _-just in case she didn’t return-,_ and sought out the waiter to tell him that she'd normally be back in a couple minutes.

“Alright, sweetheart.” he smiled and low-whistled when she walked away.

Clarke ignored it and pushed the building’s door open. Lexa was sitting on a bench a few feet away, a cigarette lit up in her right hand.

The brunette brought the cigarette to her lips, hollowed out her cheeks and waited only a brief moment before slowly blowing the smoke into the air.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Clarke said, startling the woman.

“I usually don’t.” Lexa simply answered, “I haven’t in months.”

With that, she raised the cigarette to her lips and took another puff. Her eyes remained fixed on a spot ahead of her.

“Then why now?” Clarke took a seat next to her and crossed her arms across her chest, the chilly air causing chills to travel down her arms.

“I don’t know.” Lexa answered, “I guess I thought it would solve something but this shit is disgusting and doesn’t do anything.”

“And yet you’re still smoking.” Clarke pointed out with an easy smile.

“Very contradictory, I know. Maybe I’m hoping that at some point, something will happen. People who say smoking is relaxing are just liars.”

“It might be relaxing to them.” Clarke said, then shook her head and a small laugh escaped when Lexa hummed non-committedly.

“Want some?” Lexa offered, presenting the cigarette to her colleague.

Clarke shook her head, “I don’t smoke.”

“Neither do I.” Lexa replied instantly.

“Maybe we should go back inside, yeah?” the blonde suggested, “Finish our meal at least? We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to.”

“Okay.” Lexa said after a long moment of silence. She threw away her cigarette and stepped on it to put it out.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Clarke gasped when she felt a hand on her ass upon exiting the restaurant once they had finished eating. She swung around and was met with the same waiter, his eyes obscenely moving over her body.

“You really shouldn’t have done that.” Clarke mumbled quietly.

“What was that, princess?”

“First of all, don’t call me that.” she said, “Second of all, just because I haven’t said anything when you disrespected me before doesn't mean you have the right to touch me. Keep your filthy hands to yourself.”

The waiter smirked, completely ignoring the threat in Clarke's eyes. As soon as the woman turned back around, his hand flew to her backside once more.

He barely had time to see anything before Lexa's fist strongly connected with his jaw, sending him to the ground. The commotion drew other patrons’ attention and Lexa heard them whisper among themselves.

 _Now they have something to say,_ she bitterly thought.

The owner of the diner walked towards them and asked them to leave the building immediately or else he would call the cops for assault.

Lexa tried to argue that it was the waiter’s fault, that he asked for it, but Clarke was already pulling her outside, “You’re making it worse.” she told Lexa as she dragged her out.

“Why did you pull me outside?” Lexa asked, clearly still pissed off.

Clarke’s calmness and gentleness when she took Lexa's hand in her own was a striking contrast to Lexa's current attitude, “Let me check your hand.” she all but murmured, ignoring Lexa's question.

Lexa let her. With anyone else, she would have yanked her hands away and walked off. Then again, had it been anyone other than Clarke, she wasn’t sure she would have went as far as punching the guy.

That thought scared her. She stepped backwards abruptly, “I shouldn't have done that.”

“I agree.” Clarke simply said.

“That’s it?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shrugged, “I can’t exactly shout at you and point fingers when you did it to save my honor. You weren't in the wrong.”

“I did it because he was being a pig.” Lexa argued, “Would have done it for anyone else.” the lie slipped easily from her lips, as if rehearsed.

“See, I think that’s where you’re lying.” Clarke said, putting on her gloves, “I think you don’t want to admit that you and I share a bond, of what kind, I don’t know, but it’s there.”

“It isn’t.” Lexa denied. It was easier to deny everything than it was to admit the scary truth that she was growing attached to the blonde teacher, “We’re colleagues. That’s...that’s all.”

“You keep telling yourself that.” Clarke said, “I’m heading back to the cathedral until the students come back.”

“Okay.” Lexa simply said. What else was there to say?

 

 

\------------

 

 

Someone sat beside her on the retaining wall near the cathedral and Clarke looked up. Her eyes met Niylah’s and she gave a small nod of acknowledgement.

“How are you enjoying the trip so far?”

“It’s nice.” Clarke gave a kind smile, “It’s a nice change from school.”

“Tell me about it. I feel like I haven’t properly enjoyed a day off in years.” Niylah chuckled.

Clarke smiled.

“It’s been some time since we've talked.” Niylah pointed out, “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Lexa lately.”

“Yeah.” Clarke simply said, “She can be really nice, you know. When she wants to be.”

“I have to admit that I have a hard time believing that.”

“Yeah. I know most people see her as insensitive. I would be lying if I said I didn’t think that at first too.”

“What changed?”

“I got to know her. Kind of. She’s still pretty closed off.” Clarke thought out loud, “But I’m getting there, I think.”

“If you ask me, I don’t think someone like her would ever fully open up to anyone.”

“Maybe there's a reason behind that.”

“Or maybe that’s just how she is and you’re wasting your time.”

Clarke frowned, “Even if that was case, I personally don't think I’m wasting my time. She’s funny, you know.”

“I don’t.” Niylah argued, “Haven’t exactly had the chance to spend time with her and find out exactly how _funny_ she is.”

The slight resentment and jealousy in Niylah's voice was lost on Clarke and the blonde merely kept her gaze on a group of teenagers laughing a bit further.

“I don’t think she would willingly hang out with colleagues.” she remarked, “I’m surprised she even let me in in the first place.”

Niylah hummed, clearly uninterested and unbothered to know more about their mutual colleague, “Want to go for a walk?” she asked.

Clarke checked her watch, “Students will be back in ten minutes. We better be here when they do.” she let her down gently.

“Oh okay.” Niylah said, attempting to hide her disappointment behind a well-practiced smile.

 

 

\----------

 

 

Clarke pulled out her sketchbook to draw while the students were visiting small houses from the Middle Ages. The smallness of the houses only allowed for a group of fifteen people to enter at once, hence why they and most other students had stayed behind for the moment.

Her eyes caught sight of Lexa's figure, sitting down on a bench a few feet away and scribbling in her notebook. Without much hesitation, as if instinctively, Clarke brought down the tip of her pencil on the paper and started sliding it across the page, trying to recreate what she was seeing as accurately as possible.

She lost track of time and soon, the students were filing out of the house they had been visiting. She shut her book abruptly but not quickly enough. One of her students had caught a glimpse of the unfinished drawing.

“Was that Ms. Woods?” Lucy asked, a smile on her lips.

“Uh, yes. Yeah, it was.”

“It’s very beautifully drawn.” Lucy said, a smug look appearing on her features. Clarke didn’t understand the reason behind said look but she brushed it off, “You should give it to her.”

“Oh, no. It’s not finished yet and besides, she wouldn’t like it, I think.” she stammered out, cheeks heating up as a blush crept up to the forefront.

“I think she'd love it.” Lucy countered, “She once spent a whole class talking about the beauty of art and how admirative she was of people who could create something beautiful out of nothing.”

“She did?”

“Well, I’m failing French so my comprehension skills are rather low, but I’m pretty confident that’s what she said.”

“You’re failing French?”

Clarke chose to focus on that rather than the other piece of information she had been given, not ready to dive into that just yet, let alone with a student.

“Nothing some studying can’t fix.” Lucy shrugged, “I was serious about the drawing. You should give it to her. I’m sure she’d appreciate it.”

Clarke's fingers tightened ever so perceptively around her sketchbook and she nodded somewhat hesitantly, “Maybe I will.”

With that, her student ran off to get back to her friends on the stairs leading to the cathedral’s entrance. Clarke rolled her eyes because they had specifically asked students not to sit there.

She lifted the cover of her sketchbook and took a closer look at her unfinished drawing. A short glance up was all she needed to see that Lexa had only slightly shifted her position since earlier and that’s all it took to convince Clarke to try and finish the drawing.

Whether she would actually give it to Lexa was a question that would have to be left unanswered for the time being.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“Ready?” Bellamy asked Clarke as they slipped on their skiing shoes.

“I’ve been born ready.” she replied with a smile, securing her goggles on the top of her head, over her beanie.

“Maybe after we can grab a coffee or something?”

Clarke clenched her eyes and slipped on her gloves one by one before turning to look at him, “I can’t.” she feigned an apologetic look, “I promised someone I would spend the evening with them.”

“Who?”

Clarke paused. She didn’t expect him to question her any further. In her hurry, she gave the first name she could think of, “Lexa.”

 _Why the fuck had she said Lexa's name?_ She mentally scolded herself, telling herself that she should have picked Niylah if she wanted her lie to be corroborated by the other person. Lexa would most likely refuse to play along.

“Lexa?”

“Lexa Woods. French teacher.” Clarke answered, burying herself deeper into this lie, “We’re... _friends.”_ she tested the word on her tongue, “I guess.” she added quietly because she honestly had no idea what she and Lexa were to each other.

He seemed to doubt the veracity of her claims, “Friends? I mean, you’ve been spending time together but I didn’t think she was capable of making friends.”

Clarke frowned, “You’re really an asshole, has anybody ever told you that?” she picked up her skis and walked out of the building.

“What? Everybody thinks like me!” he defended himself.

“Then everyone is an asshole. Good to know.” Clarke retorted, “You have a group of students to take care of.” she nodded towards the students standing expectantly a few feet behind him.

With that, she walked away as fast as those damn shoes would allow her to. She came to stand next to Lexa, “Hey.”

The brunette snapped her head to the side and gave a sharp nod, “Hello.”

“You’re nervous.” the blonde noted.

“I'm not.” Lexa denied.

“You're two seconds away from running back inside and locking yourself up in a room for the next three hours.” Clarke accused with a smirk.

“I'll ignore how much of a coward you think I am and simply point out that it would be impossible for me to run in those shoes.”

“Always so focused on technicalities.” Clarke clicked her tongue, “You did good yesterday when we practiced together.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow at that, “I don’t like being lied to, Griffin.” she jutted her chin up and wiped some snow off her beanie before putting it on.

“I wasn’t lying.”

Lexa looked at her for a brief second before focusing back on the ski track ahead, “Then you are an awful observer. I suck at skiing. Always have, always will.”

“I think you’re wrong.”

“I’m never wrong.”

“Right, I forgot that part.” Clarke said with a knowing smile, “You did make progress. You just refuse to see it for whatever reason.”

“Some five year olds are better than I am.” Lexa lamented, “I have a reputation to maintain and sliding down this death trap,” she pointed at the skiing track, “is going to ruin it entirely.”

“A reputation?”

“You might not have noticed but people are generally scared of me. I like it that way and I do not wish for it to change.”

“Why not?”

“Cause it means they’ll stay away and that really benefits everyone.” Lexa zipped up her jacket to the top and readjusted her scarf around neck.

“You don’t want anyone to approach you, is that it?”

“Yes.”

“But you let me.” Clarke pointed out, her blue eyes intently watching the brunette. She was hanging onto Lexa's lips, eager to hear her next words.

“You’re different.” was all Lexa said, eyes fleeing and hands fumbling, two clear signs of her discomfort at disclosing things about herself.

“How so?”

Lexa shook her head, almost imperceptibly, “Now you’re just fishing for compliments.” she said in lieu of a real answer.

Clarke's lips pulled into a smile and she grabbed Lexa's arm, pulling her along to the chairlifts, “At least you’re less afraid of chairlifts than you were before.” she said when they were finally seated and in the air.

“What makes you think that?”

“You’re not holding onto the bar for dear life anymore.”

Lexa let a small smile escape but schooled her features just as quickly, “I’m simply getting used to it, I suppose.”

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“Lexa?”

“Hm?”

They were back at the hotel after spending two hours skiing. It had been two _long_ hours for Lexa. The brunette was laying in bed, a book in hand, while Clarke was sitting on the carpeted floor, doodling.

Lexa had told her that she could sit on the bed, since it was more comfortable but Clarke had argued that she was good where she was.

 _You’ll regret this when you’ll get up with one asscheek completely numb,_ Lexa had said.

 _Spend a lot of time thinking about my asscheeks, Woods?_ Clarke had retorted and she had smiled when it got the usually composed brunette to stutter out a reply, blushing profusely.

Lexa flipped the page, waiting for Clarke to speak. When the woman didn’t, she raised her eyes from the book and frowned, “Weren’t you about to say something?”

Clarke seemed to be pondering whether or not she would speak her next words. Finally, after a few moments of silence, “I have something for you.”

“F-for me?”

“Yeah.”

Clarke pulled a paper slip out of her bag and carefully took the sheet of paper that was inside it. She sat down on the bed, and smiled down at what seemed to be a drawing from what Lexa could see but the brunette couldn't be entirely certain.

“Griffin?” Lexa said when the silence stretched out.

“It’s not that amazing but I just...did this thing and I thought you should have it.” without giving herself more time to doubt, she handed the drawing to Lexa who took it ever so gently, careful not to crumple the paper.

Lexa’s breath was quite literally sucked out of her when her eyes landed on a drawing which was just too beautiful to simply be called a sketch. Any words she might have been about to utter died in her throat and she was left admiring each line and each curve that littered the paper.

“It’s…”

“Not finished, I know.” Clarke interjected, “Usually, it’s a bit less ugly because I have more time but-”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Really?”

Lexa nodded, eyes fixed to the drawing, unable to tear her gaze away from it, “It’s...thank you.” her eyes finally met Clarke's.

“It’s nothing.” Clarke shrugged.

“No one...no one has ever given me something like that.” Lexa thought out loud, eyes soft and curious as she scanned the whole drawing, admiring every bit of it with unconcealed awe. Clarke got up but Lexa's hand grabbed her wrist, “When did you draw this?”

“Near the cathedral when the students were visiting the houses.”

“You’re very talented.”

“Lexa Woods giving me a compliment.” Clarke smiled, “I need to write the date somewhere because today is a day to remember.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “It’s not that unusual for me to compliment someone.”

Clarke didn’t seem to buy it.

“It happens.” Lexa insisted, “Sometimes.”

Clarke grinned, “Thank you, Lexa.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.” Lexa gestured at the drawing. She was already thinking of where she could put it. Maybe she could buy a frame and put it in there so she could hang it in her living room. Or she could-

“I’m glad you like it.” Clarke smiled warmly.

Lexa's heart did that thing again where it jumped inside her chest and she willed herself to keep her cool.

“I'll take great care of it.” Lexa announced, holding the sheet gently between her fingertips.

“It’s not that valuable.” Clarke smiled.

“It is to me.”

Clarke lingered by the threshold of the bathroom, silently watching her colleague for a couple seconds more, then she disappeared into the adjacent room.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Her heart was beating like crazy in her chest. She placed a hand over it and closed her eyes. A slow smile formed on her lips. Her back was resting against the bathroom door.

She had never cared much about other people's opinion on her art, preferring to be the sole judge of it, but for some reason, Lexa had made it onto the list of the very few people whose opinion mattered. Only her parents and her grandmother had been on that list until now.

She hadn’t realized how badly she needed that approval from the brunette until the very moment when she revealed the drawing to her. Come to think of it, it was quite odd for Lexa to be so kind and to appear so invested in something that wasn't school-related but Clarke obviously wasn't complaining about it. Happiness was coursing through her body and an unexplainable need to tell someone _-anyone-_ just how happy she was flowed over her.

In her twenty-six years of living, she had been complimented on her art countless times, whether it be by her parents, her friends or even some teachers back in high school. Not once had she felt such pride and had she taken such joy at hearing someone praise her work.

There was something in the way Lexa looked at her drawing. Something that other people didn’t have. It was more than just admiration, more than just awe. It was...a real wish to connect with the art, to-

A knock on the door interrupted her train of thought.

“Griffin?” Anya's voice cut through the silence, “Can I crash here to use your shower? Ours is apparently broken.”

“Uh, yeah. Give me two minutes.” Clarke answered.

She pushed herself off the door and hurriedly brushed her teeth _-what she had initially planned to do when she entered the bathroom-,_ then she opened the door.

“Thank you.” Anya instantly pushed past her and threw her clothes on the chair, “Also, tell Lexa to snap out of it. She’s been looking at some drawing for five minutes now.”

“That isn’t true.” Lexa retorted, finally placing the drawing on the nightstand.

Clarke hid her smile by ducking her head and she slipped under the blankets, “You really like it, huh?”

“Quit fishing for compliments.”

There was the Lexa she knew, Clarke thought with an amused smile.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“Don’t you think it’s crazy how small we are in comparison to the immensity of the Universe?” Clarke asked.

She was laying on her back and her hands were folded on her belly as she stared up at the plain ceiling.

“Griffin, it’s past midnight.” Lexa groaned.

“I know but have you ever considered it?”

Lexa rolled on her back. She was now in a similar position as Clarke. She breathed a small sigh and rubbed at her tired eyes, “Yes, many times. But now is not the time.”

Clarke hummed but apparently hadn’t intended to stop speaking just yet because her voice rang through the room mere seconds later, “If there are multiple universes,-” she started.

Lexa groaned and put her arm in front of her eyes. Clarke looked at her and stopped speaking.

After some time, Lexa huffed, “Well?”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“Aren’t you going to finish your thought?”

The blonde's lips curled into a smirk, “I knew you were interested.”

“I just wouldn’t want to be the one keeping you from sharing your thinking process. And I hate when people don’t finish what they've started.”

Clarke hummed, clearly unconvinced by that explanation, “As I was saying…before you interrupted me very rudely, thank you very much.”

“Just get to the point, Griffin.”

Clarke chuckled, “Alright, alright. If there are multiple universes…” she stopped speaking, letting silence fill the room.

“Just finish your damn sentence.”

Clarke found amusement in Lexa's clear annoyance.

“Do you think there is somewhere a parallel version of Earth, with different human beings and different kinds of inventions?”

“Possibly.” Lexa answered.

“Think about it. If it’s true, it means that, with a bit of luck, we could have been on a planet where Donald Trump doesn’t exist.”

“Maybe.” Lexa said, “But I personally don’t want to live on a planet which doesn’t have Beyoncé on it.”

Clarke laughed, “So you like Beyoncé, huh?”

“Everyone likes Beyoncé, Griffin. Not a hard guess.”

Clarke couldn’t disagree with that, “Maybe they have flying cars on Earth 2.0.”

 _“Earth 2.0.?”_ Lexa repeated, her voice laced with amusement.

“Yeah. I couldn't find a better name.”

“Clearly.”

“Shut up.” Clarke slapped her shoulder and rolled on her side so she could get a look at her colleague, “I bet they haven’t abolished healthcare on Earth 2.0.”

“Assuming they know what healthcare is.” Lexa completed, “And our earth does have healthcare. Just not in America.”

“But on Earth 2.0, they don’t make the distinction between countries. They all live together in harmony.”

“This isn’t The Lion King, Clarke.”

Clarke gasped, “Oh my God, they probably have never seen The Lion King on Earth 2.0.” she placed a hand in front of her mouth.

“You do realize, Earth 2.0 is a concept you have just created and which most likely doesn’t exist, right?”

“A girl can dream. And you were wrong by the way.”

Lexa cocked an eyebrow, “How so?”

“They don’t live in harmony in The Lion King. Get your facts straight.”

“You’ll find there is nothing straight about me.” Lexa joked.

Clarke snorted, “Good one.”

“Anyway, what else would there be on that Earth?” Lexa asked, more intrigued than she'd care to admit.

Clarke smiled, “So now you want to play into my fantasy.”

“You woke me up. Might as well do something now.” Lexa simply said.

Clarke flicked on the small lamp on the nightstand and rolled back around to face Lexa who was too laying on her side now, “First of all, they only have to work four days a week. It insures that the workers are well rested when they come into work and therefore, more efficient. It also increases people's happiness and as a direct result, reduces the rate of depression among the population.”

Lexa found it quite adorable how into this whole thing Clarke was, “Sounds good. But even if they were more efficient, the amount of work done would be lower than usual if they work one or two days less.”

“That’s how my super plan comes into play.” Clarke said.

“Tell me about it.”

“Because they only work four days out of seven, it means someone else has to work the three remaining days, right?”

Lexa hummed in agreement, “Sure.”

“They reduce unemployment like that. It gives two people a job instead of just one.”

Lexa smiled, “Your logic is flawed, though.”

“How?”

Lexa readjusted the pillow under her head, “If you give two people the same job, it means you either have to pay twice the salary, or have to cut people's salaries in half _-because they only do half the work-_ , and by doing so you either put the employer or the employee in a bad situation.”

“Not on Earth 2.0.”

“Is that so?”

“On Earth 2.0, they don't live in a capitalist society and the rich don’t steal from the poor. Most of the government money goes into salaries and charity movements.”

“Sounds heavenly.”

“It is.”

“What else is there on your perfect Earth?”

Clarke thought for a moment, then a smile drew itself on her features, “On my perfect Earth, you’re a decent human being instead of a broody asshole.”

Lexa laughed at that, “Hard to imagine.”

“You come pick me up from my apartment _-_ wait no, from my _mansion_ every morning to go to school. You always bring croissants and coffee with you. You chat about the weather and how beautiful I look today.”

“I think you’re too deep into this fantasy of yours.” Lexa commented, “Never on Earth would I bring you fucking croissants every morning.”

 _“Never on Earth” _Clarke repeated Lexa's words, “But on Earth 2.0, you would and you do. Actually scratch that, I wouldn't want you on Earth 2.0. You would pollute the air with your negativity.”

“Humans already pollute the air whether they are being optimistic or pessimistic.”

“Shut up.”

Lexa smiled and rolled on her back, “You would miss me if I wasn’t there.”

“Can’t miss something that doesn’t exist.” Clarke countered, “And in my perfect world, I’m sorry to announce to you that there is no more space for you.”

“Because the entire population has been replaced by dogs of all kinds?”

Clarke gasped, “That’s a good idea!”

“I was joking, Griffin.”

“I’m not.”

Silence settled and Lexa thought it meant Clarke was done talking and they would finally go back to sleep.

However…

“To be entirely honest with you…Earth 2.0 would suck without you in it.”

Lexa's heart swelled in her chest and she felt shivers run down her arms, “Are you getting soft on me, Griffin?”

“I was never the one who was closed off.”

Lexa thought carefully about her next words. She didn’t want to slip up and say more than what was needed. She never opened up to people and she wasn’t about to start now, “I guess I don’t entirely hate you.” she ended up saying.

“What a nice way to say you enjoy my company.”

“It’s the best I can do.”

Clarke smiled. Lexa didn't see it because her eyes were glued to the ceiling, but for a short instant, Clarke's eyes dipped to the brunette's lips before she looked away with a faint blush, thankful she hadn’t been seen.

“We should get some sleep.” Lexa said, “Could you turn off the lamp?”

“Sure.” Clarke switched it off and slumped back against the mattress.

No matter how hard she tried to find sleep, it wouldn’t come. Next to her, Lexa was most certainly asleep. At least Clarke _assumed_ she was from observing the steady rise and fall of her chest.

She tossed and turned for long minutes but it was to no avail. Just as she was about to give up and get up to take a walk around the hotel in hopes of clearing her mind, an arm snaked around her waist and she felt the warmth of Lexa's body pressed against her own.

“You’re thinking way too loud.” Lexa whispered before releasing her hold on her but without moving away which meant their bodies were still close together.

“I…” Clarke's voice came out slightly strangled, “Lexa, what are you doing?”

“Trying to find a way to get some sleep. You won’t stop moving.” she justified, “Should I move away?”

Clarke thought for a moment, “No.” she finally said. Almost instantly, Lexa's arm was back around her.

The way in which the brunette was holding her made her feel all kinds of way. Her body was reacting to her touch more than she expected and she silently cursed when she realized that it was going to be even harder to find sleep now.

“Stop thinking.” Lexa whispered

“I can’t.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“I hate you too.”

She wanted to laugh at the irony of such words being exchanged considering their current position. Anyone who didn’t know them well enough would have mistaken them for close friends or even lovers. The thought of the latter brought a heavy blush to Clarke's cheeks.

“Just sleep.”

“I’m trying to!”

“Well, try harder.”

“You’re such a jerk.”

“This is hardly the time for petty arguments, Griffin.” Lexa said in a tired voice.

“You started it.”

“And you’re the one continuing it.”

Clarke turned around and she was momentarily stunned into silence by how close their faces were. Whatever smart reply she had planned to deliver died in her throat. She scooted back slightly, huffing, “I don’t understand you. One minute we’re laughing about something and the next you treat me as if I’ve destroyed your favorite toy.”

“I don't own any toys.” Lexa said, “Not of that kind at least.”

In the midst of her mild anger, Clarke couldn’t help the laugh that sprung from her lips at that sly comment, “You can’t say shit like this in the middle of an argument.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m supposed to resent you. I’m not supposed to laugh at your stupid jokes.”

“My jokes are clever.”

“Who lied and told you this?”

Lexa let a smile escape, “That would be my mom.” she joked, earning herself another laugh from her colleague. She smiled wider at the sound, “Go back to sleep now.” she then said in a soft tone, “We have to get up early tomorrow and it’s already two in the morning.”

“Two and twenty minutes.”

“Looks like I’m not the only one who tends to focus on technicalities.”

Clarke turned back around, presenting her back to Lexa. The warmth of the older woman was now gone and Clarke was biting her lip to keep herself from blurting out something really stupid.

“Can you hold me again?”

_You, dumbass._

Lexa didn't answer with words. She scooted closer and placed her arm around Clarke's body once again, “If you speak of this to anyone, you can be damn sure your body will never be found.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” Clarke said, rolling her eyes, “Who would believe me anyway?”

 _No one. Literally no one would believe them._ That was the thought running through both their heads as they surrendered to their exhaustion and fell asleep.

 

 

 


	7. "Wanna dance with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all those who offered their help following the author's note I wrote a couple weeks ago. I feel better now and hope it will last. I've started Uni this week and I'm enjoying it. It feels freeing to finally be able to study what I like and not some mandatory curriculum. Without further ado, here is chapter 7, I hope you'll like it! :)

 

 

Over the next few days, it became routine for them to speak about the perfect Earth somewhere in a parallel Universe, and to fall asleep in each other's arms afterwards. Neither of them spoke of it. They would just slip into bed and claim that position, silently agreeing that their thoughts about it would remain locked inside and private. 

Neither of them ever brought up the topic. It was an unspoken rule that they were to not speak about it. Indeed, a lot of things went unspoken between them. Clarke told herself it was only to help her sleep. Lexa told herself it was to keep Clarke from moving around and disrupting her precious sleep.

****  
  


\----------

****  
  


“Hey, Lex.” Clarke called, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Lexa nodded and told Anya she would be back soon. She followed after Clarke, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What do you wanna talk about?”

“So, I know it has been a few days since then but I just...that guy at the diner..”

“What about him?” Lexa's teeth clenched.

“I wanted to thank you for what you did. I should have said so before but I just...I’m so tired, you know? Of all this. Of never getting justice. So tired that I just stopped trying. It has happened so many times. It constantly happens and nothing is ever done.”

“Clarke…”

“No wait, listen to me, I don’t condone it. Not in the slightest. I just…” she made frustrated hand gestures.

“I get it.”

“You do?”

“I haven’t had to deal with that a lot. A couple times at most. I can't imagine what it feels like to deal with it constantly.”

It was silent for a moment. They simply stared into each other's eyes. Clarke's shoulders sagged and a small, timid smile grew on her face, “Thank you for punching a guy for me.”

Lexa blushed, “Yeah, don't mention it.”

****  
  


**Friday 02/09/18**

****  
  


The last day of the trip was drawing near and with that, came the traditional winter ball, which was usually organized at school but students hadn’t wanted to wait and had begged the principal to let them organize it during their trip, arguing that it provided a stress-free atmosphere.

Students were all dressed up for the occasion. While most girls opted for a casual dress, some others had obviously went all out in buying their dress or, for some, their jumpsuit. The same could be said for some boys who had most likely spent a long time trying to find the perfect suit.

Lexa had opted for a long white dress which went to mid-calf and had a thigh-high slit, leaving her left leg partly uncovered.

[http://www.hawtcelebs.com/alycia-debnam-carey-6th-aacta-awards-sydney-07122016/](http://www.hawtcelebs.com/alycia-debnam-carey-6th-aacta-awards-sydney-07122016/) **→ Lexa’s outfit**

Clarke, as for her, had gone for a knee-length cocktail dress that hugged her curves perfectly and had a generous cleavage. She knew she'd probably get comments from her colleagues about it but she didn't care much. There was only one person whom she really wanted to impress, though she refused to admit that to herself.

[http://m.stylebistro.com/lookbook/Eliza+Taylor/9NDxU2nfewj](http://m.stylebistro.com/lookbook/Eliza+Taylor/9NDxU2nfewj) **→ Clarke’s outfit**

“I’m ready.” Clarke announced, stepping out of the bathroom. 

Lexa had to blink a few times to get herself out of the sudden blur that had become her thoughts at the sight of her colleague's choice of outfit, “You do know we're not the ones who'll be dancing tonight, right?” she asked, purposely keeping her eyes fixed on Clarke's face.

“You’re one to talk.” Clarke shot back, “You have a fucking slit in your dress. How much more extra can you get?”

Lexa rolled her eyes.

“You could have just said I looked beautiful, you know.” Clarke said in a light-hearted tone.

Lexa shook her head, “You're too full of yourself.” she started walking them out of the hotel room and towards the ballroom.

“It’s called being confident.”

“Too confident.”

“Are you saying I don’t look good?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“I won’t fall for that, Griffin.” Lexa said, “You obviously already have enough self-esteem. No need for me to fuel your enormous ego any more.”

Clarke grinned, “Well, you look good.” she shrugged, “I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

Lexa's lips parted, obviously not prepared for that, “Thank you.” she quietly said.

“And look, we match!” she pointed at their two outfits.

Lexa smiled, “White matches with everything, Griffin.”

“Ruin all the fun, why don’t you? You must be fun at parties.”

“I don’t go to parties. I’m not in college anymore.” Lexa raised an eyebrow and watched as Clarke's cheeks turned a faint pink.

“I know that.” Clarke mumbled, “I was just joking. Obviously.” 

“You still go to parties?”

Clarke shrugged, “Not really.” she answered. A beat of silence passed, “Just sometimes, alright?”

Lexa raised her arms, “No need to attack me. I’m not the one who refuses to let go of her college days.”

“You would understand us if you went to our parties.” Clarke countered.

“And who is that  _ us  _ that you're talking about?” Lexa wondered, an uneasy feeling settling in her chest at the thought that maybe Niylah or Bellamy were part of that crowd.

“Just a few friends from outside of work. Raven and Octavia. You don’t really know them. Well, Octavia is Bellamy's sister but she's nothing like him.” 

“Thankfully.” Lexa mumbled under her breath.

“What did you say?”

“I said,  _ ‘I see’ _ ” she lied with a serious look that betrayed no emotions, “Does he hang out with you too, then?” 

“Rarely. He wants to but Octavia doesn’t let him.”

“He fancies you.”

“I know.”

“But you don’t feel the same?” Lexa asked as they arrived inside the ballroom. Some students had yet to arrive but most were already here.

Clarke shook her head, “If anything, he’s more of a brother to me because I’ve known him since we were like twelve.”

“Oh.” Lexa simply said.

“He hasn’t gotten the memo, though.” Clarke laughed quietly to herself, “He’s been trying to score a date forever.”

Lexa scowled. One thing she really disliked were people who felt entitled to something that wasn’t theirs and that hadn’t been promised to them in any way.

“Anyway, he-”

“Clarke!” Niylah walked up to them with a bright smile, “You look absolutely stunning.” she complimented, not sparing Lexa a second glance.

“Thank you.” Clarke replied.

“No but seriously.” Niylah insisted before making a whistling sound, “You really went all out, huh?”

Lexa tried to find a way to escape this conversation because it was becoming awkward for her to just stand there. Unfortunately, Anya hadn’t arrived yet so she had no one else to stay with.

She kept looking for an excuse to leave, not thrilled at the idea of sticking around while Niylah unabashedly hit on Clarke. She smiled when she saw the bar at the far end, “I’ll get us some drinks. Do you want something?” she asked Clarke.

“She’ll have a glass of coke.” Niylah answered instead, “Her favorite.” she then winked at Clarke.

Lexa turned towards Clarke for confirmation and the blonde simply smiled, “What she said.”

Lexa's lips curled downwards and she all but ran away to escape the situation. An uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach but she refused to acknowledge it for what it was; obvious and irrational jealousy.

She was starting to really regret having forbidden alcoholic drinks for the night and having decided that teachers were bound by the same rule as students. Technically, she knew students wouldn’t respect the no-alcohol rule but as the adult, she had to set the example. Besides, drinking on the job wasn’t the greatest of ideas. She wasn’t about to risk getting fired two months into the job.

She settled for a glass of water, and paid for Clarke's glass of coke. When she looked back towards the area in which Clarke had been standing mere seconds ago, she realized Clarke had vanished.

“Shit.” 

Students had now all entered the small ballroom and it was getting incredibly crowded, making it nearly impossible to find the blonde teacher.

A tap on her shoulder made her jump and nearly spill her drinks, “Holy f-” she caught herself on time, in case students had heard her, “Anya.”

“Two drinks?”

Lexa frowned for a moment, then realized what Anya was referring to, “One is for Griffin.”

“The coke, I’m guessing.”

“Not hard to guess. I don’t drink sodas.”

Anya hummed, “Anyway, if you're looking for blondie, she was by the exit just now.”

“She has a name.”

“Which you don't use.”

Lexa frowned.

Anya rolled her eyes, “You never use her first name.” she elaborated, “Always her last name. Why?”

“I don’t know.” Lexa shrugged, “Habit.”

“You don't do that with other teachers. You all call them by their first name.”

“So?”

Anya raised her hands, “Nothing. Just an observation. Anyway, if you want to get a hold of her, you should probably go look for her now before you get swallowed by the mass of students.”

****  
  


\-------------

****  
  


Clarke's eyes were scanning the crowd. She tried to keep her attention on Niylah and whatever she was telling her about her family's vacation home, but she couldn’t focus.

She searched the crowd for a familiar mane of brown hair. She sighed when she failed to spot her colleague among the dancing bodies. Reluctantly, she focused back on Niylah but her eyes kept drifting towards the crowd every now and then.

She wondered where the brunette had disappeared to. The ball had started hours ago and in that time, she had only seen Lexa at the beginning. After that, nothing. Niylah, however, had stuck around her the whole time and Clarke's attention span wasn't nearly long enough to listen to the woman rant about her life for hours on end.

It was different with Lexa. The conversation was easy. Hours could fly by without either of them noticing it, too wrapped up in whatever stupid debate they had started. 

She disagreed with Lexa more often than not but that's what made it interesting. With Niylah, she had the feeling that the other woman forced herself to agree with everything she said in order to gain Clarke's favors and that annoyed the English teacher. It was like having a conversation with another version of herself.

She liked challenges. She liked when people had different opinions from hers and weren’t afraid to tell her. Lexa might be blunt and somewhat insensitive in her words at times but she had the merits of being honest. That was something Clarke appreciated. Honesty helped move the dialogue along. Disagreements added some spice to the conversation.She didn't like when people sugar-coated things to spare her feelings. 

“Can I have this dance?” Niylah suddenly asked when the music turned to a slower one, pulling Clarke out of her thoughts.

Clarke surveyed the room once more but still no trace of her colleague. She hid her disappointment behind a smile, “Sure.” she figured one dance couldn't hurt.

****  
  


\------------

****  
  


Lexa was in the far right corner, a drink in hand, water again. In her other hand, Clarke's coke. She still hadn’t managed to find the blonde. She sighed and looked down at her watch, a groan escaping when she saw that she still had to suffer through an entire hour and a half of this.

Sweaty teenagers dancing to loud, modern music wasn’t exactly her ideal way of spending her Friday evening. She actually feared she might go partially deaf with how loud the music was.

The song changed to a slower one and Lexa smiled when she recognized the first notes of  _ Total Eclipse of the Heart. _

_ Finally a good old classic,  _ she thought to herself. Her contentment turned to horror and astonishment when she heard a few students around her wonder what the song was.

_ How can they not know?  _ she asked herself. She felt a bit of her faith in humanity leave in that instant. She also felt a stab of sadness at the idea that great classics like that were not known by younger generations and would eventually be forgotten.

Her attention was captured by something else when she caught sight of the red dress she had been looking for all of the evening. Unfortunately, her eyes then settled on the woman whose arm was linked with Clarke's, dragging her towards the dance floor.

Lexa's grip tightened on the drinks and she looked away. When her eyes settled on the pair again, their bodies were pressed close together and Niylah was murmuring something in Clarke's ear.

Suddenly, she found she couldn't enjoy the music properly anymore. She placed her cup of water on a table. Her stomach was twisting in an odd way and her left hand balled into a fist at her side. 

She strode across the room and pushed past people to get to the exit, ignoring the confused looks her rapid pace gathered. She pushed the door open and stepped out into the open.

The small evening breeze hit her face and she felt fresh air fill her lungs after spending so long in a overheated space with next to no room to breathe. She put Clarke's coke on the ground, against the wall of the building.

She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. It was completely stupid. She didn’t even smoke regularly anymore, just kept a pack in her bag just in case, and yet, she brought the cigarette to her lips and used her lighter to light it.

She took a long puff, then blew it out into the thin air. She scowled at the taste of tobacco. She could now only hear the sounds of the bass from the inside and assumed the song had changed while she was outside.

She sat down on a bench, leaned against the back of it and closed her eyes as she brought the cigarette to her lips once more, enjoying the quiet of the night. She heard movement from beside her but kept her eyes closed.

“I thought you didn’t smoke.” a raspy voice said from beside her and she finally opened her eyes. She inhaled sharply when her gaze fell on ocean blue eyes. Some of the smoke got stuck in her throat and she started coughing.

“I don’t smoke.” she said when the coughing subsided.

“Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” Clarke asked with an amused smile.

“This shit is disgusting.” Lexa said, looking down at the cigarette with contempt, but taking another puff nonetheless, “There's your coke over there.”

Clarke hummed and crouched down, picking up the drink from the ground, “Thanks for getting it.” she gave a warm smile.

Lexa simply nodded. She ignored the flutter of her stomach.

“It’s chilly out.” Clarke noted, “It’s good after spending so much time inside.”

“Where's Niylah?” Lexa asked, a bit more harshly than intended if the look on Clarke's features was anything to go by.

“Still inside.” Clarke answered, “I told her I needed some air.”

Lexa scoffed, “I’m surprised she didn’t offer to go with you.” she said before bringing the cigarette to her lips.

“She did. But I told her to stay inside and that I’d be back soon.”

Lexa blew out the smoke, “Of course she did.” she bitterly said.

It was silent after that. Clarke looked ahead of her, sipping on her coke, and Lexa finished her cigarette before putting it out. Clarke expected her to get up after that but Lexa remained seated.

“What's the deal with Niylah?” Lexa asked, eyes focused on a random car so that she didn’t have to look at her colleague while she spoke.

“What do you mean?”

“She's clearly into you.” Lexa said, trying not to spit the words, “So either you get with her or you tell her that nothing's going to happen cause this is just pathetic.”

Clarke frowned, “Okay, you’re being an asshole. Do you know that?”

“What, cause I’m saying the truth?”

Clarke shook her head and opened her purse. She pulled out a small flask, “You clearly need this more than I do.”

“Bringing alcohol to a teenagers’ Winter Ball? Didn’t peg you as that kind of teacher.”

“Are you going to take it or not?” Clarke waved the flask around.

Lexa's hand moved up to snatch it from Clarke's hand and she unscrewed the lid before taking a long gulp, wincing at the burn of the alcohol but relishing in it at the same time.  _ Fuck being responsible. _

“Thanks.” she mumbled, handing the flask back to Clarke who, in turn, took a gulp out of it.

“What?” Clarke said when she saw Lexa's raised eyebrow, “It wasn’t necessarily fun for me to be stuck with the same person the whole night.”

Lexa smiled at that, “You could have abandoned her.”

“I’m not a jerk like you are.”

“Clearly.” 

The silence was a comfortable one, one that didn’t need to be filled. Somehow, no words were needed between the two women. 

“Why do you smoke if you claim that you've stopped?” Clarke suddenly asked.

Lexa looked down and grabbed the flask, taking another gulp of it, “Because I secretly hope it’ll solve all my problems.”

“It won’t.”

“I know that.”

Clarke's hand inched closer and covered Lexa's. If the brunette was surprised by the action, she didn’t comment on it. Clarke considered it a victory already that the woman hadn’t yanked her hand away.

“Do you want to go back inside?”

“You miss Niylah already?” Lexa asked, a hint of pettiness and bitterness seeping into her voice. She hated herself for letting her emotions get the best of her once again.

“No.” Clarke replied honestly.

As soon as they stepped in, Clarke recognized the start of the song that was playing. She turned on her heels to face Lexa, extending a hand.

“Wanna dance with me?” 

Lexa seemed to hesitate for a second. Then, as if she had seen something in Clarke's eyes, she nodded and linked their hands. 

They were both slightly tipsy as they stumbled through the crowd and stopped in the far right corner of the room. Lexa's hands were hanging hesitantly in the air.

Clarke smiled and grabbed the woman's hands, guiding them towards her waist while her own arms circled the brunette's neck.

_ ‘If you’re lost you can look and you will      find me _

_ Time after time _

_ If you fall, I will catch you, I’ll be waiting _

_ Time after time’ _

Clarke started swaying them gently to the music. Her eyes were glued to Lexa's face and she noted the way emerald eyes were fleeing.

She used one of her hands to grab the brunette's chin and bring her attention back on her, “Look at me.”

“I’m not a good dancer.” 

“You’re doing just fine.” Clarke smiled.

“People are watching us.” Lexa said, eyes flicking across the room nervously.

“Let them.”

Heat spread across Lexa's cheeks and she kept her hands steadily on Clarke's hips, not higher and certainly not lower.

Too soon  _ -or at least it seemed like too soon for Lexa- _ , the song ended and Clarke's arms disappeared from around her neck. Lexa reluctantly detached her hands from Clarke's hips.

“You’re not that bad of a dancer.” Clarke commented with an easy smile.

Lexa rubbed the back of her neck, “That was a slow song. It’s easier when it’s slow.” she explained.

She rolled her eyes at the rap song that was playing now. The amount of obscenities in those songs wasn’t something she'd ever get used to.  _ Spoken like a true grandma,  _ she remembered Clarke telling her the other day when the topic had come up.

“Do you-” 

Before Clarke could formulate her question, Niylah appeared from behind them and caught hold of Clarke's hand.

“There you are!” she exclaimed, shooting a subtle glare in Lexa's direction, “I’ve been looking for you!” she said loudly to be heard over the music.

“I...I just stepped out a little. Needed some air. I told you.” Clarke said.

“I should go back.” Lexa said in Clarke's ear, her hand coming to rest on the small of the blonde's back for a short moment before the contact disappeared and Lexa vanished into the crowd.

“Wait-” Clarke sighed when she noticed that Lexa was already gone, “Niylah…”

“Yes?”

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose, “Nevermind.” she bit back the words she wanted to say.

Niylah frowned but didn’t comment any further. She resumed updating Clarke on the last couple events of her life, much to the blonde's dismay.

Her eyes kept flicking across the room but she didn’t see Lexa again until the party died down and it was time for the students to head back to their respective rooms, and even then, the other woman seemed busy speaking with Anya.

She placed a hand on Lexa's shoulder and leaned closer, “I’m heading back to our room. Here's your keycard.” she handed it to her.

“Thank you.” Lexa grabbed the card. 

“Goodnight.” she then said, smiling at Anya, then at Lexa.

“Goodnight.” Lexa whispered when Clarke was walking away, too quietly for the blonde to actually hear it.

****  
  


\------------

****  
  


When the brunette quietly closed the door of their bedroom, she noted that her colleague was already asleep in their bed. She couldn’t blame Clarke. The day had been exhausting and they were to get up at six in the morning the next day to catch the flight that would take them back home.

She stepped closer and slowly moved her hand closer until it was hovering mere couple of inches away from Clarke's face. She took a loose strand of Clarke's hair and tucked it behind the woman's ear. Only then did she seem to realize fully what she was doing. She jerked her hand away as if it had been burned and left for the bathroom.

She hurried to change in her sleepy state, then slipped under the blanket. After a few minutes, she felt the mattress move next to her. Clarke's whole body pressed against her own and Clarke's right leg was resting on hers.

Lexa stilled for a moment, then released the air from her lungs and held Clarke with one of her arms.

She fell asleep like that, in a similar position as the last few nights.  _ It doesn't mean anything,  _ Lexa repeated to herself as she drifted into unconsciousness.

****  
  


**Saturday 02/10/18**

****  
  


“Hurry up, please. We cannot be late for this.” Bellamy told the students who had yet to finish packing, “We’re leaving in twenty minutes. Make sure the room is spotless when you leave. Don’t leave anything behind because there will be no coming back here.”

“No, you cannot get a bottle of alcohol through airport security, Nicolas.” Lexa said from the other end of the hallway, “You’re going to have to leave this here.”

“What if I finish it now?”

“No way.” Lexa said, “This is a whole bottle of pure vodka, Nicolas. Are you out of your mind? Give it to me.”

The student reluctantly handed the bottle to her and she then gave it to Clarke who dropped it at the reception, “Little parting gift.” she said, smiling at the surprised look on the receptionist’s face.

“We could have kept it for ourselves.” Niylah whispered in Clarke's ear.

The blonde stepped away, “That would have been highly irresponsible.” she said sternly, “We need to be an example for those kids.”

“I was just kidding.” Niylah raised her arms, “Let me handle the rest.” she then said, “You can already get inside the bus with Pike.”

Clarke shook her head, “I’m gonna help Lexa with checking the rooms.” with that, she left.

Lexa was still standing at the end of the hallway, scolding a few students who had made a mess in the room, “You have exactly ten minutes to clean everything up.” she said, hands on her hips.

“Need some help?” Clarke asked.

Lexa sighed, “Those kids just won’t listen. I’ve told them time and time again not to buy alcohol and I find a whole bottle of vodka under Nicolas’ bed. I tell them to clean everything up and here's what I stumble upon.” she gestured at the inside of the hotel room.

Clarke smiled, “It’s always been like this.” she told Lexa, “Students believe that rules were made to be broken. Come on, we have a few more rooms to check.”

Lexa followed after her, not without throwing one last warning look at her students.

****  
  


\-------------

****  
  


Lexa sighed when she dropped on her seat in the bus, “Students wear me out. I should have chosen another job. Like therapist, for example.”

“You’re way too blunt for that.” Clarke pointed out, “You would probably get frustrated with your patients.”

“I’m a good listener.”

Clarke hummed, “But it's about more than just listening. It’s about counseling too. Guiding people and helping them work through their issues.”

“And?”

“That’s exhausting. Maybe more than handling teenagers. I mean, I personally can’t even handle my own problems, let alone those of others.”

Lexa readjusted herself on the seat, “I need a break. I thought this trip was supposed to be relaxing.”

“Who lied and told you that?”

“You told me it would be fun.” Lexa accused.

“Yeah. And I meant it.” Clarke said, “It  _ is  _ fun but it doesn’t mean it isn’t tiring.” she shrugged, “It’s one of the cons. You handled it well, though.”

“You think?”

“Are you getting insecure about your abilities as a teacher or what?”

Lexa ducked her head, “No.” she mumbled, “But I’ve been told I’m a bit too hard on the kids most of the time.”

“By who?”

“By you.” Lexa replied almost instantly but seemed to regret the words, “I don’t mean this as a bad thing.” she hurried to say, “You just made me realize it. And it’s for the best really. I can still improve and…

I believe I can learn a lot from you.”

“From me?” Clarke's eyebrows shot up.

“See? You’re not confident in yourself either.” Lexa said, pulling her book out of her bag.

“I’m not exactly the best teacher there is. I didn’t think anyone would ever see me as an example.”

“Students love you.” Lexa quietly said, “Everyone does…” she added with a hint of sadness.

“Maybe not everyone.” Clarke put things into perspective.

“How can I get students to like me?” Lexa suddenly asked, her book left abandoned in her lap.

“You...you want me to tell you how to be likeable?”

“Teach me.” Lexa said and Clarke would have believed it to be a joke if Lexa's face wasn’t so serious.

“I’m not sure this is something I can just teach. There’s-”

“Please.” Lexa said, “I just...I can’t get them to really listen to me and I can see they're afraid to ask questions and I don’t want that.” 

Clarke blinked a few times, “You're a good teacher, Lexa.”

“Not good enough. I can be better. I have to be better. Teach me.” 

Clarke hesitated for a few seconds, then sighed, “Okay.” she relented, “I'll try but I can’t promise anything.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I haven’t done anything.” 

“Thank you.” Lexa insisted.

Clarke laughed and grabbed Lexa's book in her own hands, “What is it about?” she traced the cover of it.

Lexa completely ignored the question, “Why does everyone dislike me?”

Clarke frowned, “Everyone doesn’t dislike you. What are you on about?”

Lexa smiled but it was a sad smile, “They do. I see the way people look at me when I enter a room. I know what people talk about when they think I can’t hear them.”

“I don’t dislike you.”

Lexa looked down at her hands, “Why?”

Clarke remained silent for a few seconds, “Because behind that tough exterior that you put on, I know there's an enormous heart. You want to know what I think?”

“Not really.”

Clarke laughed, “I’m going to say it anyway. I think you love too much. I think you’re too kind for your own good and it has wronged you in the past so you refuse to give others the ability to hurt you again. Because it’s easier to shield your heart and to hide it behind layers and layers of false indifference than it is to trust people to not break it again.”

“What makes you think it has been broken before?” Lexa asked, her voice growing quiet.

“Just a wild guess.” Clarke smiled, “How far off am I?”

Lexa debated internally between lying to protect herself or telling the truth and therefore making herself vulnerable. She settled on the latter, praying that she wasn’t wrong in trusting Clarke.

“You’re quite spot on.” was all she said.

“Why are you so closed off?”

“Not something I want to delve into.”

Clarke nodded, respectful of that.

“Not yet, at least.” Lexa added and it was more than Clarke expected.

“Is this your way of telling me you trust me?” the blonde asked.

Lexa's eyes flicked up to meet hers, “Trust is a big word, Clarke.” she pointed out, “But...kind of.”

“You used my first name.” Clarke's lips grew into a wide smile.

“Do you always get this happy when people call you by your name? Because that’s a pretty odd way to react to it.” 

“Glad to know you’re not getting  _ too _ soft on me.” Clarke nudged her shoulder, “I don’t think I’d know how to react if you dropped that attitude that you got.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Whatever, Griffin.”

“Damn, my last name again?”

“You were getting a little too cocky.”

Clarke smiled and lowered her hand on top of one of Lexa's, the one that wasn’t holding the book.

“Thank you for trusting me.” she said earnestly. She squeezed Lexa's hand once, then let go of it.

****  
  


\--------------

****  
  


Lexa fell down on her bed and let out a huge breath of relief. Finally she could relax and empty her head of all the concerns that had been plaguing her mind as of lately.

She no longer had to worry about the students’ whereabouts and their safety. The downside of that was that she now had way too much time to think about other things, such as Clarke's smile, or Clarke's eyes, or her laugh, or-

Her thoughts were interrupted when Anya lay down on top of her, crushing the brunette under her weight. Lexa was rather thankful that her friend had unknowingly saved her from her thoughts which were quickly stepping into dangerous territory.

“You’re crushing me.”

“I’m tired.

“So am I.” Lexa pointed out, “And yet, you don’t see me trying to kill people by suffocating them.”

“Stop being so extra.” Anya mumbled, closing her eyes.

Lexa pushed her friend off of herself and turned on her side, “Don’t you have an apartment to go back to?”

“Don’t want to.”

Lexa groaned, “Okay but I'm not cooking for you. If you want to eat, you'll have to order something. And you're paying.”

Anya rose from the bed, “Fine. Is chinese alright with you?” she asked, poking Lexa's cheek.

Lexa swatted her hand away, “Yes. Now, get us some food, woman.” she mumbled, eyes closed.

“Sexist.” Anya smirked.

“As if.” Lexa laughed, “Hurry, though. I’m hungry.” she wrapped the covers more tightly around herself.

Her phone lit up and she frowned when she recognized Clarke's contact name:  _ Dumb blonde.  _ Clarke had argued and threatened hitting Lexa if she didn’t change it but Lexa wouldn’t budge and so the name stuck, much to Clarke's disappointment.

**Dumb blonde (6.45pm):** _ Do you think they have twitter on Earth 2.0? _

_ So much for not thinking about her,  _ Lexa thought to herself. She typed out a reply quickly.

**Broody asshole (6.46pm):** _ They have a similar social media and it’s called Flopper. _

Lexa too had argued about her contact name when Clarke had typed it in as revenge for the  _ Dumb blonde  _ thing.

Anya appeared in the doorway of her room, “Chicken noodles?”

Lexa nodded, “With vegetables.”

“Of course.” Anya smirked, “We wouldn’t want to eat something that might potentially be unhealthy.”

“I doubt a few vegetables could turn a whole meal healthy if the other components are high-fat food.”

“Chinese food isn’t high-fat food.”

“Exactly. Just goes to prove that I don’t add vegetables because I want it to be healthier. I just like vegetables.”

“You’re just weird then.”

“Says the woman who once ate pasta with ketchup sauce and claimed it was good.”

“I mean, it  _ was  _ goo-”

“It was an abomination and I cannot believe you even thought of doing it. You should be locked away for it because it is a crime against humanity and all that is good in this world.”

Anya smiled, “You’re funny sometimes.”

“I was being serious.”

Anya just smiled, then closed the door again. Lexa shook her head and her lips pulled into a smile of her own. 

****  
  


\------------

****  
  


“We should go to a bar next Saturday night.” Anya said, munching down on a piece of chicken.

“I’ll have tests to grade.” Lexa said, wiping at her mouth with a napkin.

“So? You got time for that. You can do it on Sunday.”

“There are lots of tests to grade, An.” Lexa said, “I don’t want to put this off because if I do that, I won’t find the motivation to do it in the end. You know I always lose all motivation on Sundays.”

“Pleaaaase.” 

Lexa groaned, “You won’t stop until I accept, will you?”

Anya smirked and that was answer enough for Lexa who relented begrudgingly. Anya smiled brightly.

“But don’t make it a weekly habit of dragging me into bars in the middle of a school term.”

“You do know we had that conversation before, right?” 

“I am aware but clearly, the first time wasn’t clear enough for you.” Lexa smirked.

Anya laughed and threw a piece of chicken at Lexa who shrieked and moved away.

“That’s gross, Anya.” she said, scowling at the stain on her white dress shirt, “You could have thrown a napkin or literally anything else.”

“It wouldn’t have been as fun.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and got up to place her empty plate in the sink, “I’ll come but only for a couple hours.”

“Great!” Anya grinned.

Lexa grabbed her phone in her bedroom, and dropped on the couch, next to her best friend. Instantly, she noticed the two missed texts from Clarke.

**Dumb blonde (7.02pm):** _ Cool concept _

**Dumb blonde (7.03pm):** _ Do you think people are as butthurt on Flopper as they are on Twitter? _

**Broody asshole (7.22pm):** _ Depends. How much of an utopia do you want Earth 2.0 to be? _

**Dumb blonde (7.22pm):** _ Pretty utopian _

**Broody asshole (7.23pm):** _ In that case, no, people are not as butthurt on Flopper as they are on Twitter _

Lexa smiled down at her phone, completely missing what Anya had just said to her.

“And we have lost her.” Anya announced with a teasing tone, “What's got you so distracted?”

Lexa pressed her phone against her chest, “Nothing.”

Anya raised an eyebrow, “If you say so.” she got up to put her plate in the sink, “Do you think you could watch over my students tomorrow in third period?” she asked from the kitchen.

“Why?”

“I got an appointment at my bank. Can’t miss it but I don’t want these little fuckers to be free of class.”

“You’re evil. I like it.”

“You know they’ll hate you for taking over the lesson, right?”

“I know.”

“Are you willing to take the risk?”

“Most of them already hate me.” Lexa shrugged, “And it’s Collins’ class. I don’t hold the guy close to my heart.”

“Weren’t you the one who claimed you wanted students to find you more likeable?”

“Do you want my help or not?”

Anya smiled, “Thank you, babe.” she kissed Lexa's cheek, “You’re a gem.”

Lexa laughed, “Yeah, right.”

**Dumb blonde (7.25pm):** _ btw, could you cover for me tomorrow third and fourth period? got a doctor appointment that just came up _

Lexa was ready to type a positive answer when she realized…

**Broody asshole (7.26pm):** _ I already promised I’d cover for Anya, I apologize. _

**Dumb blonde (7.26pm):** _ Don’t worry about it. I’ll just ask Niylah. I know she has a free period at that moment too. Thanks anyway! _

Lexa's eyes stopped on the name  _ Niylah.  _ She turned off her phone and tossed it on the couch, features hard and lips curled downwards.

“Who pissed in your cheerios?” Anya asked with a smirk.

“Cheerios are garbage and no human should ever eat them, not even if it’s a matter of life or death.”

“Damn, woman.” Anya said, “What's got your panties in a twist?”

“Nothing.”

“Right.”

“What do you think of Niylah?”

“Niylah Pine?”

“Yes.”

Anya shrugged, “I don’t talk to her. We have nothing in common. She’s much closer to Clarke or Maya.”

“Maya?”

“Ms.Vie.”

When Lexa still didn’t seem to connect the dots, Anya gave up, “Just another teacher, no one important.” 

Lexa hummed, “Has Niylah been friends with Clarke very long?”

“Since Clarke got here so almost two years, I think.”

“Oh, okay.” Lexa tried to appear unaffected by that.

Anya frowned, “Why are you asking me that? You’ve never asked about Niylah before.”

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t know. She just seems a bit odd sometimes. No specific reason.”

Anya hummed, eyes squinted in suspicion, “You do know she has been crushing after Clarke forever, right? Like, it ain’t new at all.”

Lexa didn’t reply. She stayed quiet which Anya would usually have found normal since Lexa was naturally a very calm person, but this time, there was more to it, she could feel it.

“The only one who still hasn't noticed is Clarke herself.” Anya added, “That woman is too oblivious, I swear.”

Lexa rose from the couch. She found she didn’t want to hear about Niylah's supposed infatuation with Clarke.  _ It doesn't mean anything _ , she told herself when once more, a feeling of jealousy settled in the pit of her stomach.  _ I’m just looking out for a friend, that’s all,  _ “I’m tired.” she announced.

“It’s not even eight o'clock.”

“And? We had a long week.”

Anya didn’t argue any further, “Can I stay here tonight, though?”

Lexa shrugged, “Sure, you can take the guest room.” she gestured at the end of the hallway, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Anya said with an amused smile, “Fucking grandma, already.” she added, earning herself a glare from the brunette, as well as a middle finger raised up high.

****  
  


\-------------

****  
  


Lexa had only rested her eyes for about one minute when the familiar sound of her ringtone rang through the room. She groaned and searched blindly until her hand caught her phone and she slid her finger across the screen without bothering to check who it was.

“Yes?” her hoarse voice said into the phone.

_ “You sound awful.” _

Lexa smiled upon hearing her little brother's voice, “And you’re still as annoying as ever.”

“I miss you.” he whispered into the phone.

Lexa sighed. She missed him too. Aden had been adopted when he was only three years old. Lexa had been sixteen years old at the time.

They had formed a bond more quickly than anyone expected considering Lexa tended  _ -even as a kid- _ to keep mostly to herself. She liked books more than people and that was about it. 

It had been hard on the both of them when Lexa had moved away to University two years later. Aden, although very young, had understood it meant he wouldn't see her as often anymore.

He was the main reason why she had come back here to search for a job. Although she lived close by  _ -a couple dozen miles at most-, _ it proved itself difficult to find the time to see each other. She was very caught up in her job and very rarely could make the drive to her old house. It was no excuse and she knew it.

Hearing his voice made her want to make time for this. She hadn’t tried enough lately and she felt guilty about it, especially when she heard him ask when she would come visit him again.

“Soon, I promise.”

_ “I have a soccer game on Friday!”  _ he said excitedly,  _ “Will you be there? It’s my first real game!” _

How could she even say no to that? She knew she had tests to grade and lessons to prepare but it all was thrown to the background when she heard the hope in her brother’s voice.

“I'll be there.”

_ “Really!? This is amazing! Thank you!” _

“Don’t thank me, kiddo. Just play your best for me, alright?”

_ “Yes! You're the best, thank you so much!” _

Lexa smiled. Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of how much her brother looked up to her. In the two years they lived together, she had tried her best to be some sort of example for him. Even now, Aden still saw her as the picture of success. He kept going on and on about how smart she was and how he wanted to be a teacher later because he wanted to be more like her. She had told him many times that he had to find his own way and he didn’t have to follow in her footsteps in order to be successful but he seemed determined to follow her example. 

He was the only person she was truly herself around. The boy’s laughter was communicative and it would shock one to see Lexa smile so much, were they to see her around her brother.

“I miss you too, Ade.” she said into the phone, “I'll see you soon, alright? This time, it’s a promise.”

_ “And we don’t break promises in the Woods family.” _

“Damn right, we don’t.”

_ “I have to hang up soon. Mom is yelling that the communication isn’t free and that I won’t be happy anymore when she’ll make me pay the bill with my pocket money.” _

Lexa laughed, “Okay.” she said, sad that she couldn’t speak longer to her brother, “I’ll see you soon, buddy.”

_ “Love you.” _

Lexa smiled, eyes shining with unshed tears, “I love you too.” she whispered into the phone, “Bye.” she reluctantly pressed the _ ‘end call’ _ button.

She reached inside the drawer of her nightstand and retrieved a picture. She glided her thumb over it affectionately. It was a picture which had been taken three years ago when she, Aden, Lincoln, and their mother had gone on a trip to Italy.

She wished they had time to organize another one of those trips now.  _ Maybe during the summer holidays,  _ she thought to herself with a small smile before placing the picture back in the drawer and burying herself in her covers.

Despite how early it was, she fell asleep in a matter of minutes, blue eyes haunting her even in her dreams.


	8. "You think I'm pretty?"

Monday, the 13th of February 

 

 

Clarke looked up from her computer when a cup of coffee was lowered onto the table in front of her. She eyed Lexa curiously and gestured towards the drink, “Is this for me?”

Lexa just nodded, “Walked past a coffee shop on my way here.” she simply said, sipping on her own coffee.

Clarke pulled out her wallet, “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.” Lexa shrugged.

“Lexa.”

“What?”

“How much?”

“Nothing, I told you.” Lexa insisted, “Take it as a gift. A thank you for teaching me how to ski and for the drawing.”

Clarke smiled, “Thank you, Lexa.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Silently, they both focused back on their respective tasks. Lexa pulled out her book while Clarke went back to typing on her computer. The silence was a comfortable one. No words were needed. They were both content to just sit across one another in silence.

Lexa felt a persistent stare in her back and she turned around to see Niylah watching the two of them from afar. When she noticed she had been seen, Niylah looked away hurriedly.

Lexa frowned and went back to her previous activities, pushing her confusion to the back of her mind. She noted the few curious looks she got from her other colleagues but ignored them. She was used to it.

The ringing sound of the bell announced the beginning of class and she hurried to put her book back in her bag. She was about to leave when she heard Clarke call out to her.

“Wait, Lexa, hold on.”

She waited by the exit for the other teacher to put her computer back in its case, “What’s the matter?”

Clarke gave a one shoulder shrug, “Just thought we could walk to class together.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “How cute.” she deadpanned, “Reminds me of my high school days.”

“Stop making fun of me.” Clarke rolled her eyes, “Besides, high school was fun.”

“To you.” Lexa said but didn’t elaborate any further.

“You didn’t enjoy high school?”

Lexa shrugged, “I was the outcast. Not much to enjoy, really. I was mainly waiting for it to be over so that I could focus on what I’m good at.”

“Languages.” Clarke completed.

“Yes.” Lexa nodded, “I’m guessing you were more the popular type.” she added, chancing a glance at the blonde teacher.

Clarke smiled, “That obvious?”

“Kind of.” Lexa shrugged, “Blonde, pretty and outgoing. You seem like the type.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

Lexa blushed, “We have to hurry. Class has started already.” she dodged the question.

“We’re teachers. We can be late.”

“I’d rather not.” Lexa started accelerating her pace to reach her classroom at the end of the hallway.

“So you think I’m pretty, right?” Clarke called after her, “Right?” she grinned.

“Never said that.” Lexa lied before giving Clarke a small smile and pushing the door of her classroom open. She then disappeared inside.

Clarke smiled and walked the remaining distance to her own classroom. She was in a good mood for the rest of the day after that.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“Pay up, losers.” Alex said with a grin as he collected the money from his two friends, “Shouldn’t have made such a bet.”

“It’s because you refused to admit my pieces of evidence were legit.” Lucy argued.

“They were based on assumptions. In a court of law, you wouldn’t go very far with assumptions.”

“Stop gloating. You got your money already. And it doesn’t change the fact that we’re right and you’re wrong.”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“Honestly, this is bullshit.” Lucy said, “They should be together by now.”

“They’re not into each other.” Alex said, “Get over it. It’ll make your life easier and it’ll save you some money apparently.” he waved the bills in her face.

“Shut up.” she pushed him, laughing.

 

 

Friday, the 17th of February 

 

 

“What’s got you so excited?” Clarke asked, leaning against the doorframe of Lexa's classroom.

Lexa looked up from the tests she was grading, “What makes you think I'm excited?”

“You keep tapping your foot on the floor and you’ve got this smile on your face.”

“Maybe I just find my students' answers funny.”

“You don't find anything funny.”

Lexa didn’t bother correcting her. She went back to grading the tests, her foot resuming its nervous movements.

“Okay, this is highly annoying. Stop that with your foot.” Clarke pulled out a chair and sat down behind a random desk.

Lexa gave her a brief once-over, “Missing your high school days again?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. Now, why are you acting so weird today?”

“I’m not acting weird.”

“You are.”

Lexa sighed, “I'm spending time with my brother tonight. That’s all. Now let me grade these papers in peace, please.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yes. And I know you knew that because I told you about him weeks ago.”

Clarke hummed, “You never talk about him, that’s all.”

“I never talk about my private life. Period.”

Clarke laughed, “Fair enough.” she conceded, “What is it like having a sibling? I’ve always been an only child.”

“Siblings are a pain in the ass.” Lexa said, frowning at the answers on a test, “What is that even supposed to mean?” she asked herself when she read a certain sentence.

“If they're a pain in the ass, why are you excited to see him?”

“Cause he's my brother. And I love him.”

“Aw, you’re capable of loving someone?”

Lexa gave her an unimpressed look, “You’re so funny.”

“Thanks. I get that a lot.” Clarke rose from her seat and approached Lexa's desk.

Lexa laughed, “A lot of people are lying to you then.” she said as she circled an answer on one of the tests. She felt Clarke's presence close to her and it brought a slight blush to her cheeks.

Clarke reached out and grabbed Lexa's hand. She forced the brunette's fingers off the pen, “You should go see your brother now. You’ll finish grading those tests some other day.”

“Griffin, give me my pen back.”

“Nope.”

“The game doesn't even start until 7pm. Why would I go there two hours early?”

“You’re going to a game?”

“My brother’s soccer game.” Lexa said, palm up, “My pen.”

“Well, I’m not doing anything tonight so I’ll gladly go with you to that game.”

Lexa frowned, “I don’t remember inviting you.”

Clarke shrugged, “You didn’t. I invited myself. I’ll be at your place at six. See you!” she smiled and winked before leaving, Lexa's pen in hand.

Lexa stared at the door for a few seconds, unblinking, before her lips stretched into a smile of disbelief and amusement, “Seriously?” she asked herself out loud.

Clarke's head popped in the doorway, “Just to be clear, I wasn’t really serious. If you don’t want me to come with, I understand.”

Lexa stayed quiet for a few seconds and Clarke took that as her cue to leave. Before she could do so, however, she heard Lexa's voice.

“You can come.” it was said quietly, “If you wish to, that is.”

A blinding smile bloomed on Clarke's face, the kind of smile that reached a person’s eyes and could easily light up a room. Lexa found herself lost in that smile momentarily. She regained her senses in time to catch the end of Clarke's sentence.

“....can’t wait to meet your brother! Bye!”

“Wait! My pen!”

“Not giving it back!” Clarke shouted before disappearing down the hallway.

Lexa sighed and searched through her pen case for another one. She groaned when she realized she had lost the other one and would have to wait until she was home to resume grading those tests.

She quickly stored her stuff in her messenger bag before grabbing her coat, shrugging it on, and walking out the classroom. She headed towards the school's exit, not before locking her classroom’s door.

 

 

\------------

 

 

She was adding the last few touches to her outfit when she heard the sound of the doorbell. There was only one person she was expecting so she knew who was standing behind the closed door.

Surely enough, she opened it to reveal her colleague, “Hello, Griffin.”

“Good evening.” the blonde grinned, “Ready to go?” she then asked, bouncing on her heels.

“Who’s the excited one now?”

Clarke shrugged, “I’m just happy to spend some time with my colleague.”

“Why?” Lexa frowned.

“Cause you're not as despicable as one might think.” Clarke grinned, “You’re not likeable either but, you know, could be worse.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Clarke laughed and stepped inside when Lexa opened the door wider and stepped aside.

“I love your place.” Clarke said, dropping on the couch with a sigh, “Before I saw it for the first time, I expected it to be more...stark.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not exactly the most optimistic person I know. I expected your apartment to reflect your personality, that’s all.” Clarke explained.

“We have to get going or we'll be late.”

Clarke rose two fingers, “Just two minutes.” she closed her eyes, “Today was exhausting.”

“It was exhausting for everybody, Griffin. Get your ass off this couch.”

“You know how you wanted me to teach you how to be likeable?” Clarke said with a smirk, “Step one: don’t be so aggressive when you speak.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “And don’t be so butthurt about it.”

Clarke laughed, “Nice one, Woods. I’m one of the least sensitive people you’ll ever meet.”

“Right.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Never said you were.”

“Your tone implied otherwise.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lexa shrugged on her jacket and walked towards the door, “Now get up. We have somewhere to be.”

“I don’t know.” Clarke smiled, “This couch is pretty comfortable.”

“Fine. Have fun sitting on it all night long cause I’m leaving without you if you don’t get up in the next three seconds. One, two-”

“Spoilsport.” Clarke said, pushing herself off the couch.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

The first thing Clarke noted upon arriving, was that there were a lot of people, way more than she expected. Lexa was moving fast through the crowd and Clarke was certain she would lose the brunette in the crowd fairly quickly at this rate.

She accelerated her pace and caught hold of Lexa's hand. When the brunette turned to her with a questioning look, she offered a sheepish smile, “I don’t want to lose sight of you.” she explained.

Lexa seemed to think it over for a couple seconds, then her hand tightened around Clarke's and she led them through the crowded area, eyes staring straight ahead and the beginning of a blush creeping up her neck, which she hid behind her scarf.

Clarke tried not to think of how soft Lexa's hand felt and focused instead on finding empty seats for them, “There are two available seats there.” she pointed with her available hand.

Lexa looked at the seats, then shook her head, “I want to sit close to the field so I can see my brother better.”

Clarke smiled at that, “Okay.”

It took five more minutes but eventually, they found seats in the third row. Their hands remained locked together until they were seated. Clarke folded her hands in her lap and ignored the tingles on her skin.

She cleared her throat and cursed silently when she realized she had left her scarf at home. She grabbed her sweatshirt and pulled it up so that it was covering her throat and her mouth.

Lexa noticed and her eyebrows furrowed, “Are you cold?”

Clarke shrugged, “Just don’t want to catch a cold. I have a tendency to get sick rather easily. Winter is my worst enemy.” she chuckled a bit.

She watched as Lexa took off her scarf and handed it to her, “Take it.”

“What? No, it’s yours.” she refused.

“And you’ll get sick if you don’t take it.” Lexa argued, “Just take it, I insist.”

“No, it’s okay.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and placed the scarf around Clarke's neck herself, “You’re really annoying, did you know that?”

“You've told me a couple times.” Clarke placed her hands over the scarf and smiled, “Thank you.” she said so quietly that Lexa almost didn’t hear her over the shouts of the crowd.

“It’s nothing.” she brushed it off, “Just make sure you don’t forget to give it back at the end.”

Clarke liked having the scarf around her. It smelled like Lexa, she noted. Strangely, it brought her a feeling of comfort. She hid her growing smile behind the scarf and discreetly scooted closer to Lexa.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Lexa looking at her and her cheeks reddened slightly, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re blushing.”

“It’s the cold.”

Lexa hummed and didn’t say anything else. She did, however, keep stealing glances at her colleague every now and then as they both waited for the game to start.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was in reality only fifteen minutes, the players stepped on the field. Lexa got up to get a better look at her brother's team and she spotted the young boy somewhere in the middle.

“Which one is your brother?”

Lexa smiled and she could only be described as proud when she spoke her next words, “Number sixteen. The small, blond one in the middle.”

“He seems so serious.”

“It's his first game. He wants to play as well as possible. He puts a lot of pressure on himself.”

“I wonder who he gets that from.” Clarke nudged Lexa's shoulder, earning herself a small smile from her colleague.

Lexa could see Aden's eyes scan the crowd and when they settled on her, she flashed him a blinding smile and waved. Clarke had never seen a smile on Lexa's face as bright as the one the brunette was currently sporting. She saw the same smile reciprocated on Lexa's brother's face and smiled to herself. She kinda wished she had a sibling so she could experience that as well but that thought was quickly pushed to the back of her mind. She had had an amazing childhood despite being an only child. She had nothing to complain about.

“He looks so grown up.” Lexa said with a sigh next to her.

“I mean, that’s usually what people do, the whole growing up thing.”

Lexa glared at her, “You know what I meant.”

Clarke smiled, “Yeah, I do.” she admitted, “He looks very handsome.”

Lexa agreed with a hum, “He looks almost as good as me.” she smirked and glanced at Clarke.

“So very modest.” Clarke said, shaking her head, “Careful, your head might implode with how big your ego is getting lately.”

“If anything, it’ll implode because of how voluminous my brain is.”

“I don’t like the cocky version of you.”

“Too bad.”

“You’re annoyingly confident.”

“And you’re annoying, period, and yet you don’t hear me complaining about it on a daily basis.”

“Asshole.”

“Butthurt.”

“Dickhead.”

“Basic bitch.”

Clarke gasped, “You did not. I’m far from being a basic bitch and you know it.”

“You take your coffee with sugar and extra cream. That makes you a basic bitch.”

“And you take it black. That makes you the most boring person on Earth.”

Lexa squinted her eyes, then let a smile escape, “You’re kinda funny.”

“Finally admitting it.” Clarke smiled back.

Their attention turned back to the game when the crowd grew louder. They saw that the game was about to begin. Lexa spotted her brother on the field and shot him a thumbs up when he looked at her. He replied with one of his own, accompanied by a big smile.

“He’s cute.” Clarke commented, “You should aspire to be more like him.”

“Are you saying I should be cute? Cause that’s beyond my abilities and thank goodness for that.”

“Being cute isn’t something to be ashamed of.”

Lexa scrunched up her nose. The sound of the whistle cut off whatever response she was going to give, “Now shut up and watch the game.”

“Bossy.” Clarke commented, earning herself another glare.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Nothing could have prepared Clarke for how invested Lexa was in the game. The woman was up more often than not, either shouting words of encouragement or yelling her outrage at the referee’s decisions.

“What!? That was a foul, for fuck’s sake! Are you fucking blind!?”

Clarke laughed behind the scarf, highly amused. A few heads turned their way with frowning eyebrows but Lexa was too wrapped up in the game to even notice.

“It was a clean tackle.” Clarke said, knowing it would rile Lexa up even further.

Lexa turned to her with a betrayed expression, “A clean tackle?” she repeated the words, “Do you even watch soccer, Griffin?”

“I used to watch it every week with my dad but go off, I guess.”

“This was the opposite of what could be considered a clean tackle. The referee needs to wipe the shit that’s been stuck in his eyes for the last thirty minutes.”

Clarke burst out laughing, “Alright, big baby, just sit down, alright?”

Lexa huffed and claimed back her seat, “This game is rigged.” she muttered under her breath, “How much did they fucking pay the referee?”

Clarke grinned, “They’re middle schoolers. Easy on the corruption theories.”

“Kids are evil.”

“Your brother too?”

“Except my brother.”

“Obviously.”

Aden caught the ball with his left foot and started running up the field with it. Lexa’s hand flew up and she grabbed Clarke's tightly, “He’s gonna make it.” she whispered, mostly to herself.

Clarke's attention wasn’t on the game anymore. She was focused on the feeling of Lexa's hand in her own. She was pulled back to reality when Lexa let out a groan of disappointment. Clarke looked towards the field and saw that the ball was now in the opponent team’s possession.

“So close.” Lexa said.

Despite the moment being long since gone, Lexa's hand remained linked with Clarke's and the blonde didn’t know what to make of the multitude of feelings whirling through her body.

The whistling indicating halftime rang through the air and Lexa released Clarke's hand with a quick apology.

“I’m, uh, I’m gonna buy something to eat.” Clarke said, hurrying to make her escape. She was stepping into dangerous territory and was starting to feel things she'd rather not be feeling.

Lexa didn't question her any further. Clarke walked for a few minutes. She finally felt like she could breathe once she was away from the crowd.

“What the fuck.” she whispered to herself, willing her heart to return to its habitual rhythm.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

When she came back, Lexa was speaking with a middle-aged woman. The brunette had an easy smile on her face and she seemed truly happy. It surprised Clarke how beautiful she found the sight of Lexa's happiness. It was a rare sight. It happened every blue moon. For a very short instant -until she shut down the thought as quickly as it came up- Clarke wished she was the one capable of putting such a look on Lexa's face.

“What the fucking fuck.” she whispered to herself.

The woman, Clarke learned, was Lexa's step-mother, Indra, her father’s second wife. Once Indra had headed back to her seat, Lexa told Clarke that Aden was her adoptive brother. That she hadn’t been adopted but he had been. She told her that, even though they didn’t share any blood, she saw Aden as her real brother and she loved him just the same. Clarke smiled at that.

When the game ended on a tie, Lexa complained one last time about the referee’s bad calls.

“We would have won if the referee wasn’t so blind.” she said before all but running down the stands to join her brother.

Aden ran and jumped in her arms as soon as he saw her, “You made it!” he said into her ear, “You really came.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” she whispered into his ear, “You were amazing out there. Spectacular.”

And as Clarke watched Lexa interact with her brother, the brunette's eyes shining with happiness and with so much love and care for the young boy, that’s when it dawned on Clarke.

The realization hit her like a brick.

“Fuck.”

She liked Lexa.

In way more than just a platonic way.

Shit.

 

 

\------------

 

 

The realization of how she felt made it difficult for Clarke to stand around Lexa without overthinking things. Was she obvious about her feelings? Should she keep contact to a minimum in order to lure possible suspicions away? Or maybe Lexa already had it all figured out. Her eyes widened with that last thought. What if, before she herself realized her feelings, Lexa had already been aware of them somehow?

No fucking way, you’re just paranoid, she told herself.

She gave a weak excuse as to why she had to leave early and Lexa let her leave without asking too many questions. They parted with an awkward one-arm hug and a quiet ‘see you at school’.

“Wait!” Lexa suddenly yelled out, jogging after her, “We drove here.” she said, only realizing this now, “How are you getting back home?”

“I’ll take the bus.”

“There are very few buses at this hour.” Lexa pointed out, “And it’s not very safe wandering around alone at night.”

“I can handle myself.” Clarke defended.

Lexa sighed, “I know you can but I just...don't feel comfortable leaving you to your own devices when I could just drive you back.”

“I thought you would stay with your family for the weekend.”

“I will.” Lexa said, “I’ll just make an extra ride back here, no big deal.”

“I appreciate it, I truly do, but it’s not necessary, really.” Clarke said, already turning on her heels.

“I think you misinterpreted my intentions here.” Lexa said, “I wasn’t asking you. I was simply telling you that this is what will happen.”

“You’re headstrong.”

“Probably not as much as you.”

Clarke smiled, “Why are you really doing this?”

Lexa stepped closer, “I told you. I don’t feel comfortable letting you go home by yourself.”

“Why?”

“Because, believe it or not, I actually care about you and don’t wish for you to get hurt.” Lexa admitted, taking another step forward, “So would you please let me drive you back?”

Clarke didn’t think she had ever heard Lexa's voice be so gentle and void of any teasing. It took her a few seconds to recover from her surprise before replying.

“Okay.” she relented, “But only this one time. I won’t make it a habit.”

Lexa's lips shifted into a smile and she fished her car keys out of her pocket before turning towards her family, telling them that she’d be back in an hour tops.

“You really didn’t have to do this.” Clarke reiterated when they were inside the brunette's car.

“I wanted to.” Lexa said as she put the key in the ignition and turned it, “Buckle up. Safety first.” she reminded as she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“Let me walk you upstairs.” Lexa said when they reached Clarke's apartment building.

The Literature teacher shook her head quickly, “You’ve done more than enough already. It won’t be necessary.” she said when she saw Lexa unbuckle her seatbelt and open the car door.

“I insist.” Lexa said before walking around the car and opening Clarke's door for her. She then extended her hand to help her out.

“I’m starting to think you’re even more stubborn than I am.” Clarke said, blushing at the show of kindness and care from her colleague. It wasn’t much but it was already more than most people would do and Lexa didn’t even seem to be doing it on purpose.

“I might be.” Lexa said, letting go of Clarke's hand and closing the car door before following after Clarke towards the building.

She pressed on the elevator button. It was a small ride to Clarke's floor, only two floors. They stepped out and Clarke came to a stop in front of her door. She pulled out her keys and turned to look at Lexa.

“Thank you, Lexa.”

Her colleague shrugged, “It wasn’t much.”

“Still.” Clarke said. She had a few seconds of hesitation before stepping closer and pulling Lexa into a hug.

Lexa wrapped her arms around her waist and Clarke couldn’t find the words to describe how good it felt to be in Lexa's arms. All too soon, Lexa pulled away and Clarke almost surged forward to make it last just a little bit longer. Almost.

Lexa's cheeks were flushed, she noted. Probably the cold, she told herself. Her eyes fell to Lexa's lips of their own accord and it was becoming clear that it would be hard to tear her gaze away now.

“I’ll see you on Monday?” Lexa interrupted Clarke's thoughts and the blonde could only hope Lexa hadn’t noticed where her attention had been directed.

“Y-yeah.” she awkwardly stuttered out, “See you.” she hurried to say before turning her keys into the lock, “Thank you again for the ride.”

“Anytime.” Lexa said, shoving her hands into her coat’s pockets, not because she was cold but because she was afraid she would be tempted to reach out to Clarke in one way or another, “Goodnight, Griffin.”

“Goodnight, Lexa.” Clarke said before disappearing behind her closed door.

Lexa sighed and rubbed a hand down her face, staring at the now empty space in front of the woman's door.

There's no denying it anymore.

On the other side of the door, Clarke was having similar thoughts.

Clarke realized too late that she had forgotten to give Lexa her scarf back.

 

 


	9. "You're being an asshole."

 

**Monday, February the 20th**

 

Clarke groaned when she realized she had forgotten to grade the stack of paper that had been lying on her desk at home for the whole duration of the weekend. And she was most definitely not motivated to do it now,

She grabbed Lexa's scarf, which was around her neck and which she had yet to give back, and breathed into it. It still smelled faintly like the woman. She blushed when she caught Anya looking at her from afar, the question clear in her eyes.

The door to the break room opened and Lexa walked in. Instantly, Clarke pulled her scarf off herself and handed it to the brunette, “I forgot to give it back, sorry.”

Lexa accepted it with a nod, “Where is Niylah?” she then asked, “I have a letter for her. The principal instructed me to hand it to her whenever I saw her but she's nowhere to be seen.”

“She got sick.” Clarke informed her, “She let me know this morning.”

Lexa groaned and dropped down on the stool in front of Clarke, “What am I supposed to do with this now?” she waved the envelope around.

“I can give it to her after school, if you want. I know where her apartment is.”

Lexa shook her head, “And risk you being contaminated by whatever virus she caught? No. I’ll go myself, just give me the address.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “I really don’t understand why you wouldn’t want me to go.”

“You said it yourself, winter is your worst enemy because you get sick easily. I’m less at risk here.”

She wasn’t about to reveal to Clarke that the actual reason was that she didn’t want Clarke and Niylah alone together for longer than what was strictly necessary.

Clarke wrote the address on a small piece of paper and slid it across to Lexa, “There. She hides a spare key under her entry mat, in case she doesn’t respond to the doorbell for one reason or another.”

“Who keeps a key under their doormat?” Lexa wondered aloud, “It’s like asking burglars to rob you.”

Clarke smiled, “I don’t disagree.” she conceded, “And we have told her many times but she refuses to hear us.”

 _Stupid_.

Lexa picked up the piece of paper and stuffed it in her pocket, “I guess I’ve got to go tell the principal that Niylah won’t be here today..”

“I can go.” Clarke said, rising from her seat, “You just got here.” Lexa was about to argue but Clarke shook her head, clearly indicating it wasn’t up for debate, “By the way, you’ve got some cream on your lip.” she added with a smirk.

Lexa hurried to wipe at her upper lip, a blush taking over her cheeks.

“I thought you only drank your coffee black.” Clarke teased with a smirk.

“What can I say? Some basic bitch has been influencing me lately.” Lexa retorted, drawing a laugh from her colleague.

“Really? You should introduce her to me. I’m sure she must be quite the special one to manage such a miracle.”

Lexa smiled, “She is quite special.” she softly said. Blue bore into green for a few heavy seconds. Lexa was the first to break eye contact, “So...talk to you later?”

“Yeah.” Clarke said, smiling dumbly, “Bye.” she waved before walking out of the room, a small, almost indiscernible bounce to her steps.

Anya dropped down on the chair opposite Lexa, “You gave her your scarf.” was all she said.

“We went to my brother's soccer game together. She was cold and tends to get sick easily apparently.” Lexa shrugged, “So I gave her my scarf.”

Anya smiled, “Look at you being nice.” Anya ruffled Lexa's hair, getting a groan out of Lexa.

“Stop that.” Lexa grabbed her hair and put it into a neat bun, using the hairband she always kept on her left wrist.

Anya cleared her throat, “So now you invite her to your family gatherings but you don’t invite me anymore?” she asked, hurt lacing her words.

“Because you would embarrass me in front of my family.” Lexa retorted, then noted the sincerity in Anya's words, “Next time you'll come with, I promise.”

That seemed to be enough for Anya who wordlessly pulled out her laptop and started working on it, “Lincoln asked when we could get together again.” she said after a few minutes.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s not an answer he will like.”

Lexa sighed, “I know…” she pinched the bridge of her nose, “I might be free next weekend.”

“Are you sure?”

“I never am and you know that.”

“Lex…”

“Okay, okay, this time I promise I won’t ditch it. I’ll be there, just tell me when.” she relented, knowing she hadn’t been the best of friends lately.

Anya smiled and dialed Lincoln's phone number. Lexa rolled her eyes when her best friend and brother started teasing her about what a miracle it was that she had agreed.

“Do not make me regret that decision.”

  


\--------

  


Lexa muttered a few choice words as she climbed the stairs leading to Niylah's apartment. She remembered what Clarke had told her and reached under the mat, finding a key that gave access to the inside.

“What a fucking idiot.” she thought out loud as she turned the key in the lock and entered the woman's apartment, “Niylah?” she called out.

“Who is it?”

“Lexa Woods.”

She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds, then…

“I thought Clarke would come.”

 _Of course you did,_ Lexa bit on her tongue to keep herself from saying something stupid and/or rude.

“I thought I’d spare her the drive since I live closer to here than she does.” Lexa explained when she walked into the other woman's bedroom, “The principal wanted to give you this.” Lexa waved the letter in the air, then carefully placed it on the nightstand, “With that, I have to leave. Get well soon, I guess.”

“Clarke will never be with someone like you, you know.” Niylah said right before Lexa crossed the threshold.

“Excuse me?” the brunette turned around slowly, features hard and teeth clenched.

“Clarke is an elegant, well-spoken, kind and outgoing woman. All things that you are not. She would never want to date someone who is so different from who she is as a person. If I were you, I wouldn't bother trying.”

“Good thing I’m not interested in dating Clarke, then.” Lexa almost cringed at the blatant lie, “She’s all yours.” she said before storming off, barely refraining from slamming the door behind her. A display of anger would just prove Niylah right.

She was fuming. Who did Niylah think she was to speak to her of the sort? But it also got her thinking. Niylah wasn’t entirely wrong. Clarke and her did have very few things in common. They did argue on things more often than not and their personalities couldn’t be more different but wasn’t it why they worked so well together?

Maybe Niylah was right. Maybe she didn’t stand a fucking chance with Clarke. Maybe Clarke was out of her league. _Not that I was interested,_ she kept lying to herself.

She climbed into her car. No longer in the mood to do anything, she ate quickly, jumped in the shower, then got ready for bed, Niylah's words playing over and over in her head.

Maybe she wasn’t worthy of Clarke.

  


**Tuesday, February the 21st**

  


The next morning, Clarke instantly noticed a shift in Lexa's behavior. Upon arriving at the school, Clarke had been her usual cheery, happy self but her enthusiasm and optimism had been received poorly by the brunette.

Instead of retorting with a snarky comment like she had taken the habit of doing, Lexa had ignored her. She had spoken the bare minimum of two words.

 _Good morning,_ that was the only thing Clarke had gotten out of her for the last ten minutes, and it wasn’t for a lack of trying.

“Lex?”

A hum. Still no words.

“Is something wrong? You seem...off.”

Lexa shook her head, “I’m good.”

 _Two word replies, great,_ Clarke thought, _Gotta try harder._

“I’ve seen that they plan to play old movies tonight in the city center.” she said with a smile, “I bought two tickets.”

“Good for you.” Lexa smiled but it was fake, “I heard Niylah talk about it last week. You should ask her to go with you.”

Clarke's smile fell, “Oh, I don’t know…”

“Why? Were you planning on bringing someone else?”

Clarke blinked twice, wondering if Lexa was doing this on purpose or if she really was _that_ oblivious, “No, no one special.” she lied, “I guess I’ll ask Niylah then.” she said, hoping to get a reaction.

“Good idea.” Lexa said before pushing herself off her seat, “I have to go.” she mumbled.

Clarke watched her leave, confused and slightly offended that Lexa couldn’t bother to speak more than a few words to her. It was as if they weren't friends at all. As if Lexa had grown tired of her after all.

She grabbed one of her colleagues, “Hey, do you think I’m boring?”

The guy, whose name she had forgotten, shook his head, “No?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Clarke huffed and released him, motioning for him to walk away. He did so without asking any more questions, “He thinks I’m boring, meaning Lexa thinks I’m annoying as fu- _fudge”_ Clarke corrected when she saw the principal walk past her, “Hello, sir.” she said cheerfully.

“I’ve told you many times to just call me Marcus, Clarke.”

“Will do.” Clarke said, snapping her fingers, then proceeding to do finger guns.

 _Finger guns, really?_ she told herself, turning on her heels and leaving the room as quickly as possible, heat creeping up her neck. _Great_ . _Today is just great._

  


\-------------

  


Anya climbed inside Lexa's car, “You’re taking me home today. My driver just texted and he can’t come.”

“Lincoln is usually your driver, wherever you go.” Lexa pointed out.

“Exactly.”

“But he never comes to pick you up from here. He works until 6. Hence why I always have to drive your lazy ass home. Why are you acting like it’s the first time?”

“I take the bus sometimes.”

“Very rarely.” Lexa rolled her eyes, “When are you going to get a car?”

Anya smiled, “I do own a car.”

Lexa frowned, “Then why exactly do you get people to drive you around every damn time?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you? I got my driving license taken away from me two years ago after insulting the cop who pulled me over because I was going too fast.”

Lexa sighed, “You’re impossible.” she placed her keys in the ignition.

“And too lazy to get my license a second time. It was a miracle I got it in the first place seeing how bad I am at driving.” Anya said with a pensive look, “I think the guy who did my evaluation must have had a little bit of a crush on me because I’m almost certain I didn’t stop at two stop signs.”

“You’re a complete disaster. I almost want to thank the heavens that you got your license taken away. You would have killed someone otherwise.” Lexa said, starting her car and pulling out of the parking space, “What did you say to that police officer anyway?”

“Nothing much.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“I might have screamed a little.”

“Just a little?”

Anya smirked, “You know me too well.” she ruffled Lexa's hair.

“An, I’m driving.” Lexa complained, pushing her hair away from her eyes so she could see the road ahead.

“And you’re doing it so well. Whoever said gays can’t drive obviously hasn’t met you.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Not all gays are horrible drivers, or cooks for that matter.” she said, “It’s just an excuse gays give because they’re too lazy to actually learn how to drive.”

“Calling your people out like that isn’t very nice, Lexa. They’re trying their best.”

Lexa snorted, “Shut up.”

Anya started tapping her fingers distractedly against the window. She hummed a tune that Lexa didn’t recognize, then stopped abruptly, “Niylah seemed particularly happy this afternoon.” she noted, lost in her thoughts.

“I bet she was.” Lexa muttered, annoyed.

“You know something that I don’t.” Anya accused, “Spill.”

“I don't know anything.” Lexa lied, “Maybe she got some really good news this morning, what the heck do I know?”

“Don’t lie to me, Lexy. You know it never works.”

“And you know I’ve asked you to stop calling me that a thousand times already.” Lexa said, throwing a brief glare in Anya's direction before focusing back on the road.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

Lexa groaned, “Clarke invited her to go see some old films in the city center, that’s why. Now leave me alone.”

“Clarke invited...her?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“What the fuck do I know?” Lexa said, anger seeping into her voice, “Niylah has been into her for a long time and she decided to give her a chance, good for them.”

“Oh, Lexa.”

“What?”

Anya sighed, “Please, tell me you’re not the one who told Clarke to invite Niylah.”

Lexa stayed silent.

“Lexa…”

“She had bought two tickets and talked about someone she wanted to take with. Besides, she didn’t correct me when I mentioned Niylah.” Lexa reasoned, “That’s what she wanted to do all along, I haven’t impacted her decision in the slightest.”

“Did she say the second ticket was for Niylah?”

Lexa took a turn to the left with her car and frowned, “She said it wasn’t for anyone special” she suddenly remembered.

“Did she say this before or after you told her to go with Niylah?”

“After but what does that have to do with anything?” Lexa was growing frustrated. She stopped at a red light and huffed.

“Lexa, you are such a dumbass.”

“Thanks.” the brunette rolled her eyes.

“If Clarke told you about the tickets she bought, it’s because she wanted to go with _you,_ not with Niylah.”

Lexa let out a breathy and disbelieving laugh, “Yeah, right.” she scoffed, “Why would Clarke want to go with me?” she pressed down on the pedal and turned left.

Anya raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, why?” she repeated, looking pointedly at her best friend.

“Don’t look at me like that…” Lexa said as she parked in front of Anya's apartment building.

“Like what?”

“Like I’ve made a stupid mistake.”

“Haven’t you?”

Lexa let her head drop against the steering wheel, “What did you want me to say?”

“You could have accepted Clarke's obvious invite for you to join her.” Anya said, her tone void of any teasing, leaving room to a certain gentleness instead, “She would have been happy to go with you.”

Lexa shook her head, “Niylah, she…”

“She what?”

“She made it pretty clear she didn’t want me to hang out with Clarke.”

“Since when do you listen to her?”

Lexa sighed, “I don’t want to get in between them, alright? Niylah has been into Clarke for a long time and she isn’t a bad person so I guess she deserves to at least have a chance to go on a date with Clarke.”

“Do you really think this is what Clarke wants?”

“I…” Lexa stopped to think. _What if Clarke wasn’t even interested in Niylah and she had just pushed her towards the other woman?_ She buried her face in her hands, “I didn’t ask her that. I’m so stupid.”

“I agree.”

Lexa scowled, “It doesn't matter now.” she said resolutely, “Clarke is going to go see that movie with Niylah and that’s all there is to it.”

“Seriously? After all of this you’re still hellbound on letting them go together?”

Lexa nodded, “I don’t know why I wouldn’t be. Clarke is my friend, not my fucking property.”

“A friend whom you have feelings for.”

“I do not.” Lexa said through gritted teeth, “Will you please let this go? She's going out with Niylah and I’m perfectly fine with that. Clarke and I are just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be.”

Anya sighed, shoulder slumped in defeat, “If you say so, squid.” she quietly said, unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out of the car, “Thanks for the ride.”

“You’ll pay me for all the supplementary trips to the gas station. You know how high gas prices are.”

“I'll pay you your first two rounds at the bar on Friday.”

 _Right, almost forgot about that,_ Lexa thought to herself, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” she waved her friend goodbye before driving away.

_Was it a mistake to push Clarke into Niylah's waiting arms?_

“Nah.” she told herself, a part of doubt remaining in a small corner of her brain, a small voice screaming _yes_ very loudly, _yes, it was._

  


\-----------

  


She was now laying in bed, her phone in her hand. Lexa waited for the screen to light up with a new message but unfortunately, the screen kept its dark aspect. She sighed.

Ten minutes ago, she had caved and sent a message to Clarke, asking if she was enjoying her night. Still no reply. Maybe Clarke was actually having a good time and hadn’t seen her message yet. The idea of it somehow didn't sit well with her.

  


\---------

  


Clarke was bored.

The movie playing was one she had seen a couple times already and would have enjoyed, had she been watching it with someone else. Had she been watching it with the person she initially wanted to bring with. It wasn't that she didn’t enjoy Niylah's company, but the reminder that she could have been doing this with Lexa made everything seem bitter.

She was pulled away from her thoughts when she felt a hand settle on her own. Her brow furrowed and she looked to her left to see Niylah already looking at her with a smile. She pushed aside the voice in her head telling her that it would have been more enjoyable, had it been Lexa's hand instead of Niylah's. She settled for keeping her hand where it was. She didn’t make a move but didn’t pull away from Niylah's touch either.

Her phone vibrated with a new text message. With her free hand, she reached for it.

_Lexa_

Spitefully, she locked her phone and set it aside. If Lexa couldn’t make time for her during the day, she had no reason to answer the woman's text. Two could play at this game.

  


\-----------

  


She drove Niylah home when the movie ended. They were standing in front of the other woman's apartment building and Clarke could see Niylah was seconds away from trying something.

 _Maybe Lexa wasn’t wrong when she said Niylah was into me,_ she realized in that moment. The thought made her feel slightly uneasy. She racked her brain for a way to let Niylah down gently, without hurting her feelings too much. She wasn’t interested in dating the woman but she realized in that moment how her actions might have implied otherwise and she suddenly felt guilty for not coming to that conclusion sooner.

“It was nice.” Niylah cut through the silence, taking a cautious step towards Clarke.

“Yeah.” Clarke laughed nervously.

“We should do this more often.” Niylah added, “Just you and me. That'd be nice.” she suggested.

 _Fuck. Lexa was right._ The one time she wished for Lexa to be wrong, the woman was right. _Again._

“Yeah, maybe. If I find the time. You know how crazy this job can get.” Clarke rubbed the back of her neck.

Her eyes widened when Niylah stepped even closer and, panicking, she did the first thing she could think of and hugged the woman very briefly.

“Anyway, see you at school!” she said in an overly cheerful voice before retreating towards her car, suspiciously fast.

Niylah gave her an awkward wave, uselessly trying to mask her obvious disappointment, “See you!” she shouted before Clarke climbed inside her car, sending the woman one last smile.

Clarke drove away, “Shit.” she said to herself, “Shit, shit, shit.”

The look in Niylah's eyes before Clarke fled. There was no mistaking it. Her colleague thought this had been a date, rightfully so since Clarke had given no indication that it was anything but.

And now, Clarke was conflicted as to how she should tell Niylah that nothing would ever happen between them. She could be forward and risk hurting the other woman’s feelings or she could let her down gently but still risk hurting her feelings. She was screwed in either cases.

She dropped heavily on her bed as soon as she was home.

_I shouldn’t have invited Niylah._

Something snapped inside of her and her brow furrowed. If Lexa knew of Niylah's feelings, why had she willingly pushed her towards the woman? Was it to purposely hurt Niylah? She pressed on Lexa's contact name, anger settling inside her as it rang.

_“Hello?”_

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you? I can’t believe how stupid I was to fall for it.”

_“What are you talking about?”_

“You _knew_ Niylah was into me so why did you tell me to invite her out tonight?”

_“I figured you might enjoy a night out with her. She’s a good person.”_

“But I told you I wasn’t interested in her like that.” Clarke pointed out.

_“You never told me that.”_

“Quit acting like you’re stupid.”

_“I don’t understand, Griffin. As far as I know, I did not force you to go watch that movie with Niylah. You made that choice.”_

“Because you-” she stopped speaking abruptly.

_“Because…?”_

Clarke sighed, “You’re so dumb sometimes.”

_“Excuse me?”_

“I wanted to go with _you_.”

_“What?”_

Clarke groaned, “Don’t make me repeat it.” her cheeks were tinted in red and she almost wanted to hang up the call.

 _“I don’t-”_ Clarke heard her sigh, _“I didn't know. I thought-”_

“Is it really that absurd of a thought that I would want to go with you?” Clarke asked, “I thought we were…something…whatever that is.”

  


<<<>>>

  


_“You've been avoiding me lately, don't think I haven’t noticed. Can you at least give me a reason for it?”_

Lexa swallowed heavily when she noted the hurt in Clarke's voice, “Niylah sees me as a threat.” she revealed, “She made it pretty clear that she was interested in pursuing a relationship with you and saw me as an obstacle. I simply stepped aside.”

_“And since when do you bow to people’s wishes?”_

Lexa wished she had a valid answer to that, a good reason for her recent behavior. Truth was, she had seen in Niylah's words an easy way out. It was the perfect opportunity to distance herself from Clarke and try to forget about the feelings she was quickly developing for the woman, _too quickly._

_“Lexa, if you didn’t want to go with me, you could have just said so…”_

Lexa's eyes widened, “No, wait, that’s not it.” she hurried to say.

_“Is it not? Look, if you want me to stop speaking to you altogether, I can. I’m not saying I want to but if that’s what you want, then I guess-”_

There it was. Another easy way out. All she had to do was agree to this. But how could she when she could hear the disappointment in Clarke's voice?

“I do not want that.” Lexa interrupted her colleague, “I got scared, it’s all.”

_“Of what?”_

“Opening up.” Lexa revealed, a lump forming in her throat, “I never get close to people and somehow you...you forced your way through and I don’t know how to-” she sighed, “I just don't know.”

 _“I don’t intend to hurt you, Lexa. Not now, not ever.”_ Clarke tried to reassure her, _“I value our friendship, I truly do. I just need you to trust me.”_

“It’s hard for me to do that.”

 _“I hadn’t noticed.”_ Clarke joked and it drew a small laugh from Lexa.

“It must be pretty annoying having to deal with me on a daily basis. I know I’m not the easiest person to be around and for that I apologize.”

_“I think you underestimate yourself.”_

Lexa scoffed.

_“No, hear me out. I think you pretend to have high self-esteem but you’re actually very insecure. I think you won’t ever admit to it but you use sarcasm to distract from the fact that you’re not comfortable in a social setting.”_

Lexa's heartbeat quickened. It was frightening how spot on Clarke was. In just a couple months, the blonde had her nearly all figured out and that scared Lexa. She hated feeling powerless and she had never felt as vulnerable as she did then.

“You don’t know me.”

_“I think that's where you're wrong. I think I know more about you than most people and I think that scared you. Hence why you've been avoiding me.”_

Lexa hung up the phone and closed her eyes, “She's wrong.” she repeated, “I’m not...insecure.” it sounded wrong, even coming from her own lips.

Her phone buzzed.

 **Clarke - 10.08pm:** _I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m just telling you that you can trust me. I don’t plan on using all of that against you. If anything, it makes you seem even more incredible in my eyes_

Lexa was taken aback.

 **Lexa - 10.09pm:** _You think I'm incredible?_

 **Clarke - 10.10pm:** _I do. I admire your strength, Lexa. I don’t know what happened to you in the past that made you the way you are today but it doesn’t matter. You’re still here, thriving in spite of it. That's pretty incredible to me_

Lexa's bottom lip started quivering and she tried to no avail to stop the tears stinging her eyes, “You have to stop saying things like that.” she whispered aloud.

 **Lexa - 10.11pm:** _Thank you, Clarke._

 **Clarke - 10.11pm:** _Careful, someone might think you like me with how much you’ve used my first name lately_

 **Lexa - 10.12pm:** _It happened maybe twice…_

 **Clarke - 10.12pm:** _That’s a lot coming from you_ ;)

Lexa smiled.

 **Clarke - 10.13pm:** _Maybe next time, don’t avoid me, yeah?_

Guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. She started typing a message, then deleted it, then typed another one and deleted it again, groaning in frustration.

 **Lexa - 10.15pm:** _Okay._

 _This is such a dumb answer,_ she thought to herself, clenching her eyes.

 **Clarke - 10.15pm:** _It’s getting late. I should let you go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow? If you don’t suddenly decide to avoid me_

 _I deserved that,_ Lexa thought.

 **Lexa - 10.16pm:** _Have a goodnight, Griffin. I'll see you tomorrow._

  


**Wednesday, February the 22nd**

  


“Raven get off me.” Clarke said, trying to push the brunette away, “Why are you even here?”

“Because I missed my best friend. Am I not allowed to?”

Clarke smiled, “I missed you too.” she said, “Now get off me.” she freed herself from the other girl's embrace.

“That is not a way to treat your best friend.” Raven pointed out, “Especially since I come bearing good news.”

“What news?”

“I found your colleague's twitter account.” Raven grinned, unlocking her phone.

“Which colleague?” Clarke frowned.

“The one you have a crush on.”

“I don’t have a crush on Lexa.” Clarke rolled her eyes.

Raven smirked and Clarke realized then her mistake, “Funny, I didn’t mention Lexa, not even once. I wonder why she’s the one you instantly thought of.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve been told a few times, doesn’t matter because you’ll love me in a few seconds.” Raven fumbled with her phone, then turned the screen towards Clarke, “Here is your big bad commander’s most secret thoughts.” she smiled, satisfied with herself.

Clarke hesitated. She felt like it was an invasion of Lexa's privacy but at the same time, her curiosity had been piqued and she wanted to know.

“Give me that.” she took the phone from her best friend and scrolled down.

 **Username** @ThisIsStupid

“Did she really put _username_ as her username?” Clarke asked herself out loud.

“Did you expect anything different?” Raven asked, laughing.

Clarke smiled, “Not even a little. This is exactly the kind of thing she would do.”

“She’s weird.”

“She’s…interesting.” Clarke laughed, “Unconventional and pretty stoic all the time but you should see when she smiles.” she said, “It’s…”

“Beautiful, wonderful, breathtaking?” Raven completed with a knowing smile, “You’re so whipped, Griffin.”

“Shut up.”

Clarke looked down at the phone in her hand, cheeks flushed.

 **Username** @ThisIsStupid: _Some people are like clouds, when they go away, it’s a beautiful day_

She snorted, “Very kind and thoughtful.” she commented before scrolling down and reading another tweet.

 **Username** @ThisIsStupid: _Sometimes I wonder why you did it. Why you had to hurt me so greatly, for no apparent reason. Was I not enough?_

Clarke felt guilty reading this. She didn’t think she had the right to pry that far into Lexa's private life, “Um, you should take this back. I don’t think I should be reading this.”

Raven frowned and looked down, “You’re too considerate. I could never relate.” she pinched Clarke's cheeks, “Such a good person.”

Clarke smiled and slapped Raven's hand away, “Yeah, okay.” she laughed, “You’re an awful human being, no need to remind us.”

Raven smiled, “Thank you. Now, you’re going to tell me everything about this Lexa.” she said, crossing her legs and leaning forward to listen more intently.

Clarke groaned, “Fine.” she relented, “But you can’t speak until I’m finished.”

Raven nodded seriously.

“Okay, where to start…”

  


\----------

  


“You’re so whipped.” Raven said when Clarke finished speaking, “How have you not asked her out yet?”

Clarke sighed and lied down on her back, on the hard floor of her apartment, “She would say no.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Have you tried already? How can you be so sure she won’t agree?” Raven asked, lying down on her stomach, hands supporting her head.

“Because we’ve talked once about how we felt in regards to relationships and she made it clear she was tired of her friends pushing for her to find someone.”

“When was that conversation?”

“I don't know, last month maybe?”

“So ages ago.” Raven concluded, “A lot can happen in a month. Maybe she has changed her mind.”

“Unlikely.”

“But not impossible. You won’t know unless you try.” Raven said. She raised an eyebrow and looked at her best friend expectantly, “You can’t tell me you’re not a little bit curious to know if she would say yes.”

“I don’t want to lose what I have with her, okay? We have this amazing friendship which is already pretty fragile and I don’t want to lose this.”

“Fragile?”

“I can’t figure her out.” Clarke sighed, looking up at her ceiling, her hands resting on her stomach, “We’re so different, Rae. And I’m always scared I’m going to say the wrong thing and she’s going to shut me out.”

“Why would she?”

“She already has in the past. Or stupid things happen, like with Niylah and everything. She just-”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Raven interrupted, “What happened with Niylah? Please tell me you didn’t sleep with her.”

“What?” Clarke frowned, “Why would I sleep with Niylah?”

“Because she’s very clearly trying to date you. That woman is _so_ into you, it’s almost painful to watch. I can’t imagine having to go through that on a daily basis.”

“You’ve only seen Niylah three times.”

“And it was enough for me to see the obvious. I hope for Lexa she doesn’t have feelings for you yet cause that must be painful for her to witness.”

Clarke shook her head, “Lexa's not into me so that’s not an issue.”

“Right.” Raven wasn’t convinced, “What happened with Niylah anyway?”

“Well, I wanted to invite Lexa to see a movie last night but before I could ask her, she told me I should go with Niylah.”

“Why?”

“When I confronted her about it, she said some bullshit about not wanting to be an obstacle between Niylah and I.”

Raven hummed, “Makes sense.”

“How does it make any sense? There is nothing going on between Niylah and I.”

Raven smiled, “Yeah, but Lexa doesn’t know that. Unless you two often talk about your relationship status?”

Clarke stayed quiet.

“My point exactly.” Raven said.

“Thing is, I think I fucked up.”

Raven frowned and crawled towards Clarke, “How so?”

“Because Lexa rejected my invitation before I could even invite her, I went to the movies with Niylah but I think she thought it was a date.”

Raven winced, “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Tell Niylah that nothing will ever happen between us before she gets the wrong idea.”

Raven scowled, “I think she already has got the wrong idea, babe.”

Clarke groaned, “I hate this. Why is this all happening to me?” she threw her hands in the air.

“Yeah, poor you, having someone attracted to you must be horrible.” Raven teased.

“Two people, you forgot about Bellamy.” Clarke smirked, “But that’s a whole other story.”

“Three people.” Raven corrected, “There's also Lexa.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and reached for a cushion on the couch, placing it under her head, “Lexa's not attracted to me. We’re just friends.”

“And I’m Michelle Obama.”

“Shut up.”

Raven shook her head with a smile, “You’re so oblivious, Clarkey. _Te quiero pero eres estupida.”_ **_(I love you but you're stupid)_ **

“Very kind of you, thank you.”

“You should definitely be honest with Niylah. She won’t like hearing it but it’s better than having her think she has a chance with you.” Raven reasoned, “And you could also ask Lexa out.”

“Yes to the first part, no to the second.”

Raven groaned. She threw a pillow in Clarke's face, “You’re so boring. Take some risks sometimes. You won’t- _oomph”_ she was cut off when Clarke threw the pillow back in Raven's face.

“And you’re annoying as fuck. Now go order us some pizza. I’m hungry.”

 _“Siempre me tratas como si fuera una esclava.”_ **_(you always treat me as if I were a slave)_ **

“Don’t play the victim.” Clarke said, laughing.

Raven winked and all but dramatically dragged herself towards her phone, “See what you make me do? How cruel can you be?”

Clarke smirked, “Faster, please.”

Raven huffed, “You will ask Lexa out.” she pointed a finger at her best friend, “I’ll make sure of that.”

“Yeah, okay.” Clarke said, picking at her nails, _“I don’t think I can.”_ she said, more quietly so that only she could hear.

  


**Thursday, February the 23rd**

  


Clarke looked up when she heard the sound of a door opening, then closing. She got up from her desk when she saw who was standing by the door.

“Niylah! It’s great that you’re here. I kind of, um, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Great, cause I wanted to talk about something too.” Niylah said with a smile, stepping closer.

Clarke rounded her desk and leaned against it, “So, about Tuesday night.”

“The movie.” Niylah nodded, her smile still on her face, “I remember, yes.”

“Yeah...the movie.” Clarke said, letting out an awkward laugh, “About that-”

“It was really nice.” Niylah interrupted, moving even closer, “I really enjoyed it.”

Clarke suddenly regretted her decision to lean against her desk, for she was now trapped between the piece of furniture and Niylah who was now much closer than what Clarke felt comfortable with.

“Yeah, so...I don’t know what you thought it was but-”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Niylah asked, arching one eyebrow, “It was a date. I’m not...imagining things, right?”

Niylah was only inches away now and Clarke opened her mouth to deny the woman's words when the door flew open and Lexa appeared in the threshold.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were busy.” the brunette said, looking at the position her two colleagues were in.

Niylah was standing close to Clarke and her hand was resting on the desk, beside Clarke's body. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. Well, what _appeared_ to be going on.

Niylah took a step back and Clarke seized the opportunity to move away from the desk. She cleared her throat, “What did you want?”

“Nothing important.” Lexa answered, seeing Niylah's smug look. She tried to control the anger she felt at the sight of it, “I’m sorry for disturbing you. I’ll be on my way now.”

With that, she was gone, before Clarke could formulate a single sentence. She felt a presence behind her and turned on her heels, taking a step back, surprised by the sudden close proximity of Niylah.

“Where were we?”

Clarke's eyes widened when she saw Niylah lean in and she placed her hands on the other woman's shoulders, “Wow, hold on.” she said, slightly pushing her away, keeping her at arm's length.

“What’s wrong? I thought-”

“Listen, I…” Clarke sighed, “I’m sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression or if my actions made it look like Tuesday night was a date but it wasn’t.”

“What?”

“I’m not looking for a relationship, Niylah. I’m sorry.”

“At least you could give me a real reason and not some dumb excuse about not looking for a relationship.” Niylah's demeanor shifted and her fists closed at her side, anger taking over.

“It's not some dumb excuse.” Clarke defended, taking a step back, “I’m telling you the truth.”

“I bet you wouldn’t be saying the same thing if it had been Lexa trying to kiss you.” Niylah laughed bitterly.

“What does Lexa have to do with any of this?” Clarke's brow furrowed, “Lexa and I are just friends.”

Niylah scoffed, “Keep telling yourself that.” she pushed past Clarke and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

“That went well.” Clarke said before dropping on a chair. She buried her head in her hands and groaned. _I wish I could go back to when things were easier,_ she thought.

  


**Friday, February the 24th**

  


Hesitantly, she walked up to Lexa’s table and placed a coffee on it, “It’s black, just like you like it.” she chanced a smile and lingered for a few seconds.

After what seemed like an eternity, Lexa raised her gaze and scanned the cup of coffee for long seconds, “You should give that to Niylah.”

“Niylah and I aren’t together.”

“Neither are we.” Lexa sharply said, “Don’t treat me like a fool, Griffin.” she clicked her pen and let it drop on the table, finally raising her gaze to meet Clarke's eyes, “I saw what I saw. I’m not going to tell anyone, if that’s what you're worried about.”

“There is nothing between Niylah and I.”

Lexa sighed, “Look, I get it. You don’t want people to know. It’s a small school, rumors spread fast. I won’t tell anyone.”

Clarke was growing frustrated, “There is nothing to tell because there is _nothing_ going on between Niylah and I.” she insisted.

“Whatever you say.” Lexa flipped the page of a file and started writing inside it, blatantly ignoring the other teacher’s presence.

“What is your problem?” Clarke said, pulling a chair out and taking a seat opposite Lexa, “Huh?”

“My problem is that you somehow think I care about your relationship status when really, I couldn’t care less.” Lexa said, throwing her pen onto the table.

“Why won’t you believe me when I tell you that nothing-”

“ _Is going on between Niylah and you.”_ Lexa finished the sentence, “Yes, I heard the three first times you said it. I just don’t believe you and it doesn’t matter anyway because I _do_ _not care.”_

“You’re being an asshole.”

“Were you expecting anything else from me? Seriously?”

Clarke got up, “I thought we were past that. I’m getting tired of being treated like shit by people I thought had my back. I actually started really liking you in the past month but you’ve just proved again that you’re just a jerk.” she said before storming out of the room.

Lexa pursed her lips and watched her leave without voicing any complaints. She had asked for this after all. She had no one to blame for it but herself.

She felt a few stares on her and fixed other teachers with a glare, “What are you looking at?” she asked harshly, making most of them look away abruptly.

She threw the files she was working on inside her messenger bag and slung it over her shoulder before rising from her seat. She stopped moving when her eyes settled on the hot cup of coffee still on the table, taunting her. After a few seconds of deliberation, she grabbed the cup of coffee with her to her classroom. _Cause it would be a waste to throw it away,_ she told herself.

She wanted to bring it back to Clarke but knew she would get shut down instantly. So she drank it instead, the bitter taste of it doing nothing to make her feel better about the recent events. _What an idiot._

Her pride was what kept her from apologizing to Clarke. Her pride and also the fear of yet another rejection. She knew there was a high probability of her apology being denied. After all, apologies are useless if they're not followed by actions to support them.

  


\-----------

  


Anya walked up to Lexa and looped an arm around her shoulder, “Lincoln said he’d meet us at the bar at 9.” she smiled, “Luna and Echo will join us too.”

“About that-”

“No.” Anya said.

“You don’t even know what I was about to say.” Lexa frowned.

“You were about to cancel tonight and I’m telling you, unless someone is dying, this is not happening.”

“My will to go is dying.”

“Not good enough.” Anya shook her head, “You’re going with us.”

Lexa sighed, “I’m not in the mood.”

“You never are.” Anya remarked, “It’s been so long since we all hung out together. Come on!”

“Fine.” Lexa relented.

“Yes!” Anya said, “Thank you.” she kissed the top of Lexa's head, “Now drive us home. We have to get ready for tonight.”

“It’s four hours away.”

“So?”

  


\------------

  


The bar was cozy. There weren’t many people and the music was one Lexa could appreciate. She was in the middle of a conversation with her brother and Luna. Momentarily, she forgot about the fight she had had with Clarke in the afternoon.

The slight buzz of the alcohol made her feel warm and at ease. She hadn’t drunk much, knowing she didn’t want tonight to be one of those nights she ended up remembering only vaguely. Besides, getting kicked out of a bar wasn’t in her plans for the evening.

Anya plopped down on the seat beside her and put her arm around her shoulders, “See? I told you that you wouldn’t regret coming here.”

“Yeah, okay.” Lexa said, “It’s nice, I guess. Thank you for dragging me here.” she smiled at her friend.

“Oh, there they are!” Echo exclaimed, “I invited some friends from college, I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course. Where are they?” Lexa said with an easy smile. Her smile dropped when she saw who Echo was pointing at, in the back of the bar.

_Clarke._

It seemed they just couldn’t escape each other.

On the other end of the bar, the other teacher also did a double-take, her smile disappearing from her face, replaced by a frown and pursed lips.

_Well, she looks happy to see me._

  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. "You are so infuriating."

 

 

Clarke seemed just as surprised to see Lexa there. She turned towards Echo with a confused look, “They're the friends you wanted us to meet?”

Echo seemed confused by the turn of events, “Yes...do you know each other or something?”

“We are colleagues, actually.” Anya said, “Well, Clarke here is our colleague.”

“Oh? That's great!” Echo exclaimed, “At least we can skip the awkward introductions then.” she laughed.

Lexa rose from her seat, clearing her throat, “I’m going to step outside for a minute.” she mumbled, “Excuse me.” she walked past Clarke and Raven, heading towards the door.

“Okay…” Echo said, “What is her deal?”

Anya shrugged, “I don't know.”

Lincoln got up, “I’ll go check up on her.” he said, “Clarke, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Likewise.” the blonde offered a polite smile, her eyes following him until he disappeared outside.

Anya turned towards her, “Care to explain why Lexa's acting like this? As far as I know, you two were getting along pretty well.”

Clarke shrugged, “We might not get along that well, after all.” she said, “I’m gonna get something to drink. Rae, you want anything?”

“Just a beer.”

Clarke gave a nod, then left towards the bar, walking away from the awkwardness which had settled among the group of friends.

“So...I don’t believe we have met.” Luna cut through the silence, offering Raven her hand to shake, “I’m Luna, Lexa's friend, as crazy as that sounds.”

“I’m Raven, Clarke's best friend.” Raven smirked, “Pleasure to meet you, although it would have been preferable under other circumstances.”

Luna laughed, “Lexa's always like this. Don’t worry about it.”

“I know. I’ve heard stories.” Raven took a seat next to Luna, shrugging her jacket off her shoulders, “Clarke can’t quite shut up about her. Don’t tell her I told you that or else she might skin me alive.”

Luna smiled, amused, “How did you and Clarke meet?”

Raven smiled, “Well, in high school we got paired up for a chemistry experiment in lab class. I caused a small explosion and she took the blame. That’s when I knew it was real.” she finished telling her story when Clarke came back to their table, “Griffin, we were just talking about how we became friends.”

Clarke smiled, “You still owe me for that.

Two weeks of detention.  _ Two weeks.” _

“And I’ll forever love you for it, Clarkey.” Raven dropped a wet kiss on her cheek, laughing when Clarke moved away and wiped at her cheek, muttering something about how gross that was.

“That’s an unusual way to become friends.” Anya pointed out.

Raven hummed, “How did you become friends with Lexa?”

“Well, first we met at summer camp when she was eight but lost contact fairly quickly after. We met again when my parents moved in the house next to hers. We didn’t see each other for the first couple days. Then her mother forced her to bring a welcoming gift basket to us.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Lexa was still very young _ -she was maybe ten years old at the time- _ and the gift basket was so big that you almost couldn’t see Lexa behind it.” Anya recounted.

Clarke wanted to smile at the mental picture of a small Lexa carrying a huge gift basket. She only managed to keep a neutral face by remembering why she was mad at the brunette in the first place.

“We instantly recognized each other from that summer camp we had gone to.” Anya smiled as she told the story, “One day, Lexa saw me playing soccer in my backyard and she dared me. She said she could beat me in a one on one game.”

“Could she?”

Anya smiled, “She absolutely couldn’t.” she laughed, “But to be fair, she was ten years old and I was already twelve so it wasn’t a fair fight.”

She grabbed her drink, taking a sip of it, feeling all eyes on her.

“So that’s how you became friends?” Clarke asked, quietly.

Anya nodded, “Everyday after that, she would come to my house asking for a rematch. She lost everytime but she wouldn’t give up.”

 

_ \--Flashback-- _

 

_ “Lexa, give up already, you’re never going to win.” Anya said, holding the soccer ball under her right foot. _

_ Lexa was lying on her back in the grass, chest heaving. Her arms were sprawled out at her sides in exhaustion, every muscle in her body aching from the exertion. _

_ “I’ll never give up.” she said with determination, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, “Not until I win.” she opened her eyes and rose to her feet, “Again.” she demanded. _

_ “Lexa, you’re too tired. You’re gonna pass out if you don’t stop.” _

_ Lexa shook her head, “Again.” _

_ Anya relented. They played one more game and surprisingly, despite her exhaustion, Lexa won. _

_ A bright smile appeared on her face. Anya smiled with her until she saw that Lexa was walking unsteadily, swaying from side to side, “Lexa, are you okay?” _

_ “I feel a little dizzy.” the brunette confessed before collapsing to the ground. _

_ “Shit.” Anya said, running towards her friend, “Mom!” she called out. _

_ Lexa was taken to the nearest hospital and they waited for her to wake up. When she did, Anya ran to her side, placing a palm on her forehead. _

_ Lexa looked up and a smile slowly appeared on her lips, “I won.” was the first thing she said, happiness and pride etched onto her face. _

 

_ \---End of flashback--- _

 

“She tired herself out to the point of fainting just because she refused to lose another time?” Clarke said.

Anya nodded, “She's not a quitter, I can tell you that much. She's the most determined and hard-working person I’ve ever met. Now more than ever.”

Clarke looked down at her hands. Lexa was impressive. Even as a kid, she just wouldn’t give up on something, no matter how long and how difficult it was to get it. That was dedication at its best.

“She works hard to get what she wants.” Anya added, “And that can be positive just like it can be negative. She sometimes forgets to take care of herself properly. She spends countless sleepless nights trying to figure out methods to better her ways of teaching, she forgets to eat sometimes…”

Clarke rose from her seat, “Excuse me. I need some air.” she hurried outside and spotted Lexa and Lincoln a few feet away, leaning against a car.

Lincoln saw her first. He gave her a smile, placed his hand on Lexa's shoulder and whispered something in her ear before moving away. As he walked by Clarke, he looked her in the eyes as he spoke, “Good luck with her. She can be a handful sometimes.”

“I’ve noticed.” Clarke smiled a little.

She stayed rooted where she was for a few seconds, just looking at her colleague from afar. Then her feet started moving forward, reducing the distance between them.

“Smoking kills.” was the first thing she said, “For someone who's trying to quit, you’re doing really bad at it.”

“I’m not in the mood for judgment, Griffin.” Lexa blew out the smoke and dropped her hand to her side.

Once she was at arm's length, Clarke reached for the cigarette, pried Lexa's fingers away from it and threw it on the ground, stomping on it afterwards.

Lexa didn’t protest. She probably would have done it herself if Clarke hadn’t.  _ Cigarette really tastes like shit,  _ she thought, wondering why she hadn’t properly quit smoking yet.

“Anya told me how you two became best friends.” Clarke said.

“What did she say? That I was the annoying and obnoxious kid who wouldn’t leave her alone?” Lexa scoffed.

“No.” Clarke said, softly, “She said that you passed out from exhaustion just to prove to her that you could beat her in a soccer game.”

Lexa stayed silent for a bit, “Pathetic, right?” she laughed humorlessly, “Even back then I was an idiot.”

“I think it was honorable.” Clarke argued, “And brave, especially at such a young age.”

“Don’t tell me you were impressed by my stupidity.”

Clarke shook her head, “As someone who studied medicine for a year, I wouldn't recommend it, but as your friend, I would say it was an admirable show of dedication.”

Lexa's head snapped up upon hearing the word  _ friend. _ Clarke smiled at her.

“You studied medicine?”

“Yeah, shortly. Then I realized it wasn't for me. That’s not really important right now, is it?”

“I don’t understand.” Lexa all but whispered, “Why are you even talking to me as if I deserve any form of kindness from you?”

“Because I think hearing this story made me realize something.”

“That I’m an idiot who refuses to admit their defeat? What a discovery.” Lexa scoffed, putting her hands in her pockets.

“No.” Clarke shook her head, “That you’re too proud and it makes you do stupid shit but not because you’re mean, it’s because you’re scared of not being in control. You can't accept when someone is in a position of power over you because it makes you feel vulnerable and weak.”

“I didn’t ask for you to psychoanalyze me.” Lexa kicked into a small rock which was lying on the side of the sidewalk.

“You don’t want me to figure you out.” Clarke continued, “That’s why everytime you start opening up, you begin acting like a jerk to push me away.”

“It’s not true.”

Clarke stepped closer, “That’s why whenever I confront you about it, you panic and say offensive shit.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Even now you just won’t admit it because you’re scared. You’re scared of what letting me in means.” 

Lexa's jaw clenched and she wanted to look away but couldn't tear her gaze away from the intensity of Clarke's eyes.

“Why won't you admit it?”

“Admit what?” Lexa asked in a small voice, her fear and uneasiness becoming obvious.

“That you can’t handle it when people start seeing you for who you really are. That you don’t want people to see past the facade you put on for show, otherwise they'd know  _ exactly _ how to hurt you.”

Lexa's breathing increased. Tears welled up in her eyes but she refused to look away, “No.”

Clarke laughed bitterly, “Why were you so angry at the thought of something happening between Niylah and I?” she stepped even closer.

“I don’t know.”

“Why did you refuse to hear me out when I told you  _ time and time again  _ that  _ nothing _ was going on between Niylah and I?”

“I don’t know.”

“And why-”

“I don’t know! Okay?” Lexa raised the volume of her voice, frustrated, “I don't know.” she repeated more quietly.

“That’s not the kind of answer I’m looking for.” Clarke whispered.

“I don’t think I can give you the answer that you want.”

“I don't  _ want  _ one specific answer. I just want you to trust me enough to not push me away whenever things get too real for you.”

Lexa heard the sadness which accompanied those words and she closed her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Not trusting me or being a jerk earlier?”

“Both.”

“I can forgive one. The other, I don’t think we can be friends with it.” Clarke told her, her voice growing gentle.

“I’m not...it’s not easy for me to trust people.” Lexa said, quietly.

“Yeah, I know.” Clarke said, smiling tentatively, “But do you think it’s all easy for me?”

Lexa blinked once, then twice, “I didn’t…”

“You didn’t think about that, did you?” Clarke asked, sighing, “I also have doubts, you know. I’m just better at hiding them, I guess.”

“I’m a dumbass.” Lexa said, looking down at her feet.

“Yes, you are.” Clarke said, “And I feel like we’ve had this conversation a thousand times but it never results in anything.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“And you are  _ so  _ infuriating.”

Lexa's eyes jumped up and she bit her bottom lip, “I’m sorry.” she repeated sincerely.

“And I freaking hate you.” 

“I hate me too, don’t worry.”

Clarke's eyes softened, “No, Lexa. This is not what I meant.”

“It’s okay, Clarke.”

Clarke rubbed her hands over her face, “I hate you-”

“I heard you the first time, Clarke. I deserve it but there's really no need to rub it in.”

“Let me finish, Lexa.” Clarke said, somewhat authoritatively, “I hate you because I can’t seem to hate you no matter how much you’ve disappointed me.”

“That’s contradictory.”

“Is that really all you got from this? Of course it is, you’re Lexa Woods.” Clarke said, smiling.

“What?”

“You always focus on the things that aren’t important at the moment like grammar or-”

“You're an English teacher.” Lexa reminded with a small teasing smile.

Clarke stopped speaking and a smile escaped, “I fucking hate you.” she laughed.

“Yeah, we’ve established that.” 

The mood switched to a more light-hearted one. Finally, Lexa felt like she could breathe a little. Now that they were just staring at each other in silence, she noticed how close Clarke was standing and blushed.

“You didn’t have to be so rude earlier.”

“I know.” Lexa said, bowing her head in shame, “And I’m sorry. I should have apologized instantly and not wait until now. Even tonight, you had to force an apology out of me because I’m too much of a coward to actually-”

Clarke grabbed her hand, “Hey, no.” she shook her head, “You apologized, that’s all that matters to me, really.”

“So if I had apologized two years from now, you would have been okay with it?”

“Don’t push your luck, Woods.”

Lexa smiled, “I tried.” she started unconsciously drawing circles with her thumb on the back of Clarke's hand. If she didn’t notice she was doing it, Clarke most definitely did.

“We should head back inside.” Clarke said, “It’s cold out here.”

Lexa took off her jacket and wrapped it around Clarke's shoulders,  _ “Should have done that earlier.”  _ she whispered, mostly to herself.

They started walking back to the building when Clarke stopped in her tracks, “Will you ignore me again on Monday?”

Lexa shook her head, “I won’t.” 

“How can I even believe that?” Clarke asked, holding Lexa's jacket so that it stayed over her shoulders.

“Trust me?”

“You’re asking me to do what you can’t seem to do?”

Lexa's eyes drifted to the ground, “What I’m trying to do.” she corrected, “As hard as I can.”

It was silent for a few seconds.

“Okay.” Clarke whispered, “Please, do not prove to me that I was wrong in giving you another chance.”

Lexa nodded, fully aware that she couldn’t fuck this up again or she would lose Clarke forever.

They're right when they say that losing something makes you realize its true value because although their fight lasted less than a day, she had now fully realized how valuable Clarke's friendship was to her.

 

\-----------

 

“So you managed to make things right. Congrats, champion.” Anya said when they were back in Lexa's apartment that night.

“I didn’t do anything.” Lexa shrugged, “She was very comprehensive.” she said, realizing how lucky she was.

“You don’t deserve her.” Anya said, yawning and dropping on the left side of Lexa's bed.

“I know.” Lexa whispered before slipping under the covers, giving into her exhaustion.

 

**Saturday, the 25th of February**

 

Anya and Lexa were having dinner together. The older woman had spent all day at Lexa's apartment, claiming it was cozier than her own.

The brunette's phone chimed with a new message. It was from Clarke. The blonde had sent some meme she had found on Twitter. Lexa smiled but didn’t respond immediately, telling herself she'd reply after dinner.

“Is that Clarke?” Anya asked, eyes locked on Lexa's phone screen.

Lexa hid the screen against her chest, “It’s impolite to look at other people's phone conversations.” she accused.

“We're best friends.”

“Still.”

Anya raised her arms in the air defensively.

“Why won't you answer?” she asked after a few seconds of silence.

“None of your business.”

“You’re being an asshole again.”

Lexa sighed. She put her phone inside her pocket and rose from the couch, grabbing her take out plate to throw it in the trash can on her way, “I’m headed to bed. I’m tired.”

“It’s barely eight in the evening.”

“And I am  _ tired _ .” Lexa emphasized, her eyes hard and a scowl on her face.

“You’re not. And Clarke-”

“You know what? I’m so fucking done with your bullshit, Anya. You just won’t leave me alone no matter how many times I’ve asked you to. Why are you so obsessed with Clarke? Maybe  _ you _ should date her seeing how much you seem to love her.”

Anya's lips opened but no sound escaped.   She stared back at Lexa in mild shock, “Lex…”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Lexa said, “You’re supposed to be my  _ best friend _ but lately you never listen to me when I say that I don’t want to talk about my love life.” Lexa's voice gained in volume.

“But you-”

“Have you ever stopped to think about  _ why  _ I don’t want to talk about it? Huh?”

Anya frowned, “Because-”

“I don’t want to talk about it because I don’t want to admit that yes, I do enjoy Clarke's company and no, I will not do anything about it. Not now, not ever.”

“Why?”

Lexa scoffed, “Why?” she repeated, incredulous, “You know why.”

Anya watched with utter confusion as her colleague and long-time friend started pacing across the room in a frenzied rhythm.

“Lex?”

“You were right.” Lexa said, tone panicked and somewhat confused, disbelieving even. The anger in her tone was gradually disappearing, replaced by fear.

“About?”

“Clarke.”

Anya raised an eyebrow, a silent probing for more information, a wordless encouragement to resume speaking.

“I like her.” Lexa said, breath coming in short, “I like her a lot.” 

Anya refrained from saying  _ I told you so _ . Seeing the state of her friend, she understood it was neither the place nor the time for it. Besides, Lexa was angry enough as it was.

“Why is that such a bad thing?” she asked, “I mean, what's the worst that could happen?”

“She could like me back!” Lexa said, hands flying in the air in frustration.

Anya's face contorted to one of complete confusion, “And in what exactly is this an issue?” 

Lexa huffed, “I knew you wouldn’t understand.” she brushed it off, “Just forget I ever told you anything.”

Anya caught her wrist, “Lex.” she said sternly, “I won't let you make the same mistake over and over again. You might hate me for it but I would hate myself if I didn't tell you this.”

Lexa crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow.

“You can't keep pushing everyone away.”

“Yes, I can.” Lexa argued, “Whatever it is that I’m feeling, it’ll go away soon enough.”

“It won't.” Anya said with a sigh, “Listen, Clarke is a good person and she-”

Lexa scoffed, “I know she's a good person. It doesn’t change anything. I’m not going to date her and I shouldn’t have told you.”

“When has this become like this?” Anya asked.

“What?”

“When have you started keeping things for yourself? You used to be more open about your feelings…”

“Maybe when I came home early with a bouquet of Costia’s favorite flowers for our three years of relationship and I found her in bed, with my colleague’s face between her thighs. In  _ our _ bed. Screaming  _ her  _ name. Maybe that’s when.” Lexa bitterly answered, her bottom lip quivering as she spoke.

Anya stepped closer and in one swift movement, her arms were around Lexa's lithe frame, holding her body close to herself.

“I’m sorry.” Anya whispered into brown curls. 

She had been told that Costia had cheated but she ignored the details of  _ how _ exactly Lexa had found out. Whenever she asked Lexa, all she got in return was a simple ‘ _ She cheated. That’s all there is to know.’ _

“I was the one to introduce them.” Lexa cried into Anya's shoulder, “How was I so stupid?”

Anya gently hushed her and passed a hand through her best friend's hair, “You couldn’t have predicted that. It’s not your fault if Costia couldn’t respect you and your relationship.”

“But if I hadn’t introduced them-”

“She would have cheated with someone else.” Anya interrupted her, “It’s hard to admit but cheaters don’t usually redeem themselves. If anything, they just do it over and over again. If it wasn’t with your colleague, she would've cheated with someone else.”

“Because I was not good enough.” Lexa's shoulders sagged and a shaky breath pushed past her lips.

Anya's arms tightened around her, “No.” she firmly said, “Don’t ever say that. How could you even think that?”

Lexa shrugged and let her head fall on Anya's shoulder. The silence stretched but it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was an easy silence, comforting even.

“If you want me to leave, I would understand.”

Lexa shook her head, “That won’t be necessary. I’m good.”

“It’s okay to admit it when you’re not okay, you know? You don’t have to be tough all the time. No one would hold it against you if you took some time off.”

“I’m good.” Lexa reiterated, “But thank you.” she added quietly, not used to having heart-to-heart conversations with her best friend. They were more the  _ tough love  _ kind of friends.

She wiped at her tears and quickly went into the bathroom to cover any remaining trace of her small breakdown before stepping out and joining Anya in the living room.

Anya sat down on the couch and opened her arms. Lexa hesitated only briefly before sitting close to her friend and letting herself fall into her arms. They never did that and it felt weird yet oddly comforting.

“Costia was a bitch.” Anya said after a few minutes of silence, “You can’t keep blaming yourself for her actions.”

Lexa stayed silent. She had wanted to believe Anya when she had told her that she was enough and that she was not unloveable. Truth was, she couldn’t get herself to believe those words. It was easier for her to stay away from romantic feelings than to face the harsh truth that she was torturously scared of being in a relationship again.

Her phone buzzed on the couch and she sighed, deciding to ignore it. Anya lifted an eyebrow, “Your butt is vibrating.” she commented.

Lexa smiled and reached behind her for her phone. She saw that it was a call from Clarke. Her finger hovered over the screen.

“Are you going to pick it up?”

Lexa nodded. She was determined not to make the same mistakes again, “Hey.”

_ “You answered. I was afraid you wouldn't.” _

“I promised I would make some efforts. I meant it, Clarke.”

_ “Is it a new resolution of yours to call me by my first name too? Because I like it.” _

Lexa smiled, “Griffin was starting to become too formal considering our...you know.”

_ “I like the way you say my name.”  _ Clarke admitted,  _ “It sounds more beautiful when you say it.”  _

“It’s a beautiful name.” Lexa commented.

_ “I don’t see it.”  _ Clarke said and the smile could be heard in her voice,  _ “Anyway, I was calling to ask if you wanted to hang out tomorrow.” _

“It’s Sunday tomorrow.”

_ “I am aware.” _

“Most shops will be closed.”

_ “I was thinking we could just go for a walk or something.” _

Lexa smiled, “In the middle of winter?”

_ “Why not? Afraid you might get sick, Woods?” _

Lexa moved onto the couch to be more comfortable, “No. I’m afraid you might, though. You’re the one whose health is fragile.”

_ “So...is that a yes?” _

“It’s a yes.”

_ “Great! I’ll come by at around two in the afternoon.” _

“Perfect.” Lexa's lips curled upwards, “I’ll see you then.”

_ “Yeah, see you.” _

The line went dead.

“You’re back to being friends then?” Anya asked, rolling onto her stomach, supporting her head with her hands.

“I think so.” Lexa said, “I messed up, Anya. I don't even know why she forgave me.”

“Don’t torture yourself over it.” Anya said, “She forgave you for whatever you did. It’s all that matters. But you need to stop fucking shit up cause her patience will run low.”

“I know.”

 

**Sunday, the 26th of February**

 

They had been walking for over five minutes now, at a pace which was just rapid enough to reach the park rather quickly. They had spent that time mostly in silence, their arms brushing as they walked.

“I’m surprised you accepted my invitation, if I’m being entirely honest.” Clarke said.

“Why?”

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “Are you really asking me this right now?” her lips curled into the ghost of a smile.

“Right.” Lexa said, stuffing her hands into her pockets, “I like this.” she then said, nodding ahead, “Just walking is nice sometimes.”

Clarke smiled, “Yeah?”

Lexa nodded, “Yeah.” 

She blushed when she felt Clarke's arm wrap around her own, “I’m cold.” that was the excuse Clarke gave as she leaned against Lexa's body, slowing down their pace, not that either of them cared.

“You forgot to bring a beanie.” Lexa pointed out, catching sight of Clarke's reddened ears.

“I don’t own one. I keep telling myself that I need to buy a new one since I lost the other, but it always slips my mind.”

Lexa hummed, “I have a spare one somewhere in my apartment. I could try and find it if you want? So that you don’t have to buy a new one.”

Clarke smiled, “That would be very nice of you.” she looked up at her colleague, “Thank you.”

Lexa's cheeks turned red and she looked away, distractedly observing a child running across the grass, followed by what she assumed to be his mother and his older brother, their yells and laughter echoing through the park.

“Do you wanna have kids later?” Clarke suddenly asked.

Lexa blinked, “Why are you asking me this?”

Clarke shrugged, “I’m just curious.”

Lexa led them towards a bench and sat down on it, “To answer your question, yes. I want to have children but not now.”

“And would you adopt them or…?”

“I don’t know yet.” Lexa quietly said, “It depends on the person I'll be with and what they want to do. I would be fine with adopting if an insemination is out of the question for her.”

“Same.” Clarke said with a small smile, “I would want to be pregnant, though. At least once. I want to know what it’s like.”

Lexa nodded, “Whilst I don't share the sentiment, I can understand that.” she clasped her hands together.

“Have you ever thought about the future? About what your life will be like in a few years, or in a few decades?”

“All the time.” Lexa sighed, “I try not to, however. It doesn’t do any good to either dwell on the past or to fear the future.”

“Easier said than done.” Clarke smiled, “If you could erase something from your past, what would it be?”

Lexa swallowed heavily, “My last relationship.” she replied honestly, “I would erase that.”

Clarke dropped a hand on Lexa's and gave it a squeeze, “Why?”

Lexa frowned, “Not really something I want to recount, sorry.” she apologized, looking away, eyes falling on their joined hands.

“I understand.”

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“What would you change?”

Clarke thought for a few seconds, “I would...I think I would erase my first year of college.”

Lexa didn’t probe for more information. She merely waited in silence for Clarke to resume speaking, should the woman want to add to the topic.

“Those haven’t been my most glorious days.” Clarke whispered, “I was out nearly every night, partying instead of studying. Then exams came and the results weren’t there. I would come home drunk at least four times a week and wouldn’t study.”

Lexa's eyes rose to meet Clarke's and the blonde was momentarily lost in the forest of green staring back at her, giving her their undivided attention.

“I failed my first year because of that. And I had health issues due to an excess of alcohol. I drank too much with little to no worries about the consequences it had on my body. Raven tried to stop me and get me help but I just wouldn't listen.”

Lexa kept silent but her eyes never once left Clarke's face.

“Then one day, I was rushed to the hospital after one horrible night.” she confessed, “Alcohol poisoning. I almost died. That’s what the doctors told me when I woke up.”

Lexa's hand turned and squeezed Clarke's, their fingers intertwining naturally, as if out of instinct, “What...what did your parents say?”

Clarke shook her head, “I could never get over the look in my father's eyes when I woke up. He looked so...scared. But what really killed me was the disappointment in his eyes. That’s when I understood how badly I had messed up. That was my wake up call.”

Lexa nodded, not knowing what to say.

“I don’t even know what made me drink so much. Peer pressure, maybe. There was always so much expected from me, you know? I was  _ party girl Griffin.” _ she scoffed, “Anyway, that time is gone now. I’ve been better for years. So yeah, I would erase that. I’m not proud of who I was back then. I’m trying to be better, to set the right example.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

Clarke shrugged, “I trust you.” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I admire your strength.” Lexa said, raising her gaze to look at Clarke briefly before casting her eyes down.

“My strength? I was just a stupid kid who thought she could spiral out of control simply because  _ college is supposed to be all about partying”  _ she did air quotes.

“But you bounced back from it. That’s admirable.” Lexa pointed out, “Some people never recover from that kind of thing.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Clarke looked down, “Remembering and talking about it isn't easy.” she thought out loud, “I don’t ever want to go back to that.”

“You won’t.” Lexa declared, “You’re not the fragile and easily influenced teenage girl you used to be.”

Clarke smiled. She let go of Lexa's hand and nodded to herself, “It was nice to tell you something like this.” she admitted, “I want you to see me for who I really am. I don’t want to pretend with you.”

Those words struck Lexa. Why was she pretending when Clarke very clearly wasn’t? 

“My last relationship ended badly.” Lexa started speaking after a short moment of silence. Clarke's head snapped up.

“You don’t have to tell me just because I revealed something about myself.” Clarke hurried to say.

“I want to.” Lexa assured her, “I want you to know. This is my way of showing you that I trust you.”

Clarke's breath hitched, “Okay.” she quietly said, hanging onto Lexa's lips, attentive to each and every word leaving them.

“Her name was Costia. We had been together for three years. She was...perfect. Or at least it seemed like it. I thought she was the one, you know?”

Clarke wished she could say she knew what that felt like but truth was, she had never been with anyone who made her feel that way. 

“It was our three year anniversary. I wanted to do something big. I thought she deserved it.” her face hardened, “So I came home early. With her favorite flowers.” she scoffed, “I was so damn excited that I didn’t even notice the additional shoes in the hallway. I just climbed the stairs, smiling like a damn fool.”

 

_ \---Eleven months ago--- _

 

_ “Babe?” Lexa called out, walking through the apartment, sporting a wide smile on her face.  _

_ No reply. _

_ “Babe?” _

_ She frowned. Costia was supposed to be home at this hour. At least, that’s what she had told her. She heard some noise coming from the bedroom and her smile widened. She all but ran towards the bedroom door, ears buzzing with excitement and a wide grin firmly plastered on her face. She tightened her hold on the flower bouquet and pushed the door of the bedroom open. _

_ Her smile disappeared.  _

_ The flowers fell to the ground the instant Lexa's hand released its grip on the door handle. Her breathing quickened and disbelief was written across her face as she stared at her girlfriend of three years, head thrown back whilst her colleague’s face was buried between her legs. _

_ “Fuck, Sarah!” Costia screamed before looking to her left and seeing the open door, and Lexa, standing in the threshold, a crestfallen look on her face, “Shit, Lexa.” she hurried to cover herself with the covers but it was too late. _

_ Lexa's ears were ringing. Her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head, “No…” she whispered to herself, “No, no, no.” she repeated over and over again. _

_ “Lexa, babe. I can expl-” _

_ “Get out.” Lexa gritted her teeth, looking straight at her colleague. _

_ “But-” _

_ “Get the fuck out of my apartment.” _

_ Her colleague gathered her clothes quickly, then moved past Lexa to leave the apartment. _

_ Lexa's tears started rolling down her cheeks but she wiped them hastily, not wanting to show any form of weakness in front of the woman she loved and whom she thought loved her back. _

_ “You too.” she said, looking straight into her now ex-girlfriend’s panicked eyes, “We’re done.” _

_ “Lex, we can talk this through? I didn't mean for this to happ-” _

_ “Save me that bullshit, Costia!” Lexa shouted, tears falling freely and her voice breaking, “You knew exactly what you were doing!” she accused, “Get out. I don't want to see you ever again.” _

_ “Please, Lex. Let me explain.  _

_ “What is there to explain? You cheated on me with my colleague. On our fucking anniversary! On  _ _ my _ _ bed! Get the fuck out!” _

_ Costia nodded and silently put on her clothes, not daring to look into Lexa's heartbroken and furious eyes, “I’m sorry.” _

_ “You can shove your apology up your ass. You’re only sorry you got caught.” Lexa spat, “I’ve been nothing but caring to you and this is what I get in return? Go to hell, Costia.” _

_ Only when Costia was out of the apartment did she allow herself to breakdown. She slid against the wall and cried for hours on end, broken sobs wrecking through her body.  _

 

_ \---Present time--- _

 

“I’m sorry.” Clarke whispered, “No one deserves that. 

Lexa rummaged through her bag, retrieved a small box and placed it in Clarke's lap, “Open it.” she said quietly.

Clarke lifted the lid and it revealed a beautiful diamond ring. It was small, yet beautiful, “Lexa?”

“I was planning on proposing to her the night I found her in bed with my colleague. I had everything planned out. We were supposed to go out for dinner in the restaurant where we had our first date, then I would take her to the beach and I would propose right there.” 

Clarke's eyes were now watery, “I’m so sorry.” she repeated, “She didn’t deserve you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s in the past.” Lexa shrugged, getting up from the bench, “I never found the strength to get rid of the ring.” she took it back and placed it inside her bag, “At least now you know why I’m so closed off. You deserved to know.”

Clarke rose from the bench and engulfed Lexa in a hug, “Thank you for trusting me with this.” she whispered into Lexa's ear, “And your ex is an asshole if she couldn't properly appreciate and respect what she had with you.”

Lexa nodded, her face finding refuge in the crook of Clarke's neck, “Thank you.” she murmured, wrapping her own arms around Clarke's waist.

They both pulled away from the hug slowly. Snow had started falling down somewhere in between their talk and Clarke's hair was filled with snowflakes.  _ She looked beautiful. _ That was the only thing Lexa could think about at the moment. 

Lexa's eyes flicked down to the woman's parted lips momentarily and her mind went blank. She leaned in and could swear she saw Clarke do the same but before anything could happen, the barking of a dog in the distance made them jump apart.

“Fuck.” Clarke said, clutching at her chest.

Lexa was left wondering whether she had imagined Clarke leaning in. She cleared her throat and buried her hands in the pockets of her coat, “It’s getting cold.” she said in a controlled voice, a sheer contrast to how she felt on the inside.

Clarke nodded, “Yeah.” she agreed, tugging on the sleeve of her jacket. Her cheeks were flushed. Lexa blamed it on the cold. It was easier than to analyze the real reason behind it and the implications of it.

The walk back towards Clarke's house was silent. It was a heavy silence. Lots of things were whirling through both their heads but none were actually spoken into existence. They avoided each other's eyes, scared of what they might find. 

“So, this is me.” Clarke broke through the silence, standing awkwardly in front of her apartment building, “Thank you for today.” she all but murmured.

Lexa nodded, “I trust you will not reveal any of what transpired between us to any of our colleagues and friends.”

“I think you know very well that I won’t.”

Lexa nodded, “I should go back home.”

She didn’t catch the disappointment in blue eyes for she was too busy staring down at her own shoes, “Yeah…” Clarke said, “I’ll see you at work?”

“Always.” Lexa nodded. She chanced a short glance up and found herself momentarily lost in a sea of blue. She shook herself out of it, “Bye, Clarke.” she quickly turned on her heels and hurried down the street towards her own home.

Clarke watched her leave before stepping inside her apartment building. Her eyes were filled with a newfound appreciation and admiration for her colleague. 

Something had definitely shifted between them and she had no idea if she should feel happy or scared about it.

 

 

  
  



	11. "I can't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has been written a long time ago and I am very excited to finally post it on here. I have loved writing it and I think it truly furthers the plot and the bond between our two favorite girls. I hope you'll like it as much as I do :)

 

 

**Wednesday, the 1st of March**

 

Lexa woke up when she heard loud and unrelenting banging at her door, followed by what sounded like Clarke's voice but she couldn’t be entirely sure in her sleepy state. It was three in the morning. _Who would knock at this hour?_

She swung her legs off the bed rapidly and gripped her own head when she got whiplash. The knocking never stopped. She moved towards the door, then reached for the doorknob. When she pulled the door open, she quickly dodged Clarke's fist, avoiding getting hit but not by much. She didn’t have time to dwell on that. When her eyes connected with Clarke's, the first thing she noticed were the tears in them and how tired they looked.

“Clarke?” her worry grew when she noticed how unfocused Clarke's eyes seemed. 

The blonde's knees suddenly gave out and she collapsed. Lexa barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground and she held her close as the woman's body shook with her sobs. A wave of panic flew over Lexa. She kept Clarke close to her and racked her mind in search of the reason behind her colleague's current state. Coming up empty, she figured asking directly would be a more efficient way to get the information.

“Clarke, what happened?” she didn’t remember ever hearing herself speak in such a soft tone.

In between her sobs, Clarke managed to croak out a few words, “M-my dad...h-he, in an- in an accident and-”

Lexa pulled her further inside the apartment, closing the door behind them and leading her to the couch, “What happened to him?” she asked slowly, fearing the worst.

“The-the car, and-” her breathing picked up and Lexa quickly cradled her in her arms.

“Easy, take deep breaths, alright? You’re okay, I’m here.” she said softly in her ear, trying to avoid a potential panic attack.

“He-he’s in the hospital and-” Clarke's words were once again cut off by her cries, “They don’t know if he’s gonna make it.” she finally managed to say.

“Which hospital?” Lexa asked. Clarke didn't answer, save for a frantic shake of her head, “Where, Clarke?”

Clarke cried harder, “It’s useless!” she shouted, “It’s in Minnesota and there are no planes until Friday because of some stupid fog! My father might die and I can’t even get there.”

Clarke's fists closed on Lexa's shirt and she gripped it tightly, folding the fabric. Lexa's mind was working fast, “Yes, you can.”

“Lexa, this really isn’t the time for your jokes, I don’t know if you realize but-”

“Clarke, I’m not-” she tightened her arms around the blonde, creating a protection around the woman, “If we take my car, we can get there in a little over a day. We could get there by Thursday afternoon if we don’t take too many breaks while driving.” 

Clarke's face, which was buried in Lexa's neck, snapped up, “Y-you would do this for me?” she asked, tears rolling down her eyes.

Lexa's own eyes filled with tears upon seeing the devastation on her colleague’s face, “Of course I would.” each look into Clarke's eyes was a direct stab to her own heart but she pushed it aside, “Let’s go.”

“I can drive myself there.” Clarke suddenly said, “You don’t need to bother with this.”

“In this state? Are you crazy? I’m not leaving you alone right now, got it?” Lexa said, looking deeply into blue eyes.

Clarke nodded and followed after Lexa when the woman grabbed her keys. Lexa changed into some jeans and a sweatshirt, then quickly led them down the stairs and to her car, thankfully parked right outside the building.

Before entering the vehicle, Lexa turned around and cupped Clarke's cheeks, “Clarke, I need you to have faith in your father and in his ability to fight for his life, alright? I’ll do everything I can so that you can see him one last time if anything bad happens.”

Clarke's bottom lip was quivering and she nodded but her tears didn’t stop, “What- what if he doesn't make it?” her voice cracked.

“We can’t know that but it won’t do you any good to think of worst case scenarios. And whatever happens, I’ll always be here for you, alright?”

Clarke surged forward and hugged Lexa. The brunette almost lost her balance due to the force of the impact but managed to stay upright and hug Clarke back.

The tears in her eyes leaked out of them when she felt the way Clarke was trembling in her arms, “It’ll be okay.” she whispered even though she couldn’t possibly know that, “I’ve got you.” 

They hurried inside the car and Lexa made sure Clarke was safely seated, seatbelt on, before starting the vehicle. She drove fast but not above the speed limit, knowing it would not do them any good to be stopped by the cops.

Lexa reached across the console and grabbed Clarke's hand. Her thumb traced patterns on the back of it while she drove with her other hand, “You should get some sleep.” she whispered, “It will be long.”

Clarke shook her head, “I don't think I can.” she whispered, looking around frantically.

Lexa tightened her hold on her hand to grab her attention, “That’s because you don't give yourself the chance to.” she said, “You need to get some rest, Clarke.”

“I love the way you say my name.” Clarke quietly said, “I just wish it wasn’t under these circumstances that I would hear it again.”

Lexa heard the hitch in Clarke's breathing. She furtively glanced to her right, eyes filled with worry, “I can use it again at another time if that can make you happy.”

“Since when do you do things to make me happy?” Clarke asked quietly.

“I care about you, Clarke. As a colleague but also as a friend. It might be hard to believe but it’s true.” Lexa confessed, her self-built protection having shattered the second she saw Clarke's tear-filled eyes.

She could feel Clarke's eyes on her, burning holes in the side of her head, “You’re-” she couldn’t finish her sentence because her throat tightened with the threat of tears, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Lexa quietly said.

It took some time but eventually Clarke gave into her exhaustion, falling asleep against the window of the car door. Lexa slowly released her hold on Clarke's hand and gripped the steering wheel with both hands, pressing a bit harder on the accelerator.

She was going to take Clarke to her father, no matter what.

 

\-------------

 

Clarke started moving around on her seat, face screwed up. Suddenly, she jerked awake, gasping for air. Her hands clutched at the glove compartment.

“Clarke?” Lexa thanked the heavens they weren’t on the highway at the moment, then pulled over, turning off the engine, “Are you okay?”

“I had a nightmare.” Clarke said, tears rolling down her cheeks, “It was about my dad.” she rushed out, “I can’t-”

“Shh..” Lexa placed a hand over Clarke's, “Things are fine. It was just a nightmare.”

Clarke shook her head, “Still no news?” she asked, panic in her eyes.

Lexa shook her head, “No news is good news in this case. If you want, we can give a call to the hospital and gather some information.”

Clarke nodded quickly, “Please.”

Lexa fished out her phone, “Who was the person who called you to inform you of the accident?”

Clarke shut her eyes, “It was- it was my mom. She works at the hospital. I don’t-” she inhaled shakily, then gave her mother's number to Lexa who immediately dialed it.

It was picked up rather quickly.

 _“Yes?”_ a quiet voice on the other side of the line said.

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Lexa Woods. I’m your daughter's colleague and she's with me at the moment.”

_“Clarke is there?”_

“Yes.”

_“Could you- could you give her the phone, please? I’ve been trying to reach her but she won’t reply.”_

Clarke realized then that she had dropped her phone upon hearing the news and had left it on the floor of her apartment.

“Mom?” Clarke said, her voice cracking on the one-syllable word, “How-how is he?” she dared to ask, afraid of the reply she might get.

 _“They don’t know, sweetheart.”_ her mother said, nerves clear in her voice, _“He’s still in surgery, they're doing everything they can and-”_

“What if that’s not enough? You should be the one in there! Not them!” Clarke started growing agitated and Lexa placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

_“You know it’s against protocol, sweetheart. I can’t do anything to help them, no matter how much I wish I could.”_

Clarke's tears increased and she clutched the phone tightly in her hand, “It’s not fair.” she cried into the phone, “Why him?”

 _“I don't know, Clarke.”_ her mother whispered, _“I don’t know.”_ she repeated, her voice thick with emotion.

A sob pushed past Clarke's lips and Lexa wrapped her right arm around her shoulder. Instantly, Clarke leaned into the contact, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder, “It’s not fair.” the blonde repeated.

_“Life isn’t fair but your father, he’s a tough one, that’s for sure. And I have faith he’ll survive this. He’s too stubborn to die.”_

Clarke let out a watery chuckle, “I’m on my way right now. Just- make sure he doesn’t…” she couldn’t bring herself to say it, “Not before I’m there, please.”

Her mother sighed, _“It’s up to your father now.”_ she quietly said, _“He’ll pull through, okay? And then you can speak to him in person, okay?”_

Clarke nodded, fresh tears forming in her eyes to replace the ones already rolling down her cheeks, “Okay.”

Lexa started the car back while Clarke finished speaking to her mother. Soon they were on the highway.

 

\---------------

 

The call came three hours later.

Clarke cried with relief when she was told that her father was stable and in recovery at the moment. Lexa took the woman in her arms, holding her as she let out hours of fear and tremendous anxiety.

Lexa's chest also finally felt free of its prior tightness again. She felt she could breathe again. 

Clarke's father was fine. 

 

\---------------

 

Clarke frowned when Lexa stopped after fifteen hours of driving, “Why are we stopping?”

Lexa looked at her apologetically, “I need to get some sleep. Just a few hours will be enough. I just don’t want to stupidly put us in danger.”

Clarke frowned, “I could drive in the meantime.” she suggested.

Lexa hesitated, “I don’t think it would be very wise in your state to drive.” she cautiously said.

“But-”

Lexa grabbed her hand, “It won’t be long. We’ll still get to your father by tomorrow. And you could get some sleep too. You need it even more than I do.” she said, rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

“Okay.”

Lexa unbuckled her seatbelt and rounded the car. She reached for the door of the back seats and pulled it open.

“There is only space for one person to lie down here. You can take it.” she motioned at the three seats in the back.

“There is place for one person and a half.” Clarke said, looking down at the seats with a pensive look.

Lexa shook her head, “Okay, and where would you find a half human?”

Clarke clicked her tongue, “What I meant was that you could...lie down...with me?” her voice lost in volume the longer she spoke.

“In a space that is big enough for a person and a half, your words.”

Clarke sighed, “No, I meant-” she stopped speaking and grabbed Lexa by the shoulders, “Lie down.” she demanded.

“Okay…” Lexa obliged.

Clarke entered the vehicle, closed the car door, then climbed on top of Lexa, lying down on her, “See, we made it work.” she whispered, her head resting on Lexa's chest, “It wouldn't be the first time anyway.”

Lexa blushed and wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist, “Nothing of this will ever be spoken of with other people, are we clear?”

Clarke nodded and closed her eyes, “Sure, grumpy cat.” she mumbled tiredly. Before falling asleep, she lifted her head and pressed her lips against Lexa's cheek, “Thank you for everything you’re doing for me.” she whispered.

“Y-you’re welcome.” Lexa stammered out, the color of her cheeks leaning towards pink.

Clarke was so close that Lexa could smell the remnants of her perfume and feel every part of the blonde's body pressed against herself.

Her fingers dug into Clarke's hips and she had to remind herself that Clarke and her didn’t have this kind of friendship, that it was only due to the circumstances and that they would go back to normal soon enough.

She tried to not feel disappointed at that thought.

She failed.

 

**Thursday, the 2nd of March**

 

Clarke jolted awake, pulling Lexa away from her dreams in the process. The blonde sat up and pressed her back against the car window, holding her chest tightly.

“Clarke?” Lexa blinked a few times, “Clarke?” she repeated when she got no answer.

“My dad…” Clarke whispered, “I need to get to my dad now, Lexa.” she started growing agitated.

Lexa pushed herself up, “Hey, calm down, okay? Your dad is fine.” she whispered, “The hospital called, remember?”

Clarke's eyes were wide and she frowned, “He’s okay?”

“Yes.” Lexa slowly nodded, “They said the surgery had gone well and he was in recovery. Do you remember now?”

Clarke took some time to breathe slowly and take in her surroundings, then she nodded, “Yeah, yeah I remember.”

Lexa looked down at her watch. They had been sleeping for five hours, “We can get back on the road now.” she said quietly, resting her hand on top of Clarke's, “Do you want to stay in the backseat or would you rather come in the front with me?”

Clarke thought for a second, “With you.” 

Lexa nodded, “Okay, just hang on a second. I have to pee real quick and then we’re good to go.”

Clarke gave her a nod, “Me too.” she said, opening the car door, “How many hours until we get there?” she asked. Her impatience was rather obvious but it was justified.

“I’d say twelve hours. Maybe a bit more.”

 

\-------------

 

They arrived at the hospital in the late afternoon, on Thursday. Clarke climbed out of the car rapidly and almost ran to the hospital entrance.

“Clarke, relax.” Lexa caught her arm, “I called the hospital when you were sleeping. Your father isn’t awake at the moment. We’ll have to wait by his bedside. Your mother is waiting for us on the second floor.”

“I need to see him.” Clarke breathed out, eyes filled with tears, “I just need to see him.”

Lexa nodded, “Okay. Follow me.” she grabbed Clarke's hand and together they rushed through the hospital hallways, running up the two flights of stairs.

“Clarke!” Abby shouted when she saw her daughter appear from the staircase.

Clarke ran into the arms of her mother, “Mom!” she said, holding tight, “How is he?” she asked, crying against her mother's shoulder.

“He’s fine.” Abby said with a smile, “Don’t worry. I told you he was too stubborn to die.”

Clarke let out a watery chuckle, “I’m so sorry I couldn't be there sooner.” she apologized, never loosening her grip on her mother.

Lexa stayed a few feet behind, not wanting to interrupt them and afraid her presence would be a bother. She clasped her hands together and looked anywhere but at the pair of women hugging a bit further down the hall.

She lifted her gaze when she saw that Abby was walking towards her, “You must be Lexa Woods.” the woman outstretched her hand, “I’m Abigail Griffin.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Lexa shook the woman's hand.

“I think I owe you a thank you.” Abby said, her other hand holding her daughter’s, “For taking care of my daughter.”

“Oh, it wasn’t much.” Lexa said, blushing, “I’m sure anyone would have done the same thing.”

“You know, I don’t think so.” Abby argued, “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Lexa said, feeling like an intruder, “I should give you some time alone. I’ll be outside.” she said, looking into the blue eyes she had come to like so much.

Clarke wanted to argue but knew Lexa wouldn’t feel comfortable staying. She nodded but before letting Lexa out of her sight, she surged forward and hugged the older woman, “Thank you so much.” she mumbled against Lexa's shoulder.

“Anytime.” Lexa whispered before releasing Clarke and walking down the hall, towards the cafeteria.

“She seems like an amazing woman.” Abby noted.

Clarke stared at the figure of her colleague, “She is.” she confirmed before turning towards her mother, asking to go see her father.

 

\------------

 

Clarke wasn’t prepared for what she saw when she entered the room. Her father was lying down on a hospital bed, several tubes connected to his body and cuts and bruises all over his face and arms. She could only imagine the injuries that were kept hidden by the hospital gown.

A sob pushed past her lips and her mother held her upright. Clarke probably would have fallen to her knees otherwise, “He…” she couldn't even finish her sentence.

She ran towards the side of the bed and placed her hands on her father's forearm. She leaned her forehead against it.

“I need you to be okay, you hear me?” she said, eyes closed and tears escaping them, “You’re not allowed to leave me. Not now.”

Abby crouched down next to Clarke and placed a hand on her back, “You should grab something to eat. He’ll still be there when you come back.”

“I can’t leave him.” Clarke said, shaking her head rapidly.

“I know, sweetheart, but you need to eat something.”

Suddenly, Lexa appeared in the threshold, “I brought you some food. I figured you might be hungry and- well, yeah. So, uh, here it is.” she shyly handed a sandwich to Clarke and then one to Abby, “I didn’t know if you would want one too so I took one just in case. Of course it’s hospital food so it’s not the best but- Not that hospital food is disgusting, I would never insult your place of work like that but it's like our coffee at school, it’s not the best but we deal with it, you know.” she scratched the back of her neck.

Clarke watched with tear-filled eyes as Lexa started rambling. She looked down at the sandwich in her hands, then up at the rambling woman and felt a rush of affection for the brunette flow over her.

“Thank you, Lex.”

Lexa smiled bashfully before quietly walking out of the room.

“I maintain what I said earlier. This woman is amazing.” Abby stated, “How come we're only meeting her now?”

“Mom, we’re not- we’re just friends.”

Abby raised an eyebrow, “Really?”

Clarke blushed and looked down, “Really.”

“It's a pity.”

“Mom!” Clarke blushed harder.

“I’m just saying.” Abby insisted, “She is a good looking young woman who seems very well-spoken and polite and who agreed to drive thousands of miles to get you here without expecting anything in return. She’s a keeper.”

“What makes you think she even likes women?” Clarke said.

Abby rose an eyebrow, “Does she?”

“Well yes, but you didn’t know that. I’m not here to discuss my love life, mom.” she said, rubbing her thumb over the back of her father's hand.

“You’re right, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” Abby kissed the top of her daughter's head, “Now eat your sandwich. You need it.”

 

\-----------

 

Clarke's heart jumped when she felt Jake's hand move in hers, “Dad?” she called, holding her breath.

The man’s eyes fluttered open and it took him a few seconds to realize where he was, “Clarke?” he said in a hoarse voice.

Abby hurried to hand him a drink of water, “Here, drink slowly.” she instructed.

He did as told, then turned towards his daughter, “Long time no see.” he smiled, “If I knew getting in an accident would make you visit, maybe I would have done it earlier.” he joked.

“Dad, don’t joke about that.” Clarke said, tears in her eyes, “I thought I had lost you.” her bottom lip started quivering.

“I know. I’m sorry, kiddo.” He grabbed her hand, “I’m not leaving you just yet.”

Clarke leaned down and rested her head on her father's chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat soothing the pain in her heart.

“I didn’t want to worry you guys.” he passed a hand through his daughter's hair, “I’ll try to avoid doing that again.”

“You better not pull that shit ever again.” Clarke said against his chest, “You’re not allowed to die.”

Jake smiled, He grabbed his wife's hand and kissed the back of it, “I’m not dying anytime soon, don’t worry.”

Lexa stepped inside the room but stopped in her tracks immediately, “Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were busy. I’ll stop by another time.”

“Lexa.” Clarke called out, “You can stay, if you want.”

Lexa opened then closed her mouth, already shaking her head, “I wouldn’t want to disturb you.” 

“You’re not.” Clarke insisted, “I want you to meet my dad.”

Jake frowned and looked at Lexa, “I don't believe we know each other.” he gave a warm smile.

“She’s my colleague.” Clarke explained, “And the one who drove me here.”

“All the way from California?” Jake's eyes widened, “Then I should thank you.” he offered her another smile and a look of gratitude, “For taking care of my little girl.” he ruffled Clarke's hair.

“Dad, stop.”

“How long have you been together?” he asked.

Lexa and Clarke both blushed and stammered a few words out.

“Oh, we’re not- we’re just-”

“It’s not like that, we’re-, we’re just colleagues.” Clarke said, ignoring the look of disappointment which flashed on Jake's features.

“Oh, what a shame.” Lexa blushed harder at the man’s comment, “Is it because she's a messy eater?” he asked Lexa, “I know that can be a turn off for some people.”

Lexa's cheeks heated up, “N-not at all. We just, we’re not-” she stuttered, “Not that anything is wrong with your daughter. Far from it but, uh-”

“I’m just messing with you.” Jake smiled, “I’m Jake, by the way. I don’t think we have properly introduced ourselves yet.”

Lexa stepped closer, “Lexa Woods.” she nodded at the man, “I’m happy to see that you are well.”

“So am I.” Jake laughed, “Come here.” he gestured for her to get closer, then whispered in her ear, “If you ever want to propose to Clarke, you have my blessing.”

Lexa blushed harder, if that was even possible, “G-good to know.” she mumbled, looking down at her feet.

“I like her.” Jake pointed a finger at Lexa, “She’s funny.” 

 _“I wasn’t trying to be.”_ Lexa mumbled.

“Okay, dad, leave her alone.” Clarke chuckled, taking hold of her father's hand once more.

“It was great meeting you, Mr and Mrs. Griffin. I won’t bother you any longer.” she nodded once, then left the room.

Jake looked at his daughter with a smug smile, “I like her.”

Clarke groaned, “Not you too.” she muttered, “I’ve had a long day, I don’t need you two to gang up on me on top of it.” 

“You know we only want what's best for you, kiddo.” Jake squeezed her hand.

“I think I can decide for myself what that is. I don’t want to speak about Lexa right now, I just want to enjoy being with you again.” 

Jake smiled, “Okay. Now give me a hug.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t, come on.” Jake smiled and hugged his daughter tight, “I love you, kiddo.”

A few tears rolled down Clarke's cheeks, “I love you too, dad.”

 

\----------

 

Jake had fallen asleep shortly after. Abby had told Clarke to go home and get changed but the teacher had refused to leave her father's side. She was sitting on a chair by his bedside, holding onto his hand tightly. 

Suddenly, the heart monitor started beeping faster, the sound blaring through the room. Clarke's eyes widened with panic and she rose from her seat but before she could do anything, a medical team rushed inside the room and pushed her aside.

Abby appeared next to her and Clarke shook her head quickly, “N-no, what are they doing?” she started growing agitated, “What’s going on? What are you doing?” she frantically asked a member of the medical staff.

“Clarke, calm down.” Abby tried to get her daughter out of the room but Clarke refused to move, “You have to let them do their job.”

“No!” Clarke shouted, “Where are you taking him?” she asked but her question went ignored.

Lexa appeared in the threshold in that moment. The medical team placed Jake on a stretcher and quickly rolled him out of the room.

Clarke followed after, “They said he would be okay!” she cried, “They said he was fine! They said he would make it! Why did they lie?” she tried to run after them but two strong arms wrapped around her waist, “Let me go!” she yelled, ignoring the looks she got from passers-by.

“I can’t do that.

Clarke instantly recognized that voice, “Lexa, let go of me!” she shouted, kicking Lexa's shins and trying to move away from her hold, “Let me go, for fuck’s sake!” she screamed. 

Lexa winced with each hit but didn’t loosen her hold on Clarke. Abby arrived next to Clarke with a needle and she grabbed her daughter's arm, “I’m sorry, sweetie.” she said before injecting a liquid in her daughter's body.

“What-” Clarke said before her eyelids dropped and her body went limp. Lexa held her upright, lifted her in a bridal hold, and frowned, then glared at Abby.

“What did you-”

“Nothing bad.” Abby told her, “She’s just gonna be out for a couple hours.”

“Are you even allowed to do that?” 

Abby looked at Lexa right in the eyes, “You and I both know she wouldn’t have stopped until she got to see her father. For her own safety, I had to do this.”

Lexa looked down at the unconscious woman in her arms and her eyes stung with the threat of tears, “So what now?” she asked, scared of the potential answer.

“Now we wait.” Abby said.

Lexa looked at the older woman. She looked exhausted. Her eyes were red from crying and she had bags under them. Her shoulders were slumped and she didn’t look as confident and hopeful as she did before.

“What if he-” Lexa dared to ask, “She won't overcome this. We both know that.”

“We’ll have to deal with it in that moment if it comes to that. There's no way to prepare for that possibility.” Abby sighed and dropped on a chair, “I’m so tired.”

“Where are the on-call rooms?” Lexa asked, “She needs to lie down on a real bed.” she nodded towards the blonde woman in her arms.

“I’ll take you to one. Follow me.” Abby said, rising from her seat.

When they entered the room, Lexa gently lowered Clarke onto a bed. Abby asked if she wanted something to eat or drink but Lexa shook her head and took a seat next to the bed. Her hand reached out to Clarke's and she traced circles on the back of it with her thumb. Abby watched with a small, tired smile before leaving the room silently.

 

\-------------

 

As predicted, it took Clarke two hours and eighteen minutes to wake up. Lexa had been counting. She felt the woman's hand move against her own and looked up, only to find blue eyes already looking back at her, a pleading look in them.

“Please, tell me my dad is okay.” 

Lexa's lips parted and she shook her head in an almost indistinguishable manner, “I can’t tell you that with certainty.” she said in an apologetic voice.

The spark of hope in Clarke's eyes died, replaced by tears, “They said he was fine.” she said quietly, almost in a whisper, “He was supposed to be fine. He would come home and we would-” her voice cracked, “We would just forget about all this. It would have just been a bad memory and nothing else.”

Clarke sat up on the bed and buried her face in her hands. Lexa didn’t know what to do. There was nothing she could do or say that would make it better. 

Clarke's hand grabbed and squeezed hers tightly. Lexa turned it around and intertwined their fingers. Clarke looked up and nodded in thanks. They had a silent conversation, their eyes conveying more than words ever could.

“I can take you back to your mother, if you want.”

Clarke shook her head, “I’d like to stay here for a bit if that’s okay.”

Lexa nodded, “Do you want me to leave or…?”

Clarke gripped Lexa's hand tighter, “Stay.” she said without hesitation.

“Okay.” 

“Can you…” Clarke started speaking but never finished.

“Yeah?”

“Can you just lie down with me?”

“Anything you need.” Lexa climbed on the bed, behind Clarke and she wrapped her arms around her colleague, “Is this okay?”

Clarke inhaled sharply, “Yes.” she said in a small voice, “And do not worry, I won’t tell anyone about this.”

“Screw that.” Lexa whispered, “I don’t care who knows.” she confessed, “You’re more important than some dumb reputation I’ve built for myself.”

Clarke's breath hitched and she put her hand on Lexa's forearm, “Thank you.” she felt safe in Lexa's arms and had she not been so worried about her dad, that realization would have scared her.

“Anytime.”

“I’m sorry about kicking you earlier.” Clarke whispered, “Now you’ll have bruises.”

Lexa chuckled, “Don’t worry about it.”

 

\--------------

 

“Internal bleeding.” the surgeon said, “We had missed it during the first surgery. He’s stable now. You will be allowed to see him in an hour.”

They all breathed a collective sigh of relief and Clarke fell into Lexa's arms. No words were needed. Abby watched the interaction with a small smile.

“I’m heading home to grab some clothes to change into. I’ll be back in thirty minutes tops.” she told her daughter, kissing her on the top of her head, “Thank you for everything, Lexa.”

“Sure.” Lexa nodded.

 

\--------------

 

Clarke quietly closed the door of her father's hospital room. She wiped at the tears on her cheeks and headed towards the staircase. She noticed someone seated on the stairs and quickly recognized Lexa.

It was late. She had stayed by her father's side for the last two hours, almost afraid to leave the room, in fear of an incident happening again.

“I thought you would be outside.” she said, startling Lexa.

The woman turned around and shrugged, “I just needed to sit down for a bit.” she lifted her cup of coffee to her lips.

“Mind if I join you?”

Lexa scooted aside, leaving space for Clarke to sit next to her. She patted the empty space, “Make yourself comfortable.”

“I’m so tired.”

“I know.”

Clarke pointed at Lexa's coffee when she took a seat, “Can I have some?”

Lexa handed the cup to her and watched as Clarke's face contorted to one of disgust as the bitter taste of black coffee hit her tongue.

“How can you even drink that?”

“You knew how I take my coffee and yet you still asked for a sip. You can only blame yourself, really.”

Clarke smiled, “I won’t argue with that.”

“Because you know you'd lose.”

“Yeah.” Clarke smiled.

Lexa placed the cup of coffee on her left once she had finished it, “How is he?” she gently asked.

Clarke breathed deeply, “Good. He’s good.” she smiled slightly, “He was very lucky.” she swallowed heavily, “The doctors said it could have been much worse.” she inhaled shakily, “I don't know what I would do if he-” she couldn’t say it. She just couldn’t.

Lexa placed a hand on Clarke's knee, “But he didn’t. He’s fine now.” she looked deep into blue eyes, speaking softly.

Something shifted in the air around them. Clarke's eyes zeroed in on Lexa's before flicking down.

It all happened very fast.

Clarke rested one hand on the stair above and her other hand grabbed the back of Lexa's neck to connect their lips. Lexa's eyes widened. Her left hand shot up to grab Clarke's wrist and slowly, she closed her eyes. 

Clarke's lips felt incredibly soft against her own. She lost herself in the feel of them and only when Clarke changed the angle did she regain some clarity of mind, “Wait.” she breathlessly said, pushing gently on Clarke's shoulders, “I- I can’t.” she shook her head.

She wanted to dive back in. More than anything. She had just found out what it felt like to kiss Clarke Griffin and she was fairly certain she was addicted to it now, high on the feeling of it, but it wasn’t right.

“Why not?” Clarke frowned, hurt flashing in her eyes.

Lexa sighed, “You almost lost your father, Clarke.” she softly said, “We’re both exhausted, you more than anyone else here and you’re not in the right state of mind to…” she looked up, “I can't take advantage of the situation and of you like that.”

“What?” Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand, “You’re not taking advantage of me.” she said confidently, “I want this.”

Lexa started shaking her head, refusing to believe it. She didn’t want to get her hopes up only to have them be destroyed the next day, “What you feel, that’s just gratefulness. It’ll pass. You might think it’s more but it's not.”

“No, Lexa. That’s not it.”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa said, scrambling to her feet, “I can’t.” she walked up the few stairs and disappeared behind the hospital door.

Clarke looked at the door with a dejected look. She brought her fingers to her lips. She could almost still feel Lexa's lips against her own, “Fuck.” she muttered under her breath.

Lexa had kissed her back, right? She hadn’t imagined it. Everything was getting blurry inside her mind and suddenly she started doubting. Maybe Lexa had only kissed her back to avoid hurting her feelings. Maybe Lexa just took pity on her for a moment.

She dropped her face in her hands and groaned.

 

\------------

 

Lexa booked herself a hotel room so she could spend the night somewhere else than at the hospital. The next day she would drive back to California, hoping to get there by Sunday night.

Clarke would most likely want to stay with her family for the next few days. Surely enough, Abby told her that Clarke had given their superior a call to tell him she wouldn’t be at work until Thursday morning. Seeing the circumstances, he had agreed to it fairly quickly.

“Clarke told me you would drive back to California in the morning.” Abby said.

“That is the plan, yes.”

Abby nodded, “Thank you again.”

Lexa shook her head, “It was nothing. I am happy all is well.” she gave the woman a polite smile, “I should go to the hotel if I want to get some sleep. Please, send my farewell to your husband.”

“Wait!”

Lexa stopped in her tracks, “Yes?”

“I think he'd like for you to say goodbye in person.” Abby said, “He’s currently awake if you want. Clarke is with him.”

Lexa nodded, “Well then.” she followed after Abby.

Upon entering the room, her eyes met Clarke's and they both looked away, a similar pink color on their cheeks. Things were awkward between them now.

“Lexa.” Jake smiled, “Come in, come in.” he gestured for her to get closer.

“I won’t stay long.” Lexa said, “I have booked a room at a nearby hotel. I simply wanted to say goodbye.”

“Come over here.” Jake waved his arms around and pulled Lexa in for a hug when she was close enough, “Thank you.” he said only for her to hear.

“What for?”

“You know what for.” 

Lexa smiled, “You’re welcome.”

“Please, make sure she's okay. I can't always watch over her but I know you will.”

Lexa nodded and moved away from the man, “I should go.” she nodded at Abby, then at Clarke, “Abby, Clarke.” she spoke Clarke's name in a softer tone, “Have a goodnight.”

“You too, Lexa.” Abby smiled.

“Goodnight, Lex.” Clarke said ever so quietly. She knew Lexa heard her when the brunette gave her a soft smile before leaving the room.

“Soooo, are we still sure nothing is going on between the two of you?” Jake asked.

Clarke sighed, “I don’t know, dad.” she admitted, “She’s so...ugh!” 

“Yeah, that explains it.”

Clarke laughed, “It’s so infuriating because I cannot figure her out. She's so good at masking her feelings, it’s almost scary.”

Jake smiled, “Clarkey is in love.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Shut up, dad.” a smile broke free and she grabbed her father's hand, “I’d rather focus on you.”

“Alright.” Jake agreed, “But I’m all for it if you ever want to try something with that woman. She's amazing.”

“Yeah…” Clarke said pensively, “Yeah, she is but enough about her, I want to know what you two have been up to while I was gone.”

“What we've been up to? We're old and boring. We should be asking you that!” Jake exclaimed, drawing a laugh from the two other women in the room.

Unbeknownst to them, Lexa hadn’t left yet. She had remained by the door for the past few minutes, listening in despite her mind telling her to leave. She had heard Clarke's admission and her heart had jumped in her chest. She smiled upon hearing Clarke's laughter. She realized then how badly she had missed the sound.

She moved away from the door and headed to her hotel, the faint memory of Clarke's lips against her own lingering in her mind.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when I'll be able to post again because my finals are in less than a month, meaning a lot of my time will be spent studying instead of writing (and instead of playing Assassin's Creed Odyssey like I've been doing the past three weeks. I blinked and I was already at seventy hours of gaming. It was purely accidental. PS: I regret nothing and will continue doing it cause that game is a masterpiece). Thank you all for your kindness and patience <3


	12. "We should talk."

 

Lexa closed the door of her hotel room and leaned against it, taking some time to gather the mess that had become her thoughts. She could almost still feel Clarke's lips on her own and it was slowly driving her crazy. She could remember  _ everything _ . Every movement of Clarke's lips against her own, each graze of Clarke's fingers against her cheek.

The burst of feelings that had erupted within herself when Clarke's lips had finally met her own was indescribable. The magnitude of what she had felt in that moment was still a shock to her and a tiny part of her felt thankful that she had cut the kiss short because she knew she could have gotten lost in the feeling of Clarke's lips, she could have easily surrendered herself entirely to it, she could have drowned in the raging ocean that was Clarke Griffin. 

She slid against the door and took hold of her head, trying to silence the thoughts running wildly through her mind, “What am I supposed to do?” she wondered aloud. 

Had someone asked her about it a couple months ago, she would have answered that dating was entirely off the table, that she had sworn off of it and that she wasn’t ready for another relationship yet. And that was true. 

But that was before meeting Clarke.

That was before  _ everything _ .

Now? Now, she was just confused.

  
  


**Wednesday, the 8th of March**

  
  


During the weekend, Clarke had had a lot of time to think. Too much time, perhaps. To think about what the kiss meant, about what she wanted, and about how she would approach her return to school. She had played Lexa's words over and over again in her head, analyzing each and every one of them.  _ Over analyzing them,  _ her father had said. She had attempted to figure out the meaning behind them. Did Lexa really feel uncomfortable with taking advantage of the situation or had she used that as an excuse to turn down Clarke in somewhat of a nice way?

She had worried herself irrationally over the lack of text messages from her colleague. Maybe Lexa was trying to put some distance between them because she didn’t feel the same way? 

Clarke was quite straightforward when it came to her feelings or her thoughts about things and people, but Lexa, Lexa was a mystery of which Clarke couldn't quite crack the code. But she wanted to, she  _ really _ wanted to. And if she had to spend hours on end looking for a way to slip through the cracks of Lexa's self-made armor, then so be it.

After days of thinking it over, she had come to the conclusion that if she wanted real answers, she would have to go get them herself.

She strolled through the hallways of the school in search of the classroom she had chosen to be her destination. She all but ran up the stairs, greeting the few students who expressed their contentment at seeing her back to work. When she reached the door, she slowed down her pace, breathed slowly, then assuredly opened it. She then closed the door and leaned against it, hands flat against its wooden surface.

Lexa's head snapped to the side, looking away from the papers on her desk and she dropped her pencil. She straightened in her chair, then seemed to change her mind and slowly, she rose from her seat, “Clarke.” she gave a slow nod, “I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.”

Clarke stayed silent. She stared at Lexa up and down without uttering a single word. Her chest rising with each breath.

“Clarke?” Lexa said once more and it seemed to act as a trigger for Clarke because as soon as the name had left Lexa's lips, Clarke was jumping into movement.

She spun on her feet, locked the door with a soft clicking sound, then took long and confident strides towards Lexa.

“Clarke, what are y-”

Clarke cupped Lexa's face and she kissed her.  _ Hard _ . There was nothing gentle about that kiss and Lexa's eyes slammed shut whilst her eyebrows shot up in surprise. Her hands instantly searched behind her for her desk so she could grab onto it to keep her balance.

She struggled to reciprocate the intensity with which Clarke was kissing her but when she found her rhythm, her hands were on Clarke's hips and her lips were moving fast against the blonde's. The feeling was foreign yet familiar and oddly comforting. Clarke was  _ everywhere.  _ She could only feel the press and the warmth of Clarke’s body against her own and could only smell the heady scent of Clarke's perfume. She smelled like earth and she felt a whole lot like freedom.

The distance felt like too much. No matter how close they were standing, she couldn’t get enough. Kissing Clarke felt like a whip of fresh air after holding your breath for too long. It was thrilling and scary all at the same time. It felt like free falling and Lexa  _ really  _ hoped Clarke would be there to catch her.

Her hands clawed at Clarke's shirt, over the curve of her waist, and she felt the woman shudder in her arms. The content sigh which Clarke let out landed softer even than a caress against Lexa's cheek. 

She heard a moan come from the back of Clarke's throat and it spurred her on. Without disconnecting their lips, she started moving forward until Clarke's back hit the wall and the blonde found herself trapped between the wall and Lexa's body. The blonde yelped but it quickly turned into a laugh.

“Control freak.” Clarke chuckled breathlessly before flipping them around so that Lexa was now the one whose back was touching the wall.

Any sharp or snarky reply Lexa might have come up with died in her throat when Clarke's lips latched onto her own once more. 

She tried to gain the upper hand in the kiss but Clarke was relentless. The blonde changed the angle of the kiss, then grabbed Lexa's bottom lip between her teeth, tugging at it, then releasing it, the hint of a smirk growing on swollen lips upon seeing the desire in Lexa's hooded eyes.

Lexa held in a moan when soft and curious hands slipped just under the hem of her shirt, exploring the newly uncovered patch of skin with gentle fingertips. Lexa reluctantly put some distance between Clarke and herself before things escalated too much, “Wait.” she said, looking down at her shoes as she tried to regain her breath, her exhales coming out shakier than either of them expected.

“Are you gonna push me away again?” Clarke asked, her voice more vulnerable than she intended.

“What?” Lexa frowned, then realized why Clarke would ask that. The silence hung heavy between them and each second that went by, Lexa could observe the shift in Clarke's face and the growing worry on her features, “Back at the hospital, on the stairs...did you think that was me pushing you away?” 

Clarke shrugged, “Wasn’t it?” she took a step back, her confidence gone.

“No.” Lexa shook her head, “I just didn’t want to take advantage of you. I meant it.” she stepped forward.

Clarke looked up, “Really? Because…” she sighed, “I felt like a complete idiot that night. I thought you weren’t into it.”

“So you decided to do it again?” Lexa asked, amused, “What kind of logic is that?”

“Glad to see that you're not getting soft on me.” Clarke chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck, “I needed answers, okay?” she quietly said, “And...you probably wouldn’t have given them to me any other way so I guess I just thought going for the prize was the best way to-”

_ “Going for the prize?”  _ Lexa repeated, lifting an eyebrow, “Really?” she smiled.

“Well, you know what I meant.” Clarke laughed nervously.

“I think we should talk about this.”

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, good idea, yeah. Definitely. We should, uh yeah, we should talk.” she looked around and lifted a chair, placing it next to Lexa's desk, “Let’s talk.”

Lexa smiled and sat down behind her desk, “Let’s talk.” she repeated.

They both stared at one another in silence, waiting for the other to speak. Neither of them seemed ready to make the first move.

“Good talk.” Clarke said, rising from her seat and all but running towards the door, unlocking it.

“Clarke.”

The blonde sighed, “I don’t know how to do this, Lexa.”

“And you think I do?” Lexa asked, “I’m the one who ruled out dating a long time ago and you just-” she waved her hand around without finishing her sentence.

“I just…?”

“You just came and made it all tumble down.” Lexa sighed, “I never wanted this. I tried to avoid it so badly and yet…”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“I….like you.” Lexa said, looking down at the ground.

“That sounded painful to say.”

Lexa looked up, “It’s not really the time for jokes, Clarke.” she said, painfully aware that her confession hadn’t yet been reciprocated and was just hanging between them.

Clarke nodded, “You’re right. I’m sorry.” she instantly apologized, “I just don’t know how to handle all of this and humor is my way to go whenever that happens.”

Lexa clenched her jaw. She felt vulnerable and she hated it. She willed herself to keep her eyes connected with Clarke's instead of looking away like her first instincts told her to do.

Clarke moved her chair closer, taking a deep breath. She clasped her hands together, “I like you too.”

Lexa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, “That sounds so pre-school.” she laughed to herself, cheeks flushed.

“Well, what else was I supposed to reply? I can play hard to get if you want?” she raised a teasing eyebrow.

“No, thanks.” Lexa rolled her eyes, “That wouldn’t make me like you any more or any less so that would be pointless.”

“Okay.” Clarke placed her hands on her thighs, “So we’ve both established that we like each other. How do we go about this?”

Lexa sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Maybe….god, this all sounds like some professional contract. This is so unconventional.”

“Clarke, our friendship hasn’t exactly been the most conventional up until now.” Lexa pointed out.

Clarke smiled, “Yeah…” she glanced down at her hands and took a deep breath before locking eyes with Lexa again, “Would you-”

The bell indicating the beginning of class rang and students started entering the classroom, cutting off whatever Clarke was about to say.

Lexa gave her an apologetic look. She placed a hand on the small of Clarke's back after the woman got up and leaned close to her ear to whisper, “We’ll talk later, okay?”

Clarke blushed and nodded, trying to hide how flustered she was by ducking her head. She caught some students’ curious looks but didn’t lift her head until she was outside and away from prying eyes.

She blushed deeper, barely believing that what had just transpired between Lexa and herself was real. She brought her fingers up to her lips, barely touching them and a  _ giggle  _ escaped her lips. Even she didn’t understand where the sound had come from.

She was thankful she didn't teach until next period because it was obvious something was up with her and she would rather be safe from students’ interrogations and speculations.

 

\-----------

 

Her foot was tapping against the floor in anticipation. She was seated in the teachers’ lounge, burning a hole with her eyes into the door that gave access to the room, waiting yet dreading for it to open and reveal her colleague. The bell had rung minutes ago, meaning it was only a matter of seco-

She startled when the door was pushed open, her body tensing, then relaxing when she saw that it was Anya. She sighed and fell back against the chair she was sitting on. She then placed her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice the door being opened once again.

“Hey.”

Clarke's eyes snapped up upon hearing the voice and she saw Lexa standing in front of her, hands clasped behind her back, lips pursed, and her chin tilted up.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, louder than intended, “Hi.” she said more quietly.

“Can we talk?” 

Clarke frowned, “Uh, yeah, sure, yeah.” she stood up and followed after the brunette as the latter led them outside the teachers’ lounge and into the courtyard.

Lexa sat down on one of the benches and she patted the space next to her so that Clarke would come sit next to her.

Only a couple students were lazing around in the courtyard during their free period. Lexa stared at said students until they noticed the teachers and walked further away from them, heading towards a more secluded area of the courtyard.

“What did you want to talk about?” Clarke asked, fidgeting on the bench.

Lexa cleared her throat, “We didn’t really get to finish our conversation earlier and we both have a free period now so I figured now was as good a time as any.”

“Right.” Clarke nodded, looking ahead of her instead of at her colleague. After a few beats of silence, Clarke groaned and dropped her face in her hands, “Why are things so awkward now?” she huffed.

“Because it is much easier to pretend to dislike each other than it is to…” she gestured vaguely with her hands, “To do that.”

“And what is  _ that?” _ Clarke rose a curious eyebrow.

Lexa swallowed heavily, “Feelings and stuff.” she mumbled.

“Yeah…”

Lexa inhaled deeply, then angled her body towards Clarke, “Okay.” she quietly said, “When you kissed me-” she had to stop for a second because of how weird yet nice it was to say this, “back at the hospital, I...I thought you'd regret it.”

“Why?”

Lexa placed her hand beside her on the bench and smiled to herself when Clarke lowered her own hand onto it.

“Because your dad had almost died.” she all but whispered, “And I was the one to bring you to the hospital.” she continued, “I didn’t want you to kiss me because you  _ thought  _ that’s what you wanted or because you thought you owed me something, I-”

“Lexa…” Clarke frowned, “I...I would’ve never kissed you out of gratefulness. Yes, I was thankful that you brought me to the hospital, more than thankful, but…” she squeezed Lexa's hand, “I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, maybe for longer than I realize. This,” she gestured between the two of them, “This was a long time coming. At least on my part.”

Lexa nodded and took a moment to think, “I don’t know how to do this.” she finally said, sighing, “I’m sorry, I know that’s not the kind of thing you're expecting from me but I just-” she huffed, frustrated at her inability to express how she felt, “I haven’t...done this in a while.”

“I haven’t either.” Clarke said, searching Lexa's eyes with her own, “But...maybe we could try? I haven’t felt like that about many people in my life.”

Lexa's eyes jumped to meet Clarke's, “Really?”

Clarke smiled, “Yeah.” she confirmed, nodding.

Lexa started to visibly panic so Clarke grabbed her hands before it could get any worse. She scooted closer and spoke in a low voice.

“Hey, hey, breathe slowly, okay?” she whispered.

“I can’t-” Lexa shook her head, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“What? Lexa, what do you mean?”

Lexa looked away. She swallowed heavily, “I wasn’t enough for Costia.” she saw that Clarke was about to speak but silenced the woman with a movement of her hand, “And I won’t be enough for you. You deserve so much better than me.”

Clarke got up abruptly. She tugged on Lexa's hand and hurriedly led them towards the inside of the building.

“Clarke?” 

“Shut up.”

Lexa frowned and wordlessly let herself be guided until they reached Clarke's classroom. The blonde locked the door behind them and she all but pushed Lexa towards the desk, gesturing for the brunette to take a seat.

Clarke paced across the room for a couple minutes before turning on her heels and facing Lexa, “Go on a date with me.”

“What?”

“Go on a date with me.” Clarke repeated, “And I’ll show you that you’re more than enough for me.”

Lexa clenched her jaw, “Maybe we should just stay friends. Not make it complicated.”

Clarke deflected slightly but she didn't let it appear on her face as she moved closer, “Is that really what you want?”

Lexa stayed silent. It wasn’t what she wanted. Far from it if she was being honest. She bit her lower lip, rising on shaky legs and starting to pace, much like Clarke had done mere seconds ago.

“See?” Clarke insisted, “You’re not even sure that you're making the right decision by saying this. Just give me a chance.”

Lexa startled slightly when a hand suddenly grabbed her own. She breathed deeply, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Clarke's smile widened.

“Okay.” Lexa confirmed.

Clarke wrapped her arms around her, “Thank you.” she mumbled against Lexa's shoulders.

Lexa smiled, almost entirely certain she had made the right decision, “Why are you thanking me?”

Clarke laughed, “I don’t know, is it weird that I am?”

“Kind of, but I didn’t expect anything else from you, really.”

Clarke moved away from Lexa and smiled, “You’re still a jerk.” she commented.

“Yeah.”

She smiled upon hearing the blonde's laughter. She loved the sound. It felt freeing to not have to lie to herself about things like that.

“You know, we could have done this a long time ago if you weren't so closed off.”

Lexa nodded, “I know.” she agreed, “But I like this timing too.”

Clarke's lips parted slightly and her eyes were glued to the woman beside her, “I really want to kiss you right now.” she confessed unashamedly.

Lexa blushed heavily. Her eyes jumped to the door, making sure no one would see them, “Then what are you waiting for?”

Clarke's lips shifted into a wide smile and she moved closer until their lips were only inches apart, “Your move, Woods.” she whispered.

Lexa closed the remaining distance between them, a content sigh escaping her when their lips finally met.

Clarke's right hand slid up Lexa's neck, her fingertips grazing the baby hair at the base of Lexa's neck. Her other hand cupped Lexa's cheek.

Too soon  _ -or at least it felt like too soon according to Clarke- _ , Lexa broke the kiss and put some distance between them. Instantly, the French teacher looked around, only relaxing when she saw that they were still alone.

“I locked the door. No one will come in.” Clarke whispered before moving close again and capturing Lexa's lips once more.

Lexa felt dizzy. She was high on the taste of Clarke's lips and it scared her. She felt hands on her shoulders and suddenly, she was being pushed backwards until she fell into the chair next to her desk.

Before she could question it, Clarke lowered herself into her lap and wrapped her arms loosely around her shoulders.

Lexa's lips parted. She stared up at Clarke in slight wonderment and hesitantly fit her hands in the curve of the blonde's hips.

“Is this too forward?” Clarke asked, suddenly unsure.

Lexa shook her head, giving a wordless answer. Clarke smiled and dipped her head to connect their lips once more.

“We should have done that a long time ago.” she mumbled in between kisses.

Lexa slowly grew bolder and she wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist to pull the blonde even closer to herself. She almost lost all sense of control when she heard a whimper escape Clarke's lips.

Almost.

The sound of the door handle being fumbled, followed by a knock, interrupted any thoughts Lexa might have been entertaining, some of those thoughts heading towards a dangerous territory.

Clarke brusquely jumped off her lap and straightened her shirt before going to unlock the door. Niylah was standing behind it. It took a short glance at the two women inside the room for understanding to fall upon the woman. 

_ Locked room. Messy hair. Swollen lips. _

“Not ready for a relationship.” Niylah scoffed, “Yeah, right.” 

With that, she turned on her heels and left.

“Shit.”

“What did she mean by that?” Lexa asked, trying to ignore the urge to resume their previous activities.

Clarke turned around, a guilty look on her face, “I might have told her that I didn’t want to be with her because I wasn’t ready for a relationship.”

“Why did you do that?” 

“Because I didn't want to hurt her feelings!” Clarke threw her hands in the air, “But obviously, that didn't work.” her shoulders slumped.

Lexa reached out to Clarke with her hands, “Hey, come here.” she tugged on Clarke's hands until the blonde was standing in front of her, “Sit down.”

“On you?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, a smirk growing on her lips.

“Why not, Griffin? Are you shy or something?”

Clarke rolled her eyes and she dropped into Lexa's lap, “I’m not shy.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” Lexa said with a knowing smile, then grew serious, “You can’t hold yourself accountable for the way people react to things.”

“But if I hadn’t lied to her then…”

“It would have hurt her feelings anyway.” Lexa reasoned, “She’ll get over herself eventually. Don't worry yourself over it.”

Clarke stared at her for a few seconds, “I really like you.” she all but whispered, “Like,  _ really _ .”

Lexa swallowed heavily.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Clarke asked.

“The last person who told me this ended up cheating on me three years later.” Lexa said, seemingly emotionless.

“I’m not her.”

“I know.”

“I don’t plan on hurting you.”

“I know.”

“Then what are you scared of?” Clarke asked, eyes searching Lexa's for any sign of discomfort or fear.

“You.”

“I scare you?”

“Yes, you do.” Lexa breathed out, “Because...because I don’t want to mess this up and because I try to act unaffected by everything but I  _ know _ you have the power to just-” she huffed in frustration, “You have the power to hurt me.”

“I need you to trust that I won't.”

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“I would never purposely hurt you.” Clarke said with certainty, “Never, you hear me?” she watched as Lexa's eyes became fleeing, “Look at me.” she tilted Lexa's chin up, “I mean what I’m saying.”

Lexa nodded, “Okay.” 

“I don't even understand the way I feel but I feel so many things when I'm with you. Good things.” Clarke smiled, “And I...I want to see where this could go.”

“We’re so different...”

“Yes, yes we are. But that’s why it works!” Clarke insisted, “You’re more controlled whereas I’m a bit over the top at times but you tame me, in a way. And you're closed off but I  _ know  _ I can get you to open up. I think I already did.”

“You really think we would work together?”

“Yes.” 

The certainty in Clarke's words was what struck Lexa the most. She looked into Clarke's sincere eyes, and she knew in that moment, she knew what she wanted.

“I want to go on a date with you.” Lexa said, her eyes boring into Clarke's.

The smile which appeared on Clarke's face in that moment was one of the most beautiful things Lexa had ever seen. And she had gone sightseeing several times already.

“I thought you’d never agree to this.” Clarke said, playfully slapping Lexa's shoulder, “You're way too stubborn.”

“I am stubborn?” Lexa's eyes widened.

“Yes!” Clarke exclaimed.

“You’re more stubborn than I could ever hope to be.” Lexa accused. She smiled when she saw the shift in Clarke's features, the woman's mouth falling open in mock offense.

“Take it back.”

“No.”

“Take it back.”

Lexa shook her head.

“I hate you.” Clarke said, grinning.

The words caused a warmth to erupt in Lexa's stomach and to progressively spread through her body, “I hate you too.” she replied in a soft tone.

Clarke leaned her head forward until her forehead bumped gently against Lexa's, “I can't believe you said yes.” her lips opened to let a breathy chuckle escape.

“Why?”

“Cause I didn’t think you were even able to have feelings for someone.”

Lexa pushed on Clarke's shoulders, “You just ruined it.”

Clarke laughed, “No wait, I'm sorry.” she said through her laughter, dropping her hands on Lexa's shoulders, “I was just kidding. I know you’re a softie.”

Lexa's lips pulled downwards and she looked at Clarke, unamused. She tried and failed not to notice the blonde's beauty from up close. In this position, she could see barely visible freckles on Clarke's nose. She felt the unexplainable urge to brush her thumb over them. Before she even realized what she was doing, her hand was cupping Clarke's cheek and her thumb was hovering over the woman's nose.

Clarke felt self-conscious under Lexa's close scrutiny. She swallowed heavily and frowned when she saw how intensely Lexa was staring at the area below her eyes, the brunette's thumb hovering over her nose but never quite touching it. She let out a nervous chuckle, “Is there something on my face or something?” she asked.

Lexa shook her head and her eyes flicked upwards to meet Clarke's, “No, not at all.” she whispered, “You’re just…” she moved her hands away from Clarke's face and looked down for a fraction of second before looking back up, “You’re beautiful.”

Clarke blushed and her chest felt warm at the compliment, “Finally admitting it, huh?” she joked to hide how affected she was by the words.

“Yeah, well, I was lying to myself too.”

“You’ve become awfully honest.” Clarke laughed, the blush spreading from her neck all the way to her cheeks.

“I’m trying this new thing called opening up. A friend of mine told me it would be beneficial. And I have to admit that it’s quite nice.”

“That friend seems very smart.” Clarke said with a cocky grin and an expression that screamed  _ I told you so. _

Lexa smiled, “She is.” she all but whispered, her eyes never leaving Clarke's.

A  _ giggle  _ pushed past Clarke's lips and she blushed and covered her mouth as soon as the sound left her throat but it was too late and already, she could see the growing smile on Lexa's lips.

“Was that a  _ giggle?”  _ Lexa asked, smirking.

“Don’t make fun of me.” Clarke said, peeking through her fingers which were now covering her eyes and flushed cheeks, “I’m just not used to that kind of honesty, it’s weird.”

“Good weird, I hope.”

Clarke nodded, still hiding her face behind her hands. She jumped slightly in Lexa's lap when hands suddenly grabbed her own with utmost gentleness, uncovering her face slowly, revealing bit by bit the redness of her cheeks and the embarrassment in her eyes.

“I’m not making fun of you.” Lexa said, “I think it was cute.”

“Even worse.” Clarke said, laughing, “I’m not cute, Woods. Cross that word out of your vocabulary.”

Lexa just smiled up at her. No more words were needed. She wished they could stay like this for a lot longer. Unfortunately, in a few minutes time, she would have to head towards the other end of the building to teach her next class and Clarke would stay here to teach hers.

For the few remaining minutes before the inevitable and impending ringing of the clock, she just wanted to  _ be  _ in this moment, to relish in it as much as possible. So she dropped her hands back on Clarke's waist and she squeezed slightly, even if only to reassure herself that this was real, that Clarke was real and  _ here _ , asking her to go on a date with her.

“You’re looking at me weirdly.”

“I’ve always looked at you like this.”

“No, you haven’t.” Clarke said, ducking her head slightly, “Not….like this.”

Lexa frowned, “Do you want me to stop?” she asked, worried she was getting a bit ahead of herself.

“No.” Clarke shook her head slowly yet firmly, “I like it.”

Lexa nodded slowly, then looked down at her watch.  _ Ten minutes left. _

Hesitantly, she reached for Clarke's hand between their bodies and brushed her thumb over her fingers, all the while looking down at the movement, “How is your father?” she asked quietly.

She heard the soft gasp of air Clarke produced at the mention of her father. The events were still pretty fresh in both their minds and Lexa could only imagine how emotionally trying it had been to almost lose a parent to an accident.

“He’s fine.” Clarke whispered, the words leaving her throat with some difficulty due to the tightness in it, “He’s taking a few weeks off work, to heal properly. My mom is taking care of him, too.”

“That’s good.” Lexa smiled, “I’m happy to hear that.”

Clarke's hands flew to Lexa's cheek, caressing them with her thumbs, “I owe you so much.” she murmured, getting lost in the forest of green looking back at her with understanding and intensity.

“None of that.” Lexa shook her head and turned her head on the right to press her lips against Clarke's thumb, “You needed support and I offered it, that’s all. I did the decent thing.”

“You did more.” 

Lexa shrugged non-committedly, “Yeah, maybe.” she brushed it off.

“Hey, look at me.” Clarke grabbed Lexa's chin between her thumb and index, “You did more, okay? You have no idea how thankful I am for what you did. You didn't have to drive all the way to Minnesota but you did.”

“I  _ wanted _ to do it.” Lexa quietly said, “For you.”

Clarke blinked once, twice, then her lips spread into a timid smile and her heart fluttered at Lexa's quiet admission, “Thank you.” 

Clarke then moved off Lexa's lap, figuring Lexa's legs would grow numb if she stayed too long. She was about to say something but the bell interrupted her.

“Saved by the bell.” she joked, “You need to get to your next class.”

“I can be late. I’m the teacher.” 

Clarke crossed her arms and gave Lexa a pointed look, “You’re not  _ that  _ kind of teacher and we both know it. You’re not fooling anyone.”

Lexa sighed, “Right.” she got up and walked past Clarke, their shoulders brushing. Before leaving the classroom, she changed one last glance behind her, “Will I see you again today?”

“Can’t get enough of me?” Clarke smirked, then laughed at Lexa's unamused face, “I'll be around.”

Slowly, she pushed herself away from the desk and closed the distance between Lexa and herself. She placed her hand on Lexa's cheek and her mouth right beside the brunette's ear, her breath causing shivers to appear on Lexa's skin.

“Just a little something to make my absence a bit more bearable.” she whispered before capturing Lexa's lips in hers for a short kiss.

She laughed when she saw how flustered Lexa had gotten. The brunette fumbled with the handle, struggling slightly to get it open and Clarke's smirk grew.

“B-Bye.” Lexa mumbled hastily before disappearing into the hallways, cheeks red and hands trembling.

Clarke was amazed to witness how quickly Lexa could go from cold and unaffected to a flustered and stuttering mess. 

 

\------------

 

Lexa startled when she felt a hand on her upper arm, fingers digging through the skin, and warm breath against her cheek, “Friday night at seven o’clock, I’ll meet you at your apartment, dress nice.” 

Lexa shivered and smiled upon hearing the whispered words, “Okay.” she breathed out. She couldn’t see Clarke for the woman was still standing behind her, but she could feel her  _ every  _ move. Every glide of Clarke's fingers on her arm, every intake of breath.

Clarke's hand moved down her arm until their hands were joined. The blonde woman stepped forward until she was standing in front of Lexa. She winked, then walked away, keeping Lexa's hand in her own until the distance was too great and they were forced to let go.

Lexa stared at her retreating figure, a dumb smile gracing her lips. Her awe-filled eyes traveled across the entirety of the woman's body, from her flowing blonde hair, to the curve of her waist and to lean legs, left partly uncovered by Clarke's pencil skirt.

She cleared her throat when she noticed Anya looking at her from the other end of the hallway, a puzzled expression on her face. She straightened her posture, gave her friend a firm nod, then walked out of the building in the direction of her car.

 

\------------

 

Clarke readjusted her dress and gave herself one last once over in the mirror in the hallway of Lexa's apartment building. She nodded to herself once before pressing on the call button of the elevator.

She tried not to feel too nervous about the way tonight would go. It was true that it had been a while since either of them had gone on a date but she was fairly certain she still had the hang of it, or at least she hoped so. 

Her steps went from assured and confident to slow and hesitant the closer she got to Lexa's door. She came to a complete stop in front of it and breathed deeply before bringing her fist down on the wooden door.

When Lexa opened the door, Clarke's expression turned to one of concern, “Lexa, are you okay?”

The woman looked pale, more so than usual. She had bags under her eyes and seemed in a state of great fatigue. It took only a few seconds for Clarke to assess the situation and come to the conclusion that Lexa had gotten sick.

“I’m fine, I’m feeling perfectly f-” her words were interrupted by a sudden and violent coughing fit.

Clarke stepped forward, closed the apartment door and guided Lexa towards the couch, “Lie down.” she instructed, pushing on Lexa's shoulders. Lexa showed some resistance so Clarke applied more pressure on her shoulders until the brunette was in a sitting position, “Lie down.” she repeated.

“But I feel okay, I swear.”

“You have a cold, Lex. You don’t feel fine.”

Lexa wanted to argue but she didn’t get the chance to. Her eyes widened a fraction of second before she sneezed. Clarke grabbed a box of tissues and handed a few to Lexa.

“Thank you.” the brunette mumbled, throwing the tissues in a trash can which was conveniently already placed next to the couch.

Clarke kneeled next to the couch and she made Lexa lie down on her back before leaning forward until their foreheads were touching. The high temperature of Lexa's skin confirmed her suspicions.

“You have a fever.” she noted, pulling back.

“What?” Lexa said, “No, I’m just a bit tired, that's all. It’ll get better once we’re outside.”

Clarke shook her head, “We’re not going out while you're sick.”

“I’m not-” Lexa quickly grabbed a tissue and sneezed into it, “I’m  _ not  _ sick.”

“You are.”

“Lexa Woods never gets sick.”

Clarke smiled and brushed a few strands of hair away from Lexa's forehead, “And apparently sick Lexa Woods likes to speak of herself in the third person.” 

“I told you, I’m not sick. This will pass in ten minutes.”

“Never thought I’d tell you this but you’re a bit too optimistic here.”

Lexa huffed and closed her eyes for a few seconds, relishing in the feeling of finally letting her eyes rest some, “Just give me ten minutes and we can go.”

“No, Lexa. You need to rest.”

“But...our date…”

Clarke melted at those words, at the realization that Lexa cared that much about the date that she wanted to go even if she wasn’t feeling great at the moment, “We can reschedule.” she whispered, “Tonight, I’m gonna take care of you, alright?”

“Not the kind of care I expected from tonight.” Lexa said, a smirk on her lips.

Clarke slapped her shoulder but couldn't help the laugh that escaped, “Asswipe. You’re not getting that anytime soon now.”

Lexa smiled, “I’ll make you change your mind.” she confidently said, “I’ve been told my eyes are to die for.”

“By who?”

“My imaginary friend when I was five.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “Did you really have an imaginary friend when you were five?”

“I don’t know, don’t remember.” Lexa said around a yawn.

“Cause you know that’s how every horror movie starts, right? Kids are evil.” Clarke said, cupping the side of Lexa's face and brushing her thumb over sweaty cheeks.

“Only cheap horror movies. You need to watch some good ones instead of those stupid ones that all have the exact same storyline.”

“Alright, maybe you can show me good horror movies once you’re back to health.” Clarke whispered.

“I told you, I’m  _ not  _ s-”

“Not sick, yeah, yeah.” Clarke cut her off, “And we both know that’s a lie so you’re gonna get some rest and I’m gonna stay with you while you do so.”

“You don’t have to. You can go back home if you want to. I’m sure that’ll be more fun for you.”

“Do you  _ want  _ me to leave?”

Lexa stared into blue eyes for a brief moment, “No.” the single word rolled off her tongue quietly, “No, I do not.”

Clarke smiled, “Then I’m staying.” 

“Okay but will you at least sit somewhere more comfortable? The floor isn’t the nicest seating place.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Lift your head.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Bossy.” Lexa commented as she dug her elbows into the couch and pushed her upper body off of the couch.

Clarke settled on the couch and pulled on Lexa's shoulders until her colleague's head was resting on her lap, “Better.” she whispered.

“Don’t treat me like a baby.” Lexa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest. 

“You’re sick. You're not in a state to be making demands.” Clarke tangled her fingers in brown curls and started running them through Lexa's hair.

Lexa let out a noise of contentment, then blushed instantly when she saw the knowing look on Clarke's face, “Don’t.”

“I haven’t said anything.” Clarke smiled, drawing random patterns on Lexa's scalp.

Lexa hummed unbelievingly and closed her eyes, too exhausted and physically weak to keep them open much longer. She surrendered to her exhaustion, the motion of Clarke's fingers in her hair lulling her to sleep.

“Sleep. You need it.” the English teacher whispered.

Lexa hummed tiredly. She reached behind her for the hand Clarke wasn’t busy with, and she brought their linked hands against her chest, “Thank you, Clarke.” she whispered before falling asleep.

 

 


	13. "Nerd."

 

 

**Saturday, the 11th of March**

 

Lexa woke up, sweat dripping down her forehead and the awful taste of sickness in her mouth. Her throat felt as dry as a desert and she could feel soreness in most of her muscles. One look across the dark room was enough for her to tell that it was still the middle of the night. She felt a sudden jerk under her throbbing head and realized she wasn’t entirely lying down on the couch but rather that her head was supported by someone's legs.

She squinted her eyes and in the darkness she faintly made out Clarke's peaceful face, “Clarke?” she whispered, trying to determine whether or not the woman was asleep.

No answer.

She tried pushing herself up but her arms were too weak. She huffed and felt bad when she realized her movements had woken up the woman beneath her.

“Where am I?” Clarke asked, rubbing at her eyes, “Why-” her eyes drifted down and she saw Lexa staring up at her with an apologetic look, “Lex?”

Lexa smiled but it turned into loud coughing and she turned on her side, placing her hand in front of her mouth.

Clarke's hand found its way back in her hair and she moved her fingers through messy brown hair, “You need to take some medication for that.” Clarke said sleepily, referring to the brunette's recurrent coughing.

“I don’t think I have any.” Lexa croaked out, “What time is it?” she asked.

Clarke grabbed her phone on the coffee table. She clicked her tongue and pushed on Lexa's shoulder when the woman tried to get up, “Lie down. It's one thirty in the morning. You need to get more rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“Shut up, you're not.” Clarke said, “And you can’t see it but I’m rolling my eyes at you.” 

Lexa smiled, “How much longer are you going to force me to lie still and do nothing?”

“For as long as necessary.” Clarke's hand moved up until it was resting on Lexa's forehead, “Seeing your fever, it could last some time.”

“You don’t have to stay. I can handle it on my own.” Lexa whispered, scowling at the burning feeling rushing through her irritated throat.

“Lexa.”

Lexa looked up, “What?” she said in a small, defeated voice.

“It’s the middle of the night. I’m not going anywhere right now. And I’m gonna stay tomorrow too, because you’re a stubborn asshole who doesn’t know how to take care of herself.”

“I take care...of myself just fine.” the mere act of speaking was looking to be difficult for the brunette whose eyes kept closing of their own accord.

“You’re pale as a ghost, you have bags the size of the earth under your eyes and you can’t keep your eyes open for more than ten seconds. You’re  _ not _ fine.” Clarke argued, “You would die if no one took care of you.”

“A bit extreme, don’t you think?”

“No.” Clarke said, “Now go back to sleep.”

“I don’t get bossed around.”

“Now you do. I’m doing this for your own good.” Clarke cleared Lexa's forehead of the hair blocking it and leaned down to slowly press her lips gently against it, “Sleep.” she said authoritatively.

Lexa smiled. She could still feel Clarke's lips on her forehead, even though they were now gone, “Okay.” she finally relented, letting her eyes fall shut, “You’re very beautiful.” she slurred sleepily.

Clarke smiled and decided she liked sick Lexa, “I’ll buy you some medicine tomorrow.”

Lexa hushed her, “I’m trying to sleep, Clarke.” she whispered, a smirk appearing on plump lips.

“Jerk.”

“Thank you.” 

Once Lexa had fallen back asleep, Clarke slowly moved from under her head, then grabbed a blanket. She froze when her leg bumped against the coffee table and it made a sudden noise. She waited unmoving for a few seconds, complete silence surrounding her, then relaxed when she noted that Lexa was still deeply asleep.

Slowly, she draped the blanket over Lexa's body, making sure it covered even the woman's feet. She smiled at the innocence on Lexa's face and her hand itched with the desire to reach out and brush her fingers over pale cheeks.

So she did.

She rested her hand against Lexa's cheek for a few seconds before pulling away and settling into the other couch, grabbing another blanket for herself.

“Goodnight, Lex.” she murmured, knowing she wouldn’t get an answer but wanting to say the words anyway.

 

**Sunday, the 12th of March**

 

“No.”

“Drink it.”

“No.”

“You’re so annoying, just drink it.”

“It tastes horrible.” 

Clarke sighed, “How do you even know that since you won’t even let it touch your lips?”

“Cause syrup always tastes horrible. Simple.” Lexa crossed her arms in front of her chest and pursed her lips when Clarke tried to push the spoon inside her mouth again.

“You’re a child.” Clarke said, “If you can drink your shit coffee, you can drink this too.”

“ _ Excuse you,  _ my coffee tastes  _ delicious _ .” Lexa argued, still not opening her mouth fully.

“It doesn't and you know it.”

“Yes it-  _ oomph” _ Lexa stopped speaking when Clarke shoved the spoon into her mouth.

“There you go, swallow everything.”

Lexa swallowed the liquid and smirked mischievously, “That's what she-”

“Don’t.”

“You’re boring.”

“Sure, I’m the boring one.” Clarke said, getting up to place the spoon away into the sink, “You'll have to drink a spoon of that tonight too.” she said from inside the kitchen.

“No.”

“Oh sorry, I guess it wasn’t clear enough that this wasn’t up for debate.” Clarke reappeared, a tissue in hand. She reached forward and wiped at the corner of Lexa's lip, “You have a little bit of syrup left right...here.” 

“I can wipe it myself.” Lexa grabbed the tissue and wiped at her mouth, looking at Clarke while doing so.

“Grumpy cat.” Clarke mumbled. She took the tissue from Lexa's hands and threw it away in the kitchen’s trash can, laughing when she heard the groans coming from the living room, “You okay there?”

“I. am.  _ great _ .” Lexa punctuated each word.

“You sound like it.”

“Shut up, Clarke.”

“You’d be dead without me, show some gratefulness.” Clarke reached up for the handle of the upper cupboard, she hummed, looking at the contents of it, “This will do.” she whispered to herself, grabbing a box of tea bags. She opened a few cupboards in search of a mug and smiled when she found one that was covered in a picture of Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones, “Nerd.” she thought out loud, filling the cup with hot water.

“What are you doing in there?” Lexa asked in a small voice.

“You’ll see.” 

“What? No.” 

Clarke heard some shuffling and she dropped the tea bag onto the kitchen island, then moved towards the door, “Don’t get up.” Clarke said, “You need to lie down. Let me handle things.”

Lexa huffed but complied, lying back down, “Can you at least tell me how long it’ll take you?”

“No more than thirty minutes.”

“That’s too long.” Lexa whined.

Clarke's lips curled upwards, “You become needy when you’re sick.” she commented, pulling a cupboard open and pulling out a frying pan. She reached for the necessary ingredients to make a small amount of pancakes and grabbed a big bowl.

“I’m not needy. I just don’t like not knowing what is happening. How long now?” 

“Twenty-nine minutes. Missing me that bad?”

She heard no reply for a few seconds, then Lexa's voice quietly rang through the room, “You’re not that important, Griffin.”

“And yet, without me you would most likely be famished and miserable right now.”

Lexa didn’t reply to this. She grunted and fell down on her back, breathing out a deep sigh.

It took fifteen more minutes for Clarke to finish cooking the pancakes. She placed three of them on a plate, along with the cup of tea, added a fork and a knife, then brought it over to the coffee table in front of Lexa before heading back to the kitchen to get some of the remaining pancakes for herself.

“Eat.” she told Lexa when she saw the woman had yet to touch her food.

Lexa crossed her arms in front of her chest and shook her head, “I’m not hungry.”

“You think you’re not but you are. You can’t just refuse to eat. I’m not letting you starve to death.”

Lexa eyed the fork for a few long seconds, eyes narrowed, then she slowly reached for it with her left hand, taking the knife in her right one, and dug into the meal, cutting through the pancakes and eagerly stuffing them inside her mouth, no longer bothering to hide her hunger.

“I thought you weren’t hungry.” Clarke smirked, looking down at the brunette.

Lexa didn’t reply, she lifted her eyes, stared blankly at Clarke for a few seconds, then shoved another piece of pancakes into her mouth, moaning around a mouthful of her breakfast.

After a couple minutes, she noticed Clarke had yet to join her to eat. She swallowed down the food she had in her mouth and patted the small space on the couch that wasn’t covered by her body, “Sit down.”

Clarke lowered her plate onto the coffee table and lifted Lexa's legs, sitting down, then placed them back on top of her thighs. It felt oddly domestic but neither wanted to say anything about it in fear of breaking the moment, in fear of making things awkward. 

After swallowing down the last bit of her pancakes and finishing her tea, Lexa quietly placed her cutlery on her plate, “Thank you.” she all but whispered.

The two words made Clarke feel very warm and happy, “You’re welcome.” she hurried to say before quickly piling up the empty plates, putting the cutlery on top, and bringing it all back to the kitchen, hoping to hide the faint pink coloring her cheeks.

Lexa saw it but kept silent, hiding her smile under the collar of her dress shirt. 

“You need to change into more comfortable clothes.” Clarke remarked, noting that Lexa was still in black jeans and a fully buttoned dress shirt.

“You too.” Lexa nodded towards Clarke who was in a knee length black dress, the outfit she had been planning on wearing for their date. The woman had disposed of her heels upon entering the apartment but it still didn't look like a comfortable outfit to sleep in.

“Oh, right.” Clarke laughed, “I don’t have anything to wear, though.”

“You can find something in my dresser, in the upstairs bedroom.”

“Thank you.” Clarke started walking towards the stairs.

“Clarke.”

“Hm?”

Lexa looked at her with an unreadable expression, “You look beautiful.” she coughed twice, “I’m sorry I didn't tell you earlier.”

Clarke's expression shifted from questioning to soft in a matter of seconds, “Technically you did.” she reminded but Lexa didn't seem to remember, so Clarke subtly shook her head and offered a thankful smile, “Thank you, Lexa.” 

“I'm glad you didn’t say that I looked good too because we both know that would have been a lie.”

Clarke laughed, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

 

\----------

 

Lexa wasn’t ready for how nice it would feel like to see Clarke in her clothes. The blonde had grabbed sweatpants and had thrown on an oversized sweater,  _ Lexa's favorite,  _ though Clarke couldn't have known that.

“That’s my favorite sweater.” Lexa simply said, bewildered and eyes filled with awe.

Clarke looked down at it and tugged at the material of the item of clothing, “Oh? Do you want me to get another or…?”

Lexa eagerly shook her head, “No. It looks good on you. Better than on me even.”

Clarke smiled, “Thanks.” 

Bashfully, the younger woman dropped some leggings and a sweatshirt in front of Lexa, telling her to change as well. The French teacher begrudgingly sat up, groaning in pain. She placed one hand over the overheated skin of her forehead and sighed, “This isn’t getting any better.” 

Clarke placed their foreheads together, “You’re hotter than before.”

“Thanks.” Lexa smirked, drawing a laugh from Clarke. 

“You're an idiot.” Clarke shook her head in amusement, “Do you have a thermometer somewhere?”

Lexa nodded, “Bathroom, on the top shelf of the white cabinet.” she croaked out, “Can I…”

“Yeah?”

“Can I also get some water?” the brunette asked, almost apologetically.

“Sure.” Clarke ran upstairs, she grabbed the thermometer, then filled a glass with water and returned by Lexa's side, “Here.” she handed the water to her… _ to her what? What was Lexa to her exactly? Her friend? No, that didn't sound right. Her girlfriend? They weren't there yet. _

She shook those thoughts away and helped Lexa lie back down, “I need to meet with Anya for lunch.” Lexa said.

“No way.”

“Griffin, I have to go.”

“I won’t let you. How many times do I have to tell you that you need to get some rest?”

“I did! I’ve been sleeping for at least ten

hours.” 

Clarke frowned and looked at Lexa in confusion, “Girl, that's not enough. You should stay home for at least the next couple days.”

“The next two days?!” Lexa repeated, “No, I have plans this weekend, I can’t stay at home.”

“Yes, you can. You have to.” Clarke pushed on Lexa's shoulders, “If you go outside, your health is only going to deteriorate further. You have a cold but this could turn into the flu if you’re not careful and then you’ll be stuck at home for a whole week. Don’t be reckless. Look, you still have fever.” she said as she looked at the beeping thermometer.

Lexa huffed, “You’re a pain in the ass.”

“I'm trying to take care of you.” Clarke brushed her thumb over the brunette's cheek, “So let me.”

Lexa stared into blue eyes for a few seconds before breathing out a sigh, “Can I at least grade my students’ papers?”

“No.”

Lexa's face contorted to one of indignation, “Oh, come on!” she threw her arms in the air, “What else am I supposed to do?”

Clarke smiled, “Tell you what, we’re gonna watch a movie, you and me.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes. Clarke thought she would argue again but she didn’t, “Which movie?” she asked instead.

“Whichever you want.” 

“Wonder Woman then.”

Clarke's lips stretched into a bright smile, “Good choice. Do you have it or should I search for the streaming version of it?”

Lexa looked at her hands, “I have it.” 

Clarke laughed at the quiet admission, “You’re not as badass and scary as you make yourself out to be, you know? You’re just a huge nerd.”

“Whatever, Griffin. Just put the damn movie on.” her infamous smirk made an appearance and she playfully pushed Clarke towards the dvd shelf with her foot.

“Did you just push me?”

Lexa played dumb, shrugging, “Don’t remember doing such a thing.” she yelped when Clarke straddled her and started tickling her sides, “S-Stop! My skin is super sensitive!” she managed to say through her laughter.

Clarke paused upon hearing the sound and she looked down at Lexa with fondness in her eyes, “You should really laugh more often.” 

Lexa swallowed deeply, wincing when it hurt her throat, “I'm not exactly known for being a very joyful person.”

“And yet, you laugh quite often when you’re around me. So what is the truth?”

“You’re different and you know that.” Lexa wouldn’t look at her colleague as those words left her lips.

Clarke hid her smile by ducking her head, feeling the heat of a blush creep up her neck, “Maybe...maybe once you feel better, we can go on that date?”

“Eager much?”

Clarke looked at her and didn’t bother denying her claims.

Lexa's lips parted upon seeing the look in Clarke's eyes and she chanced a timid smile, “I’d love to.” she replied, “Once I feel better.” she added, “Some girl has been annoying me lately about being too reckless when it comes to my health.”

_ “Some girl?”  _ Clarke repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Jerk.”

“Yeah.” Lexa smiled and grabbed a tissue to blow her nose, scowling at how irritated her nostrils had become, “I feel like shit.”

“I know.” Clarke grabbed the dvd from its case and put it inside the player, grabbing the remote on her way. It was ten minutes into the movie when Lexa started moving uncomfortably next to her on the couch, “What’s wrong?”

Lexa stilled, and directed her gaze towards her colleague, “Can you...do that again?”

“Do what again?”

“That thing with your hand...in my hair, that you did earlier…” Lexa's voice grew quieter the longer she spoke, “It felt nice…”

Clarke's confused expression shifted into an amused and endeared one, “Sure.” she whispered, “Just put your head in my lap.” she heard Lexa breathe a contented sigh as soon as her fingers touched the woman's scalp, “Don’t fall asleep on me.”

“I make no promises.” Lexa tiredly said.

“Okay.” Clarke laughed, really looking at the tv screen for the first time since the movie had started playing. 

Lexa ended up falling asleep twenty minutes into the movie and only woke up ten minutes before the end.

“I missed everything.” the French teacher rubbed at her eyes and yawned into her hand. Her hand blindly reached for Clarke's and she brushed her thumb over the blonde's knuckles, eyes fixed on the movie, “Is this okay?” she still asked, just in case.

“Yes.” Clarke replied, “Keep watching, it’s almost over.”

“Mmm…’kay.”

 

\-----------

 

“Hot chocolate? I’m not a child.”

Clarke glared at her, “I’ll have you know that I frequently drink hot chocolate.”

“Congrats on being a child.” Lexa deadpanned, “I’m not drinking it.”

“It will warm you up and might help you heal a bit, come on.” Clarke pushed the mug against sealed lips, “Lex, if you don’t open your mouth, you’ll just burn your lips, is that what you want?”

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, right.” Clarke scoffed, “Open up.” Lexa obliged, not without throwing a subtle glare in Clarke's direction, “Don’t look at me like that.” the blonde said, “I’m trying to help.”

Lexa carefully reached out for the mug of hot chocolate but Clarke clicked her tongue.

“Wait. On second thought, it’s still too hot. I have a better idea.” Clarke remarked, “Wait a second.” she disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a spoon, “Use this.”

Lexa relented, then reached again for her mug, blowing softly on the liquid, “Thank you, Clarke.”

“Finally.” Clarke smiled, “I thought you would never stop arguing.”

“I’m trying to make an effort.”

“Appreciated.” 

 

\-----------

 

Clarke grabbed the ringing phone on the coffee table, “Anya's calling you. Should I answer?”

Lexa groaned and covered her eyes with her right forearm, “Yeah..”

“Hello?”

_ “....Clarke?” _

“This is she.” Clarke said, “I’m with Lexa at the moment, what’s up?”

_ “You’re with Lexa?” _

Clarke hummed in answer.

_ “Why?” _

“She’s sick. I'm looking after her, well, I’m trying to. She’s a bit headstrong.”

_ “A bit?” _

Clarke laughed, “A lot.” 

She felt someone poke at her upper arm and snapped her head to the side, covering the mic with her free hand, “What?”

“I’m not that headstrong.”

Clarke’s eyebrow jumped up, “Oh really now?” she grinned, then placed the phone back against her ear, “Did you want to speak with Lexa?”

_ “I just wanted to know where she was. We were supposed to meet for lunch.” _

“She wanted to come but I told her she couldn't. I forgot to tell you, sorry.” Clarke apologised.

_ “Oh, okay. Does she want me to come by?”  _ Anya asked, her tone growing concerned.

Clarke arched an eyebrow in question and Lexa shook her head. One person looking after her was already too much, she didn't want to be any more of a bother.

“She said she’s fine. I think she just doesn't want you to bother. She barely even wants me here.” Clarke chuckled.

Those words hit Lexa. She did want Clarke here with her. She never meant to make the woman feel as if her presence was genuinely unwelcome. When Clarke hung up the phone, she reached out to grab the woman's hand.

“I do want you here.” she confessed, “I’m just shit at admitting it.”

“You’re shit at showing it too.” Clarke said in a light-hearted tone.

Lexa smiled tiredly, “Thanks for putting up with me.” she whispered before sneezing loudly, “Fuck…”

Clarke reached for the box of tissues and handed it to Lexa who mumbled a quiet thank you, “I’m warning you, once you’re back to health, I’m not letting you go outside without at least a scarf.”

“Okay, mom.”

Clarke punched her shoulder, “I’m trying to be nice. Don’t ruin it.”

Lexa tried to repress a smile but it was no use and soon, her lips were stretching to form a beautiful smile, much to Clarke's contentment.

 

_ \---------- _

 

The next three days, Clarke came back everyday and cooked for Lexa. They watched marathons of movies and even played some board games. Lexa was secretly happy to hear a knock on her door everyday because she knew who would be standing behind it everytime. 

On Monday, Clarke had only managed to come by in the late evening, after school and her skype session with her father had ended and Lexa had nearly let it slip that she had missed her during the day. It was now Tuesday night and they were both sitting down on the hard floor of Lexa's living room, playing a card game.

“You cheated.”

“I did not.”

“You  _ cheated.”  _ Lexa repeated, “You’re not even allowed to do that. You’re supposed to wait your turn and then you can put down your card.”

“That’s not how yu-gi-oh works.” 

“Yes, it is.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “No, it is  _ not.” _

Lexa pursed her lips, “Alright, then I guess you won’t mind me checking on the internet to prove to you that I’m right.”

“Go ahead.” Clarke leaned her back against the couch, then crossed her arms, arching her eyebrow as Lexa reached for her phone and opened an internet tab.

A couple minutes later, Lexa’s face lit up and she placed the phone in Clarke's line of vision, “I’m right, you’re wrong.”

“What?” Clarke frowned.

“You can  _ use  _ a trap card that is  _ already put face down on your side _ during your opponent’s turn but you can only put it down during  _ your _ turn, meaning you cheated.”

Clarke stared at the screen, bewildered.

“You chose the wrong person to mess with, Griffin. I’ve been playing this game ever since I was ten. And I’ve been winning it for that amount of time too.”

“Okay, fine. You were right. Happy?”

“Yes.” Lexa said, then coughed, “Now pick up your card and accept your defeat with dignity.”

“You get way too passionate about this.” Clarke grinned, watching as Lexa grabbed a marker and wrote down ‘LOSER’ next to Clarke's name on the paper they had used to keep track of their respective life points. The brunette then wrote ‘WINNER’ next to her own name.

“I do not play to lose, Griffin. Only weak people do.” 

“Oh, so now I’m weak?”

“Yes.”

“Remind me who’s the one who was so sick that she couldn’t cook for herself?” Clarke raised a knowing eyebrow.

“Well, of course, since you won't let me go anywhere near the kitchen.” 

Clarke huffed, “I’m doing this for your own good.”

“Well, maybe I know better what's good for me!” Lexa argued, growing agitated. She was frustrated that she was stuck at home, unable to go out and get some fresh air.

Clarke breathed deeply, sensing that the banter had gone from playful to something much more unpleasant and dangerous, “I don’t want to fight with you.” she started saying, “If you want to go out, feel free to do so, but I still think you should wait until you feel one hundred percent fine.”

Lexa's shoulders sagged and a sigh pushed past her lips, “I’m sorry for shouting at you.” she passed a hand through her own hair, “I’m just really tired and I feel like a prisoner in my own house right now.”

“I’m sure that by tomorrow you’ll feel better. Just be a bit more patient. Just a little longer.”

Lexa nodded. She stacked all the cards, then placed them on the coffee table, “It’s getting late.” she noted the darkness outside, “You can go back home, if you want.” she told Clarke as she busied herself with putting a cushion back on the couch.

“I’d like to stay a bit longer.”

Lexa felt a hand on her wrist and looked behind her, her breath catching in her throat when she realised how close Clarke was standing.

“Uh….yeah, sure!” she blurted out in a high-pitched voice.

Clarke chuckled and moved her right hand forward until her fingertips were hovering over Lexa's cheek, not quite touching it yet.

“Can I kiss you now?”

Redness spread through Lexa's face, from the bottom of her neck to the top of her cheeks, “I might be contagious.” she mumbled.

“Not anymore.” Clarke countered, “So what are you waiting for, Woods?” she raised a daring eyebrow.

“I, uh, if you want to, uh, y-yes.” Lexa stammered out, clenching her eyes right after, willing herself to disappear.

Clarke smiled and cupped both of Lexa's cheeks before leaning on the tip of her toes and finally kissing the lips she had been craving to kiss for the past four days. 

She couldn’t help but smile against Lexa's lips when she heard the barely repressed moan that made its way up her colleague’s throat just as she deepened the kiss. Without either of them really registering it, they ended up seated on the couch, Clarke on Lexa's lap and the brunette’s hands under the blonde’s shirt, roaming the skin of her back while pulling her closer.

“We should-” Lexa placed her hands on Clarke's shoulders, “We should slow down.” she finished saying.

“I don’t want to.” Clarke gripped at Lexa's shirt and tried pulling it over the woman's head but Lexa stopped her, gentle hand coming to rest on her forearms.

“Clarke.”

“What? You...you don't want this?” Clarke started pulling away but Lexa wrapped her arms around her waist.

“I do.” Lexa assured her, “I really do but I want to do this the right way and we haven’t even gone on that date yet...” 

Clarke nodded slowly, “I see.” she smiled warmly, “Didn’t think you’d be that kind of person.”

“What kind of person?” Lexa asked, her tone growing defensive despite herself.

“The chivalrous kind.” Clarke brushed her thumb over Lexa's cheeks, “Don’t act so defensive.” she laughed, “I wasn’t mocking you.”

Lexa's eyebrow furrowed, “It’s just human decency, not chivalry.”

“Nah, you’re a softie.” Clarke said before moving off her colleague’s lap, “I knew it. Always have.”

Lexa sighed, “You’re wrong.”

“Am not.” Clarke grabbed the blanket which had fallen from the couch and onto the floor, and she folded it before putting it back on the couch.

“It’s late.” Lexa said after the silence had stretched too long for her taste.

“What time is it?”

“Midnight.” 

Clarke's eyes widened, “Already? I thought it was way earlier! Shit, I have to get going before I miss the last bus.”

“You didn’t drive here?” Lexa frowned.

Clarke shook her head, “I figured I would only stay a couple hours but then…you were there and...anyway, I lost track of time, I’m sorry.”

Lexa wanted to hear what Clarke was going to say before she cut herself off but she refrained from asking, “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you outside alone at this hour.” she quietly said.

“It’s okay. I’ll just walk to the bus stop. What could possibly happen to me?”

“A lot of things.” Lexa picked at her short fingernails, “And my car is in repair right now so I can’t even drive you back.” she blew out a sigh, “You could stay here? I have a spare bedroom that I never use anyway and you can even use the shower, I also have a spare toothbrush and I could lend you some clothes and-”

“Lex.”

“What?” the brunette asked, cheeks reddening when she saw the amused smile on Clarke's lips.

“You were rambling.” Clarke shrugged, “It was cute.”

Lexa didn’t answer, save for a scowl on her lips. She pushed herself off the couch, “Anyway, I’m serious. You’re staying here.”

“Bossy.”

“Clarke.” Lexa said in a stern tone, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I assure you, I can handle myself. The bus stop is not that far.”

“It’s a ten minute walk!” Lexa argued, “And then what? You'll get off the bus and have to take another which might not arrive right away and then still have to walk  _ fifteen  _ minutes until you reach your house.”

“I can run.” Clarke shrugged.

“Clarke.”

“Really, Lexa. It’s kind of you but I’ve done it a few times already. It’s safe.”

“Clarke.”

“Lexa.”

“Do you think I'm joking with you right now?”

“Ha! That’s a trick question! You never actually joke with anyone.” Clarke smiled brightly as she walked towards the front door.

Lexa wasn’t amused. She was worried, “Griffin, don’t you even dare go outside alone at this hour.”

Clarke turned on her heels and took long strides until she was standing in front of Lexa, “It’s very considerate of you but it’s okay.”

Lexa shook her head, “You leave me no choice.” she bent her knees and lifted Clarke into a bridal hold before the woman could even react, drawing a sound of surprise from the English teacher. She carried her upstairs, “There are some clothes in the bottom left drawer. There is no bathroom in this room, it is right down the hall, and if you ever need anything, knock on my door.” she finished saying as she lowered Clarke onto a bed.

Clarke's lips stretched into a beautiful smile, “You really don't need to do all this. I mean, you don’t really care about having a clear conscience, do you?”

“I’m not doing this just to have a clear conscience, Clarke.” Lexa sighed, “Maybe it’s a weird thing to hear and I know that’s not how it looks like at times but I care about you so would you please let me make sure you stay safe?”

Clarke was at loss for words. Her mind couldn’t find anything to say, save for a very quietly uttered  _ thank you, Lexa. _

“You’re welcome.” Lexa nodded once, “Oh, and the toothbrush is in the upper cupboard of the bathroom. You can use my toothpaste.”

Lexa left without another word, retreating to the other bedroom. Clarke stood in the space, unmoving, for a few seconds, trying to hold in an ear-splitting smile. Spoiler: she failed.

 

\-----------

 

Clarke was settling into the bed, drying her hair with a towel, when she heard a soft knock on her door, “Come in.” she quietly said.

A small creaking sound resonated through the room as the door was pushed open, “Hey, were you busy?”

Clarke shook her head, “Nope. I was about to go to bed.” she sat up on the bed, “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, no.” Lexa shook her head, “I guess nothing's wrong.” she suddenly grew silent and Clarke could tell she was deep in thought.

“Lex?”

“Hm?”

“Did you need something?” Clarke chuckled at the expression on Lexa's face. She looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“It's gonna sound stupid if I say it now.”

“Say it anyway.”

Lexa's eyes didn’t leave the floor as she spoke, “I realised I hadn’t wished you a goodnight so….goodnight.” 

Clarke's heart jumped, threatening to break free from her ribcage, “Goodnight, Lexa.” she murmured.

Lexa gave a single nod of her head, then carefully pulled the door to a close, letting the room fall back into silence. Clarke finished drying her hair, and settled beneath the warm covers of the bed. 

She hummed at how comfortable the bed was, much more than her own now that she thought about it.  _ Should she buy a new mattress? That would be a good investment. _

She closed her eyes and smiled to herself. The entire house smelled like Lexa, she noted. She buried her nose into the pillows and was disappointed to realise that they didn’t wear that same scent. It made sense since this was only a spare room and it was probably rarely used.

Long minutes went by and Clarke couldn’t find sleep for some reason. She tossed and turned until she grew tired of it and decided to get herself a glass of water before trying to find sleep again.

“Ouch!” she exclaimed, feeling pain shooting through her foot from where her toe had bumped into the corner of a piece of furniture, “Fuck.”

She quietly made her way through the living room, squinting her eyes to see in the darkness, until she reached the kitchen. She gasped at the coldness of the kitchen floor on her bare feet and searched blindly for the light switch with her hand.

“Clarke?” 

She froze.

“Nooooo.” she replied, her hand still hovering over the light switch, or what she assumed was the light switch.

“If you want to turn on the lights, it’s on your left.” 

Clarke brushed her hand over the wall until it made contact with the light switch, she pressed on it and winced when bright light invaded her vision.

“Did you need something?” Lexa asked, rubbing at her eyes.

“A glass of water?” Clarke said, smiling bashfully.

Lexa nodded and opened the upper cupboard, reaching up to grab a glass. Her shirt moved up as she did so, revealing a toned stomach, defined abs, and perfect skin. Clarke's eyes drifted down and she wanted to shout in frustration when the area was covered by the shirt once again.

She barely registered that she was being handed the glass of water, “Th-Thank you.” she stuttered.

“I’ll be in my room if you need anything else.” Lexa said before sleepily walking back to her bedroom, a bonus blanket in hand.

Clarke hesitated only for a few seconds before pushing Lexa's door open, “Lex?”

“Yes?” 

“Can I sleep with you?” her eyes widened as she finished formulating her question, “I mean, sleep as in just sleeping, you know, nothing…nothing else.” 

“Why?”

Clarke sighed, “I can’t fall asleep right now. I don’t know why but it’s frustrating me soooo…”

“And you think you would sleep better here?” Lexa asked, already moving to one side of the bed and arranging the pillows so that they would each get two.

“I guess.”

Lexa looked at her expectantly when Clarke still wasn’t moving from her position at the threshold, “Well? Get over here.” 

Clarke jumped into action, “Oh, okay!” she lifted the covers and slipped under, “Thank you.” 

“...You’re welcome?”

“Your mattresses are so much comfier than mine back at home, it’s not fair.” Clarke whined, moving on the mattress to find THE most comfortable position to sleep in.

Lexa looked at her quizzically, “They’re pretty average actually. Yours must simply be mediocre.”

“I won’t even argue with that.”

Silence fell onto the room and the minutes stretched. Clarke was fairly certain Lexa had fallen asleep by now and she couldn't get herself to do the same. She chanced a glance to her side and startled when she saw that Lexa was already looking back at her.

“You’re not asleep.” Lexa pointed out, “What’s bothering you?” she asked in a sleepy voice.

Clarke's mouth opened and closed a few times, “I don’t know.” she whispered, “I haven't had any insomnia in the last three weeks. I don’t get it.”

“You need to shut down that brain of yours a little. You’re thinking too much.” Lexa murmured, battling to keep her eyes open.

“You’re one to talk.”

“I’m not the one with insomnia right now.” Lexa spoke in a low and soft voice. 

Clarke's hand slid across the mattress until her fingers tentatively brushed against Lexa's. She expected Lexa to pull away swiftly but the other woman grabbed her hand more confidently.

“Get some sleep.” Lexa murmured before closing her eyes once more, “And if you still can’t, there might be some herbal thing against insomnia in the bathroom cabinet. Not sure that would be of much use, though.”

Clarke sighed softly and closed her eyes. Her eyes snapped open and she nearly jerked her hand back out of reflex when she felt Lexa's thumb draw a circle on her hand. She wondered for a second if it was unintentional but realised it wasn’t when Lexa repeated the action mere seconds later. Clarke's heartbeat quickened at the simple action and a smile drew itself on her lips.

She spent long seconds staring at Lexa's peaceful expression, admiring each line and curve of the woman's face. The sound of Lexa's whispered words made her jump slightly.

“Stop staring.”

“I can't help it.” Clarke whispered back. She noticed the beginning of a smirk tugging at one corner of Lexa's mouth, “Don’t look so smug.”

“You keep giving me a reason to.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and rolled around on the bed, “Goodnight, Lexa.” 

She heard light chuckling behind her, followed by the sound of movement against the sheets. Before she could fully register it, an arm was placed around her waist and she could feel the press and the warmth of a body against her back.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she stayed unmoving for a few seconds, holding her breath.

“Don’t be so stiff.” Lexa whispered, “It’s nothing we haven’t done before.” 

“Since when do you even like cuddling?”

Lexa stayed silent for a moment, “I don’t.”

“Then why-”

“Shh…” Lexa hushed her, nose buried in a mane of disheveled blond hair, “You ask too many questions when you should be trying to sleep instead.”

Clarke finally relaxed into the embrace and she placed her hand on top of Lexa's, over her own stomach, “You could just admit you like cuddling, you know. Everyone does, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Well, I don’t.” Lexa quipped, “Not usually.” she added more quietly.

Clarke's face flushed and lit up, “I feel honored.” she sleepily said.

“As you should.” Lexa whispered and the far away tone of her voice indicated that she was close to falling asleep, “Thank you for taking care of me this past week.” 

“Anytime.” Clarke squeezed Lexa's hand, feeling it go limp the second Lexa slipped into unconsciousness.

Clarke slowly shifted on the bed, rolling around so that she was facing Lexa once again. She moved slowly and carefully as to not wake up the other woman. Her eyes scanned the brunette’s face and she felt a rush of happiness course through her.

Ever so cautiously, she scooted closer to Lexa and snuggled into her, considerably reducing the space between them. The only sounds filling the room were those of their breathing. Buried in the warmth of Lexa's body, it only took a few minutes for Clarke to fall asleep.

 

 

 


	14. As long as I'm with you

 

**_Wednesday, the 15th of March_ **

 

Lexa's eyes fluttered open and she jerked awake when she saw how close Clarke was to her, blue eyes looking back at her intently, “Shit!” she exclaimed, moving away and clutching at her chest, “Jesus, Griffin. You scared the shit out of me.”

Clarke's lips formed a smile before a light laugh echoed through the room, “Sorry.” she quietly apologised, pushing herself up on her elbows.

Lexa grabbed the cover, pulling on it to hide her bare legs underneath it. Clarke noticed but stayed quiet on it. She gave Lexa a curious look but the woman wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“I should go.” Clarke said after clearing her throat, “I’ve invaded your space long enough.” she said, already walking towards the closed door to retrieve her stuff from the guest room, “Thanks for letting me stay.” 

“Thanks for not being an idiot and for staying instead of walking back home in the dark.”

“I would have been safe.” Clarke defended.

Lexa gave her a long look, “You don’t know that.” she calmly replied, playing with the folds in the covers, “This neighbourhood might look safe during daytime but it is much different when the dark settles in.”

“What’s the worst that could happen, honestly? All your neighbours are over eighty years old.”

“Not all of them, Clarke.” Lexa glanced up and passed a hand through her disheveled hair, “I do not wish for you to be harmed in any way. Is that so hard to understand?”

Clarke was left gaping, lost for words, “I-, well, no.” she stammered out, feeling her cheeks heat up under Lexa's watchful gaze, “I should go.”

“Sure.”

Clarke turned on her heels but Lexa's voice calling her stopped her, “What?” she asked.

“Your clothes.”

Clarke's brow furrowed, then it dawned on her. She was still wearing the pyjamas she had borrowed from Lexa the night before, “Right.”

“I placed your clothes on a chair in the living room. You can change in the guest room or the bathroom, whichever you prefer.”

Clarke nodded and as she picked up her clothes and hurriedly dressed up, she wondered why this felt strangely like a walk of shame. Clarke Griffin did not do walks of shame. 

Before leaving the apartment, she knocked on the door of Lexa's bedroom, “I’ll see you at school?” 

“Yes, you will.” Lexa offered a curt nod, eyes fleeing and hands clasped together.

“...Okay.” Clarke all but whispered, closing the door quietly, “What the fuck.” she said to herself as she descended the stairs of the brunette’s apartment building.

Had she stuck around for a bit longer, she might have been able to see the conflict and fear in Lexa's eyes.

 

\----------

 

Clarke jumped when someone unexpectedly tapped on her shoulder, “Yes?” she said in an unusually high-pitched voice.

She couldn’t help the stab of disappointment at seeing Niylah standing in front of her. She expected someone else.

“Can we talk?”

Clarke's hesitation was obvious on her features, “Why?”

“Please?”

Clarke sighed and followed after Niylah after giving a single nod of agreement, “Okay.” she took a seat across the table, in front of the other woman, “What did you want to talk about?”

Niylah’s eyes fell to the table, “I have to apologise.” she all but mumbled.

“Wh-”

“Let me finish, please.” Niylah lifted her hand, then lowered it back on the table, “I reacted poorly the other day. I saw you with Lexa and I-” she huffed, “I let my jealousy get the best of me. I should have realised sooner that I didn’t stand a chance. I blamed you because I wanted to believe it wasn’t my fault. So, I’m sorry.”

Clarke's jaw dropped in shock. She did  _ not  _ expect that, “Well, I appreciate it.” she said earnestly, “And, Lexa and I aren’t together. I know she wouldn’t want people to start talking about whatever it is that we do so if you could maybe keep it quiet for now, that'd be great.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Niylah agreed, “But you’re really not subtle so people will figure it out eventually.” with that, the woman rose from her seat and left without another word.

Clarke frowned.  _ Not subtle?  _ What is that supposed to mean? If she herself hadn’t been able to figure out that Lexa had feelings for her, how come other people had? It wasn’t like Lexa was very expressive about it. She wasn’t that oblivious, was she?

_ Speak of the Devil _ , Clarke thought, catching a short glimpse of Lexa pushing her way past a couple older teachers to get to a table. The woman pulled out a book from her messenger bag and flipped a few pages before leaning back comfortably in her chair.

Clarke tried to make a stealthy escape but when she briefly glanced up, she caught Lexa looking at her questioningly, amusement dancing in her eyes and the ghost of a smile on her lips. Clarke waved quickly before dashing out of the room.

Things were officially awkward.

Lexa's mood in the morning had been so different from the night before and Clarke didn’t know what to make of it. She was no psychic and Lexa was harder to read than most people. The brunette’s behaviour had shifted very quickly and now she seemed back to normal but Clarke couldn’t be entirely sure.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and jumped, “Jesus.” 

“You get frightened very easily.” Lexa said in an all too composed voice.

“Only noticing this now?” Clarke asked, turning on her heels, “Hey.” she said, guarded.

Lexa stared at her in contemplative silence for a few seconds that stretched into one long minute. Clarke almost laughed nervously, shying away under the other woman's watchful gaze.

Lexa cleared her throat and grabbed her book with both hands, staring down at it as she spoke, “I’m sorry about this morning.”

“Sorry about what?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Come on, don’t make me say it. You know already.”

“I wasn’t sure.” Clarke shrugged. She stared into green eyes for long seconds before opening her mouth again, “If you don’t mind me asking, why did your behavior change like that? I thought…” Clarke bashfully lifted her shoulders, then let them sag down again, “I thought it was going well…”

“It was.” Lexa said, dying to reach for Clarke's hand but using her self-restraint to keep her hands to herself. They were still standing in the hallway after all, away from prying ears but not out of students’ sight, “It  _ is _ .” she added when she saw a hint of disappointment in Clarke's eyes, “I haven’t done this in a while.” a defeated sigh pushed past her lips.

“Me neither.” Clarke reminded her, “We’re in the same boat. Why is it I’m not freaking out but you are?  _ Constantly _ …”

“....” Lexa sunk her teeth in her bottom lip and she looked up for half a second before clenching her eyes, “...I just-” she sighed, “After Costia, I’m scared of getting my heart broken a second time.” she shrugged weakly, knowing it was a poor excuse, one that was partly true but she could not keep blaming her past on her present actions.

Clarke's face lost its questioning look, replaced by the usual softness and understanding in her eyes, “Follow me.” she said gently before entering an empty classroom.

Lexa ducked her head and clasped her hands together as she followed suit quietly, tangling and untangling her fingers. She quietly pushed the door closed and lifted her gaze to see Clarke standing a few feet away, arms crossed but eyes gentle, “Are we always going to end up in semi dark classrooms to talk?” Lexa tried to joke but it fell flat.

Clarke ignored it, “We’ve had this conversation before…” she sighed, “I’m not Costia.” she all but murmured, in a soft yet urgent tone.

“I know.” Lexa said because she  _ knew  _ that. Clarke was thoughtful, patient, compassionate, and altogether perfect. Even her flaws were attractive to Lexa. Every little characteristic that she would have thought to be infuriating on another person just made her fall deeper and deeper for Clarke. She tried to make sense of it but she couldn’t and her pragmatic self was just begging to find an explanation that was rational. 

Lexa didn’t know how to unwind, how to let things flow. She had lived her whole life being cautious, calculating her every move and always thinking ahead. She had hated surprises for as long as she could remember. She hated the unpredictable. 

And Clarke was exactly that.

Clarke was unpredictable. She was unpredictable but in the most beautiful way. She was spontaneous in a way that Lexa had never managed to be. And Lexa wanted to drown in her eyes and throw to the bin every remaining bit of rational thinking. She wanted to jump without fear, with the full knowledge that Clarke would be there to secure her fall.

“I don’t wish you any hurt.” Clarke tore her away from her thoughts.

“I know.” Lexa bounced on her heels, looking small despite being taller than Clarke. Her heart rate spiked up when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Clarke moving closer.

“Look at me, please.” Clarke reached up with her hand to grab Lexa's chin gently and direct green eyes towards herself, “I’m not here to hurt you. And I understand you feel scared but give me a chance.” she whispered the last part, “Please.”

Lexa's eyes were reluctant, afraid even. One look into cerulean eyes would be enough to silence her brain. Lexa Woods never stopped thinking but right now, with a gentle hand caressing the side of her face and the silent promise of sincerity in blue eyes, she wanted to do anything but think. 

She wasn't a risk taker. Far from it. And Clarke was a risk, the biggest of them all if Lexa was being truthful with herself. That's what made her so dangerous. She had the power to completely destroy Lexa if she wanted to. 

“I want to believe that.” she finally spoke, quietly as ever, “I really do.” 

“But you can’t.” Clarke completed.

“I can’t stop  _ thinking.” _ Lexa lamented, pressing her hand against her forehead in frustration, as if searching for an off button to her overheated brain.

Clarke moved even closer and suddenly, she had both hands on Lexa's cheeks, “Let me teach you then.”

Lexa's mind was racing with millions of thoughts. It all vanished the second she felt Clarke's lips against her own, slow and gentle. Before she could fully surrender herself to the kiss, it was over. Clarke's lips were gone, her warmth still present however.

Lexa opened her eyes slowly and noted, with a relief which she couldn’t yet comprehend fully, that Clarke was still standing close, so close that a simple tilt of her head would bring their lips together once more. All thoughts of doing that left Lexa's mind when Clarke started speaking.

“I don’t know how exactly to prove to you that my intentions are sincere but I can try. I just need you to let me try.”

Lexa didn’t understand the sudden rush of emotions that coursed through her. It took her a few seconds to register that she was crying. Tears were rolling down her cheeks in a seemingly endless flow and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

“I want to stop being like this.” she murmured.

“Like what?” Clarke asked in a gentle whisper, her thumbs brushing away Lexa's tears.

“Scared.” Lexa's voice cracked on the single word.

It was silent for a few seconds. Then, Clarke leaned forward and connected their foreheads. The act felt incredibly intimate, “You won’t look me in the eyes. Is it because you’re scared of what I might see?”

Lexa’s mouth fell open, “I don’t know.” she admitted.

“I want you to look at me.” Clarke added, opening her own eyes, searching for green ones, “To  _ really _ look at me.”

Glassy green eyes rose and met Clarke's. She expected to see pity. She expected to see confusion. What she did not expect to see, however, was a deep understanding and infinite tenderness.

“Now…” Clarke started, her tongue darting out to lick at her lips, “On Friday, I’m taking you on a date.” she whispered, “Because I want to do this right too and because you deserve nothing but the best.”

Clarke could see the disbelief in green eyes and she cupped Lexa's cheeks before getting on the tip of her toes to press a lingering kiss on the brunette's forehead.

Lexa's breath hitched. The gesture felt too intimate and she felt suddenly overwhelmed. Her tears hadn’t really stopped flowing and she was having a hard time keeping all her emotions at bay.

“You scare me too.” Clarke admitted.

“Why?”

“Because I have never felt like this about anyone else.” she smiled, “But I see this as a good thing. I don’t want to run from something like this, something that could turn into a very beautiful story.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded, “I really like you.” 

Before Lexa could even utter a reply, the door opened and Pike came inside the room, making the two women jump apart, “And then- oh sorry!” he apologised. His smile turned into a wry smirk, “Did I interrupt something?” he asked, a perverted edge to his words.

“No.” Lexa replied in a clipped tone, the gentleness and tenderness of the previous moment long gone, “You interrupted nothing.” she said in a low voice. She grabbed Clarke's hand and pulled her out of the room, ignoring Pike’s smirk and the confused look on Nia Queen’s face, making sure Clarke was shielded from their view the entire time.

Clarke smiled as she was dragged across the school by a very unamused Lexa, the woman determined to get them as far away from Pike as possible. She loved seeing Lexa's protective side.

“Well, he kinda broke the moment there.” Clarke joked to lighten up the mood, seeing how Lexa's mood had turned sour.

“And completely objectified you.” the brunette muttered.

“You and I.” Clarke corrected, “He objectified the both of us.”

Lexa grumbled and crossed her arms in front of her chest, turning on her heels when they had reached the other end of the hallway which was currently empty, “Even worse.”

“I know.” Clarke sighed. She looked down at her watch and pursed her lips in disappointment.

She looked around them and noted they were indeed alone. She got on the tip of her toes and with the lightest touch under Lexa's chin, she brought their lips together, “I have to grade some tests before eighth period but I’ll see you after school is over.” 

“I can go with you.” Lexa cursed herself for sounding so eager, “Because technically, my next class is in two hours and I don't really feel like going back home.” she tried to explain.

“You want to be stuck in a room for two hours watching me while I’m grading some papers that students probably half-assed anyway?”

Lexa nodded, “As long as I’m…” she seemed to hesitate to finish her sentence, “...with you.” she finished almost silently. She felt she could breathe again when she saw the blinding smile on Clarke's lips.

Clarke blushed slightly and she linked her fingers with Lexa, “Come on then.” she led them down the hallway, up the stairs and into her designated classroom.

 

\------------

 

“Have you seen Lexa?” Anya asked to yet another one of her colleagues who shrugged and shook her head in answer, “You’re all useless.” Anya mumbled before skipping the stairs until she reached the second floor.

She inspected each room, looking through the small window, until she spotted Clarke inside one of them. She was about to enter the room when her eyes caught something else.

Lexa's head was buried in her crossed arms, resting on the desk, and she looked to be asleep. What caught Anya’s attention was the way Clarke's fingers were currently tracing slow circles on Lexa's scalp, occasionally stopping to brush loose strands of hair behind Lexa's ear.

Her fist which had been raised to knock on the door suddenly fell back to her side, unclenching. She figured she’d let them have this moment. And if it helped Lexa realise the depth of her feelings for Clarke, then it was beneficial to everyone. 

Silently, Anya walked back downstairs, smiling to herself and committing into memory that she would need to have a talk with Clarke one of these days. To fulfill her duty as Lexa's friend. She would have her back just like Lexa always did for her.

 

\-----------

 

Clarke clicked her pen and stored it in her pen case, her fingers never moving from where they were tangled in brown curls. Lexa had fallen asleep about thirty minutes after she had started grading the papers. Clarke had moved some hair away from Lexa's face and decided to just keep her right hand there after, writing with her left one. She only really needed one hand to grade the papers after all.

She had been pleasantly surprised by the unconscious sounds of contentment that Lexa made in her sleep. Now, however, eighth period was approaching and they would both need to head to their respective classrooms.

Carefully and ever so gently, she shook Lexa awake, “Wake up.” she whispered, watching as eyelashes fluttered open, revealing sleepy green eyes.

“What?” Lexa croaked out almost in a whisper, still not fully awake.

“You fell asleep.”

Lexa frowned, as if that was odd. In a way, it was. She never fell asleep on the job, or in public in general. It surprised her once again the level of trust she had when it came to Clarke.

“We went full circle here, didn’t we?”

Lexa sent her a questioning gaze, tilting her head on her still crossed arms.

Clarke smiled and ran her thumb in the crease between Lexa's brows, “Remember when I was the one who fell asleep while grading papers? And you were the one to wake me up?”

Lexa smiled and in a rush of boldness, she took hold of Clarke's hand and pressed a kiss on her index finger, “How could I forget?” 

“I never thought you’d be like this.” Clarke admitted in a soft whisper, barely disturbing the quiet of the room.

“Like what?” Lexa lifted her gaze while her thumb kept tracing circles over Clarke's finger.

“Romantic and a gentlewoman.” 

Lexa scoffed, “You underestimated me.”

“I’m starting to realise that, yeah.” Clarke said, her lips pulled in a soft smile, “I like it, though.”

“You better.” 

Clarke laughed, “Or what?”

Lexa arched a perfect eyebrow, “Is that a challenge, Miss Griffin?” she asked slowly, the words rolling smoothly off her tongue.

Clarke's lips fell open when she heard the tone of Lexa's voice and she clenched her thighs, “What if it is?” she flirted back.

“Then I would have you know that I never back down from a challenge.” Lexa said in a voice that had Clarke's breathing quicken.

Clarke swallowed heavily, “Me neither.” 

They held each other's gaze for long, heavy seconds, the tension growing with each moment that passed by, and just when Clarke thought Lexa would do something about it, the woman got up, grabbed her messenger bag, and lifted it onto her shoulder.

Lexa leaned down until her lips were nearly brushing Clarke's, “You have a lesson to give in five minutes. You don't want to be late.”

Clarke lost herself in the forest that were Lexa's eyes and she gave a ridiculously high-pitched sound of protest when Lexa moved away. The sound caused Lexa's eyebrows to shoot up, the woman happy to see that her little show had the desired effect.

“I’ll see you later, Griffin.” Lexa left with a teasing wink, purposely lingering by the door a second longer than necessary.

“Fuck.” Clarke breathed out when she was alone once more. How was it that Lexa could switch her demeanor so quickly? One minute she was being gentle and sweet, the next she was oozing confidence and attractiveness.

She was a paradox in the form of a human being. A complete enigma.  And Clarke was dying to crack the code.

 

**Thursday, the 16th of March**

 

Anya narrowed her eyes when she spotted Lexa in the back of the teachers' lounge. Her eyes were still narrowed when she took a seat in front of her best friend and they remained that way until Lexa threw her a questioning look.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Anya slammed both hands on the table abruptly, startling the two teachers who were quietly working and drinking coffee at the table beside them. Most of the contents in the cup of the man ended up on his shirt and Lexa tried to hide her snickers behind her hand when he stomped past them, grumbling something indecipherable under his breath.

Anya’s eyes, however, were still trained on her, staring intensely, to the point that it was getting uncomfortable.

“Okay, what's your deal?”

Anya squinted her eyes, “Two words.” she lifted two fingers, “Clarke Griffin.”

Lexa's heart jumped at the mention of her name and she mentally cursed herself for being the biggest lesbian this Earth had ever seen, “What about her?” she asked in a collected voice, trying to play it cool.

“You are in love with her.”

Lexa stared at her in silence before exploding in laughter, “Okay, that’s funny. I didn’t know you had it in you.” the brunette said, getting up to get herself a cup of coffee.

“Lexa.” Anya said with authority, “I’m being serious right now.”

Lexa’s smile fell and she sat back down, telling herself she'd get coffee at a later time, “Anya, I’m not in love with Clarke.”

“But there is something there!” Anya insisted, “You can’t tell me I’m wrong.”

Lexa sighed, “Okay, no. You’re not wrong but-” 

“I knew it!”

“Anya.” Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose, “That’s not news. I already told you that I...like her.”

“Don’t make it sound so shameful to say it.” Anya rolled her eyes.

“I’m not ashamed of my feelings.” Lexa stated confidently, “It’s just weird to say it out loud to someone other than Cl-” she suddenly stopped speaking, realising her mistake.

She clenched her eyes at the look of understanding on Anya's face and braced herself for her reaction and the onslaught of questions that were sure to come her way.

“You-” Anya clasped a hand over her mouth, “Holy shit, you told Griffin you liked her?! Damn, I didn’t know you had it in you. How did she react?”

“I’m not telling you anything else.”

“Oh yes you are. Because I have been waiting ten long months for this moment. Tell me everything.”

Lexa sighed, knowing it was a lost battle to try and argue with Anya, “We...we kissed.”

Anya's smile and eyes grew, “Finally. When did it happen?”

“Well, the first time was-”

“ _ The first time?!”  _ Anya repeated, “Meaning there were  _ multiple  _ times? Now, you have to tell me all of it.”

Lexa wanted to laugh at how eager her usually unamused best friend looked at the moment but quickly sobered up when she realised recounting their first kiss would mean telling Anya about Jake’s accident and she didn’t know whether Clarke would want others to know.

“The circumstances don’t matter but she kissed me and I kind of ran away after cause I thought she wasn’t thinking clearly and then she called me a coward  _ -well, she didn’t use those words but still-  _ and she kissed me again and now we’re going on a date...I think.”

Anya low-whistled, “It took you some time, kid. I’m glad you finally got there. And Clarke is an amazing person, just so you know.”

“I  _ know. _ ” Lexa insisted, “She’s…so  _ kind _ and  _ understanding. _ ” she said, looking down at the table, making wide hand gestures, “I’ve never met anyone quite like her. And then she’s also so stubborn and has this fire in her that I admire  _ so much. _ And she’s good with people, better than I could ever hope to be. Did you know she worked a part time job in her sophomore year of high school even though it meant no free time for her, just so she could pay a one month trip for her parents’ wedding anniversary? Because it was their dream but her mom was still doing her residency and her father couldn’t afford to leave work at the time due to money issues. Now her mother is a surgeon and she makes one hell of a living but it wasn’t always the case apparently and I just think she’s  _ so  _ brave. Sometimes, when I look at her, I see the kind of person I can only hope to be and I feel like she makes me a better person. I’m a better person when I’m around her and she has no idea how amazing she is and that’s the craziest part. She so  _ selfless. _ ”

Lexa had been so wrapped up in her rant that she hadn’t even noticed Clarke enter the room. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to meet blue eyes looking down at her with such softness.

“Shit.” she whispered mostly to herself but Clarke heard it anyway, “How...How much of that did you hear?”

Clarke smiled, “All of it, I think.”

Lexa threw a glare in Anya's direction, “Why didn't you tell me she was behind me?”

Anya threw her an apologetic look, “Well, when I noticed her, it was too late…”

Clarke placed a hand on Lexa's shoulder and that’s when Lexa noticed how flushed her cheeks looked, “That is quite okay, Lexa. I’m very touched that you think of me like that, though I fail to understand why.”

Anya cleared her throat and rose from her seat, “I feel like I’m intruding so I’ll leave you to it.” she gestured for Clarke to take the seat she previously occupied and the blonde did so silently.

“Lex?”

Lexa's fingers were tapping nervously on the table, her mind running fast, “I didn’t mean for you to hear all of that. I don’t even know where that came from, I’m sorry.”

Clarke reached out and took Lexa's trembling hand in her own, “Why are you apologising? I loved every single word you said. I-” she licked her lips and stared at their joined hands, “No one has ever spoken so highly of me.”

Lexa's brow furrowed, “I don’t believe that.” 

Because she really didn't. It wasn’t conceivable to her that an ethereal person such as Clarke hadn’t been complimented like that in the past. That no one had ever taken the time to truly appreciate Clarke's inner beauty, which was just as great and magnificent as her outer beauty.

“It’s the truth.” Clarke shrugged, “I mostly get cat called by guys, if I’m being honest, which…not really flattering...”

Lexa frowned and reached for Clarke's hand, her eyes staring off into space angrily, though her thumb was tracing gentle circles on Clarke's.

Whenever she heard about Clarke's past unpleasant experiences with men, or even women sometimes, she felt a knot form in her stomach and deep-seated anger bubbling up inside. Most importantly, she wished she could help somehow and the frustrating realisation that she couldn’t made her feel worse.

“Hey, where did you go?” Clarke asked, squeezing Lexa's hand to catch her attention.

“Hm? What?” 

“You spaced out a little. What’s in that pretty head of yours?”

“You.” Lexa replied spontaneously.

Clarke's lips pulled into a smile and she leaned closer on the table, smirking when she noticed the way Lexa's eyes dipped down to her cleavage before snapping up, a blush covering the tip of the woman's ears.

“You can stare, I don't mind.” 

“W-What?” Lexa stumbled on her words, “I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to-”

“Check me out?” Clarke completed as she raised a teasing eyebrow, “Lex, why do you think I wore this shirt today?”

“Because you feel good in it?” Lexa asked more than replied.

“Yes, but also because I know I look good in it and there is a special someone I’ve been trying to impress for a few weeks now.”

“A special someone?” Lexa repeated, a smile appearing on her lips, “Do I need to fight anyone for your affection?”

“Oh, you don’t want to fight her. She’s pretty athletic. Muscles everywhere, you know. And she has a back tattoo sooo, tough competition.”

Lexa laughed to herself and dragged her fingers down Clarke's forearm, “Seems like you already know what you want.”

“I’m pretty sure I do, yeah.” Clarke smiled and had they not been surrounded by colleagues, she would have leaned forward to steal a kiss from pillowy lips.

“Just so you know, I would never try to disrespect you in any way.”

“I know that, Lex.”

The use of her nickname had more effect on Lexa than she cared to admit and she felt her cheeks heat up. Clarke's hand moved away and with it, disappeared the warmth. Lexa wanted to protest, to take Clarke's hand back in her own but she was interrupted when a woman who seemed their age, with hazel eyes and auburn hair took a seat in front of Lexa.

The woman had grabbed the chair, turned it around and sat on it, one leg on each side, like one would sit on a horse. She was resting her arms on the back of the chair, her whole body angling forward, towards Lexa. She oozed confidence and charm.

“Hi.” she said in a raspy voice, “I’m Aubrey, the new PE teacher. I thought I’d introduce myself since I’ll be here for the rest of the year.” she offered a flirtatious smile as she extended her hand.

Lexa took the offered hand and gave a smile of her own, though hers was less friendly and more cautious, “Lexa Woods.” she introduced herself.

“So you’re the one everyone has been warning me about.” Aubrey said in a low voice, her eyes never leaving Lexa's, “You’re quite a popular girl around here.”

Lexa wanted to scoff. Most teachers hated her guts and were too scared to tell her so. Popular probably wasn’t the most adequate term, intimidating maybe, but certainly not popular.

“Not very talkative, I see. That’s okay. I can do all the talking.” Aubrey winked.

Clarke cleared her throat, eyes cold and brow furrowed, “I’m Clarke Griffin.” she announced, “English teacher.”

“Nice to meet you.” Aubrey acknowledged her with a nod before her attention returned to Lexa and Clarke could feel her blood boil at the way Aubrey was ogling her…her Lexa.

“You teach French, right?”

Lexa nodded, “Yes. Though I plan to teach other languages too if the opportunity arises.” 

“That’s hot.” Aubrey said boldly, “Maybe you could give me some private French lessons. I’ve always wanted to learn it.”

“Sure, we could-”

Clarke got up abruptly, her chair screeching against the hard floor, “I gotta go.” she announced hurriedly, “Work.” was all she gave as an explanation, “I’ll text you...or whatever.” she told Lexa before leaving.

Lexa was frozen, her brain working to find an explanation to this mood swing. She was so lost in thoughts that she hadn't noticed the way Aubrey’s hand was resting on her forearm nor had she registered the words still leaving the other woman’s mouth.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I was wondering if you could maybe show me around one of these days. I still need to get acquainted to all of this.” Aubrey flashed her a smile, leaning forward.

“I’m new to the school too, actually. Well- not completely new but I haven’t been here very long, a couple months only. I think you should ask Clarke for information. She knows her way

around here better than anyone.”

Aubrey seemed disappointed, “Clarke?” she repeated the name, trying to place a face on it.

“Yes. The teacher who was sitting here two minutes ago. She introduced herself…” Lexa frowned.

“Oh, right. I was focused on far more interesting things I guess.” she grinned, “Anyway, maybe you could help me find the gymnasium?”

“Sorry but I have to do something right now. It’s right outside though, you can’t miss it. Big, white building with a red door. Ask a student if you still can’t find it.” Lexa started putting her stuff in her bag and she lifted it onto her shoulder, “Have a nice day.” she said hurriedly before all but running out of the room.

 

\-----------

 

Clarke sighed and threw her pen across her desk in frustration. She had been reading the same line four times now and it still wouldn’t stick inside her tormented mind. Logically she knew Lexa and her hadn’t made anything official. She had no right to feel entitled to anything.

Seeing Aubrey all over Lexa...it got her thinking. If she didn’t make her intentions clear, she would risk losing something that could turn into a beautiful thing, something that was  _ already _ turning into something beautiful. She rubbed her temples with her fingers and jumped when the door suddenly was pushed open. She smiled when she saw Lexa standing in the doorway, “Hey.”

Lexa sat down on the desk in silence, “Are you okay?” 

“Mhm.” Clarke hummed, avoiding Lexa's probing eyes, “I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Lexa whispered, “Come on, you just bolted out of the room without any explanation. What’s up? If I did something wrong-”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Clarke shook her head quickly, “It’s not you.”

Lexa's eyes widened suddenly, “Did something happen to your father?” 

Clarke shook her head, “No, no, he’s fine. He’s perfectly healthy.” she reassured the other woman.

Lexa seemed to relax with that information, “Good.” she said mostly to herself, “Cause I think I like your father.”

“Sorry to say this but he’s already married. You’ll have to wait your turn.”

Lexa lightly punched her shoulder, “Shut up.” she chuckled, “If it’s not your father...then what is it?”

Clarke dropped her head in her hands and rubbed at her eyes, “What are we?”

“What?”

“You and me, Lexa.” Clarke gestures between the two of them, “What are we?”

Lexa's voice dropped to a whisper, “Whatever you want us to be.” she murmured, her hand finding Clarke's over the wooden desk.

“I want to know where we stand because this whole come and go thing isn’t cutting it for me.” she said somewhat harshly before her voice grew gentle once again, “I like you, Lexa.” 

“I like you too.”

“And I don't want to keep tip-toeing around this cause I feel like we've waited long enough already. If we’re going to do this, I want it to be… _ real _ .”

Lexa moved on the desk until she was sitting right across from Clarke. Slowly, she cupped Clarke's cheeks and leaned down to kiss her with utmost delicacy, “Does this feel real enough to you?” she whispered with a knowing smirk, her lips brushing against Clarke's.

“I don’t know, I might need you to do it again. Just to be sure.” Clarke grinned and Lexa tilted her head to join their lips once more.

“Smooth, Griffin.” she mumbled against Clarke's lips before pulling the blonde’s bottom lip between her own. She pulled away after a few more seconds, “I’m serious about this.” she said earnestly, “I feel...safe with you. I can’t explain it, I’m scared of it but I  _ know  _ I don’t want to lose this.”

Clarke got up from her chair and she placed her hands on Lexa's knees, pulling them apart so she could stand between Lexa's legs and pull her in a warm hug.

Lexa wrapped her own arms around Clarke's waist, breathing in her perfume. She loved that smell. She had come to associate the smell of vanilla with Clarke. In the streets, she would sometimes pass by people with similar perfume and would do a double-take each time the smell filled her nostrils, looking around in search of a familiar blonde only to find a stab of disappointment when she realised Clarke wasn't around.

“I don’t want to lose this either.” Clarke whispered in the crook of Lexa's neck, her breath tickling the brunette's skin.

“How did this even happen?” Lexa chuckled quietly, “We’re so incompatible.”

Clarke “I hated your guts the first day I met you. I think I planned out five different ways of murdering you in my head.”

Lexa smirked, “How were you planning on killing me exactly?” she pulled away so she could gaze into Clarke's eyes.

“Well, there were multiple options: drowning, choking, shoving a book up your-”

“Keep it PG, Griffin.”

Clarke grinned, “Sorry, I forgot how much of a prude you actually were.”

“Take that back.”

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?” Clarke smiled cheekily, her fingers digging into Lexa's thighs.

“Unfortunately, all you do is lie.”

“False.”

“True.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I like you.”

Lexa lifted an eyebrow, “Prove it.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, her smile widening at the challenge and she moved closer until her lips were brushing Lexa's lips, “I won’t give you that honor.” she whispered before moving away, closing the lid of her computer.

“Tease.”

“You love it.” Clarke shot back before kissing the brunette's cheek, “Now, you should probably get going if you don’t want to be late.”

“I can just say I was showing Aubrey around.” Lexa said, tugging on Clarke's arm to bring her close again.

“Aubrey…” Clarke scowled despite herself, “Huh.” 

“What’s that?” Lexa laughed.

“What?”

Lexa pulled on Clarke's arm until she was close enough to wrap her legs around the woman, trapping her against herself, “Is that jealousy?”

“No.” Clarke looked away with flushed cheeks.

Lexa gasped in understanding, “That’s why you left so quickly after Aubrey appeared. You were  _ jealous.  _ I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots sooner.”

“You’re not that special. I wasn't jealous.”

“Sure.” Lexa said, clearly not buying it, “I’m flattered, Griffin.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Don’t get cocky on me. It doesn’t suit you at all.” she tried moving away but Lexa tightened her legs around her.

“I think you find my confidence sexy.”

“You’re gravely mistaken.”

“I think I’m spot on.”

Clarke laughed, “I liked sweet Lexa better.” she placed her hand over the other woman's collarbone, caressing the skin with her thumb.

“That was a moment of weakness. It won’t happen again.” Lexa said, smiling down at the other woman.

“I think you're soft for me, though.” Clarke said with a smirk, “I got you wrapped around my finger.”

Lexa scoffed, “Not a chance. I’m nobody’s bitch. Surely not yours.” 

Clarke moved closer until their noses were brushing, “Oh yeah?” she took a strand of  brown hair and twirled it around her finger, “I think I can make you do what I want if I try hard enough.”

“Tough luck.”

Clarke pressed her body against Lexa's, smiling at the sharp intake of breath it caused, “And if I tell you I want you to kiss me right now?”

Lexa's smile only grew, her eyes filling with mischief, as she brushed her lips against Clarke's before pulling away, “I’d tell you to go ask Niylah.”

“Asshole.” Clarke laughed, slapping Lexa's chest, “You haven’t really changed after all.”

“It’s what makes me so loveable, though.”

Clarke laughed, “Not according to most people.” she pointed out.

“But you’re not most people.” Lexa reminded, “And there is only one person I’m trying to impress here.”

Clarke gave her a soft smile.

Lexa pointed towards the ceiling, “...and that person is God.” she finished with a mischievous smile, laughing when Clarke punched her shoulder, “Will you stop punching me?”

“Sure, once you stop being a jackass.”

“No can do, Griffin.”

Clarke's smile betrayed her actual amusement, “Then get some healing cream at your local drugstore for future bruises.”

“This is domestic abuse.”

“We’re not even married.” Clarke said, laughing.

“Not with that attitude we’re not.” Lexa replied, smirking, “Do you  _ want  _ us to be married? Cause I can probably arrange something real quic-  _ ouch!”  _ she laughed when Clarke hit her.

“I wouldn’t marry you.”

Lexa's smile faltered slightly, “You wouldn’t?”

“I mean, I don’t know. Why are we even having this conversation now?” she asked, trying to go back to the previous light-hearted mood.

“Cause I refused to kiss you and your feelings got hurt.”

Clarke punched her again.

“At least punch the other one every now and then, that way it at least looks a bit symmetrical.”

“The OCD jumped out. I didn’t know you suffered from it.” Clarke said and Lexa rolled her eyes.

“We’re late for class.” was all she said before walking towards the door, “Oh and Clarke?”

“Yeah?”

“I hate you.”

Clarke laughed, “I hate you too.” 

Lexa gave one last glance at Clarke and threw a quick smile over her shoulder before disappearing into the hallway.

 

\----------

 

Anya grabbed Lexa's arm, “We didn’t get to finish our talk earlier. I didn’t know you and blondie were  _ together _ together.”

“Her name is Clarke.” Lexa rolled her eyes, jerking her arm away from Anya's hand, “And we haven’t established what we are.”

“Why not?”

Lexa faltered in her steps.  _ Yeah, why? _

“Do you think I should ask her to be my girlfriend?” Lexa wondered, “We’ve only just started dating. Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“Do you  _ want  _ her to be your girlfriend?”

_ Did she?  _ When she pictured Clarke as her girlfriend, she felt warmth spread from her chest all the way to her cheeks, painting them in a light pink. 

“I think so.”

“You should probably make sure you’re one hundred percent certain before making any major decisions, kid.” Anya patted her shoulder, “Whatever you choose to do, I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there again.”

Lexa groaned but a smile grew on her lips, “She didn’t really leave me a choice. She wouldn’t let me breathe.”

“Yeah, act like you weren’t thrilled by it.” Anya teased, nudging Lexa's shoulder, “Admit it, blondie’s a great person and it doesn’t hurt that she’s hot.”

Lexa scrunched up her nose, “You have a crush on her or what?”

Anya laughed, “Are you jealous, squid? Don’t worry, there’s no risk of me stealing her from you. I don’t play for that team.”

“And you wouldn’t be able to steal her from me anyway. I have more charms than you do.”

Anya scoffed, “In your dreams.”

Lexa smirked and shrugged on her coat, then wrapped her scarf around her neck, not willing to get sick again. It was bad enough the first time. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

**Clarke (3.20pm):** _ I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven. We’re finally going on that date cause I’m tired of waiting for you to grow some ovaries  _ ;)

Lexa squinted her eyes, a glint appearing in her eyes.

**Lexa (3.20pm):** _ I’ll come pick  _ **_you_ ** _ up at seven. I'll be the one dining and wining you, not the other way around. Prepare to be romanced and wooed like never before _

She had no idea where that had come from but the sudden challenge in Clarke's text and the playful implication that she wasn’t involved enough lit up something inside Lexa and she was now determined to prove Clarke wrong. She was nothing if not a gentlewoman.

**Clarke (3.21pm):** _ Can’t wait  _ ;) 

When Lexa lifted her head, she spotted Clarke smiling at her from across the hall. The english teacher blew her a kiss and winked at her before turning on her heels, leaving Lexa to gape like a goldfish.

Anya snapped a finger in front of her eyes, “Snap out of it, lady killer.” 

Lexa ignored her and kept staring off into space, “I have a date with Clarke.”

Anya smiled, “Oh, is that why you’re smiling like an idiot?” she punched Lexa's shoulder, “Who turned my best friend into a big softie?”

Lexa glared at Anya, “Why does everyone keep calling me that?” she whined, throwing her hands in the air.

“Because you’re absolutely whipped for Clarke and anyone with eyes can see that.” Anya smirked.

“Shut up, I’m not.”

“What color are Clarke's eyes?”

“Blue.” Lexa answered without an ounce of hesitation, “But there’s bits of gold in it and it looks more blue when we’re in the sun. It looks so piercing, kind of like an endless ocean, and-” she stopped speaking, “Oh.” she lips parted, “I get it now.”

Anya hummed, arms crossed against her chest and her lips pulled into a knowing smile that said  _ I told you so. _

“Okay so, I might have formed some sort of attachment to Clarke but-”

Anya laughed, “Some form of attachment? Can you be any less romantic?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Whatever, An.” she picked up her pace, the trace of a smile playing on her lips.

_ I have a date with Clarke Griffin,  _ she repeated inside her mind over and over again.

 

 

 


	15. Not bad for a first date

 

 

Lexa pressed a finger against her bedroom mirror, looking at her reflection with a determined frown, “You got this.” she said in a confident voice, “You are Lexa Woods and you aren’t scared of anything.” she continued, “Except maybe snakes but that’s another story.” She sighed and her shoulders sagged, “And now I’m talking to myself…”

She buried her face in her hands, her chest tightening with the threat of anxious thoughts. Her hands grew clammy and she rubbed them over her suit jacket. She was clad in a three piece suit. If she was going to take Clarke out on a date, she was going to do it right.

With one last deep breath and a final glance over in the mirror, she fetched her keys and her bag. She turned off all the lights and stepped out of her apartment, making sure to grab, on her way out, the single white rose she had bought earlier.

She remembered that Clarke had shared she liked white roses better because they seemed so pure in her eyes and weren’t as cliché as red roses. It was like staring at innocence itself. She had only bought one because she knew Clarke wouldn't like to receive a huge bouquet. It surprised her how many details she had remembered about the other woman.

“Tonight is going to be okay and we are going to spend a nice and beautiful evening.” she repeated to herself, breathing deeply to calm her nerves, or at least to try to.

She patted her pockets, making sure she had everything on her, then all but skipped down the stairs of her apartment building. 

 

\---------

 

She swiftly parked in front of Clarke's apartment building, turned the key in the ignition, and pulled it out. Instead of exiting the car immediately, she took a couple minutes to gather her thoughts. 

The street was dark, save for the few lampposts providing enough light for the street to not be plunged in complete darkness. In the distance, she could barely make out the familiar park and some children playing soccer.

The single rose felt heavy between her fingers. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her leg was bouncing uncontrollably, “Okay.” she whispered, reaching for the door handle. She hesitated five more seconds before pushing it open.

She looked down at herself and nodded once before picking up her pace until she was standing in the main entrance. She pressed on the button of the intercom before she could talk herself out of it.

_ “Go on up. Door’s open.”  _ she heard Clarke say.

She slowed down as she climbed the stairs, her nerves growing with each step she took, “Damn it, get your shit together.” she whispered harshly to herself.

“Nervous?” 

She was startled by the teasing voice coming from the top of the stairs and clutched her chest, “Fuck.” she whispered.

“You’re jumpy.” Clarke smirked, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“It’s not funny, Clarke.”

“It kind of is.” the other woman argued, “Come on in, let me put you out of your misery.” Clarke winked.

Lexa leaped up the remaining steps, then slipped inside the open apartment, carefully closing the door behind her, “H-hey.” she spoke, slightly out of breath.

Clarke leaned against the wall and smiled, “You look great.” she commented, taking a step closer to tug on Lexa's tie, “Very fancy.”

Lexa's cheeks were flushed. Because she had just climbed the stairs, obviously. Why else? She cleared her throat, “Y-You too.” she finally said, after her brain had finally caught up with what Clarke had said.

“You’re very eloquent tonight.” Clarke brushed her hand over the collar of Lexa's shirt, “What happened to wooing me like never before?”

Lexa squinted her eyes. The challenge was clear in Clarke's voice and it tore her out of her frozen state. She revealed the single rose she had been holding delicately and presented it to Clarke, “Let’s start with something small, shall we?” she smiled, “This is for you.”

Clarke's eyes softened and she caught the rose between her fingers, “You remembered.” she noted, noticing the white colour of the flower.

“I guess you’re not as much of a basic bitch as I thought.” Lexa conceded with a playful smile. It only grew in size when she heard Clarke's laughter.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted by that.” the blonde woman said as she placed the single rose in water.

Lexa smiled and her eyes moved up and down Clarke's frame appreciatively, “You really do look amazing, Clarke.” she spoke slowly.

Clarke looked at her briefly and shot her a blinding smile, “Thank you.” She grabbed her bag and arched an eyebrow, “So, where are we going dressed to the nines like that?”

Lexa delicately took hold of Clarke's hand, “I hope you like ballet.” she whispered, eyes hopeful and happy.

Clarke's jaw dropped, “You got us tickets to a ballet?! H-how - when- I mean, on such short notice?”

“I know people who know people.” Lexa simply said, as if it were no big deal, brushing it off, “I take it you’re satisfied with the plan?”

Clarke looked at her as if she was stupid for even asking that question, “Of fucking course. Shit, I’m underdressed for that.” she looked down at herself.

Lexa looked at Clarke's dress. A simple yet beautiful midnight blue strapless dress which fell slightly loose, pooling at her feet gracefully.

“You look perfect.” she breathed out.

Clarke's eyes snapped up, no longer looking down at her outfit in shame but rather staring into Lexa's honest eyes, “Thank you.” she said quietly, feeling her cheeks heat up despite her best attempts to appear unaffected by the brunette’s words.

Lexa blinked a few times, nodding her head to herself, giving herself one last mental pep talk, then she offered her arm for Clarke to take.

The whole way down, she wanted to pinch her arm, to make sure this was really happening, that it wasn't all a very good yet very cruel dream. Clarke seemed happy with her choice of activity at least and that brought her some comfort but didn’t entirely erase her anxiety.

She hoped her hands weren’t too sweaty by now and nearly cursed under her breath when she felt pressure in her chest.  _ This is going good, relax,  _ she repeated to herself.

“Lexa?”

The gentle sound of Clarke's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She hummed, “Mh, what?” her hands were definitely sweaty now and she clasped them behind her back.

“Are you okay?”

“What, yes, I’m fine. Why?” Lexa asked, somewhat agitatedly.

“You look nervous.”

Lexa scoffed, “I don’t get nervous.” she denied, “I just-” she struggled to find an excuse, “I’m-”

“Lex.” Clarke cut her off, “There is no need to be nervous. It’s just me.”

_ That’s exactly what makes me nervous,  _ Lexa thought. When she saw the confused look on Clarke's face, she realised she had said it out loud.  _ Crap. _

“You’re nervous because of me?” Clarke chuckled, “Well, that’s new.” she crossed her arms in front of her chest, “Am I that intimidating?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “That’s not it.” she opened the passenger’s door, “After you.” she motioned to the inside of the car.

Clarke's hand gently grabbed the side of Lexa’s jaw and soft lips dropped a kiss on the brunette's cheek, “You don’t have to be nervous.” she whispered before ducking her head and taking a seat inside the car.

Lexa stayed frozen for a few seconds, a stupid smile growing on her lips. She jumped into action and all but ran towards her side of the car, feeling a rush of confidence.

She turned on the radio, connected her phone to it and fumbled through it in search of a song, smiling when her thumb hovered over a song. Without hesitating, she pressed down on her phone and started the ride as the first notes rang through the car.

“It’s a French song.” Clarke noted.

“Well, it’s in French but the artist is Belgian.” Lexa answered, “I found the song a couple weeks ago and I can’t stop listening to it.”

[ _ https://youtu.be/XQKYEs4llzg _ ](https://youtu.be/XQKYEs4llzg)

Clarke's eyes were soft. Something in Lexa’s tone told her that the song was important to her, “What is it about?”

“It speaks of a girl...who is in love with another girl. And who is afraid to say it because of society’s judgmental views.”

Clarke gave her a sad smile.

“I wish…” Lexa started, tapping her right hand on the steering wheel nervously, “I wish I had songs like this to listen to while I was growing up.”

“Did...was it difficult for you?”

Lexa swallowed and stayed silent for a few seconds. Clarke was about to tell her that she didn't have to reply when Lexa spoke again.

“I grew up with loving parents and Indra has always been very accepting too but…” she took a deep breath, “People at my high school weren’t as tolerant.”

Clarke reached out with her hand and Lexa took one hand off the steering wheel and placed it on Clarke's, her eyes never leaving the road ahead.

“What happened?” Clarke probed.

Lexa shrugged, “The usual. I got called names, got thrown around a lot. I was pretty much alone all through high school cause Anya wasn’t in school with me. She graduated two years before I did. For some reason, I couldn’t get people to like me so I just-” she sighed, “I stopped trying. I figured high school would be over soon and I didn’t want to jeopardise my education.” 

“Lex…”

“Anya never knew about it. She still doesn’t. It's for the best. She would hunt those people down and I just want to leave all that in the past.”

“I’m sorry.”

Lexa shrugged, “So I didn't really get to date until college anyway.” she whispered, “I haven’t been with many people, I’m not really experienced...”

“It doesn't matter.” Clarke whispered, lifting Lexa's hand and kissing the back of it, “You’re you and I like who you are.”

Lexa’s bottom lip was trembling, she made a turn to the left and looked at the name of the street, “We’re almost there.” she deflected, changing the topic skillfully. 

Clarke did not push. She kept holding Lexa's hand, until the other woman needed both her hands to park the car. Before they left the car, she pulled Lexa in by the neck and kissed her cheek softly, “Thank you for trusting me.”

 

\---------

 

Clarke's eyes grew twice their size when they entered what looked like an enormous ballroom. 

Blinding chandeliers were hanging from the ceiling, bringing light to the entirety of the room. Everyone was dressed in a fancy way, chatting cheerfully among one another, a glass of champagne in hand.

“Lexa!” Clarke whispered, “This is so fucking fancy- oh shit! Can we even swear in here? Is there a rule that prohibits it?”

Lexa chuckled, “You can swear all you want, Clarke. Maybe keep the volume down, though. You might get looks from people like them.” she gestured discreetly towards a middle aged couple that were visibly well off and used to those events with the way they effortlessly blended into the place, mingling with fellow amateurs of ballet.

“I don’t think we fit in among people like them.” Clarke whispered, “I mean, their salary probably has three more zeros than ours combined.”

Lexa smiled, “It doesn’t mean we’ll enjoy tonight less. If anything, we’ll probably have more fun than them.”

Clarke's lips tugged into a sweet smile and she linked her hand with Lexa's, “You’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

Clarke laughed, “Jerk.”

Lexa smiled at her and leaned closer, “By the way, you’re by far the most beautiful woman in the entire room.” she took satisfaction in the blush that appeared on Clarke's cheeks.

“Thank you.” the blonde woman bashfully said, squeezing Lexa's hand.

The lights dimmed, then regained their former brightness, “And that is our cue.” Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear, “Shall we go?” she asked with a soft smile.

Clarke gave her a soft smile. As they walked towards the entrance, a waitress walked past them, carrying a platter with champagne glasses on it. Clarke's eyes widened, “Oooh, champagne!” she said, reaching out to grab one before resuming walking, bringing the glass to her lips

Lexa chuckled, shaking her head, “Behave, Clarke.”

Clarke frowned, “What? They’re for everyone.” she whispered, “I know I’m not rich like those people but I sure as hell will enjoy their rich products while I’m here.”

Lexa smiled and led them inside the room, guiding Clarke towards their seats on the second balcony. Clarke's eyes were wide.

“You got us some of the best seats.”

“I did.” Lexa simply confirmed with a slow nod, “I figured you would want to be able to see the show as best as possible.” she slowly sat down and frowned when she noted that Clarke was still standing in the middle of the row, “Clarke?”

“Holy shit.” the blonde said before covering her mouth, “I just keep realising where we are. I can’t believe you brought us here, like...how?”

“I know some peop-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know that but still…” Clarke waved her hand at the scene in front of her, “This is huge, Lex! We so don't belong in this scenery.” she laughed to herself.

“I happen to think you look magnificent in this scenery. Or any other.”

Clarke finally turned to meet Lexa's eyes and she gave a soft smile, “Charmer.” she whispered, holding the bottom of her dress as she sat down next to Lexa.

“The main dancers are actually ones that I have had the chance to see in the past.” Lexa confessed in a whisper after a few moments, “And they’re crazy good.” 

Clarke shivered when she felt each of Lexa's word against the shell of her ear. The other woman really had no idea the effect she had on her, “Y-yeah?”

Lexa hummed while nodding, “I remember everything even though it was years ago. The room wasn’t as big as this one but it was just as impressive.”

Clarke wanted to say something but the lights were suddenly turned low, leaving space to a semi-darkness. In the obscurity, she could still make out Lexa's sharp features and she took advantage of the dark to admire them further.

“Clarke, you’re staring.” Lexa murmured, her eyes trained ahead of her, waiting eagerly for the show to begin. Her excitement was betrayed by the tapping of her shoe against the carpeted floor and by the way her index finger kept scratching the smooth surface of the armrest.

“You’re…” Clarke sighed, feeling like no word could truly do Lexa justice, “You’re something else.” 

“Is this a good or bad thing?” Lexa asked, biting her lip worriedly as she finally moved her eyes towards Clarke.

“Good, definitely.”

She could see the small smile of victory on Lexa’s lips and she mirrored it. Before they could add anything else, the show began and they were both too enraptured by it to remember their previous conversation. It wasn’t long before Lexa felt a hand settle on her own, a tentative graze of fingers first, then a more secure hold. 

Her eyes scanned Clarke's content face and she tried not to beam. She failed.

 

\----------

 

Thirty minutes into the show, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket and cursed herself for forgetting to turn it off. Her brows furrowed when she saw it was a text from Clarke.  _ Why would she- _

**Basic bitch (9.35pm):** _ what if one of them messes up? would we even notice? since there are so many on stage _

“Clarke.” she whispered as quietly as possible, “I’m right next to you, why are you texting me?”

“Cause I thought we couldn't talk during these things.” Clarke explained, “And you haven’t answered my question.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “They won’t mess up, they’re highly trained professionals. They’ve been working on this for years.”

“Everybody makes mistakes, Lexa. They’re bound to make at least one at some point. This is stressing me out.”

“You’re just stressing yourself out at this point. Just enjoy the show, Clarke.” Lexa quietly said.

Clarke hummed and leaned her head on Lexa's shoulder, unaware of the small (huge) gay panic it created within the brunette, “You’re comfy.” Clarke whispered with a smile.

“I'm…Th-thanks?”

“It was a compliment, Woods.” Clarke murmured, eyes fixed on the dancers on stage, finding herself hypnotised by the show, “This is surreal…” she whispered in awe, “They’re so incredible and just- whoa…” 

Lexa lifted her left arm to wrap it around Clarke's shoulder, her own shoulders relaxing when she felt Clarke accept the gesture and snuggle deeper into the embrace.

“I always get amazed by it. As if it were my first time seeing it.” Lexa whispered, “I remember how I wouldn't shut up about it after seeing my first ballet.” she chuckled at the memory and Clarke looked up at her with a fond look in her eyes. Lexa noticed and blushed, “What?”

“You’re beautiful like this.”

“Like what?”

“Happy.” Clarke simply said, before turning her attention to the dancers, as if that single word hadn’t just had a huge impact on Lexa.

“I wasn’t happy before?” Lexa chanced a glance at the woman in her arms.

“Not like this.” Clarke said, “You were withdrawn, and very quiet. You were also rude and overly cocky but now I know this was just a façade. To hide the fact that you’re too kind for your own good.”

Lexa blinked once, then twice. No one had ever referred to her as  _ kind.  _ Other, less pleasant adjectives were usually used. She didn’t need people to try and figure her out. They would assume she was a jerk and step away. And she was fine with it. Or at least, she thought she was. Now she realised that she had been settling for less most of her life. Now that she had someone as precious as Clarke around, she realised what she had missed on all those years.

Absentmindedly, she brought Clarke closer to herself and leaned her cheek against the top of the woman’s head, “Thank you for staying.” she said in a heartbreakingly small voice.

“Always.” Clarke replied, looking up and grabbing Lexa's hand, “I’m not going anywhere just yet. You'll have to work harder to get rid of me.” she winked.

_ Why would I ever want to do that?  _ Lexa asked herself, a smile growing on her lips as she finally let herself relax and enjoy the moment.

 

\----------

 

“Lexa...I am speechless. This was...by far the best show I’ve seen in my entire life. Thank you.” Clarke breathed out when they left the room.

“The pleasure was all mine.” Lexa smiled. Her smile dropped when she saw a spark of mischief in Clarke's eyes, “Oh no, I know that look. What are you gonna do?”

Clarke smirked, “See that VIP booth over there?” she pointed at a private space a few meters away from them.

“...Yes?” Lexa was dubious. She knew Clarke was capable of pretty much anything and she had a feeling whatever Clarke had in mind would get them kicked out or involved in a fight somehow.

“Wait here.” Clarke said.

“What, Clarke, no! You can’t-”

_ Too late.  _ The blonde woman was already sprinting towards the VIP space. She jumped over a couch, grabbed a bottle of champagne, then ran out before the security guard could catch her. She came sprinting towards Lexa, the security guard hot on her tail, yelling at her to  _ “get back here, you little [redacted].” _

“Run, Lexa!” Clarke yelled, grabbing the brunette's hand as she ran past her, effectively tugging her along. Before she knew it, Lexa was sprinting towards the exit as fast as her feet would carry her. She was impressed at how fast Clarke could run in  _ fucking high heels. _

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuc-” she repeated as she threw furtive glances behind them to see that the security guard was still behind them, “Clarke, he’s gonna catch up to us!” she said as they left the building.

“No way!” Clarke shouted, taking a turn to the left, “A fence!” she pointed at it.

“Oh no, Clarke- what?! We're not jumping over a fucking fence, what is- shit, Clarke!” 

The blonde was still holding her hand, giving her no choice but to follow. Clarke finally dropped her hand. She discarded her shoes and threw them on the other side. After climbing onto a large public garbage bin, Clarke moved over the fence as quickly as possible, considering she only had one hand available, the other one holding the champagne.

Lexa hesitated on the other side of the fence but the urgent look in Clarke's eyes and the sight of the security guard approaching prompted her to climb over the fence in swift movements.

“Fuck yeah, that’s the spirit, babe!” Clarke shouted, putting her shoes back on, then grabbing Lexa's hand again and running off, looking behind them and laughing when she saw the defeated look in the guard’s eyes, the man clearly not being paid enough to climb over fences and run after people.

They kept running for maybe five more minutes before Clarke stopped and dropped down on the pavement in a deserted area. Lexa placed her hands on her knees and breathed heavily, hunched over.

“That was...awesome!!” Clarke shouted, laughing loudly.

Lexa was still catching her breath and she wanted to shout at Clarke for being so reckless but when she saw the glint in blue eyes and heard her melodious laughter, she could only laugh along as she dropped on the ground next to her colleague.

“You’re fucking insane.” she whispered, beaming as her chest rose and fell quickly with each ragged breath.

“I thought you liked running.” Clarke grinned.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Yeah, I love running in the park, not running because I’m being chased by a dude who could snap us in two if given the chance.”

“You could take him.”

“You’re delusional.” Lexa grinned.

Clarke rolled on her side, “No, I’m serious. Have you seen your biceps? They’re…” she paused and breathed deeply, still panting, “They’re crazy impressive.” 

“You're biased.” Lexa laughed.

Clarke hummed, smiling, “In the best of ways.” she mused, “And guess what, babe?”

“What?” Lexa blushed at the term of endearment.

Clarke held up the bottle, “We got champagne.” she grinned triumphantly.

Lexa smiled at her antics. Now that the adrenaline was gone, she had a fairly clear mind and she couldn’t help the loud laughter that tumbled out of her lips, “I can’t believe you.”

Clarke smiled. She rolled onto her stomach and propped her chin on her hands, “I really, really like you.” she said after staring at the other woman in silence for long seconds.

“And you could have gotten us arrested.” Lexa replied, finally regaining a steady breathing.

“You loved it.” Clarke argued and Lexa couldn’t deny it so she simply laughed, “I’m adding entertainment in your otherwise sad life.”

“Okay, my life was just fine, thank you.”

Clarke reached out and traced the side of Lexa's face with her fingertips for a few fleeting seconds before pushing herself off the ground, “Let’s go?”

“Our outfits are ruined.” Lexa looked down at herself, covered in dirt.

“Worth it.” Clarke said, “Now, come on. I’m craving McDonald’s.” she put her shoes back on.

“In these clothes?” Lexa chuckled.

“Yeah.” Clarke grinned, already walking towards the main street, “You coming or what?”

Lexa shook her head and followed after her colleague. They stopped briefly at Lexa's house, which was close by, to leave the bottle of champagne there, then headed out once more. As much as Clarke wanted to drink it that same night, it was too much trouble to carry it around.

Lexa had officially lost all control of their date but weirdly enough, that didn't scare her. She usually loved to do things according to the plan and not stray too much from it but she liked the turn of events and couldn’t wait to see what else Clarke had in store.

Turns out she didn’t have to wait very long because, as they strolled through the city center, Clarke gasped and pointed at a musician playing the piano a bit further, “Look, Lex!”

She grabbed Lexa's hand and pulled her along until they were standing at the front of the small crowd that had gathered to listen. 

Lexa looked at the piano wistfully, “I wish I still had my old piano…” she mumbled, mostly to herself but Clarke heard and gave her a questioning look, “I had to sell it to help pay for college tuition. I haven’t played in a long time.”

“You play?” Clarke's eyes grew, “Shit, you have to show me.”

“Maybe someday.” Lexa smiled.

“Fuck that. There is a piano right there.” Clarke said before walking towards the musician who was getting ready to play his next song.

“Clarke!” Lexa whispered loudly, “Clarke, no. Don’t-”

Too late. The blonde was already talking to the musician, pointing towards Lexa with a bright smile and pleading eyes and before Lexa knew it, the musician was nodding and motioning for her to step closer.

“You will pay for this.” Lexa said as her shoulder brushed against Clarke's, “I don’t even know if I remember anything.” The musician gestured for her to sit behind the piano and Lexa looked nervously around her at the crowd, “Clarke, I don’t know if-”

“Hey, forget about them.” Clarke smiled, leaning against the top of the piano, “Play just for me.” 

Lexa got momentarily lost in the blonde’s eyes and she nodded, swallowing heavily. She hadn’t played in so long. It almost felt foreign to her to be sitting on the stool but as soon as her fingers touched the keys, every melody, every music sheet, came flooding back inside her mind.

Before she knew it, her fingers were delicately pressing down on the keys and Clarke's face lit up with joy. She closed her eyes at first, but opened them after a minute or so and saw the absolute awe in Clarke's eyes.

She kept staring into blue eyes. Now that she had started playing, she could practically play the whole melody without looking down at her hands, simply with her touch and memory. 

She wouldn’t have been able to tear her eyes away from Clarke's either way.

All too soon, the song ended. She played the last few notes, still looking at Clarke when her fingers slowly detached from the instrument.

“Whoa…” Clarke said, “Lexa, this was- whoa…”

Lexa chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck, “Thanks. I’m a bit rusty, though.”

Clarke scoffed, “Are you kidding? This was so good! I can only dream of ever playing an instrument like this.” 

“You’re a natural.” the musician said from beside her, “If you’re interested, I play here every Thursday, Friday and Saturday evening. The crowd seemed to love you.” he gestured at his hat in which people were dropping more money. He reached for some bills and handed them to the brunette.

“Oh no.” Lexa shook her head, “They’re yours.” she refused the money, pushing his hand back towards him.

“But you earned it.”

“I do not need it. Consider it my thank you for letting me use your piano.” Lexa smiled politely, getting up and bowing her head slightly.

“If you insist.” 

Clarke instantly grabbed the woman's hand between her own, and led them away after wishing the musician a good evening, “Your hand is cold.” she noted.

“They always are.” Lexa whispered, “It matches my personality.” 

Clarke laughed, “I don’t agree.” she argued, “You’re not a cold person. You’re actually very kind when we get to know you.” 

Lexa smiled, “Not many people get to know me.” she reminded.

Clarke shrugged, “It makes it all the more intriguing. It made me want to know you more cause I  _ knew  _ there was more to it. I just had to figure out what you were hiding behind all those pretenses.”

“And what is it I’m hiding, huh?”

Clarke stopped in her tracks and turned on her heels to face the other woman, “A heart of gold.” she simply said, smiling.

Lexa's lips parted, “Is this really how you see me?” she asked quietly.

Clarke nodded, “And how you should see yourself too.” she spoke earnestly, “Anyway, I’m  _ hungry _ and I believe I was promised McDonald’s.”

“I never promised such a thing.”

“Like you could refuse me anything, Woods.” Clarke winked before walking away.

“Wait for me at least.” Lexa grumbled, falling into steps with the other woman, “We will look ridiculous in these clothes.”

“That’s the point.” Clarke gave her a winning smile.

Lexa wanted to argue but a soft hand grabbed her own and lips were pressed on her cheek before she could speak a single word.

“You’re cute.” Clarke whispered into her ear before once again pulling her along. Lexa was not the one leading the date anymore. There was no doubt in her mind about it now. And she loved it more than she cared to admit.

She wanted to hide her face and subsequently, her growing blush, when they got weird looks upon entering the McDonald’s building in fancy clothes,  _ in dirty fancy clothes _ . Clarke seemed to have no shame and she quickly waited in queue for their turn to place their order.

“What do you want?” Clarke asked, pulling out her wallet but before she could fully fish out her credit card, a hand stopped her.

“You’re not paying.” Lexa firmly said, “I know you’ve kind of turned this date into...well, whatever you wanted it to be,” she chuckled, “But I’d like to keep some control and I’m not letting you pay for anything tonight.” 

“Lexa…”

“I’m serious, Clarke.” Lexa insisted in a voice that left no room for discussion. But Lexa was starting to learn how stubborn Clarke could be.

When the time to pay came, Clarke quickly pulled out her credit card and Lexa all but jumped forward to snatch it away, “Let me pay, Lexa!” Clarke said loudly, gathering people’s attention.

“No.” Lexa said. She looked at the cashier who tried to restrain her laughter, “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” she wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and lifted her up, carrying her towards innocent customers eating their meal peacefully, “Hello, do you mind keeping an eye on her while I pay for our meal? Thank you. Don’t let her leave.” she looked at Clarke, “Don’t. Move.” 

She didn't wait for an answer and smiled at Clarke's noise of protest, “I’m not a child. I don’t need people babysitting me!” she shouted at Lexa while the brunette placed her card into the machine.

Clarke obediently remained seated in the back of the establishment, throwing a glare at Lexa when the other woman came back with their food.

“I wanted to pay.” Clarke said, arms crossed.

“So did I.” Lexa said, shrugging as she placed the tray on a table in the corner, “Come on, sit with me.” 

“No.”

Lexa laughed, “Fine. Suit yourself.”

“I’m mad at you.”

Lexa looked at her for a few seconds, a glint of amusement in her eyes, “Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“What a shame. We’ll have to cut this short then. And never go on a date again. It doesn't seem to be working out.” her voice carried a hint of teasing that wasn’t lost on Clarke.

“Jerk.”

“I hate you too, Griffin. Now come over here and eat your overly salty fries and greasy burger.”

Clarke scoffed, “At least I won't be starving ten minutes after eating because I decided to order a fucking salad at a fast food restaurant. Who does that?”

“Plenty of people.”

“Lame.”

“Being healthy isn’t lame, Clarke. Now come over here.” she motioned at the empty seat in front of her and the blonde finally dragged herself towards the table, before plopping down on a chair.

“Happy?”

Lexa hummed and smiled, stabbing into a piece of radish, “Very happy.” she said around a bite of her salad.

“It’s impolite to talk while eating.” Clarke reminded, “How unmannered can you be?” she poked at Lexa's chest, “We need to do something about that.”

“Eat your unhealthy food and shut up.” Lexa rolled her eyes, pushing Clarke's burger towards her, disgust clear in her eyes as she watched the food.

“You’re boring. Salad is boring.”

“Salad is one of the ways I keep in shape and I know you’ve been staring so don’t even pretend you haven’t.” 

Clarke shrugged unabashedly, “I’m only human after all.”

Lexa smiled, “You’re something else, Griffin.” she spoke quietly.

Clarke dipped her fry into ketchup sauce and grinned, “You like me, though. How unlikely.” 

Lexa hummed, still not fully understanding it either. Clarke and her were so different. They had no reason to get along and yet they did, wonderfully so. She didn’t notice she was staring until Clarke cleared her throat and tilted her head in question.

“What?” Clarke laughed, “Do I have sauce on my face? Shit, it happens all the time. Messy eater and all that.” she wiped at her chin with the napkin, “Where is it?” she asked.

Lexa shook her head and gently grabbed Clarke's chin before leaning in to press a gentle kiss on her lips, “You don’t have anything on your face.”

Clarke stared at her in silence, dumbfounded, then her lips slowly shifted into a wide grin, “So you  _ do _ like me. Good to know.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “I never tried to hide it.” she argued, crossing her arms.

Clarke raised a knowing eyebrow.

Lexa huffed, “Okay, I did, but that was before…this.”

Clarke smiled and then stood up on her stool, “This warrants a speech.”

“Clarke, get down!” Lexa hissed, “Holy f- Clarke!” 

Clarke winked at her, then cleared her throat, “Hello, everyone. My name is Clarke Griffin and I just wanted to tell all of you that Lexa Woods, who is currently hiding her face cause she’s ashamed of me, is  _ totally _ into me. Can I get some applause? Cause it took me months to get there and I feel like I deserve it.”

Lexa let her head fall against the table as the room filled with the sound of people’s loud applause and Clarke’s voice as she thanked everyone and  _ bowed _ . She honest to God  _ bowed _ and nearly fell out of her chair.

“Sit back down before you fall and die. I’d like to have the honor to kill you myself.” Lexa said in a quiet voice, tugging on Clarke's dress, “I fucking hate you right now.”

Clarke laughed and kissed Lexa's cheek, “You’re very cute when you’re embarrassed. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Anyone who so much as considers calling me cute would suffer major injuries so no, no one ever did.”

Clarke hummed, “Interesting.”

“What?”

“I don’t see any injuries on me. You must  _ really  _ like me.”

“Please just shut the fuck up.” Lexa mumbled against her hands, covering her face and her cheeks which had taken on a bright red color.

“I have a question.”

“Is it going to be a stupid one?”

Clarke gasped, “Who do you think I am? All my questions are smart.”

“You once asked me if Beyoncé's clone would be called Beytwicé.”

Clarke smiled, “That was a smart question. It just goes to prove my point.”

“I beg to differ.” Lexa mumbled.

“Anyway, I meant to ask why we didn’t meet up at your apartment to go to the ballet since you live so much closer to it than I do.”

Lexa shrugged, “I wanted to pick you up.”

Clarke smiled, “That’s cute.”

“There’s that word again. You really need to cross it out of your vocabulary.”

“It describes you so well, though.”

Lexa mumbled something indecipherably. She crossed her arms on the table and leaned her cheek against them, admiring the woman in front of her, “Now you have sauce on your chin.” she pointed out, reaching out with her thumb to wipe it, then licking her finger clean.

“Aren’t you afraid of how unhealthy this sauce might be?” Clarke asked with a teasing smile.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “It won't kill me.”

“I’m wearing off on you. And not in a good way.” Clarke clicked her tongue.

Lexa closed her eyes and smiled, “I don’t mind.” she whispered. A hum inadvertently escaped her lips when she felt a hand run through her hair.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Lexa merely hummed, whining quietly when the motion stopped. Clarke smiled, then resumed stroking her hair. She asked if Lexa was tired and wanted to go home but the other woman had shaken her head, claiming she didn’t want the date to end just yet. That sent Clarke's heart soaring in her chest and she too leaned her cheek against the arm she wasn’t using to stroke Lexa's hair.

“I was intimidated.”

Lexa frowned and lifted her head from the comfort of her arms, “What?”

“When I first saw you.” Clarke continued, “I was intimidated.” 

Lexa laughed, “ _ You?  _ Intimidated by  _ me?” _

Clarke chuckled, “I also hated your guts but you know that already. Acting almighty and shit.” 

“I apologised for that.”

“And it looked like it was killing you to do it. I almost felt sorry for you.”

Lexa playfully pushed her shoulder, “I don’t apologise often.” she shrugged, “I don’t know why.”

“You apologise when it matters.” Clarke shrugged.

Lexa hummed, “Finish your fries. There is somewhere I want to show you next.”

“You don’t want to get rid of me yet?” Clarke winked.

Lexa smiled, “I guess I can tolerate you a bit longer.” she teased, dodging Clarke's fist when the woman tried to punch her shoulder.

 

\---------

 

“How is your father doing?” Lexa asked quietly, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her suit jacket. She noticed Clarke shivering and instantly discarded it to drape the item of clothing over Clarke's shoulders.

“Thank you.” Clarke whispered, holding onto the jacket, “He’s doing fine. He’s been staying home for the past few days. He can’t go back to work for another two weeks just to be sure.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Lexa spoke, “Say hello to him for me.” 

“Maybe you could come with next time I visit?” Clarke suggested, “He likes you. For some unknown reason.”

Lexa smiled, “I’m likeable.” 

“You don’t even believe that, do you?”

“Not even a little.” Lexa admitted, smiling discreetly.

“And yet, I like you.” Clarke said, “Weird, isn’t it?”

Lexa looked down at her hands, “Yeah...weird.” she agreed, her brow furrowed.

Clarke placed a hand on top of Lexa’s, “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, just so you know. I think it’s quite amazing how much we get along considering how different we are. I’ve never connected with anyone who was that much different from me.”

“Me neither…” Lexa realized. 

Costia had been rather closed off, like herself. And Anya...well, she was Anya. That pretty much explained it. Lexa wasn’t used to being around people that were as full of life and as unashamedly honest as Clarke. And she liked it. A lot. It was refreshing.

She stopped walking in front of a wall. Not just any wall. This one was covered by a painting that was nothing short of amazing.

“Someone painted this a couple months ago. The police wanted to take it down at first and find the culprit because they essentially saw it as vandalism but the neighbourhood came together to defend it and ask for the piece of art to be left untouched. It was too beautiful to be washed off just like that.”

“You were one of those asking for it to be left here?” Clarke asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Is it that hard to believe?” 

“I just know how much of a stickler for rules you can be and this is still vandalism after all.”

Lexa shrugged and looked at the painting with awe, “Yeah but it’s beautiful. And everyone likes it. I don’t think anyone really minds that it is vandalism because this wall looks much better like this.”

Clarke smiled, “It really does.” 

“I thought you might like seeing this. I don’t know why. I just saw you draw and you’re really good at it, I don’t know.” Lexa started justifying her decision to come here and Clarke found it adorable.

Her hand slipped into Lexa’s while her eyes remained trained on the painting ahead, “I love it.” she whispered into the quiet of the night.  

Lexa breathed a sigh of relief and held onto Clarke's hand a bit tighter, “I should get you back home. It’s late.” 

“I forgot how reasonable and boring you could be.” Clarke teased, “Such a grandma.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “It’s not very smart to be rude to the person driving you back home. I could leave you here alone for all I know.”

“You wouldn't.”

“Oh?”

“You like me too much.” Clarke winked, lifting their joined hands and kissing the back of Lexa’s, “Come on, I’m cold and I want to cuddle in your car.” she tugged on Lexa's hand.

“Wha- oh, okay.” Lexa let herself be pulled along, her reply dying on her lips when Clarke looked back at her with a stunning smile on her lips.

 

\----------

 

They were standing in front of Clarke's apartment door, neither of them wanting to end it, yet both knowing they would have to. The clock was almost pointing midnight.

“I had an amazing night.” Clarke broke the silence, “Thank you, Lex.”

Lexa smiled at the use of her nickname. It sounded so good rolling off Clarke's tongue, “Well, I wasn’t really the one organising it, was I?” she arched an eyebrow, looking at her colleague pointedly.

Clarke grinned, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. I had fun.”

“You’re capable of that?” Clarke teased, “You keep surprising me.”

Lexa’s lips were pursed in a vain attempt to hide her smile, “I should…” she cleared her throat, gesturing to the staircase.

“You could come in?”

Lexa's smile faltered, “Oh, I’m not sure this is a-”

“Not like that!” Clarke clarified, “I just don't want tonight to end.”

Lexa's chest filled with warmth and she couldn’t help the sudden blush rising to her cheeks, “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Come on in.” Clarke grabbed her hand and pulled Lexa inside the apartment with her.

Silence engulfed them and Lexa stood by the couch awkwardly, her hands clasped together in front of her. Clarke dropped down on the couch and discarded her heels with a relieved sigh.

“Those were killing me. I don’t even know how I managed to run with them.”

Lexa shook her head, “It was reckless of you to steal that bottle of champagne.” 

Clarke smiled, “You’ll thank me for it when we’ll drink it on our second date.”

Lexa's eyebrows jumped and she almost dared to hope, “Second date?” she questioned, hope lacing her words.

“You do want one, right?” Clarke asked, “I’m not the only one feeling…” she gestured between the two of them, “..this.”

“I do want it, Clarke.”

“Good.” Clarke's relief showed on her face, “Now sit down. You look like you have a stick up your ass.”

Lexa grumbled, “I do not.”

“Almost eighty percent of the time, you do.” Clarke teased, “It’s okay. I think it’s kinda cute.”

Lexa didn’t bother complaining about the use of  _ that word _ again. She just dropped on the couch and embraced the warmth that came with the feeling of Clarke's hand intertwined with her own.

“Do you think anyone would believe us if we told them we’re together?” Clarke asked after a few moments of silence.

“Yes.”

“Really?” Clarke turned her head to look at Lexa, “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

Clarke raised an eyebrow. She pointed at herself, then at Lexa, “Do I need to explain any further?”

“Well, Niylah believed it. Anya called it months ago and I believe other teachers wouldn’t be that surprised either.”

“Wait, hold on. Anya called it? So you two have been talking about me for what, months?”

Lexa groaned and hid her face behind her hands, “Don’t flatter yourself, Griffin. She was the only one talking and she just wanted me to put myself out there again.”

“And she...thought…” Clarke narrowed her eyes, “...you...with me? Anya came up with that? How? I mean, why?”

“...” Lexa looked away, “You’re making me think you’re the one who doesn't believe we could work together...”

Clarke's eyes widened, “What, no!” she exclaimed, “That’s not-” she shook her head frantically, “I just didn’t think Anya was the kind to...meddle like that, it's all.”

Lexa hummed, unconvinced, “Well, she is.” she simply shrugged, “I should go.” she rose from the couch.

“Lexa-”

“I’ll text you...probably.”

“Lex, come on.” Clarke called after her, “I didn't mean it like that. You know it. I meant it when I said that I like you. Hell, I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.”

Lexa froze.

“You…” she all but whispered, “Seriously?” 

“Yes.” Clarke said quietly, as if revealing a secret. In a way, that was what she was doing, “So would you please get your pretty ass back on this couch? Because I’m cold and I was planning on using you as a human blanket before you freaked out on me and started bolting out of here.”

Lexa's shoulders slumped. She was disappointed in herself. For once again taking the easy way out. For trying to escape before it got too real. She looked into Clarke's pleading yet strong eyes and she knew. She knew what she wanted. She knew she couldn't deny herself the chance to feel the same happiness she had felt in the three years she had been dating Costia. That is before she caught her cheating.

Clarke was...she was the opposite of what Lexa usually looked for in a partner. And yet, she was exactly what Lexa needed. She was warm, caring and understanding. She was more patient than anyone Lexa had ever met and she had the biggest heart. She gave without ever expecting in return. She was so...alive. 

It was easy to be with Clarke. Free of worries. It was a breath of fresh air in Lexa’s life. Someone she never knew she needed and yes, she was someone Lexa could live without if necessary, but she realised she didn’t want to. Ever. 

She had come to crave Clarke's presence. She would long for it whenever they were apart and she would unconsciously seek Clarke out in the hallways of their school, scanning the space to see if she could catch even just a glimpse of blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

_ God, her eyes. _

They were so beautiful. And they were also so revealing. In them, Lexa could almost see the pain and burdens that Clarke carried within herself but it was overpowered by the strength and determination they showed.

Lexa was transported back to that night she opened her door to a sobbing woman who looked smaller than she ever had before, crying out for her father, body trembling and shaking with the force of her sobs. To when Clarke's eyes looked tired and empty.

That was the first time she saw Clarke without her usual smile. And it was like a direct stab to her heart. As she looked at Clarke now, sitting on her couch, and looking at her expectantly, she wondered how many other sides of Clarke she had yet to discover. The good sides, like the bad sides. She wanted it all. She wanted to know everything about Clarke. Because Clarke made her feel alive. Because Clarke made her feel brave. And because she loved Clarke.

Her eyes widened.

No.

No, no, no.

She didn’t realise she was shaking her head, blinking rapidly, until Clarke frowned and got up, “Hey, are you alright?” the woman asked.

“Uh...yeah!” she replied, overly eagerly and it made Clarke that much more suspicious.

“Are you sure?”

Everything in her was telling Lexa to run. As far away as possible. To shield herself from potential hurt. To ignore the onslaught of feelings coursing through her. Every part of her was begging her to leave. Except one. 

Her heart was screaming at her to take the chance. To take a leap of faith and to trust Clarke to catch her. She had ran far too many times and if she was honest with herself, it never really got her anywhere.

She took a deep breath and her eyes connected with concerned blue ones. Clarke's eyes were so  _ beautiful _ , illuminated only by the soft light of the moon peeking through the large windows. In two big strides, she was in front of the other woman.

Her hands moved up to frame Clarke's face and she kissed her soundly, trying to convey through the kiss what she was too much of a coward to say with words. 

When she pulled away, she connected their foreheads and kept her hands on Clarke's cheeks, needing to  _ feel  _ her. 

“Whoa…” Clarke breathed out, “That was...damn, Lexa…”

Lexa's lips pulled into a soft smile, “I’m not good at this whole  _ feelings  _ thing, but I want to try.” she confessed, “Because you…” she groaned when she couldn’t get herself to say the words, her brain stopping her everytime she tried to get them out.

“It’s okay.” Clarke whispered.

Lexa's shoulders relaxed upon hearing Clarke's soft tone. Clarke was giving her the chance to walk out of this yet again. To forget she was even going to say anything and to move on to something else.

_ No.  _

Lexa’s right hand slipped behind Clarke’s neck and she nodded mostly to herself, her nose brushing against Clarke's, “You make me happy.” she finally whispered, “And I hadn’t realized before how unhappy I really was. I thought…” she swallowed heavily, “I thought I was happy but I was just settling for less.” she admitted, “But you...you’re just-” she huffed at her inability to express herself correctly, “Fuck.”

Clarke laughed, “Very romantic.” she murmured.

“I’m trying.” Lexa whined.

“I know, baby.” the pet name slipped past her lips and she was about to retract when Lexa's hand squeezed the back of her neck gently.

“Don’t take it back.” Lexa whispered, “I like it.” she admitted softly. Clarke smiled brightly and Lexa opened her eyes momentarily just long enough to see the happiness in blue eyes, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t want to ruin it like I always ruin everything else.”

“You won’t.” Clarke wrapped her own arms around Lexa's waist, “I’m in this completely if you are. I’m not playing. Not this time. Not with you.”

“This whole  _ being honest  _ thing is really hard and embarrassing. Can we stop?” Lexa grumbled, trying to move away but Clarke's arms around her waist kept her rooted in her spot.

“Don’t move just yet. I like this side of you. I don’t want it to slip away yet.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“You sure?” Clarke asked in a small voice, “Because you’re not the only one who’s scared of getting her heart broken.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t leave. Don’t freak out on me, okay? Cause you made me like you, now you gotta deal with the consequences.” Clarke pressed a kiss on the corner of Lexa's lips, “I can’t believe I have feelings for a jerk like you.” she laughed.

“And I can’t believe I have feelings for someone as loud and messy as you.” Lexa retorted.

Clarke grinned, “I bet you would love it if I were  _ loud _ and  _ messy _ in a more  _ intimate _ situation.” she murmured.

Lexa choked on air and Clarke burst out laughing, letting her head fall on Lexa's shoulder.

“You get embarrassed way too easily, Woods. This is too funny. Honestly, you handed me that one on a silver platter, that was too easy.”

“Clarke!” Lexa whined, “You can’t just- ugh, you can’t just say things like that when I’m not prepared!” she tried to push Clarke away when the other woman started laughing harder but Clarke held her close. Eventually, Lexa gave up and let herself be hugged by the blonde, “I hate you.”

“We both know you don’t but for the sake of this catch phrase, I’ll say that I hate you too.”

“Not bad for a first date, huh?”

“You’re lucky I was there to make it fun.” Clarke shot back, her light tone indicating she was only joking.

“You really did enjoy the ballet, right? You’re not just lying to make me happy?” 

Clarke captured Lexa’s lips in a soft kiss, “I loved it. Really. Thank you for bringing me there.” she smiled gently, “Now join me on this fucking couch cause I want to cuddle in front of a movie.”

Lexa grinned, “Okay.”

If you asked Lexa what the movie was about, she'd reply she had no idea. She was far too busy kissing Clarke to care about the plot of a movie neither of them was paying any attention to. 

“So you like me, huh? That’s kinda lame.” Clarke said, hours later, when they’re both lying on her bed, Lexa's arm wrapped around her middle.

Lexa chuckled. She pulled the blonde closer to her and buried her nose in her hair, “Shut up and sleep, Griffin.”

 

 

 


	16. "We're figuring it out."

 

 

  
  


**Saturday the 18th of March**

Lexa woke up to the sensation of fingers gliding over the skin of her back, “What are you doing?” she grumbled in a sleepy voice, fighting to stay awake.

“Tracing your tattoo.” Clarke answered, “It’s beautiful.”

“And did I say you could touch me?” Lexa asked.

“Oh.” Clarke's hand retracted quickly, “I’m sorry.” she hurried to apologize, “I just saw a bit of your tattoo under your shirt and I thought-”

“I’m kidding, Clarke. Chill.”

Clarke huffed and her hand found Lexa's skin again, fingertips sliding tentatively over the healed tattoo, “You told me each circle represents someone you have loved and lost…”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“It's okay.” Lexa whispered, “I just wanted something to remember them by.”

Clarke traced the outline of the circles, “Who are they?” she asked quietly, “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

“There’s my grandmother and grandfather on my mother’s side. They both passed away when I was in my early teenage years.”

Clarke's fingers stopped their movements and she stared silently at Lexa's back. One of her hands slipped across Lexa's waist to wrap her in a one arm hold.

“The biggest one, in the middle is for my mother.” Lexa explained, “She died when I was fifteen.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Lexa smiled sadly, “I keep only fond memories of her.” she rolled around until she was facing Clarke, “My father met Indra a couple years later and she has been nothing but good to me.”

“You said you had brothers.”

“Yeah.” Lexa grinned, “Lincoln is Indra’s son and Aden,” her smile widened at the mention of the younger boy, “He was adopted a few years ago.” 

“You love him.”

“How could I not?” Lexa replied, “He’s everything to me.” she admitted, “He lost his mother to cancer and his father has never been in the picture. I just…” she swallowed heavily, “I just want to be able to give him the childhood he should have gotten. But I’m barely even present for him…” she berated herself, “I can’t even be there for my little brother because I’m always so focused on myself.”

“Lex.” Clarke cupped her cheek, “I’ve seen the way you support your brother. And he’s lucky to have you. He knows how busy you are, I’m sure. It’s not always easy to make time for family.” 

Lexa looked down at her hands, “I should try harder. He looks up to me. And I want...I want to be an example for him.”

“I’m sure you already are.” Clarke smiled, “And Easter holidays are just around the corner. You’ll get to visit them then.”

Lexa nodded but she didn’t look convinced.

“Or…” Clarke trailed off.

“Or...?” Lexa probed.

“We could visit them now, I mean  _ you  _ could.”

Lexa's eyes lit up. She didn’t have anything to do for the next school week and although she had wanted to get a head start on grading, seeing her brother sounded  _ way  _ more appealing right now.

“You’re amazing.” she whispered.

Clarke laughed.

“I want you to come with.” Lexa said seriously, eyes boring into Clarke’s.

Clarke's laughter stopped abruptly and she looked at Lexa in disbelief, “You...you want  _ me  _ to come with?”

“Yeah.” Lexa confirmed, “Only if you want to.” she added, doubt forming inside her mind, “I’d like for you to meet my family.” she shrugged.

“Meeting the parents already?” Clarke poked Lexa’s stomach, “Moving a little fast, aren’t we?”

Lexa smirked, “Well, I already met yours and I’m glad I did.”

“Don’t tell me about it. I think my parents like you a little too much.” Clarke rolled her eyes, “They must be planning a wedding as we speak.”

Lexa laughed, “I like them. They’re sweet.”

“Well, my dad is in love with you so I guess he’d be happy to know.”

“To know that I like him or that…” she gestured between the two of them awkwardly.

“You can say it out loud, Lexa.”

“That we’re…” she stopped speaking, blushing, “I can’t say it.”

Clarke laughed and rolled around before pushing herself out of the bed, “Okay, Lexa.” she grinned, “I’m going to take a shower. You can either try to figure this out by yourself or join me.” 

With that, she was gone, leaving a speechless and flustered Lexa on the bed.

Clarke's head peeked through the gap between the door and the wall, “You’re really cute when you blush.” she winked and closed the bathroom door.

Lexa realized minutes later that Clarke still hadn’t given an answer to her offer to come with her at her parent’s. 

She heard a scream coming from the bathroom and suddenly, the door was pulled open and Clarke all but ran out in her underwear, clutching a towel over her naked chest.

“What? What happened? Are you okay?” Lexa quickly asked, placing her hands on the woman's upper arms, “Did you get hurt?”

Clarke pointed behind Lexa, “There was a fucking spider in the shower!”

Lexa's hands dropped back to her side and she let out a loud laugh, “And  _ that  _ is why you screamed like that? Clarke, a spider has more reason to be afraid of you than the other way around.”

Clarke's eyebrows shot up, “Then you go ahead and face that monster if you’re so fearless. I’m not going back in there.”

Lexa chuckled, “Okay.”

Her laughter increased when she spotted the  _ tiny little spider _ minding her own business above the mirror, “Clarke! It’s so small, I can’t-” she started laughing harder.

“I have two arms and it has eight!” Clarke shouted defensively, “It’s not fair!”

Lexa couldn’t stop laughing and it could be heard through the whole apartment. Clarke just scowled in disgust when Lexa gently took the spider in her hands.

“What the f-” she yelped when Lexa left the bathroom with the spider in hand, “What are you doing? Just kill it, for fuck’s sake!”

“ _ Kill it?”  _ Lexa repeated with indignation, “Why would I kill such innocent creature?” she looked down at it casually.

“ _ Innocent?”  _ Clarke almost choked on her words, “If there is something this  _ thing  _ isn’t, it’s innocent. It has- no! Don’t come closer with this abomination!”

Lexa smirked and slowly walked towards Clarke, extending her hands towards the woman and laughing at the fear growing in blue eyes, “I named him Eugene.”

“Ugly name for an ugly thing, very suiting. Now get it away from me.”

Lexa laughed, “You need to apologise to all people named Eugene.” she climbed down the stairs of the apartment building until she was at floor level. She gently lowered the spider on the ground outside, then closed the door once more.

When she was back at the apartment, she found Clarke in the bathroom, doing a full sweeping of the room with her eyes, still half naked, which Lexa couldn’t deny was having some kind of effect on her.

“May I ask what you are doing?”

“Trying to see if the devil has left its spawns.”

Lexa snorted and quickly looked around, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” 

“You know what? Fuck it, I don’t need a shower after all. I’ll just stop showering altogether. That sounds like a good idea.”

“Not for us who have to be around you.” Lexa mumbled, “Have some pity on our souls.”

Clarke laughed. She took Lexa's hand in hers and kissed the back of it, “My knight in shining armor.” she grinned, readjusting the towel over her chest.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Get in the shower or get some clothes on. You’re gonna get sick.”

“I thought you’d appreciate the view.” 

“Oh, well, I mean-”

Clarke's hand slipped behind Lexa's neck and brought her down for a brief kiss, “Like I said, you’re cute when you blush.” with that, she disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind her but Lexa could see her look around once more for any spiders left.

Her lips pulled into a wide smile and she let herself drop on the bed. If all it took to get a kiss from Clarke was to get rid of a few spiders, then she’d do it happily over and over.

 

\---------

 

“I want to go.”

“Hm?” Lexa looked up from her book.

“I’d like to go to your parents’ house with you if that’s okay.”

Lexa's lips pulled into a smile, “It’s more than okay.” she assured Clarke, “I do have to warn you, however, that Indra can be rather intimidating at first, but she’ll warm up to you, I’m sure.”

“How many of your girlfriends have you brought over so far?”

“None.” Lexa answered earnestly, “Is that-” she looked down, struggling to arrange her thoughts into a coherent sentence that wouldn’t make her sound utterly stupid, “So...girlfriend?”  _ Yeah okay, should have stayed quiet on that one. That wasn’t even a sentence,  _ she berated herself.

Clarke hummed, then it dawned on her, “Oh, uh, well-” she stammered out, “I mean, would you want that?”

“I guess, why not.” Lexa shrugged nonchalantly. Clarke’s face fell and she frowned, then Lexa's lips stretched into her signature smirk, “You should see your face right now.”

“Lex!” Clarke slapped her shoulder, “Are you seriously making fun of me right now?”

“I’m just kidding, Clarke. Just trying to lighten the mood. You looked nervous.” her hands reached for Clarke's hips and she pulled the woman closer, “Of course I want to be your girlfriend.”

“What makes you think I was even going to ask you that?”

“Weren't you?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “Okay yeah, I was, but you ruined it. And I still want to ask you properly.”

Lexa smiled, “Okay.” 

Clarke sat up on the bed, beckoning Lexa to do the same, and she took Lexa's hands between her own, staring right into green eyes which almost looked blue in the light peeking through the curtains.

“Lexa Woods,” she started.

“Yes?”

There was a beat of silence and Lexa held her breath as she waited for the question to drop.

Finally Clarke spoke.

“Will you be the yee to my haw?” Clarke was barely able to contain her laughter when she saw Lexa's face contort into one of pure confusion.

Lexa's expression was blank, “I truly hate you.” she groaned, “What does it even mean?”

“It’s a meme, Lexa.”

“A  _ what  _ now?”

“Oh my god. You don’t know what a meme is?” Clarke's eyes widened.

Lexa shrugged, shaking her head, “Am I supposed to?” she asked, dubiously.

“Yes!” Clarke said, “You have many things to learn, young one.”

“I’m older than you.”

“Alright, grandma. Suit yourself.”

“I’m not-”

“A grandma? Yes, you are.” the blonde smirked and took joy in seeing the annoyance on Lexa's face.

“Fuck off.” Lexa said.

“It’s kinda hot when you curse, you know.” Clarke said, tugging on the collar of Lexa's shirt to bring her closer, “And you have yet to answer my question.”

Lexa arched an eyebrow, “I don’t even know what I would be agreeing to. As you so beautifully put it, I am a grandma who isn’t very skilled in the art of…what was the name again?”

“Memes?” 

“Yeah,  _ that _ .” 

“I’m asking you to be my girlfriend, Lexa. Do not make a big deal out of it.”

Lexa's lips shifted into a bright smile that reached all the way to her eyes and Clarke was almost sure she had never seen anything so beautiful.

“As I have said before, it would be an utmost honour to be your girlfriend, Clarke Griffin.” she rubbed her thumb over the back of Clarke’s hand, “even though you are a pain in the ass ninety percent of the time.”

Clarke laughed, “You’re one to talk.”

“You’re saying  _ I  _ am a pain in the ass?”

“Yes.”

“How so?”

“Do you really need a full description? Cause that would take hours and I reckon we have somewhere to go.” 

Clarke yelped when Lexa pinched her side, “Then get moving, you brat.”

“Can we stop by your place and get that champagne we left there? So I don’t show up at your parents’ empty-handed.”

Lexa smiled, “You want to gift them a  _ stolen  _ bottle of champagne?”

Clarke grinned, “Hey, they don’t need to know where I got it from.”

Lexa smiled, “Fine.” she agreed, “Besides, I need to grab some clothes if we’re planning on staying for the weekend. You should start packing up too.”

“So you really  _ do _ want me to come.”

Lexa frowned, “Well, yeah. You’re...my girlfriend.” she tested the words out loud, “I want you to be there with me.”

Clarke closed the distance and pecked Lexa's lips, “Okay.” she whispered, “Give me thirty minutes and we’ll be good to go.”

Lexa left the room and sat down on the couch, pulling out her phone to text her parents and give them a heads up, then to call her long time best friend.

 

\----------

 

“You what?” Anya said, eyes wide and her lips stretched into a proud smile.

_ “I have...a girlfriend?”  _ Lexa repeated in a giddy voice.

“Who is it? Please tell me it’s Clarke cause that would just be precious.”

_ “It’s Clarke.”  _ Lexa confirmed,  _ “We’re...figuring it out.” _

Anya smiled, “I’m proud of you, Lex. For really putting yourself back out there.”

_ “Yeah…”  _ Lexa sighed contentedly,  _ “I just couldn't continue denying myself things anymore. I don't want to be scared anymore and Clarke is amazing. She’s nothing like Costia.” _

“Thank God cause I never liked Costia and you know that.”

_ “I know. And it turns out you were right about her so maybe I should listen to you a bit more.” _

“You should. If I remember correctly, I was also correct about Clarke.”

_ “Don’t gloat too much.”  _

“I would even say that I’m the reason you guys are together now.”

_ “So full of yourself. Clarke is actually the reason but whatever makes you happy, I guess.” _ Lexa chuckled.

“Can't believe you finally pulled your head out of your ass.”

_ “She’s worth it, Anya. She’s so-” _

“Beautiful, wonderful, marvelous, breathtaking, gorgeous, amazing-” Anya started listing off.

_ “Shut up”  _ Lexa laughed,  _ “You don’t understand. I’ve never felt like this before. She makes me feel...alive.” _

Anya's smile was genuine and she felt a rush of happiness course through her. In the past year, all she had wanted was to see genuine happiness etched onto her best friend’s face. It had been awhile and it wasn’t for a lack of trying on her part. Lexa had lost herself along the way but now she was slowly getting back to the person she used to be before...before Costia.

“I’m happy for you, squid.”

_ “I thought we agreed on you never calling me that again.” _

“I don’t recall.” Anya smirked, “Look, I gotta go but call me if you need anything.”

_ “Will do. Thanks, An.” _

Anya hung up and smiled down at her phone.

 

\-----------

 

“Buckle up!” Clarke called from the driver’s seat, “It’s gonna be a ride of...pretty average length!”

Lexa grinned, “Ay ay, captain.” 

Clarke's eyes met hers and the blonde smiled, her tongue trapped between her teeth, “This is gonna be great.”

“You might be more excited about this than I am.” Lexa noted, “How come?”

Clarke shrugged, “I’m happy to officially meet your family. I’m curious to know if they really are like you described them.”

“Do you not trust me, Griffin?”

Clarke smirked, “Well, you could have embellished the truth to make me less scared to come with.”

“You and I both know I wouldn’t do that. I’m way too straightforward.” 

“That you are.”

Clarke started up the car and plugged her phone into the car radio. Soon,  _ Bring me to Life  _ by Evanescence was blasting through the car. 

Lexa laughed, “Missing the early two thousand’s music?” 

“I know you miss it too.”

Lexa smiled, “Maybe a little.”

 

\---------

 

They had been driving for less than five minutes when Clarke started tapping on the steering wheel with the palm of her hands, singing along distractedly to whatever song was playing.

Lexa's eyes zeroed in on the woman next to her, taking her in. Clarke was unaware of her staring and Lexa kind of hoped it would stay that way just so she could admire the other woman a bit longer. When had she become so whipped? More importantly, how had she gotten so  _ lucky? _

Clarke casted a quick look to her side and both women looked away, a matching blush on their cheeks.

“Kane said he wanted to make some changes to the school, by the way. He held a meeting last week when you were still in Minnesota.” Lexa broke the silence, “I had completely forgotten.”

“What kind of changes?”

“He wanted to organise more trips with the students. They would not be compulsory because he knows not everyone can afford it. Basically, he’d like to organise at least two trips a year, starting with one in the beginning of May. A two day trip to Paris, I think.”

“Paris?” a wide smile broke onto Clarke's face, “I’ve always wanted to go.”

“It’s not as impressive as people make it out to be, you know.” Lexa quipped.

“Oh come on, it’s the city of love and fashion!”

Lexa laughed, “Yeah, right.” she shook her head, “Once again, your vision is slightly erroneous. People barely talk to one another and they all dress in normal clothing, nothing fancy whatsoever.”  “What about the Eiffel Tower?”

“Sure, if you want to wait three hours in line to visit it. I assure you, there is nothing romantic about that.”

Clarke smiled, “See, I think you’re being too practical here. Romance can be found anywhere. You just gotta create it yourself.” 

“Even in a dumpster?”

“Is that a challenge?” 

“We’re  _ not  _ going to go to a dumpster so you can test out how charming you can get.” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“I don’t need to test out how charming I am, I already know the answer.” Clarke mused, “I’m pretty damn charming.”

Lexa chuckled, “You’re also full of modesty.”

“Are you saying you can resist my charms?” Clarke asked, glancing to her right momentarily.

“Totally.”

“We’ll see about that.” Clarke confidently said, “If you can hold off kissing me for twenty-four hours, you win. If not, I win.”

“That will be easy enough. And what does the winner get other than immense satisfaction?”

Clarke smirked, “If you lose, and I know you will-”

Lexa scoffed.

“You will have to admit to breaking Kane’s favorite mug.”

Lexa frowned, “What if I don’t want to break his favorite mug?”

“That won’t be a problem. It’s already broken. He just doesn't know yet. Monday morning is going to be fun for him.”

“You broke his favorite mug?”

“One, it was an accident. Second, I did him a favour. You and I both know it was the ugliest mug in existence.”

Lexa hummed in agreement, “Are you sure it was on accident?”

“Yeah. Not a big loss, though.”

“He’s going to be devastated. How are you going to explain  _ that  _ to him?”

Clarke smirked, “I won’t have to.” she happily said, “Because you will after I win our bet.”

“Your excess of confidence will lead you to your demise.” Lexa clicked her tongue, “And what’s in it for me?”

Clarke thought for a moment, “If you happen to win by some miracle…I don't know, choose something. It’s only fair since I chose your punishment.”

“I want you to publicly admit I am a better teacher than you are. In front of all your students.”

Clarke gasped, “New rules, if you lose you have to do that too. The stakes are way higher for me than they are for you, it’s unfair.”

“So if I lose, I have to admit to both breaking the mug and to your superiority, but you only have to do one? Hardly seems fair.”

Clarke sighed, “Fine, pick a second dare for me.” she waved her hand dismissively.

Lexa thought for a moment, “...I want you to hold a ten minute conversation with Bellamy  _ and  _ Niylah.”

“The two of them at once?!” Clarke groaned, “You want me to talk to the two people who notoriously have shown interest in me? Why?”

“Cause I know how painful that will be for you.” Lexa shrugged.

“You’re not joking around, are you?”

“Never.”

“Fine, deal.” Clarke held out her hand and Lexa shook it firmly, “But just so you know, I never back down from a challenge.”

“Neither do I.”

“Starting now, you have until tomorrow at noon to hold off kissing me. If you can’t, I win.”

“It’ll be easy.”

Clarke smiled to herself, “Or so you think.”

 

\----------

 

The car pulled to a stop a few minutes later in a small driveway, Lexa giving the last instructions so Clarke could park the car on the side.

“Ready?” she brushed her thumb over the back of Clarke's hand.

“Yeah.” Clarke smiled. She leaned forward to steal a kiss from Lexa but the other woman pulled away swiftly.

“You really think me stupid enough to fall into such trap?”

Clarke shrugged, “I was hoping you’d have forgotten already.”

“You strongly underestimate me, Griffin.” Lexa shook her head, opening the car door and slipping outside, stretching her legs.

Clarke unbuckled her belt and reached for the bottle of champagne which was strapped in the backseat. 

“Just so you know, my mom is a wine person. Not sure you’ll score any points with that.” Lexa pointed at the bottle.

“And you decide to tell me this only now because…?”

“I like watching you freak out.”

Lexa stayed by the car as Clarke started walking towards the three story house standing high at the end of the driveway. She wanted to take a small moment to enjoy this. Being back home. And this time, not alone. She smiled at the small bounce she could spot in Clarke's steps.

She opened the trunk and hefted the bags effortlessly to put them carefully over each of her shoulders. Juggling the car keys and their two bags, she swiftly pulled the trunk to a close, then caught up with Clarke who was nearby the entrance door.

Before they could knock on the door, it was flung open and a giddy blond boy dashed outside to barrel straight into Lexa’s body, nearly knocking them both off balance. Clarke watched it unfold with keen eyes, reaching to get a hold of her own bag, freeing one of Lexa's arms which the woman instantly used to wrap her brother into a hug.

“I missed you soooo much.” Aden said, his face pressed against Lexa's stomach.

Lexa's eyes were sparkling with joy as she tightened her arm around her brother, “I missed you too, kid.”

“Are you staying the whole day?” he asked, apprehension and excitement mixing in his voice.

“Even better. I’m staying the whole weekend.”

He jumped away from her with wide eyes, only to jump back into her arms, “You’re the best sister ever!” he squealed, his arms squeezing her.

“Aden.” Lexa softly said, “Maybe we can postpone the hug to a bit later. There is someone I want you to meet.” she whispered, nodding at somewhere behind the boy.

Aden glanced behind him and gasped. In his excitement, he hadn’t even seen that they had a guest, “Sorry!” he said, louder than necessary, “Hello! I’m Aden!” he outstretched his hand, “Who are you?”

Lexa grinned, “Aden, manners.”

“Sorry.” he whispered, “Who are you, please?”

Clarke laughed and Lexa brought her palm to her face, shaking her head.

“I’m Clarke.” the English teacher provided an answer to the boy’s inquiry, “It’s nice to meet you. Lexa speaks very highly of you.”

“Really?!” his eyes grew in size and his lips stretched into a toothy grin.

“Yup.” Clarke nodded, “She told me all about the great soccer player that you are.” she said in a whisper, winking at the boy.

“Oh...but I haven’t scored a goal yet.” his shoulders sagged.

Clarke gently put a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, it’s not what matters. What really counts is that you do your best and have fun on the field. Do you like playing soccer?”

He nodded excitedly.

“Then it’s all that matters! Keep practicing and one day, you’ll be a champion.”

“Yeah!” he grinned, “And I'll have a LOT of money so I can buy one MILLION radio controlled cars! And also figurines! And walkie-talkies! So I can speak with my best friend ALL THE TIME!”

Clarke laughed, “That’s the spirit!” she presented her hand for a high five and smiled when the nine year old energetically slapped her hand.

Lexa's heart was developing a mind of its own inside Lexa's chest, jumping up and down and from side to side with each passing second spent watching Clarke interact with her brother.

They heard someone call for Aden from inside the house, “Aden! What did I say about opening the door on your own? Do not-” Indra stopped speaking when her eyes landed on her step-daughter, grinning from a few feet away, “Alexandria? I did not know you were coming.”

“What, you mean to tell me Gustus finally managed to keep a secret from you? I expected him to ruin the surprise two seconds after I hung up.”

“What are you standing over there for?” Gustus said, appearing in the threshold, “Come get your hug.” he opened his arms and Lexa gladly walked into them.

“Hi, dad.”

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” Indra asked, hands clasped together and eyes set on Clarke, watching her wearily and inquisitively.

“Yeah,  _ Alexandria.”  _ Clarke said.

Lexa cast her a side glance that clearly let on that she did not enjoy being called by her full name, “Mom, dad, this is Clarke. My colleague and…” she sent Clarke a questioning look.

“Go ahead.” Clarke nodded.

Lexa smiled briefly, then squared her shoulders, “And my girlfriend.” 

Indra’s eyebrows shot up and she stared at Clarke once again, looking at the woman in a different light this time. It was just as scary as the first time, Clarke noted, if not more. 

“And she comes bearing gifts!” Gustus exclaimed, happily accepting the bottle of champagne Clarke was presenting him. She watched as the man disappeared inside, surely to store the bottle somewhere safe.

Clarke jumped into movement and offered Indra her hand to shake, “It’s nice to meet you.” she gave a warm smile.

Indra firmly shook her hand, “Come on in.” she nodded towards the inside of the house before retreating back to the inside warmth of it.

Clarke did not know what to make of that interaction but before she could think about it too much, she felt two arms lift her up and off the ground in a bone-crushing hug, “It sure is a pleasure to finally have Lexa bring someone home.”

Lexa grinned, “And this is my dad, Gustus.” she said, amusement lacing her voice.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Clarke said, her cheeks red.

“Call me Gustus, please. Don't make me sound so old.”

Lexa saw the air slowly leave Clarke's body and the color drain from her face the longer Gustus was keeping her in a hold. She tapped on her father’s shoulder, “Okay, let her go before you kill her.”

Finally Clarke was lowered back to the floor. She bent over and rested her hands on her knees, “Thank you.” she breathed out, “I thought my time had come.”

“And I’m the dramatic one?” Lexa said.

“Yes, you are.” Clarke winked.

“She isn’t wrong, squid.” Gustus said.

Lexa groaned, lifting her eyes to the sky as she took off her coat, “Will you stop calling me ridiculous nicknames? It was cute when I was five, it’s not anymore.”

“I think it’s cute.” Clarke commented, “Squid.” she dodged the beanie Lexa threw at her, then picked it up from the floor and hung it by the entrance, “You missed.” she smirked.

“I’ll make sure not to next time.” 

Lexa felt insistent tugging on her sweater and she looked down at her brother who was looking up at her with big, pleading eyes, “Will you help finish building my new desk? It’s more difficult than it looks and dad keeps saying he can do it but he can’t.”

“Hey!” Gustus exclaimed, “I just need some time to figure it out. I can do it!”

Lexa and Aden both looked at him disbelievingly. Clarke smiled at how similar they both looked, arms crossed and eyebrow arched.

“I’ll figure it out.” Gustus repeated, “I just need a couple more days.”

“But it’s been two weeks already!” Aden whined.

Lexa burst out laughing, “Two weeks?! At this rate, you’re never going to finish it. Give up already.” she placed her shoes by the entrance mat, so to not wet the floor, and Clarke followed suit.

“Think you can do a better job?” Gustus challenged.

Indra patted her husband’s shoulder, “You need to stop challenging Lexa to do something that you cannot achieve. She wins everytime and I’m the one who will have to deal with your unceasing sulking.” 

Clarke smiled, “I feel like there is a story here.” she said quietly, feeling at ease with the Woods’ parents.

“Many stories, to be precise.” Lexa said.

“Flat tyre, Ikea bookshelf, broken water pipes, and most recently, a computer which wouldn’t shut down properly. You name it, she fixed it.” Indra said, then looked at her husband, “You seriously want to add to that list?”

“She can’t be good at everything.” Gustus said.

“Oh she can.” Clarke said quietly. Only Lexa heard and she grinned to herself.

Aden tugged on her hand so she would follow him upstairs and into his room. Clarke was planning to stay downstairs but the young boy grabbed her hand as well, tugging her along with them, “You can help too!” he grinned.

“O-Okay!” she said, throwing one last glance to Lexa's parents who were just looking at the three of them with an inexpressive face for Indra and a wide smile for Gustus.

 

\----------

 

“Can you hand me that small piece to your left?” Lexa asked, crouching down to assemble two pieces of Aden’s new desk. The instruction papers were laying by her feet.

Clarke had admittedly spent more time staring unabashedly at Lexa than helping. She wasn’t really good at manual work anyway. 

A thin layer of sweat was pearling down Lexa's forehead and she wiped it with her forearm before discarding her flannel so that she was left in a tank top only. Clarke's mouth fell open at the sight of toned muscles moving with each movement of Lexa's arms.

Aden was looking out the window from where he was sitting quietly on the bed, his legs dangling in the air. Lexa would ask him to hold a piece for her every now and then, even if only to make him feel like he was participating in the building of his desk, so that he could brag about it later.

“Want to help some more?” Lexa asked Clarke, looking over her shoulder at the other woman who was now sitting next to Aden on the bed.

Clarke grinned, “I’m pretty happy to stay here, so I can keep enjoying the view.” 

Lexa frowned, then blushed in realisation. Her cheeks were already red from the effort but her fleeing eyes were a tell tale sign of how flustered she was, “I could use a little help still. To hold it together while I assemble it. See, this piece is supposed to fit here but I will need to use that screwdriver to do that and I need you to hold these planks together. I’d ask Aden but I don’t want him to hurt himself.”

“What if I hurt myself?”

“I choose to believe you have more coordination than an eight year old. Don’t prove me wrong, Griffin.” 

“Eight and a half!” Aden corrected with a beaming smile.

Clarke pushed herself from the bed to lend a hand to her girlfriend who looked tired, despite her best attempts at showing off. No one liked assembling furniture. It was long and draining.

“You know you don’t have to finish this today, right? You’ve been at it for two hours already.”

“I’m almost done.” Lexa argued, “And I need to see the look on my dad’s face when he sees that I have one upped him yet another time.”

“You have a great relationship with your dad.” Clarke noted, “It’s sweet.”

“He has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. When I didn't have any friends, he was always there.” Lexa finished with the screwdriver and let it drop next to her, grunting when she finally got back into a standing position, “He never let me down. He understands me better than anyone.”

“So he’s just as much of a softie as you are?” Clarke teased, poking Lexa's stomach.

“I’m not soft.” Lexa rolled her eyes, “He is, however.” she smiled, “He’s been my confidant when I didn’t have anyone else to talk to.” 

“How did Indra and him meet?”

“They were both part of the helping committee at my school. And with weekly meetings and other events, they got closer.” Lexa shrugged.

“Wasn’t it weird for you? That your dad started dating someone new?”

Lexa smiled, “At first it was. I was eighteen years old so I didn't take it too well. I was stupid and all. But he was happy. It took me a while to see it but she made and still makes him happy. It’s all that matters in the end. She’s not a replacement for my mom and she knows that, she would never claim to be. She doesn’t pretend to be a mother to me and I’m thankful for that.”

“What do you think of her as?”

“Honestly? I  _ do _ see her as a mother figure. She has been treating me with nothing but kindness and never pushed me to talk to her or to do anything. I wouldn't call her mom because that will always be reserved for my mother but Indra is close to that.” Lexa gripped the desk and shook it slightly to test out its stability, “Seems good.” she grinned.

Aden jumped from the bed and rushed to his desk, applying pressure on it to test it out as well, “It’s so beautiful!” he grinned, “Thank you, Lexy!” 

Clarke's lips formed a smile and Lexa gave her a  _ Don’t you dare  _ look but Clarke ignored it, doing a poor job at concealing her laughter, “Lexy?”

“It's Lexa, for you.” the brunette said, wiping her hands on her jeans.

“I don’t know. I really like Lexy. I think I’ll start using that from now on. What do you think, Aden?”

“Lexy is a cute name!”

“Exactly why I loathe it.” Lexa mumbled, “Don’t listen to him. Honestly, I’d rather you call me anything but that.”

Clarke laughed and tugged on the collar of Lexa's shirt, “I might need some convincing.” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow and her eyes flicked down to Clarke's lips, her own lips parting slightly. She moved closer, smiling at the disgusted sound Aden made at seeing two adults almost kiss. Their lips were almost brushing, then she stilled, “Don’t think I have forgotten about our bet.” she whispered before pulling back, taking several steps backwards, towards the door, “Dinner will be served in a few.” she winked and left Clarke with her little brother, the blonde woman staring at the now empty space in silent awe and the frustrating feeling of incompleteness.

She had  _ almost  _ gotten to Lexa. She had seen it in her eyes for a millisecond.  _ Next time, Woods,  _ she smirked and, upon the boy’s request, she lifted him on her back and carried him back downstairs, smiling at the happy sounds he was making. He was rather light for an eight year old, she noted, which made it easier to carry him around.

Her nostrils picked up the scent of food and she nearly moaned, only realising now how hungry she had been for the past couple hours. 

Aden’s small arms were wrapped around her neck and the boy leaned his chin on the blonde’s shoulder, “Lexy is happy again.” he whispered, “Thank you.”

Clarke stopped in her steps, “Why are you thanking me?”

Aden hummed and shrugged, “You made Lexy happy.” he simply said, as if it were obvious, “Can you continue doing that?”

Clarke’s eyes grew soft, “I promise to try and make her as happy as possible.” she felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes when she heard the protectiveness in his tone.

“Thank you.” Aden whispered, nearly falling asleep on Clarke's back, “Comfy.” he mumbled.

Clarke heard Gustus’ booming voice come from the kitchen and she spotted him with his arms crossed, frowning at something Lexa had said undoubtedly, seeing the smug look on the latter’s face.

“I mean, we warned you.” Lexa grinned, “It’s okay that you couldn’t build it. You’re still good at a lot of things.” she shrugged.

Gustus was about to say  _ thank you  _ when Lexa spoke again.

“Just not as good as me.” she said with a proud grin.

“You little shit.” Gustus said.

“Language!” Indra shouted from where she was standing by the stove.

Lexa's eyes left her father and landed on Clarke who had been watching them silently, her hip resting against the doorframe. Lexa’s eyes settled on her little brother, sleeping soundly on Clarke's back, seeming more at ease with the woman than he ever had with anyone that wasn’t family. 

“He never trusts strangers.” it was all she could say as she felt her heart go into overdrive at the heartwarming sight in front of her. The little boy was happily clinging to Clarke, snoring lightly and drooling on her shoulder, and Clarke looked more than happy to let him, even if it meant having to change her shirt afterwards.

“Never?” Clarke asked, surprised.

Lexa just shook her head, bewildered, “How did you-” she frowned, “How?” she asked, astonished.

Clarke couldn’t give an answer to that so she just gave a small shrug, “I don’t know. He just...climbed on my back and I guess he was tired because he fell asleep in seconds.”

Lexa's lips stretched into a gigantic smile. Clarke didn’t think she had ever seen such genuine smile etched on Lexa's face and she couldn’t help but return it with a smile of her own, though a more shy one.

“Should I put him to bed?”

Gustus shook his head, “He still has to eat. You can put him on the couch if you want. We’ll wake him up when dinner is served. There is a blanket on the armrest.”

Clarke nodded and carefully, with Lexa's help, they lowered the sleeping boy on the couch and draped the blanket over his body. Lexa brushed some hair out of his face and kissed his forehead before pushing herself back up.

“Thank you.” she whispered, looking at Clarke with something akin to adoration. In a mindless motion, she grabbed the back of Clarke's neck and kissed her lips, only realising her mistake afterwards.

Clarke's lips shifted into a victorious smile and she quietly fistbumped the air, “Oh my god,” she whispered, “Next week is going to be so much fun. I cannot  _ wait  _ to see you publicly admit that I’m a better teacher.”

“That’s not fair!” Lexa whispered, still aware that Aden was asleep close to them, “You can’t just…” she made frustrated hand gestures, “do  _ this _ ,” she gestured at Aden, “and be all cute and sweet and so damn adorable and kissable, and then punish me for falling into it!”

“A deal is a deal, Lexy.”

“You calling me that isn’t part of our deal.”

Clarke smiled, “I know. But it’s fun so I’m going to keep doing it. Also, I love annoying the heck out of you and it seems to do the trick rather well.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Clarke laughed quietly. She moved closer, “You should be relieved. Now you get to kiss me without fearing losing the bet.”

“Yeah, only cause I already lost it.” Lexa arched an eyebrow, “I could have won it so  _ easily,  _ but you just had to do  _ that!” _

“It’s cute that you think you would have won easily. You would have given in the second I really tried to get you to.” Clarke pokes the tip of Lexa’s nose, “I’m proud of myself. You caved in and I didn’t even have to try all that hard.”

“What are you kids talking about?” Gustus appeared in the living room, carrying plates to start setting up the table.

“Just a bet that Lexa unsurprisingly lost.”

“ _ Unsurprisingly?”  _ Lexa repeated, affronted.

“You heard me.” Clarke bumped her hip against Lexa’s, “And now I have a reason to look forward to going to work.”

“Why is that?” Gustus asked.

“Oh, no big deal, just Lexa admitting in front of all hers and my students that I am a far better teacher than she could ever hope to be. You might even want to throw in there that I'm a genius seeing how quickly I won this bet. Also, Kane is going to be  _ pissed  _ when  _ you  _ tell him about his broken mug.”

Lexa groaned and dropped on the one-person sofa, “I can’t believe I lost this bet. Let me guess, you’re going to brag about this for the two months to come?”

“Make it four.” Clarke winked.

Gustus laughed, “Seems like someone finally figured out how to one up you.” he stated, “Color me impressed, Clarke.”

The blonde woman smiled and her eyes softened when she looked at Lexa who was staring blankly at a wall, probably thinking ahead of ways to avoid her punishment for losing. Or maybe just realising how utterly screwed she was. Or both.

“I tried...so hard...to make students slightly afraid of me so they would behave and now-” Lexa groaned, “now I have to publicly admit to being inferior to you. Just great.” 

Clarke grinned, “Rules are rules.”

Lexa sighed and glared at Gustus when the man retreated to the kitchen, laughing loudly, at her expense.

“I know that. I’m a stickler for rules, your words, not mine.” Lexa said, “And to be honest, I _do_ think you’re a better teacher. I just don’t want to admit it publicly.”

Clarke sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, “I can’t wait to see it, though. It will be a big moment.”

“Yeah, I bet it will be for all of you.” Lexa rolled her eyes but an almost invisible smile was playing on her lips, “You’re lucky you’re cute, Griffin.”

Clarke smiled and placed two fingers on Lexa's chin to angle it to the side until green eyes finally detached from the wall and connected with her own, “I’ll be in the back of the classroom, filming the whole thing.” she whispered, “So, you know, look your best.” she chuckled at Lexa's offended expression. She brought their lips together slowly, then leaned her forehead against Lexa’s, “In all seriousness, I’m pretty happy you lost that bet because I don’t think I would have liked having to wait hours before kissing you again.”

Lexa's sour mood vanished for a moment and she tilted her head up so she could kiss Clarke again, longer this time, lingering until they had to part to breathe. Her thumb brushed along Clarke's bottom lip and her breath hitched when Clarke kissed the tip of her finger before grabbing hold of her hand and kissing each of her knuckles.

“You’re a softie, Woods.” 

“Only for you.”

Clarke's eyes snapped up, “You didn’t deny it this time.” she pointed out, surprised and flattered.

“You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Clarke laughed, “I think I’m a very good influence on you, Ms Woods.”

Lexa scrunched up her nose, “Debatable.”

Some shuffling behind them alerted them of Aden waking up from his slumber and at the same time, Lexa’s dad and Indra left the kitchen with the food in hand.

“Waking up right on time!” Gustus said, “Come on, it’s time to eat. Lexa, stop sucking your girlfriend’s face for a second and come join us.”

“I wasn’t-” Lexa blushed, “Shut the fuck up, dad.”

“Language!” Indra scolded.

“What-” Lexa threw her hands in the air and glared subtly at Clarke who was doing a poor job at muffling her laughter behind her hand, “Don’t you even dare.” she pointed a finger at the blonde who grabbed it and kissed the tip of it before intertwining their fingers and tugging Lexa to the dining table.

Lexa smiled and ruffled Aden’s hair as they walked past him, laughing when he sleepily groaned and tried to put it back in place. He lazily dragged himself to his seat at the table, his head nearly falling into his plate. Were it not for Lexa catching him in time, he would have ended up with a face full of food.

When she looked around her after a few moments, looking one by one at the people seated at the table, at Indra eyeing Clarke warily but with a glint of appreciation in her eyes nonetheless, at Gustus whose eyes were bright with excitement at having guests over for the first time in awhile, at Aden who was nearly falling asleep on his mashed potatoes, and finally at Clarke whose smiled reached her eyes and who was casually conversing with her father, Lexa couldn't help but think that she wouldn't trade this for the world. 

This was happiness at its best.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated and I sometimes forget to reply to them but know I appreciate and read all of them!  
> my twitter: @benemlmns


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